Getting your baby daddy back after the breakup works the exact same way as getting your boyfriend, husband, or fiancé back.
The only difference is that when you have a child together, you also get to prove how confident, mature, strong, and self-dependent you can be when it comes to your kid.
In other words, you can show your ex-boyfriend what a great mother you are and earn some extra brownie points that way.
Just make sure you don’t abuse the situation and drag your child into the breakup with you. This likely won’t get you the results that you’re hoping for. On the contrary, it will probably make you look desperate for love, attention, and recognition.
Especially if you try to guilt-trip, manipulate, or force your baby daddy to commit to you and the child.
Keep in mind that there’s nothing guys hate more than being forced against their will. They hate it so much, it makes them feel sick to the stomach.
Literally, they feel hate, anger, and disgust.
The key to getting your baby daddy back, therefore, is to make your baby daddy want to come back. And by making him come back, we’re not talking about using some sneaky text your ex-back technique that you can find on the internet.
That would just push your unreceptive ex-partner further away from you and make him resent you (or increase his resentment if he already resents you).
To make your baby daddy regret leaving you, you first need to give him the freedom to experience life without you.
By giving him the chance to do as he pleases with his life, you’ll essentially allow him to process the initial stages of a breakup and encourage him to reach out to you and talk to you on equal terms again.
It’s so important that your partner actually wants to converse with you. If he doesn’t want to talk and you try to make him take responsibility by sheer force, you’ll never restore the lost interest and power to your relationship.
All you’ll do is remind him why he needed to leave you and permit him to continue to paint a negative picture of you.
So to increase your chances of reconciliation, leave your baby daddy completely alone. Follow the rules of no contact, focus on improving yourself, and look after your child/ren.
A time will come when your ex gets into some kind of trouble (breakup, health concerns, financial problems, friends issues, depression, etc) and becomes receptive to you.
That’s when he could notice the new and improved you (provided you worked on yourself) and feel more positive emotions for you.
But before that happens, you actually have to put in the effort, stick to the breakup plan, and wait for your ex to get in a pickle.
Today’s post is for brave women who think to themselves, “How to make your baby daddy regret leaving you?”
How to make your baby daddy regret leaving you?
No man ever wants to go back to a woman who’s an emotional wreck. Sad and desperate women, unfortunately, don’t prove how much they love their ex-boyfriend.
That’s very, very rarely the case.
Women who lack control of their emotions usually suffocate, repulse, and guilt-trip men and make them feel nauseating emotions.
That’s why before you make your baby daddy regret leaving you, you must do your best to regain your composure and stand on your two feet again.
You can do this by trying your hardest to lose reconciliation hope and by working around the clock on accepting the breakup.
The moment you do and you rationally as well as emotionally discern that your ex may never come back, something great will happen to you.
You won’t just start feeling happier, independent, and detached from your ex. That’s just the beginning.
You’ll also fall in love with yourself and by doing so, decrease the risk of suffocating your baby daddy whenever the two of you converse about important relationship matters.
Matters such as finances, children, divorce, and any unfinished business. These are one of the few topics you should talk to your ex about.
Everything else (non-urgent) counts as breaking no contact and is extremely dangerous.
It’s dangerous because if you reach out to your baby daddy for no reason, you’ll require him to talk about something he’s not interested in.
You need to understand that even if your ex is your child’s father, he could perceive you in a negative way and feel smothered by you.
The way he feels really depends on (the negative) emotions he associated with you throughout and after the relationship.
For most people, these associated emotions are quite bad—and chances are that yours are too.
So don’t worry about reattracting your baby daddy back if your breakup is fresh. This is something that happens at a much later stage.
It happens during the inducement stage of getting back together with an ex when your ex hits a snag and suffers badly.
Until then, you shouldn’t worry about your ex and what he’s thinking and feeling in no contact. This will hinder your detachment process and personal growth—and make you even more obsessed with your ex.
The most important thing for you is that you get your old confident self back and find happiness in yourself and your child again.
Take this seriously so that you don’t accidentally give your ex the power to stomp all over you. You need to take the power away from your ex and retain your value as a person and a romantic partner.
Here’s what you need to do in order to get your baby daddy back.
4 Ways to get your baby daddy back
If you hope to come across some kind of push-pull manipulation technique that will bring your baby daddy back, know that there is no such thing.
Manipulation techniques work only on emotionally receptive people. That’s why nothing and no one can fix your broken relationship other than your ex.
It has to be your baby daddy’s idea to willingly come back to you.
So to encourage your ex to feel more positive emotions for you without obstructing his choice and freedom, here are 5 simple tips you should follow to get your baby daddy back.
