Don’t Miss The Signs Your Ex Still Loves You!

Sometimes, soon or not so soon after the breakup we see signs our exes still have romantic feelings for us. Although it doesn’t always happen right away, it can happen to you at some point in the future.

In this article, I’d like to inform you about the signs that your ex still has feelings for you.

Signs your ex loves you

Don’t Miss The Signs Your Ex Still Loves You!

Emotions of love can be tricky and some people do a better job at hiding them than others. Luckily, with a little bit of awareness, you can discern the signs your ex still loves you.

The reason these signs are so difficult to interpret ourselves is that we love our exes like crazy, and we rely too much on what we are feeling. We are so caught up thinking about what he or she is feeling towards us, we become absolutely obsessed with our exes.

Soon, we mistake this ex-addiction with being in love with them and we often create a one-sided, unrequited love. If you are having difficulties reading the signs that your ex still loves you, ask your friends for an honest, unbiased opinion. They will be able to tell you what they see from an unattached perspective.

The truth is that what you are feeling, your ex likely isn’t. This is because almost all exes feel suffocated prior to leaving the relationship and must go through the 5 stages of a breakup for the dumper for them to cool off and feel pulled toward you again.

Space and distance make hearts grow fonder.

Obvious signs your ex loves you and misses you

You may see obvious signs your ex misses you when you follow the indefinite no-contact rule. If you don’t give your former partner the space to miss you, it’s possible you won’t ever see these signs as your presence would only further suffocate your ex.

This is true whether your ex is a he or a she as the breakup dynamics are the same regardless of gender.

The most obvious sign a person likes you, misses, and loves you is when they give you their attention. It doesn’t get more apparent than that. If your ex showers you with attention every day from morning to evening, his or her actions speak loud and clear.

This person likes talking to you, enjoys your company, and coincidentally, feels good when talking to you.

Another great sign your ex likes you is when he or she flirts with you and wants to have sex with you. Flirting is truly one of the best ways to build up attraction toward anyone, not just an ex.

And if your ex openly flirts with you, plays with words, calls you cute names, and even says he misses you, it doesn’t get much better than that.

The best way to take advantage of this sign is to play along and see where it leads. The love hormone—oxytocin is not only released during sex or when snuggling, but also when flirting. It’s truly a fantastic way to “make your ex love you again” when the opportunity presents itself.

It’s extremely obvious your ex has feelings for you when he contacts you first. This means he’s been thinking about you and wants to gain something from you by sending you an early-morning message, or perhaps evening goodnight wishes.

By saying he wants to gain something, I’m not referring to him asking you for a favor or his cd player. I’m referring to emotional fulfillment—happiness. One of the best ways to tell no-contact is working is when your ex becomes reliant on you for his happiness.

It’s no different when it comes to signs that he still loves you. Everybody wants to be around people that make them happy—and your ex is no exception. If he is happy around you now, he will want to be around you even more in the future.

Always judge people by their actions

By observing people’s actions, you can always see what a person thinks about you. People aren’t experts at hiding emotions. We are so emotionally driven, that we always express what we feel in the moment. You can tell how much someone values you by observing that person’s actions.

In your head, try to judge people’s respect for you in the next scenarios (1-being the lowest, 5-the most).

  • your boss pays you minimum wage
  • you accidentally bump into someone and he shouts at you
  • your friend said he would call you two weeks ago
  • your ex initiates contact twice a day

Other less surefire signs your ex loves you

Some of the early signs of wanting to get back together are stalking online or offline, sending you love quotes, talking to your family about your good times, asking your friends what you’re up to, drunk dialing, trash-talking your new partner, refusing to give you your stuff back, asking you about your new life and if you’re seeing someone new.

The reason why these signs are still important signs is that they show your ex still cares. They may not be as direct as you want them to be, but they are still signs nonetheless.

Your ex is experiencing both positive (talking about good times) and negative (jealousy because of your new partner) feelings toward you. This proves your ex still cares about you, otherwise, he or she wouldn’t be spending time thinking and talking about you.

How to tell if your ex only likes you as a friend?

We discussed different ways to tell that your ex still loves you, such as giving you his attention. Now, how can we tell if our exes only want us around as a friend? This is slightly trickier to figure out because we often have high expectations of our exes and we wish to be at the top of the ladder.

