How To Know If Your Ex Is Over You For Good?

Unfortunately, exes are oftentimes over us for good. They have no more romantic feelings for us, hence why they easily stay away from us for weeks or months.

We see them going out a lot, drinking, signing up for Tinder, meeting new people, and doing pretty much the opposite of what they promised they would do or not do.

They behave this way because they feel immensely relieved that their unsuccessful, unfulfilling, or suffocating relationship finally came to an end. They want to shake things up a bit.

That’s why they focus on increasing external happiness as it’s the quickest way for them to stop feeling guilty for leaving us.

And when they stop feeling guilty and start having fun with external sources of happiness, their unwanted emotions are gone and they feel that they’d made the right decision.

They get excited that they can selfishly chase after their happiness again—so they continue to move on without a care in the world.

But sometimes, we come across a different type of breakup in which the dumper isn’t over his or her dumpee yet.

He or she still loves the dumpee, but can’t commit to the dumpee for genuine reasons outside of his or her control.

We’re not talking about depression, circumstantial breakups, and breaking up because of parents, religion, or culture.

We’re talking about the kind of breakup where the dumper makes a conscious decision to leave his or her partner for a short while to focus on extremely important matters.

Matters that give meaning to his or her existence.

This can be anything from work, passion, health, personal problems, family matters, children, education, etc.

If you found yourself in this type of breakup, your ex may not necessarily be over you for good. Your ex could be dealing with important life concerns that need to be taken care of before he or she can give love to you.

So whatever you do, don’t pressure your ex for commitment. Give your ex some time to deal with his or her stressors—and sooner than later, your ex will express the wish to continue to work on the relationship.

In this article, we’ll talk about how to know if your ex is over you for good. We’ll go in-depth and mention the things your ex would do if he or she still loved you and wanted to be with you.

How to know if your ex is over you

How to know if your ex is over you for good?

You can always tell if your ex is over you by looking at your ex’s attitude. Atitude shows what your ex thinks about you and how he or she feels toward you.

If you notice relief, suffocation, anger, contempt and you see your ex doing crazy things in his or her spare time, you can forget about getting your ex back.

Your ex doesn’t love you anymore because his or her focus is on unimportant matters that don’t really concern your ex. He or she isn’t solving problems that are required for his or her love for you to resume.

Your ex is doing quite the opposite. He or she is looking for quick fixes that would make him or her happier without you.

Let me say that again.

Your ex is trying to live a happier life without you because your ex thinks that he or she deserves/can find better. Think about that for a minute.

If your ex was taking care of her sick children or struggling with some disease for example, that’d be a different story.

Your ex would have a good alibi to prioritize things that actually matter in this world.

Dating someone else right away and sipping cocktails at the bar with his or her buddies isn’t one of them.

So if you’re ready to learn how to know if your ex is over you, do the following things:

  1. Examine the reason why your ex left.
  2. Find out what he or she is doing.

If you do this and break the rules of no contact (which you shouldn’t), I’m certain you can find the answer you’re looking for in under a minute.

You can tell if your ex is over you by the way he or she talks to you

It took me years of research and breakup analyses to finally understand the dumpers who aren’t completely over their dumpee.

That’s why today, I’m happy to share with you how to know if your ex is over you, isn’t over you, or is pretending to be over you.

It’s really much simpler than you may think—and applies to both males an females.

You can tell how your ex feels about you by the way your ex communicates with you. If your ex says that he loves you and wants to see you in the very near future, your ex is expressing affection for you.

He is making plans with you and wants to see you because he actually wants to see you.

This “want” or wish to bond with you shows that your ex isn’t over you and that your ex will be back the moment he’s taken care of matters that hinder your relationship.

So pay close attention to your ex’s promises, wishes, wants, and needs—and discern whether your relationship is on an indefinite break/termination or if your ex actually has plans for you.

If he or she has plans, your ex will most likely be back to try again soon.

Your relationship could face uncertainty issues, loss of attraction, and a lack of commitment afterward, but that’s a topic for another time.

The point is that you can sometimes tell if your ex wants you back soon.

And you don’t even have to talk to your ex, guilt-trip, or beg your ex for another chance. You just have to listen to his or her excuse and act upon it with the indefinite no contact rule.

Here’s how to tell if your ex is over you for good and isn’t coming back in the foreseeable future.

How to tell if your ex is over you for good

How to know if your ex is over you quiz

Here’s a simple 5-question quiz that will tell you if your ex is over you. Answer the questions and read the results for each answer.