1)Become independent
The best way to get your baby daddy to want you back is to fall back in love with yourself.
You can do this by lowering your expectations of your ex coming back and by creating a new life for yourself and your child.
It’s extremely important that you show your ex that you possess the ability to take care of yourself as well as your child. If you do this right, your ex might just realize that you don’t depend on him for anything.
Not even for his help with the child.
2)Become successful
As you may have heard before, the best revenge in life is success. And that’s because personal success makes people envious.
It makes them crave that which they don’t have and draws them closer to people who they can benefit from.
So to make your baby daddy regret leaving you, obtain emotional, financial, spiritual, intellectual, and physical success.
The moment you do and your ex notices it, he will respect you for it and maybe even contact you to see why you became successful without him.
3)Love yourself and focus on your son/daughter
Self-love after the breakup is very important. It depicts self-respect and high self-esteem—and tells people that you possess the emotional strength to carry on with your life.
So focus strongly on yourself and your loved ones—and your baby daddy might even become curious about your ability to persevere.
4)Get over the breakup
If you want to get your baby daddy back, you have to get over him. By doing so, you’ll reveal that you’re moving forward with your life and show your ex that you aren’t desperate for reconciliation.
When your ex notices that you’re moving forward, he, of course, won’t rush back to you.
As we said before, your ex need to find an motive to crawl back into your life. That motive can be any negative experience that forces your ex to self-reflect on his life.
When he self-reflects, he’ll probably reset his deep-rooted associations for you and seek love and shelter in your intimacy.
Get your baby daddy back by getting yourself back
Just like women, men are also attracted to confidence and self-esteem. They love it when a woman appears physically, mentally, and financially well and feels comfortable in her skin.
Knowing that a woman is self-sufficient (not overly reliant on them) tells them that she’s strong enough to selflessly give back to the relationship.
If you truly want to be respected by people you love, you must prove to them that you can survive without them.
Michael Bassey Johnson
On top of that, men also love mature, openminded, non-reactive, and self-aware women.
They love hem because such women have already heavily invested in themselves. They’ve taken the time to eliminate as many shortcomings, weaknesses, and stressors as possible—and by doing so, created a peaceful life for themselves and their children.
This is something that guys notice very, very quickly. They may not say it out loud, but they definitely feel the attraction toward the girl that has her life under control.
They’re attracted to strength, after all.
That’s why it’s super important that you focus on improving your flaws, weaknesses, and insecurities—and become enthusiastic about life again.
It will probably be difficult for you to become excited about your hobbies and passions if it hasn’t been very long since your ex-boyfriend, husband, or fiancé left.
But you must nonetheless muster up the courage to pull away from your ex and start getting over your ex as soon as possible.
It’s okay to grieve, cry and feel lonely. It’s also okay to think about your ex all day and all night. In fact, it’s perfectly normal as most dumpees uncontrollably obsess over their exes.
The separation anxiety and shattered self-esteem caused by the breakup make sure that they do.
But don’t deliberately hold on to your ex and refuse to move forward without your ex. If you do that, it will take you a really long time to move on from the person who discarded you.
It could take you years, so save yourself from months or years of self-torment and keep moving toward your goals and passions.
You will likely struggle to live without your ex for a few weeks or months (depending on how emotionally invested and heartbroken you are), but it will be so worth it in the end.
You can rest assured that you’ll become happy again as long as you try your hardest to leave your baby’s daddy in the past.
Signs baby daddy wants you back
If you and your child’s father still converse or if for some reason you have insight into his life, you might notice some signs that your ex will eventually come back.
You might see changes in your ex’s behavior and notice that things are looking more promising than ever.
Here are 5 signs your baby daddy wants you back.
1)His rebound ended
One of the most obvious signs your baby daddy wants you back is if your ex just came out of a rebound relationship and takes the initiative to talk to you.
This kind of behavior could indicate that your ex is afraid of asking you to take him back. But just because there’s a chance that he’s afraid, you shouldn’t try to make it easier on him.
He has to put in the effort to balance out the power in the new relationship.
2)Something/someone hurt him
As we mentioned earlier, exes come back when they go through some unpleasant experience.
This experience can be anything painful that helps them realize they’ve made a big mistake.
3)He’s suddenly interested in you and your child
If your baby daddy suddenly wants to spend time with you and your child, chances are that he’s trying to take responsibility.
He could be looking for a way to crawl back into your life, so observe his behavior and figure out his intentions.
If he wants you back, rest assured that he won’t let you wait forever. He’ll take action.