Can you love too much

A big sign your ex likes you only as a friend is when she puts you in the dreadful friend zone and makes sure you stay there. This is apparent when your ex stops replying to your messages, doesn’t initiate first very often—or at all, and only messages you when she actually needs something from you—a favor. This could be a request to:

  • take her dog out
  • go shopping with her
  • fix her computer
  • ask you for advice
  • do something you were previously good at

Receiving the signs that your ex likes you only as a friend can hurt the dumpee.

Dumpers interested only in friendship will avoid flirting, end conversations abruptly, use dumpees, talk to them about their dating lives, and do the things that friends do.

Sneaky signs your ex still loves you and wants you back

Sometimes exes will talk to their friends and tell them they want you back. The word will somehow come around back to you and you will find yourself in a perplexing situation.

Since you’re likely in no-contact, you will wonder whether you should reach out to your ex, tell her that you feel the same way, and get back together as quickly as possible.

In this case, your ex is thinking about getting back with you, and that’s great news! This doesn’t, however, mean you should reach out to her and ask to get back together. It’s her turn to act and give her power of significance back to you and say she’s sorry.

There are many things you need to be aware of before you accept this person back into your life. If you accept her back in a heartbeat, it’s very likely she will leave again just as fast.

Another subtle sign she wants you back is when your ex is sad and miserable without you and keeps saying how depressed she is. There is clearly a reason for her mental deterioration, and she could be looking for a quick remedy to her problem.

She will probably not mention the things that are troubling her, so she might confess that she hasn’t been happy since the breakup. She could take a more passive/indirect approach and turn words around, leaving you uncertain.

People hate admitting they’ve made mistakes—especially when it comes to GIGS situations. They will instead give you signs they missed you and give you subtle clues that they want you back.

Oftentimes, a subtle sign means your ex is in the early stages of wanting to get back together. She is entertaining the idea of rekindling the broken relationship to suit her needs. Her needs are of emotional nature—something exes and other romantic partners can fulfill.

You can wait patiently until your ex admits to making a mistake. You must wait for her anxiety and other negative emotions to build up high enough for her to crack. There is no need to jump the gun at the very first sign you see because you could end up shooting yourself in the foot. If it’s too early, you will get rejected and could experience the breakup symptoms and anxiety all over again.

People are creatures of emotions which means your ex could be feeling down one day, send you a message that she misses you (which is what people do when they are sad), and then go out to party with her friends and have the time of her life.

Because you saw her message two hours late, you quickly profess your feelings to her. What you don’t know is that she’s happier than ever at that moment in the club and she will not feel the same way toward you anymore. She will likely think to herself “I’m okay and happy now and disregard your message.”

Exes will give you sneaky signs in their moments of weakness.

Zan

How to know if your ex wants you back for real?

As I mentioned earlier, exes always come back for themselves. They come back for them to gain something from you. I wish there was a less selfish way to put it. Unfortunately, that’s the real reason exes come back.

So if you consider that dumpers want you because they are unhappy with their life for whatever reason, you can easily tell they want you back.

Here are a few reasons why an ex would come back:

  • his rebound relationship doesn’t work out
  • he is sad and depressed nobody wants to date him
  • none of the girls he dated are good enough
  • deterioration in his or his family’s physical or mental health
  • death of a family member
  • losing a job
  • getting in an accident
  • losing friends
  • dropping out of school
  • drugs
  • financial crisis

There are many negative reasons why an ex would succumb to anxiety and ask for forgiveness. If you know your ex has recently experienced one of the following tragedies above or something similar and is messaging you often, you can rest assured he wants you back—or at least your comfort.

A depressed person will often express his regrets and ask you for forgiveness. If he does that, he’s only a step away from taking it further. The real question is; do you want to mend his broken heart when he crushed yours? Karma always strikes unexpectedly.

Signs your ex doesn’t love you

The signs of indifference with your ex can be recognized in minutes, if not seconds. These signs are the polar opposites from the signs of love and affection. This means that when you talk to your ex, he asks for space and distance from you.

He is cold, rude, impatient, and downright ruthless. If your ex tells you he hates you, this is an obvious sign he doesn’t want you around at the moment.