[quiz]

[question]1)Is your ex engaging in unproductive things (partying, playing video games, watching Netflix…)?
[/question]

[wrong]Yes.
[explanation]Your ex likely doesn’t love you because he or she is focusing on irrelevant matters that aren’t needed for your relationship to restart/continue.[/explanation]
[/wrong]

[answer]No.
[explanation]Your ex could be taking care of important things before he or she gives you what you need.[/explanation]
[/answer]

[wrong]I don’t know.
[explanation]It’s better that you don’t know. If your ex comes back in the future, knowing or not knowing this won’t make a difference. It will probably make moving on harder for you.[/explanation]
[/wrong]

[/quiz]

[quiz]

[question]2)Did your ex express a romantic interest in you, make plans with you, and told you how valuable you are to him or her?
[/question]

[answer]Yes.
[explanation]Your ex loves you otherwise he or she wouldn’t be making plans with you. Your ex could, of course, feel guilty, but if that were the case, he or she wouldn’t willingly suggest to meet up. Your ex would likely demand space and time.[/explanation]
[/answer]

[wrong]No.
[explanation]Your ex doesn’t love you at the moment. His or her love may or may not return in the future. It depends on how good your relationship was and how life treats him or her afterward.[/explanation]
[/wrong]

[/quiz]

[quiz]

[question]3)What is communication with your ex like?
[/question]

[answer]My ex replies to me and then we talk for a while. Some time later, my ex reaches out to me and we converse again. Our communication isn’t how I want it to be, but it’s not too bad.
[explanation]Your ex respects you and enjoys your company. He or she could be taking care of important matters. Either that or you got friend-zoned.[/explanation]
[/answer]

[wrong]My ex replies to me but doesn’t initiate conversations.
[explanation]Your ex needs time to himself/herself. This isn’t a very good sign. Go indefinite no contact. [/explanation]
[/wrong]

[wrong]We don’t talk at all.
[explanation]Communication is dead because your ex doesn’t love you. He or she has strong doubts about you. You need to stay in no contact.[/explanation]
[/wrong]

[wrong]My ex ignores me.
[explanation]This implies that your ex doesn’t care about your feelings and thoughts about him or her. Your ex doesn’t love you and is completely over you. [/explanation]
[/wrong]

[/quiz]

[quiz]

[question]4)Is your ex dating someone new?
[/question]

[wrong]Yes.
[explanation]Don’t expect your ex to love two people at the same time. Most of us don’t work that way.[/explanation]
[/wrong]

[answer]No/not yet.
[explanation]This doesn’t necessarily mean that your ex is staying loyal to you. But it does indicate that he or she could be back in a few days or weeks if that’s what your ex promised. [/explanation]
[/answer]

[answer]I don’t know.
[explanation]Ignorance is bliss. Keep it that way.[/explanation]
[/answer]

[wrong]My ex dated someone for a little while but no longer does.
[explanation]You have to keep moving on for your own sake. You deserve better.[/explanation]
[/wrong]

[/quiz]

[quiz]

[question]5)Has it been a month or longer since your ex left?
[/question]

[wrong]Yes.
[explanation]Your ex is over you. You need to move on and perhaps your ex’s feelings will change in the future when your ex encounters issues in life.[/explanation]
[/wrong]

[answer]No.
[explanation]It doesn’t mean that your ex won’t ever return, of course, but it does reduce your chances of reconciliation. Most dumpers that change their mind come back within a month. If it goes past that point, you need to start working on losing hope. Get over your ex and learn to love yourself again.[/explanation]
[/answer]

[/quiz]

How do I know if I’m over my ex?

Now that you know if your ex is over you, determine whether you’re over your ex—and see how far you’ve come since the breakup.

Let’s categorize your attachment for your ex into four different categories.

We’ll call them:

  1. Emotional dependency
  2. Obsession
  3. Anxiousness
  4. Detachment

Here’s how you can tell in which category you fit.

We’ll start with emotional dependency and describe how each stage feels.

Emotional dependency:

You feel so deprived of love and recognition that you need your ex to make you feel better. Without your ex by your side, you struggle with daily tasks and feel like your existence is meaningless.

You experience physical pain and typical separation anxiety symptoms—and feel incredibly pulled toward your ex. You want to talk to your ex so that you can receive love and consequently stop the gut-wrenching breakup pain.

Obsession:

Separation pain has lessened, but not entirely. It has switched over to an extreme desire to know what’s happening in your ex’s life. You want to stalk your ex on social media and talk to your ex very badly. You desire closure and are still extremely hopeful for your ex to return and admit that he or she was wrong.