4)He’s reaching out on his own
Another great sign of a returning ex is when an ex initiates conversations and talks about non-essential things.
Such behavior shows that an ex is interested in talking again.
It’s your job to figure out whether he’s interested in being friends, partners, or if he’s just trying to breadcrumb you to relieve his guilt.
5)He’s complimenting you and saying you’ve improved
If your ex no longer sees you in a poor light and compliments your looks and personality improvements, you’ve got one of the signs that your baby daddy wants you back.
The reason why this sign is so special is that a change in mentality signifies a change of emotions, including pre/breakup and post-breakup associations.
This means that when your baby daddy compliments you directly or indirectly, he does so to acknowledge your personal growth.
It doesn’t get much better than that.
A guy’s compliment should reassure you that you’ve improved tremendously and inspire you to continue to become the best version of yourself.
What if your baby daddy doesn’t want you back?
If your baby daddy doesn’t want to step up and be your baby’s daddy, that’s completely fine too! You don’t want nor need a person in your life who’s less than 100% committed to you.
Especially if he’s choosing between you and someone else.
The truth is that you’re better off alone or with someone who’s ready to commit to you.
You don’t want to put your life on hold and continue to receive false hope from the person who possesses the power to hurt you and prolong your pain.
You might not admit it, but you actually want to be happy and move on with your life. It just so happens that your baby daddy left you and hurt you, so you’re now looking for the quickest solution that may not necessarily be the best.
So for now, focus on becoming happy again and you’ll slowly sever the bond that keeps you attached to your ex.
That’s when you’ll stop worrying about your baby daddy being an engaging, supportive, and loving father.
All you’ll care about is being the best mom that you can possible be.
And that’s how it should be. You should focus on the things that you can control, affect, and change.
One day, if your baby daddy doesn’t come back and you’re over your ex, someone new will fall in love with you and give you the love and support that you and your child deserve.
But until then, make sure not to develop any trust issues and positively strive for emotional independence.
I hope you’ve learned how to make your baby daddy regret leaving you. I know that the strategy in this article is very similar to attracting a detached ex back, but I believe it’s always better to memorize the things you should and shouldn’t do. It’s better than committing post-breakup mistakes and suffering as a result.
Love yourself and your child I promise u when he see u have moved on with s New friend remember I said new friend and let him see someone else is loving u and your child take pic he will relize that he lost a great family and may try and come back and Act like he want to be there but he really try run to house don’t let him have that advantage boss lady .
I’m in a crazy situation! I broke up with my son’s father a year ago. He got a girlfriend he currently lives with. We both had a loss in the family and we started talking…. Few months down the line now we are having sex. We claims he’s going to leave her and he doesn’t touch her. The lease is on his name and he wants to leave on good terms. He stays over some nights but goes back some nights. My son is getting attached to him again and my mind is restless because I’m not sure if I’m wasting my time. What should I do?
Hi Mama.
If his lease is ending, continue being nice to him. There’s a chance that he’s not that attracted to his girlfriend and that he’ll try t leave her on good terms. But if he’s got months left on his lease, then consider distancing yourself from him. You need to put yourself and your son first.
Kind regards,
Zan
Love yourself and your child I promise u when he see u have moved on with s New friend remember I said new friend and let him see someone else is loving u and your child take pic he will relize that he lost a great family and may try and come back and Act like he want to be there but he really try run to house don’t let him have that advantage boss lady .
Hello Zan,you’re work is good and impressive its helps alot..
last year,i was forced to date my rich high school bully who misled my family that i was dating him,he was controlling but also giving even he’s parents were the same..i got pregnant but after a month we had a fight where i miscarried after a few days,he went ahead and posted in facebook that i aborted his child,badmouthing me to all my classmates and friend whenever he met them…we both moved on he got a girlfriend and i also started dating a man who after six months later moved to nairobi city after lockdown..one day his friend invited me to cook 4 them and he agreed but when i went and started cooking the friend raped me and later blackmailed me to being his sex toy or he will tell my bf and harm me,it went on till jan 2021 when i got pregnant,he demanded an abortion but i denied and he wants nothing to do wit me or my daughter but he’s still dating girls…my parents are pressuring me because of the fathers lack of support..advise me please
Hi Norah.
I’m sorry about everything you went through. Since the guy doesn’t want to take responsibility, you don’t want him in your life. You’ll be much better off on your own and with your parents’ support because they actually want to help. Never force a guy to commit. It’s a waste of life. I can’t give you legal advice, but perhaps you should start by distancing yourself from those “friends” who aren’t good for you. When you do, you should figure out whether you want to report the rapist and bring him to justice.