Despite love and hatred being similar love emotions, they are still far from each other when it comes to respect and kindness. So when someone tells you, “look, he still cares because he’s angry,” I want you to think twice before you feel the butterflies in your stomach.

I’m not sure where this idiom originates from as it’s truly unhealthy for your mental state. If your ex tells you to jump off a bridge, I don’t think you have a reason to be happy about his words.

He feels suffocated and needs air to breathe. In other words, he doesn’t want you around. The message couldn’t be any clearer. If you push your luck when your ex is feeling angry, you could end up getting blocked.

Many breakups turn out this way, so don’t fret! You must start following the indefinite no contact rule so that your ex can process the breakup on his own terms. Eventually, he will calm down and hopefully stop feeling angry toward you.

I know my ex-girlfriend still loves me

There are times when exes say they still love us but need time away from us. Most of the time they say this just to soften the blow—which gives you false hope. They will say things like, “Maybe we will end up together in the future.”

If you’ve been reading this blog and learning about post-breakup behavior, you will know this is a white lie. Your ex is telling you what she feels at the moment. The true meaning, unfortunately, is concealed, and it’s up to you to dig deeper.

If you think your ex loves you but is afraid to tell you so, then a little bit of time apart should help her confess. Real love can only be strengthened with a bit of physical distance.

Your ex would run in one direction for a little while until separation anxiety kicks in. Soon, she would no longer be able to stay away from you and bounce back harder than ever, like a rubber band.

I see signs my ex still loves me. What do I do?

If you’re absolutely sure that your ex loves you and wants to spend time with you, you have nothing to worry about. She is likely giving you the obvious signs mentioned in the first chapter, and it’s only a matter of time before she comes back and asks you to be exclusive again.

Wait for her to lead you back into the relationship by following her steps. There’s no need to abuse the push-pull technique. Instead, simply mimic her efforts.

My ex still has feelings for me but I don’t

If the time away from your ex has made you realize that you don’t want to rekindle the relationship, but your ex does, then you might want to be honest with your ex.

Tell him or her that you only wish to be friends and show signs of moving on. And if your ex still loves you and wants to get back together after that, say you need some space and allow your ex to move on with someone else.

Do you see any signs your ex still loves you? Please leave a comment.

16 thoughts on “Don’t Miss The Signs Your Ex Still Loves You!”

  1. Dear Zan,

    After a healthy LTR with my ex-gf and respecting her decision to break up with me because the relationship was missing the adventure, the spark etc. I didn’t contact her and respected her decision.

    In the last two months of NC since the break up, she has contacted me twice. The first one was three days after the break-up to let me know that he took care some mutual bills, check up on me and to let me know that she still loves me(her words). The second time was 1,5 month after the break to wish me happy birthday and check up on me. Both times I replied politely but nothing more, I have never initiated contact only replied.

    What are these signs tell you ?

    Bryan

    Reply
    • Hi Bryan.

      The signs tell me that she’s trying to handle the breakup maturely and be polite to you. She’s just trying to stay on good terms, that’s it. Don’t look into it too much as there’s nothing hidden for you to discover.

      Kind regards,
      Zan

      Reply
  2. Hi Zan
    My ex broke up with me 7 weeks ago.. he told me he didn’t see a future with me and wasn’t happy.. I could see he was changing and getting depressed with the relationship.. he said he tried to get it back the feelings he had for me but didn’t really try.. I think once the honeymoon phase was over he got scared.. we broke up holding each other crying like babies and telling each other we love each other.. he told me if I ever need him for anything he will be there for me just to call him if I’m in trouble he’ll always be there for me and pick up the phone.. in the last 7 weeks he’s hasn’t contacted me and won’t return my stuff.. He hasn’t deleted me off social media and still had my pics up.. I heard he’s telling people he doesn’t know what he wants.. I’m so conflicted with the way it ended I really want us to get back together I love and miss him.. the first 5 week I was in contact just to see how he was and ask about my stuff.. I didn’t beg or pled I held my ground.. I have my pride.. I went to meet him at week 5 to ask again for my stuff.. I told him I was sorry at how things turned out and that I missed him and I don’t hate him.. I doing no contact now deactivated my social media’s so I don’t have to see things he posts and take a break from everything.. as I said he’s never made first contact or even asked me how I am.. he’s been selfish at the moment but i think that’s to do with his depression. I’m a very understanding person in life and try not to hold hate in me.. I would really like to move on but I can’t seem to I love him and miss him so much.. I know he misses and loves to me he’s said he thinks about me everyday and hasn’t been with anyone else.. do you think he might come back ???