If you are in the obsession stage of getting over your ex, you mindlessly chase after your ex and look for clues and signs that your ex isn’t over you yet. You hope and pray for another chance with your ex and expect your ex to have a change of heart.

Anxiousness:

In this stage, you are healing from the breakup and getting over your ex. There are days when you feel better, followed by days that you feel worse. Although you still think about your ex every day, thinking about your ex doesn’t necessarily hurt you badly.

It makes you feel unpleasant, nostalgic emotions that deepen your cravings for intimacy.

If you’re anxious about your ex, you no longer need your ex by your side to function properly. You’d gotten over your ex to the point of independence.

Detachment:

When you get to the detachment stage of getting over an ex-girlfriend or ex-boyfriend, you no longer care about what your ex says and does.

You don’t care if he or she starts dating someone else because you’re no longer emotionally connected to your ex. Your thoughts and feelings have changed so much that you may not even want your ex back anymore.

You’ve created a life that you enjoy—and you don’t want your ex to ruin it for you. Deep inside, you feel that worrying about your ex isn’t worth the emotional pain that you experienced in the previous three stages.

You love yourself too much to run after your ex and risk another emotional setback.

And that’s it.

I hope this article has helped you understand how to know if your ex is over you completely.

I also hope that it’s helped you determine where on the detachment scale you are.

If it did, comment below. Share your emotional progress as well as your ex’s love/detachment with others. ?

37 thoughts on “How To Know If Your Ex Is Over You For Good?”

  1. Hey Zan,

    I am surprised by the amount of criticism in the comments. I personally enjoyed this post. I feel that false hope is the main thing that keeps people from feeling better. I know that is what I have been battling in the 2 months since my breakup. The longer you have false hope the longer you hold onto something that isn’t real. This only leads to you being in pain longer. Waiting for something that may or may not happen. False hope leads to you being stuck.

    I enjoy your posts because they are honest and don’t encourage people to keep hoping. It encourages them to move on and get themselves better. If people read any of your previous posts they talk about how there is always a chance that your ex comes back to reconcile but you can’t wait around hoping. This article was honest and I appreciate it. It doesn’t say that someone is never going to reach out again. What it is saying is that the dumper has decided to move on and now is solely focused on detaching completely from the dumpee. They are not thinking about you like you are thinking about them. Your posts have helped me the most in realizing that the mindset that the dumper and dumpee have are so different. That is why dumpees need to get rid of false hope to move on. This article demonstrates that.

    Keep up the good work. It has helped me so much and I hope you keep making posts that are honest and not filling people with the idea that their ex will come back. Because nobody knows. And since nobody knows you have to act as if they are not coming back.

    P.S. i think I’m sadly still stuck in the obsession stage. It’s been so hard to let go but I’m finally seeing a little progress.

    Reply
  2. Without addressing attachment styles, this article is not credible. People with avoidant attachment styles do these things to convince themselves they’re over someone. Detaching is not that simple. They may not reach out or want to reconnect, but just because they are doing these things does not mean they’re over someone.

    I really like some of your articles, but this one contradicts others you post completely.

    Reply
  3. I was friends with someone for a few months and it was a really intense friendship. Became very close and considered each other to be very good friends. We had a great time when we’d meet. Talked to each other constantly, and it was a bit flirty too until he realized that he was practically pretending to be in a relationship with me. I think he realized he was lonely and he was using me to fill a void. We stayed friends but toned down the flirting. It was fine, but lately he had become very distant and then one day, just blew up and said he had no interest in maintaining any sort of relationship with me, and that i should never talk to him again and i’m acting like we are so close, even though we are just superficial friends. It was so odd, and although i could feel him pulling away, it went from 24/7 talking/bonding to never wanting to speak again. He said our last meeting was a pity invite. He said really mean and hurtful things, and showing anger is very unlike him. Its been about 3 weeks and i’m not sure if he was just going through something or if he’ll come back. I haven’t talked to him at all.

    Reply
  4. I for one appreciate the no sugar coating of the articles because most likely than not it’s the truth. We can wish, hope, romanticize our wants from out exes but only in the rare occasion do any of those things really work out. Thanks Zan for being more realistic than fantasy based.

    We all want to get some type of connection from out ex and that is why we are all here but even if we do it’s not ever truly the same as before. Sadly, this realization should be had as fast as you can for your heart’s sake.

    Reply
    • Hi Gee.

      You’re right about that.

