Our exes are sad and disappointed that their romantic relationship with us didn’t work out. Things haven’t been going the way they’d planned and it made them very unhappy. Secretly they have been hoping things would change, but they never did. Their feelings kept bottling up until the day they decided to take the easy way out.
“If they are so disappointed and miserable as you say, then why aren’t they sad about it? The only emotion I see is hatred and annoyance.”
Who knows how long they have been planning to pull the plug on you. It could have been days, weeks or even months. It took them a lot of courage to finally do it.
They probably discussed it with friends and family, which of course all supported them in their decision. They probably exaggerated and made you look even worse than you actually are, just to stick to their decision.
“That still doesn’t answer my question. Why is my ex angry when she dumped me?”
Fine, geez!
Your ex is angry because you most likely begged and pleaded them for love and attention. I’m willing to bet more than 90% of people in this world exhibit this sort of behavior. It’s a panic instinct most people act on and push their ex away. All the crying and coercion for forgiveness and another chance with your ex are the main reasons why your ex is angry.
A lot of people make this rookie mistake right after the breakup, so it’s no big deal.
Here’s why your ex is angry at you.
Pleading
What pleading for a second chance does, when they have made up their mind is, it pushes them away. If planet Mars provided living conditions, your ex would consider moving planets just to get away from you. Imagine you walk in the city and a beggar approaches you.
You don’t really like him because he is notorious for committing crimes in your neighborhood. Because he is persistent, he keeps following you around the place. You tell him a dozen times you can’t help him out, but he persists. What do you do? You run for the mountains just like your ex.
Because you don’t respect your ex’s wishes and pursue, he or she not only doesn’t want to see you but also hear you or message you.
Do you understand now why your ex is angry? They have reached the tipping point and need a time out.
Most people have done these basic mistakes, including me so I can’t blame you.
“But I haven’t done any begging and pleading. Besides, she dumped me.”
In a case where you kept your dignity intact, you need to dig deeper and see what caused the breakup. Were you a prick to your ex? Find the reason/s why your ex is angry. Your ex can’t be mad at you if you lived like a saint. Apologize once for what you’ve done and let the time cool things off.
“How do I placate my angry ex?“
You, my friend, don’t soothe her. Your ex is angry at you, therefore there is nothing you can say or do post-breakup that will fix the situation.
“Gee thanks for nothing.”
Hey! I gave you advice right there! The best thing you can do is do nothing! Go indefinite no-contact and your ex is sure to calm down at some point. Anger can only last so long before it dissipates.
Avoid these post-breakup mistakes to anger your ex a tiny bit less.
Breakup makes exes angry
If you are contacting your ex and you see them angry, you must stop immediately. By forcing contact with your ex-girlfriend or ex-boyfriend, you are preventing him or her to process the breakup.
Your ex has also experiences loss and must now be left alone for a while. You will hear from this person once they are ready, so try not to interfere with your ex’s healing process. Focus on yourself instead!
Game plan
Now that you know what not to do, here’s what you should do if you want them back.
First of all, you have got to start by increasing your confidence which is the most attractive trait a person can have. Next, ask yourself if it is possible to get back with your ex. Now whether you want to get back with your ex or not, start working on yourself and become the best version of yourself.
Congratulations! If you have successfully followed this advice, you should now feel like a new person. Your ex has calmed down significantly and began to take notice of the new and improved you.
For this to work, you must truly change for the better. Tricks and gimmicks won’t work long-term as you will have regressed back to your old ways.
Let the time do its work so you don’t rush back into a broken relationship without addressing the issues that led to the breakup.
Some relationship gurus say to wait 30 days before giving it another go. If your ex broke up with you on impulse and there is very little wrong with your relationship, then that might work.
On the other hand, if your personality needs time to correct bad behavioral patterns, take some time off instead. Start following the indefinite no-contact and truly work on your shortcomings. Trust me, you will appreciate it and so will your angry ex.
Let us know in the comments below what you did to placate your angry ex. I’d love to hear what did and didn’t work for you.
my ex and me dated for 2 years and three months we got along so well i was insecure and we couldnt go alot of places because my anxiety and she understood i slowly was working on it and she broke it off with me and after tyhe break up she was like oh move on for a bit and then she would say if its meant to be we weill get back toghther then she would say she was so happy and wanted it to work. then a eek after the break up me being dumb contacted her and tried to talk and made it worse she said she was talking to somone else ,I think she said it to get me to leave her alone.. what do i do to get her back ive made improvement she hasnt blocked me ive posted my achivements
Hi ,I was with my ex from past 2 yrs, he is so angry with me that he blocked me from everywhere , he use to love me a lot and cared for me, now he says he was baby sitting me, it hurts, I tried very hard to get him back but he failed all my attempt either my getting angry on me or by not acknowledging me and my efforts, he broke all ties with me, he even bad mouthed me in his anger, it’s almost 74 day he didn’t reverted back, I really love him a lot, even as Aquintence I want him back, what should I do so that he start talking to me again, I miss him badly , this silence from his side is killing me, pls suggest something.