    Reply
    • Hi Kym.

      He might come back if you don’t pressure him or demand things from him.

      If he’s depressed as you say, he could find you attractive again when things get rough for him and he realizes that you used to be his support.

      But until then, recover and get over him. It’s your best and only option.

      Kind regards,
      Zan

      Reply
      • Hi Zan I left a reply on one of your other posts about an update on this of how I did the no contact and after a month he got onto me we got back together and now we’re living together and getting married.. I want to thank you for your advice and how this site helped me so much.. the tips on what to do when you get back with an ex worked on making me and our relationship stronger.. so thank you again you saved me my sanity and my relationship ❤️

        Reply
        • Hi Kym.

          I’m happy for you! Your ex seems to take you seriously and things are finally the way they should be. Great job on getting this far!

          I’m here for you if you ever need me.

          Sincerely,
          Zan

          Reply
  3. Hi Zan, if my ex-girlfriend still follows me on all my social media accounts and not only views every Instagram story I post but is always among the first few to view the story, does this mean she misses me? She has not reached out yet but has liked a few posts.

    Reply
    • Hi Kelv.

      Since your ex isn’t commenting or talking to you directly, it’s not safe to assume she misses you (enough). She is simply available and always checks her stories, regardless of who it is. You will know she misses you when she acts that way.

      Zan

      Reply
  4. Hi Zan, would you say this qualifies as her still having feelings?

    My friend told me that while he was out yesterday, he and my ex said hi to each other and while they had a short convo she started talking about why we broke up (he did not ask her why we broke up. He only remembers mentioning me briefly while they were talking about random topics and then she went on a rant about our breakup). She used bunch of reasons or the breakup, some of which she never told me and were never an issue before, and she completely turned those stories around to benefit her, basically making herself a victim. He said she kept talking and used a bunch of reasons and kept on going about that topic even though he did not even ask about it.

    She constantly asked him: Do you think that it was okay that he did that?
    He said she asked that multiple times while they were talking. He is one of my best friends, she knows that. They talked only once before this, i’m also pretty sure she knew he would tell me.

    Reply
    • Hey Logic.

      What your ex did was try to appear as a good person by reasoning with your friend that she’s not at fault. She blamed you for your mistakes to make herself look better. Her actions don’t appear one bit caring to me. As a matter of fact, she’s angrier at you than she is sympathetic. On a positive note, she’s not indifferent!

      Zan

      Reply
      • Thanks for the reply Zan.

        She does appear to be angry, i do not know why. I have not made a single mistake, nor did i ever contact her since the break up. In fact, every time she does see me, i handle it like a boss. Could it be that she is angry because it appears i am doing so well after the break up?

        Reply
        • Hi again, Logic.

          Your ex appears angry because she blames you for the breakup. She believes she’s the victim so she feels and acts that way. Your ex is not angry because you’re doing so well. She’s not jealous, envious or anything like that either. It’s a phase dumpers go through when they break up with someone. They feel empowered and need space from their dumpees.

          I suppose we could say she blames you for the breakup and the way she feels.

          Zan

          Reply
          • Hi Zan,

            My ex broke up with me after a year of dating saying she wasn’t ready for a husband. She also said she loved me but not as much as I love her her and wanted to spare me the pain later. I immediately went to no contact but she kept checking my WhatsApp Status updates right when I posted them. I stopped doing the post and she contacted me after 17 days of no contact to check to see how I was doing and to let me know she was dating someone else and hoped I was dating. What does that mean. I love her a lot and do not know what to do. ANY ADVICE. THANKS

            Reply
            • Hi, Rich.

              Your ex is moving on so there’s nothing you can do directly to bring her back. It has to be her idea. It’s also possible she had been seeing other people and simply liked the way it felt to be free.

              You need to do as she says. Date other people when the time is right and maybe you will like someone more than her.

              Best of luck, Rich!

              Reply

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