Stay strong, Norah!
Zan
Hi am 35 year old mother and just started communicating with the father of my son early this year and our son is years, he knew that was pregnant by the time we broke up and now wants to meet in person before he sees his son thereafter we will conduct the DNA test which l proposed so that doesn’t think am taking a chance on him, and besides now he is unmarried his wife passed away in 2020 and after l dated him in 2003 to 2004 with his his previous wife whom they divorced in 2011, the previous wife caught him and l right handed having sex in his office by then was a teenager aged 18 years, but we continued with our relationship, however was disappointing by him when we were caught when opted or asked me if l can jump over the window so that his wife cannot see me, though it was late she had already heard that there were people in the office since it was a weekend and demanded him to open the door, and before he married the late wife in 2012 and died in 2020, now he wants us to get back together as he is completely staying alone, but the distance relationship its costings us as ma in SA and he in Namibia, however l want to complete my law studies and practice as an attorney for 5 years, if l do not move back asap am afraid might loose him but l think also if he is serious about me he has to wait, and he is an educated and well respected person in the legal field, l want to prove to him that l survived without and here l am today an independent person and took care for my son during his absence, but if visit him l need something in writing confirming that he will wait for me until l complete my studies while am working and also introduce myself to his family as his life partner or wife to be, please advise me am stressed and want this to work our, as he already wants to transfer properties to his son names and changes birth certificate and so forth and also will be having a comfort zone when l get back to him, though l still want to be independent and open my own practice so that l rely on him on everything.
Hi Prettious.
People, unfortunately, don’t wait for others. They don’t put their lives on hold, so you have an important decision to make. You either commit to him and invest in him or you don’t. It’d be selfish of you to ask him to wait for you while you’re unwilling to commit.
He might still be available to you when you’re finished with your studies. But if he isn’t, that’s okay too. You’ll find someone else.
Best regards,
Zan
Hi Zan
I got into a relationship with a guy and got pregnant for him,at first he accepted but when he’s out there with friends he denies the pregnancy saying that am loose,he started ignoring me I gave up on him.i went my way and took care of myself till I gave birth two months ago but still he hasn’t contacted me,I texted him but he showed no interest,, what should I do,,am really suffering while taking care of my baby girl because am still a student and am not working and very young (teenager)
Hi Immah.
I know it’s hard, but trust me that a relationship with a guy who’s refusing to take responsibility would be even harder. The guy would constantly spend time with his friends and refuse to grow up, which would leave you exhausted.
Immah, forget about the guy and focus on your baby girl. She needs and deserves your love and support and the guy deserves nothing.
Best regards,
Zan
Hi my names is Sabrina,
My ex boyfriend recently broke up with me reason why is because we fight over the same thing him being sneaky & over protective of his phone. I clearly just let him know what’s bothering me so we can communicate about it to try & fix the problem. I think he is just making excuses to not be with me if I’m a good woman to him & his children. We also have 1 kid together. It’s so hard to be dumped & treated this way knowing I put in my all & lost in the end. & so I’ve heard from some of his family I talk to tell me he never took me serious, he was a cheater, big time player, ect.. He also has a history of cheating in his past so I don’t know what to do but I know this. I love him even when he throws my son & I out of his house as if I am trash or something. I was a great girlfriend, mom, friend ect. Is what everyone says. I’ve never cheated out of our 3years of friends with benefits never. I just don’t understand. I get really bad anxiety & scared just of the thought of me not being with him. Please tell me what I should do.
Oh this is the second break up we’ve had that got serious. The last time he cut me off I let him go & he came back within a month asking me to meet up with him to talk about where we left off & turned out he committed. This was like 1 year before i had my baby.
Hi Sabrina.
I’ll tell you what you need to do but you won’t like it. You have to break free from the unhealthy attachment you have with your ex. You need to realize that you need your ex rather than want him and that this is dangerous for your emotional well-being. So first things first, get some emotional and physical space from him. You need to regain your independence and rebuild yourself from scratch.
While you’re away, think about whether this person can really contribute to your life and if you want someone like him in the future. When you get a better perspective on the relationship, you’ll realize that you probably deserve better and that settling down with him just because you have a child together is a mistake.
It’s not too late for you to be happy, Sabrina. I hope you do what’s best for you and your baby.