      Long ago, I realized that the truth helps dumpees let go of their unrealistic expectations and get out of denial much quicker. This is why I provide very little false hope and encourage everyone to absorb the truth (as difficult as it may be) and start getting over their breakup.

      Kind regards,
      Zan

      Reply
  5. Hi,

    I think we should try to understand and face the reality as it is – we are no longer in a relationship with that person. It will do us good, as painful as it is. And the fact that we ‘read’ the tone of these articles as not very encouraging, it is because it makes us lose our hopes – and, sometimes, they are fake hopes. But I think the mind, right after the break-up, is like a muddy water – we cannot see through it clearly, and, most definitely, we are not able to think clearly. That is why time apart/No Contact helps; this period should help you detach a bit from the situation. Unfortunately, some of us use this period of time counterintuitively. But at some point, your body will force you to get out of that situation – and it will be done in an unexpected way. Believe it or not, our body has its own language, we just have to listen.
    It’s never easy to move on or get over something that hurt you. I am talking now as a dumper. The decision I took was not an wasy one, because we, dumpers, do have a heart too. I am not sure why we tick the ‘bad ones’ category for the others, but from my experience, it hurts too. I am still recovering. So, yes, it hurts.
    I don’t know how many people can accept these facts – the only constant in your life is change (and you have little control of it), and life goes on (regardless if you like it or not; and again, you have little control of it). The only things you have control of are your mind and your choices. The sooner you accept the reality as it is, the easier it will be for you to work on your choices.
    I wish all of us the best! We deserve it, just like that.

    Reply
  6. It’s been 5 months after break up and I’m on anxious stage. Sometimes I feel worse and feel like I’m dropping down to the depression but try to keep myself, so this feeling go away. I’m looking forward to this feeling when I don’t give a f-ck about my ex, but unfortunately it doesn’t go to me for now. Probably, it’s a matter of time.
    Dating with another guys and getting new friends helps me the most.

    Also, I’d like to thank you for your blog, Zan, you write really right things. It’s useless to chase after people who don’t love you.

    Reply
    • Hi Viktoria.

      Thanks for the comment!

      You’re getting better each day but you probably don’t realize it because breakups take a lot of time to process. Do whatever it takes to get over your ex, but if I may suggest, try not to get involved with someone new too quickly. You probably aren’t ready for that yet. Take care of yourself first.

      Kind regards,
      Zan

      Reply
  7. Personally, I’m not sure about your new style.

    Of course, the faster dumpee will hit rock bottom, lose all of his hope for reconcilation, the better. Only then he can really start rebuilding himself anew.

    On the other hand, it feels like you trying to shout ,,THEY ARE GONE! GONE! YOU UNDERSTAND M********R?!”.

    I believe one needs to grieve and lose hope gradually in no contact. Your articles are great, but for the people who are in NC for a bit of time and lost a bit of their hope already. For starters, I believe it will just hurt them and they will deny that.

    I’m sure you know Dating Guy and The Love Chat. They are very similar to you – keep NC forever, work on yourself, and IF they come back, you will be a better man, and decide if you even want them again. That is very positive and gets me more than your current ,,ex is not coming back, forget her”.

    Still, I love your articles as they are very insightful. That’s only my point of view, hope you are not mad about my criticism. 😀

    Best regards!

    Reply
    • Thanks a lot for your feedback, Igor.

      I wanted to emphasize that the dumpee needs to move on for his own good.

      But now I realize that I need to soften the tone and be more empathetic.

      Thanks a lot. I’m super grateful for your constructive criticism!
      Zan

      Reply
        • Thank you, Carly.

          I’m open to all suggestions that would improve reading experience.

          If you have any suggestions or ideas, please let me know.

          Best regards,
          Zan

          Reply
    • Hi Igor,

      I prefer to read and listen, people who keep me from feeling hopeful, than to tell me that there is always a light at the end of the tunnel. In the first months (3) after my breakup, I read and watched many blogs and videos of people who spread the message of the 30 days NC and other stuff. I had this hope, and so my anxiety grew, because in fact my ex never changed his mind. This is just to say, that things do not always go as we want, and I find it much more productive that we really evolve and think about ourselves, whether our ex-lover, comes back or not. Since I started to focus more on myself, reading more “raw” and realistic articles, I feel that day after day I feel better.

      It may not work for everyone, especially for those who are still in a stage of lasting hope … I understand that, for sure. But I find it more productive to believe that we don’t really need our exes to be fully happy in the future and now and even to believe that they won’t come back =).