Me n my ex had been together for almost 3 yrs he broke it off with me last February n we hv been in contact til this day ..we did d no contact rule Bt I seen a lot of hot n cold n til this day it’s st d same ..he treats me now like a piece of meat..it’s so damn hurtful!! I would b wit him one week n d next it’s like nothing happened..I don’t see any chances of getting back together..he always wanted space n most of our relationship that’s what started it ..he hates b around a woman a d time ..so I’m @ d point where I should of gave up a looting ago ..it’s not getting any better!! He doesn’t love me anymore,which never did ..I think it’s time to give up hope bc d love been left that he had !!! I’m just heartbroken day n n day out !! D love is gone 4 him
Hello my ex and I broke up six months ago and we didnt talk about the breakup like adults or in a serious way knowing a good reason to left i almost cant do anything more than no contact i used to see him everyday in college and that wasnt good for me as healing and focusing on myself i never thought that he will get back with his ex in front of my eyes in college
I begged too much after breakup and i wanted to make things go safe and to talk about everything or at least to have it as more closer but he didnt want to neither to see me i always feel negativity around when we are in the same place especially when he is with his ex
I barely see him smile to me or even say hi
My ex broke up with me over a week ago.. We have been together for 9 years. We had a few big and deep conversations about our future together on and off and I admit, i used to be sensitive and emotional so nothing got really resolved because he didn’t want to hurt me. So he figured out some options to make it work and keep us happy. I never picked up on anything strange within our relationship or his behaviour so i thought everything was going fine.
2 weeks ago he was being affectionate and loving towards me as usual. Then last week he broke down and said he never meant the things he said about our future and never wanted it. He only said it just to keep me happy. He also said that he was feeling unhappy and starting to spiral down to a dark place. Said he didn’t love himself, didn’t know who he is anymore and is wanting to go through a journey to find himself again, but alone and without me in the picture. He ignored my social media messages and changed his profile picture and relationship status (but kept our photos).
Then the week after he texted me asking to talk. He tells me that he has come to the conclusion that he no longer loves me and it started 2yrs ago (our first conversation about our future). I begged him asking for a second chance and that i was willing to make changes then he got angry and defensive. He said that I was boring in our relationship, didn’t care much during the times when we spent time together and the past week without contact or seeing me he felt really happy. I even saw (online) that he was going out more often than usual with his new group of friends and doing things that he wouldn’t normally do. During our conversation he kept walking pacing around and wouldn’t let me touch him. He said he didn’t want me in his future plans anymore and said at one point he may have developed some feelings for someone else but didn’t act on it due to us being in a relationship during that time and said that should have been a red flag indicator. I kept telling him that I believe that he still loves me or there is atleast some love.. and he got mad at me for telling him how he felt.
Do you think he really meant that he didn’t love me anymore or was just saying that just to hurt me? Because loss of love for someone and holding out for 2yrs is a long time when he could have ended it back then. I also don’t understand how he could be loving then crying and then become angry…
My ex boyfriend Justin got mad at me because I went to the store plus mass up the room then he thinks I took his $3
Hi!
I broke up with my ex because I didn’t trust him. We never talked about this, he then had one week later a new girlfriend but didn’t want to lose me as a friend but did always hot and cold to me. I felt so betrayed.
Then I broke the contact and we still aren’t talking.
He tried to talk to me in the beginning but now he is avoiding me and I am still angry and hurt about how he treated me.
Did I wrong or was it the best decision?
Hi Brenda.
Your ex is hot and cold because he’s dating someone new.
You must now wait for his relationship to end before things can escalate.
Kind regards,
Zan
Hi,
My ex agree to meet me one last time. I was hoping to patch things up but the moment I saw her face, my heart sunk cause I know its over. She keep mentioning about having a potential boyfriend as well. We share a great bond that no one can understand and relate. We lasted for more than 2 years. She sacrifices a lot of stuffs for me and I was her most important person in her life. But now, she’s just very furious towards and cannot bare to spend any time with me. What shall I do? I have started no contact but I am worried that this will allow her to move on more and be even closer with this “potential bf” of hers…. Please advise me.. the pain is unbearable
Hi Dynamo.
Staying in no contact and focusing on you is all you can do.
Now that she’s dating someone else, you’ve got to distance yourself from her. Please keep in mind that keeping tabs on her won’t make you feel any better. It’s only going to keep your hopes alive for longer than necessary.
Stay strong!
Zan
My ex broke up with me but she has been doing cold and hot until she started showing resentment and anger towards me i told her about it and she apologise for doing that am now presently doing a no contact please am i on the right track please waht else can i do i love her to be back
Hi Awolola.
Your ex got cold because you pushed too hard.
So let your ex be for now and stay in no contact for as long as it takes. In the meantime, work on your shortcomings and personal development.
Best regards,
Zan
Making a relationship work requires give and take on both sides and you may need to make compromises. and must be leave a ego problems both sides. nice post! thanks.
Hello, I’m in a pretty bad situation. My boyfriend and I broke up after being in 5 years of relationship. The reason being I’m too short tempered, I disrespected him and he’s done handling my mood swings. He dumped me because he wants to concentrate on his life now. I’m shattered now. I had dreamt of my future with him. We had made many plans together. He used to love me so much. Now suddenly things changed. He’s bringing up mistakes I made in the past like 2-3 years back. His mom knows everything now and he’s been influenced by his mother to stay away from me. She never liked me since day one. His mom and I have had arguments earlier also. Now though I promised him that I will change he’s not trusting me. I have truly decided to change because I really love him. I’m regretting for every mistake I had made in the past. I need him in my life again. What do I do? Please help.