Before I get into the details of a push-pull technique (what I call the fishing technique), I would like to say that I am personally not an advocate of this method.
It’s a mind game that requires a lot of planning and scheming in order to attract the other person.
This can either work with someone you just started to date, your partner or an ex. It’s a psychological manipulation technique that works like a magnet.
So if you don’t care about your dignity and moral values, continue reading to find out how to use it.
How does the push-pull technique work?
The push-pull technique works like fishing. The girl/guy you are trying to get is the catch, the rod is the push-pull technique and bait is your psychological manipulation scheme.
Essentially what ends up happening with the push-pull technique is that you become the mastermind and direct how the course of the relationship with the targeted person will unfold.
For example, you are talking to a girl and you notice she becomes unsure or aloof and she distances herself from you due to whatever reason.
Since you are desperate, you come across the push-pull technique and you start applying it (of course, at your own risk). I can’t stress this enough. Manipulating someone into being attracted to you is wrong on many levels.
When two people are in contact, they have the desire to connect and feel validated. It’s a basic human desire engraved in our brains to maximize our chances of survival.
This dates back far back in history and evolution of human beings. This need hasn’t changed since. People are still strongly dependent on one another for many reasons. Bonding with another person releases chemicals throughout the brain, leaving us wanting more. Without thinking too much about it, the brain wants what gives us pleasure and avoids everything that causes us pain.
Let’s see how we can exploit this human need by using the push-pull technique.
Before using this technique give the person you are trying to attract the best attraction experience no other living person can.
Tell them how important they are in your life and how you wish you could stay friends forever. In this way, you pump them up with the impression of unconditional friendship, loyalty, devotion…
When you have accomplished the goal of making them attracted to you enough, let them go cold turkey by disappearing and acting distant.
- Show indifference and anything that shows interest in the following ways:
- become genuinely disinterested in their life
- hang out near their place with the opposite gender to arouse preselection
- stop all contact, reply briefly, pick up the call and make an excuse to leave shortly (friend coming over)
- postpone/cancel meet-ups
- Your feelings for this person are now “vague” which significantly raised your value in their eyes and you went from beta to alpha in a matter of minutes.
- You invite them out. By now they should be starving for your attention. They are wondering what you have been up to so you apologize for calling rain check on them. You come up with some bs excuse like your grandma dying or parents’ divorce (sick, I know), and how you have been coping with stress. They now start to sympathize with you and you go back to being your old, friendly self. Now is the time you tell them again how you appreciate their support and make definite plans to enjoy some quality time together.
- Staying positive and upbeat, now allows that person to start forming an unhealthy emotional bond with you. This sort of behavior starts to slowly reel her back into your life. This time, the victim wants to make sure, you don’t push them away again to avoid their pain. They begin to invest more and more, thinking they it’s them who are responsible to soothe your anxiety and the need to pull away.
By now, that person thinks you are a really great person for sticking around. They consciously or subconsciously think they play an important role in your life for which they give themselves credit for. This person appreciates you sharing your vulnerability with them and they, as a result, begin to open themselves up.
Now you want to repeat both the pushing and pulling process but on a milder level (you are going to run out of grandmas at some point and there’s only so much drama they are going to tolerate). I wouldn’t recommend using this technique more than twice or thrice as you will end up overdoing it.
As you start using this push-pull technique, the power in your relationship will shift over to you. They will become dependent on your validation and appreciation of their presence.
Once you’ve successfully pulled off this manipulation, you become the puppet master and hold the cards in the relationship. You are now the mastermind and have complete control of your situation. Since you are willing to go to the means of manipulation, I urge you to find out how to become the best version of yourself. 🙂
Dangers of using this technique:
- decide if it’s the right thing to do for you
- living with a devious past
- over-pushing the other person away
- simply failing at applying it properly
Let me know what you think about this push-pull technique. Did it make sense? Have you done it before to someone without thinking about it? Perhaps you’ve been manipulated in this way before? Share your thoughts below.