      Reply
      • Haha, no problem Zan, but it was only my point of view. 😀 But it’s great you are listening to your audience. ^^

        Thanks for reply Isabel. I totally agree with you, that we don’t need our exes to be happy – but, everyone needs to understand this in their own pace, no one can and should force it.

        Still, we agree that indefinete no contact is the only way. I feel sorry for thousands of people that following 30 day NC, I’m also victim of this. :/ I hope one day they will see through that bullshit.

        Reply
  8. Thank you for writing your thoughts Zan, they’ve helped me in some ways.
    My ex & I separated four months ago, and my no-contact started about two or three. It’s likely we were the 0.1% – our relationship was complicated, though we never antagonized each other.
    My heart tells me, we likely won’t see each other again. I miss them terribly, but accept it’s beyond me & hope we’ll meet under better circumstances, in another life.

    Thank you again for your positivity & goodwill. Many advice sites support no-contact (some didn’t), but their advice is their product. It left me feeling preyed on, I didn’t much like it.

    Peace, love, & hugs <3

    Reply
    • Hi Hazel.

      Thank you for your comment.

      Sometimes relationships end to teach us a lesson—and othertimes simply because we can’t get much more out of them.

      Either case, I hope that you enjoyed the time you spent with your ex and that you don’t lose hope in dating others.

      If your ex ever comes back, you can decide what to do with him when that happens. But until then, treat yourself with love and care—and stay healthy.

      Kind regards,
      Zan

      Reply
  9. Hi Zan!

    Unfortunately for me, I feel like I’m still in the Obsession stage — recently, I had what I’ll call a rather extreme mental breakdown after doing one of those social media stalking journeys and decided that I could no longer keep hurting myself like that. I discovered about 3 weeks ago that my ex has entered a new relationship and it intensified the need for stalking.

    After said breakdown, I just realised I can’t keep doing this to myself – my ex and his new girlfriend are doing nothing wrong, but the thought of him being happy without me is just too painful. However, I’m the one continuously putting myself through anxiety and pain by exposing myself to their happiness, and I can at least remove that from my life. So, starting this week, whenever I feel the urge to do said stalking, I’ve been actively finding something to do immediately in order to stop.

    I’m also planning on other life changes and working on myself to hopefully keep myself busy enough (after this whole staying at home due to Covid-19 ends, lol), that I’ll reach what you mentioned in the “Anxiousness” phase — where I’ll still think about him, but at least it won’t hurt as much as it has so far.

    As far as where I think my ex is, I think it’s safe to say he’s fairly detached from me at this point. He has not tried to initiate a conversation with me in months and the relationship start pretty much tells me he is long gone. I had some hope even when he wouldn’t talk to me because he would at least reply when I reached out every now and then — but this last development really seals the deal at least for now.

    Thank you as always for the posts – and sorry for the long reply!

    Reply
    • Hi Eve.

      You’re doing great!

      By distracting yourself, you’re able to push your ex and his happiness in his new relationship out of your consciousness.

      Continue to do this so that you don’t suffer from unnecessary anxiety. It’s only a matter of time before you stop feeling the wish to stalk and obsess.

      Stay strong and thanks for the comment.

      Zan

      Reply
  10. I’ve also noticed the tone and advice of this site is becoming more cynical and I think it’s doing the opposite to people who visit than they expect.I’ve also come across another site identical to this one with only different names, do you run multiple sites?

    Reply
  11. Hi Zan,

    I feel that for some time the tone of your articles has changed (compared to your articles of one or two years ago), and that your goal might be now more to help dumpees let go of hope and move on, rather than giving them (false) hope of reconciliation.
    It is not a critic of course, your articles are always great, but it is just that your articles seem so different than the ones you wrote months ago.
    For instance, it is hard to think that you are the same person who wrote the articles on how to re-attract your ex with the « law of attraction », or the complete guide on how to get your ex back.

    By the way, do you still believe in the things you wrote at the time (like the LOA) ?

    Thanks !

    Reply
    • Hi Rick.

      Thank you for pointing that out.

      Since a lot of people are struggling with their breakup I thought it would be best not to promote false hope.

      That’s why (as you can tell) my approach has changed over the years. It’s now on helping people detach from their expectations.

      I still believe in LOA, but I don’t think that a person should obsess, hope, or pray for something out of his control.

      We attract things and people that are equal to us – on the same frequency.

      Please let me know if you have any suggestions for writing more reader-friendly articles.