Best regards,
Zan
My situation is beyond unique but it’s been almost 2 years since we broke up and I’m in desperate need of advice on where to go from here. Back story: We had a great relationship that lasted a little over a year. He is 4 years younger than me and I was his 1st serious girlfriend. We got pregnant unexpectedly 8 months into our relationship. He then blindsided me with a breakup when I was 9 months pregnant with our daughter. He told me he didn’t see himself ever marrying me. Flash forward and I have tried everything to move on and have been unsuccessful. I even dated someone new for several months and that actually was the turning point. During that relationship, my ex and I started talking a lot-everyday and it became flirty. I broke up with the new guy and my ex and I have been in a weird limbo ever since. We hang out, do family things, took family pictures together, and are sleeping together but he wants to be “just friends”. HELP. I am still in love with him and he knows this but he won’t budge. He still feels like he’s not in love with me but it still feels like were in a relationship. Do I just continue doing what were doing and hope he comes around eventually or do i try and cut him off as best i can again in Hope’s that wakes him up?
What if you live with your baby daddy? How can you get him back
Am currently pregnant and infound myself in the middle a huge break up everything is just a mess he calls only to find out if am okay and if the baby is okay
Yet I don’t call him even when am sick I rather go see the doctor than to call him
However we are working together but different departments
Its not easy for me
Hi Zan,
My ex and I broke up early this year. We have two children together. He met someone who’s much younger and I’m a complete mess.
I have begged and pleaded for him to come back but nothing. He doesn’t care. He says he doesn’t want to come back, doesn’t want to try therapy, nothing.
It’s been 3 months and he’s already met her parents and she’s met his.
I am completely dumbfounded by this situation and really need a fresh set of eyes.
He comes to see the kids on Monday and Wednesday and he has them every second weekend. What do I do?
Every time I go out he asks me when am I going to be back, where am I going? Who I’m going with?
Is this normal?
Please help
It’s mad interesting to see how every break up and the time after that plays out. Like it seems a lot of people go through this on and off patch after the breakup.
I was with my ex for 2 years and it was amazing. We went on 3 different holidays in 1 year! She broke up with me a month after our holiday of not feeling happy anymore. And that was it, she hasn’t contacted me in nearly a year. I haven’t reached out either.
Crazy how you can go from everything to absolutely nothing just like that. I can see why people are put off relationships.
Hi Jack.
I’m sorry to hear that your relationship came to a sudden end. Your ex must have held negative emotions inside her for a very long time. So long in fact that she completely switched on you.
Try not to lost faith in relationships, though. They can be extremely beautiful if couples develop a positive mindset about them.
Best,
Zan
Hi Zan, by reading your posts I have build up an urge to contact you somehow.
I would like to discuss a relationship question with you and also offer you a cooperation.
Thanks
Jan
Hi Jan.
Thank you for leaving a comment.
If you have just a question or two, feel free to post them here.
Kind regards,
Zan
Hey Zan,
So the strategy is very similar as all the methods what a dumpee should do?
It’s good to read your articles as always because helps us all be more eyes open for relationships and breakups.
Thank you as always 🙂
Hi Linda.
This get your ex back method is very similar to normal ex back methods and doesn’t entail reasoning the dumper. It’s all about you and self-investment.
Kind regards,
Zan
if you have positively changed and have become better/ stronger. if he stays or leave, wont matter to you that much.
That’s right, Ryan.
Thank you for pointing that out.
Zan
Hello Zan, thank you for this article. May I ask…is there a chance when he sees the positive changes that he will believe that he made the right choice to go as you now look happier.
Hi Natalie.
If your ex sees that you’re doing well, he may feel happy for you. But this won’t tell him that he’s made the right decision. He’ll think that only if he doesn’t want you back.
Best,
Zan
Further to your reply…thank you by the way.
May I ask, how does the tension build in the same way for exes that have no contact at all.
Wont my ex get his ‘fix’ from seeing me when handing over our son.
Our contact is about baby business and nothing else.
I just feel like he will never reach out as there is no need because he has contact even though its limited.
Hi again, Natalie.
You ex might not reach out for anything other than your baby and you must prepare yourself for that. Work on letting go of all expectations and soon, you’ll feel much better.
If he gets in some kind of trouble while you’re gone, you’ll probably hear from him. So be patient and continue to detach.
Kind regards,
Zan
Thanks Zan, appreciate your time and effort.
Last Question…
Do you feel covid-19 sets back the dumper timeline.
In a sense that it stalls. The freedom to go out and party and explore was somewhat stalled for most.
My ex has been gone for 7months now. The single life only really kicked in after lockdown.
So with all take taken into consideration would it only feel like a few months to him. Or the reverse, will lockdown accelerated him to acceptance.
Guess I’m asking the unknown as you rightly point out all people are different.
It’s just hard to gauge at what point in the cycle he has reached.
Thank you…this website has saved me in more ways I can tell you