      Thank you,
      Zan

      Reply
  12. Hello

    Well i know my ex is completely over me (he told me so, 2 months after the breakup), and im working on myself to overcome this situation aswell.
    Im in a stage where half the week i feel amazing, and i think i’m totally over him, the other half i feel like s***, and here we go again (today is a good day)

    I’ve be friendzoned. He is now the person who has the initiative to contact me first most of the time. And I’m ok with this. Last week, it was my birthday and he was the first person to wish me a happy birthday, 10m after midnight.

    The only thing that annoys me is that he has already sent me selfies of him (for what?), a photo of a mug that I offered him with an illustration that I did, telling how amazing it was -.-‘, and he even keeps in a whatsapp group where the participants are, my brother-in-law, my two sisters and me (I already left).
    We were together 8 years, and we were actually best friends, but he was the one o decided to breakup… so why the mixed signals? In the beginning of our communication after the breakup, this kind of texts made me happy, but now i know, how stupid i was, to think we could be together again.

    I’ve been friendzoned, and i’m also ok with that, because although i feel pain sometimes, i dont want to be with him again. And our friendship was atually really good. I just dont want the mixed stuff.

    Reply
    • Hi Isabel.

      Your ex is trying to tell you that he cares about you as person. He’s showing you that he values you and your efforts throughout the relationship.

      Don’t look too much into it. You’re still anxious, so you’re overanalyzing things. Think of him as a really good friend and everything will soon make sense to you.

      Best regards,
      Zan

      Reply
  13. Yes I agree with Linda. Since when did Zan’s philosophy become like this? One month and they’re done?

    It’s not consistent with previous articles like the “Stages of the breakup for the dumper.”

    Are you seriously suggesting Zan that women and men of all ages are absolutely done with the other person after one month? My brother’s wife went back to him after three months (they split before they married) saying she made a huge mistake.

    It also is complete bunkum from my perspective. I have dumped people and by no means am I over them after one month. I haven’t dumped them because of some simplistic “I don’t love them” – the most recent one was six years ago and it was because they were behaving in a crazy manner making me miserable. I still found them attractive and loved parts of their personality but I couldn’t deal with being in a relationship with them. It took me over a year to be “over” them and countless interventions from my friends and family not to get back together with them.

    Reply
    • Hi James.

      Exes come back all the time. It can take them a month, 3, 6, a year or even longer. But they don’t come back because they aren’t over their partner. Please don’t mistake guilt, respect, doubt, and other sentimental feelings for love. People don’t come back because of them.

      They come back after they’ve realized their mistake (usually when they encounter an issues bigger than they can handle).

      Admiring someone for the person he or she is does not mean that you love him or her. It means that you’re thankful for good memories and for staying loyal until the end.

      As a dumpee, the sooner you lose hope the better. All I’m saying is that you shouldn’t keep looking back after a month because you’re wasting precious recovery time.

      I hope this clarifies your concerns.

      Kind regards,
      Zan

      Reply
  14. Well Zan my ex’s attitude shows that he don’t care about the relationship anymore. I know l and examined the reason why he left but I don’t need to know what he is doing right? Because that would mean breaking NC!

    This research if yours that only 0.1% of the dumper aren’t completely over they dumpees hit me hard… but why some of them come back? This depends on the good relationship (we had one) but how the life treats him (I think that is treating him good).
    And in this quiz the part ‘we don’t talk at all’ it’s because we are in indefinite NC from July Zan.
    P.S I think I’m in anxiousness stage

    Thank you for your wonderful articles ❀

    Reply
    • Hi Linda.

      Thanks for the wonderful comment!

      Yes, you don’t need to know what’s going on in your ex’s mind. The less you know, the less hurt you get, and the faster you’ll get over him.

      Exes come back when they realize that the grass isn’t greener on the othe side. Their respect and love for their ex-partner grows back because of their consistent positive ex-thoughts. That’s when they reach out with a more positive mindset and express the desire to bond again.

      Don’t talk to your ex, Linda. Keep getting over him and you’ll win whether he comes back or not.

      Best regards,
      Zan

      Reply
  15. Wow,so if you don’t hear from your ex after a month , just forget it , that flies in the face of nearly every relationship advisor , I’m not buying it.

    Reply
    • Hi Linda.

      Forget about your ex the moment he leaves. You have to keep moving on for your own good.

      And if your ex wants you back, he’ll let you know.

      Kind regards,
      Zan

      Reply
    • I’m not either. This article gives bad advice. Do we wait and pine? No, but exes often reach back out. Even this blog has another article that shows that over 90% of exes reach back out at some point. Contradicting.

      Reply

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