If you’re looking for signs your ex will eventually come back, look no further. The signs mentioned in this article, of course, don’t 100% guarantee your ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend will come back in the future. But that’s just the way reconciliations are.
Many times, exes don’t come back, whereas the ones that do often leave shortly after. It really depends on what’s going on inside the dumper’s head and the circumstances surrounding him or her.
This statement suggests that if your ex exposed himself or herself to a lot of unpredictable stressors, then the likelihood of your ex coming back in the future is much bigger. At least in contrast to your ex marrying someone else and having children with him or her.
But don’t worry too much even if you’re certain your relationship has ended for now and your ex appears ecstatic.
Exes tend to come back years later after the dust has settled and you’ve moved on. They do so because life gives them lemons and they don’t know who else to turn to.
This is true even if dumpers are popular among their peers or if they have a lot of dating candidates nearby.
And the reason for that is a lot less complicated than it may seem.
Once a person gets his or her self-esteem shattered, nobody but a person with a high level of interpersonal, intimate understanding can soothe that anxiety.
And that someone who understands or used to understand the dumper is often the dumpee.
That’s why the dumpee usually has a guaranteed front seat in the drama theatre.
He or she just has to want it badly enough.
So if you’re curious about the signs your ex will eventually come back, take a moment to read this article. You might enjoy it. ?
1)The relationship wasn’t that bad
Most signs your ex will eventually come back are predetermined prior to the breakup. This means that if your relationship with your ex was healthy, fun, exciting, full of adventures, unique, and romanticâyour chances of reconciliation are the best they can be.
As long as your ex thinks fondly of your relationship and the memories you’ve created together as a couple, your ex positively anchored his or her relationship.
So now that your relationship is over, your ex associates positive experiences with you and thinks about them with a tinge of nostalgia.
This is what could slowly mesmerize your ex to appreciate you again. But before that happens, your ex has to process the breakup first and go through the notorious 5 stages of a breakup for the dumper.
Once your ex does, you will probably hear from your ex. You just have to remain strong and follow the indefinite no contact rule.
2)Your ex is insecure
If your ex was insecure and emotionally reliant on you throughout the relationship, then this is one of the biggest signs your ex will eventually come back.
An ex-partner who lacks emotional stability, confidence, and the strength to be on his or her own is essentially a weak-minded person.
He or she basically lacks the fundamentals to take care of his or her own wants and needs. And that’s the reason why an insecure person often unknowingly puts a lot of pressure on his or her partner.
This occurs because an insecure person overburdens his or her partner and expects and wants more than he or she can get.
As a result, the power in the relationship shifts over to the stronger individual and the new relationship becomes imbalanced.
And when that happens, the relationship becomes a ticking time bomb.
So if your ex is insecure, here are the occasions when you can expect your ex to exhibit insecure traits:
- when you start dating someone new and your ex gets jealous
- if you stay true to no contact and portray strength
- when your ex gets dumped or can’t find a boyfriend/girlfriend
- after you’ve become the person your ex didn’t want you to become and your ex becomes envious
3)Your ex is the impulsive type
The third best sign your ex will eventually come back is if your ex lacked emotional self-control throughout your relationship.
This includes your ex acting on impulse, lacking relationship skills, and appearing impatient, frustrated, angry and vengeful.
These are all signs your ex could eventually come back when your ex experiences difficulties in life.
But for your ex to become vulnerable to various external factors, enough time has to pass for your ex to feel your absence and yearn your emotional support.
4)The breakup was amicable
Another great sign your ex will eventually come back is if your breakup was friendly and your ex showed no harsh feelings toward you.
Amicable breakups are usually the most peaceful type of breakupsâas both the dumpee and the dumper show respect toward each other.
And since they show respect, they also appreciate, like, and care about each other.
That’s why respectful ex-couples are often able to reconnect the bond and start a new, healthier long-term relationship.
They just have to have a decent understanding of their own thoughts and emotions.
In other words, they must be emotionally intelligent.
5)Your ex hasn’t improved one iota
Is there a better sign your ex will eventually come back than seeing your ex hasn’t improved one bit?
Why would your ex not come crying back to you when history repeats itself with the next person your ex dates?
Provided he or she gets hurt enough and discerns that you weren’t that bad, your ex would probably come back around. He or she would, therefore, expect you to mitigate his or her fears and anxiety and ask for a second chance.
This request for another chance would come from a selfish place. But your ex probably wouldn’t tell you that. Your ex would likely pretend as if he or she has everything under controlâwhere in reality, your ex is dying on the inside.
6)Your ex hasn’t destroyed your persona
One of the most important signs your ex will eventually come back is when your ex is mature enough to understand the dynamics of the breakup.
And just how your ex needs to understand how breakups work, so do you. This means that you must avoid begging and pleading and portraying insecure behavior so that your ex doesn’t think badly of you.
You must understand that post-breakup mistakes play a huge role in getting your ex back. They are important because your post-breakup persona is very fragile and can easily be altered with a few wrong moves.
All it takes are a few slip-ups and your ex will change the way he or she feels about you. And when that happens, you can kiss your chances goodbye for a while.
You can easily ruin your image in your ex’s eyes by:
- refusing to follow the indefinite no contact rule
- chasing after your ex
- staying friends with your ex
- getting angry, depressed, or plot revenge
- stalking your ex
- begging your ex’s friends and family for another chance
- doing anything your ex doesn’t want you to do
7)Your ex sends you loaves of breadcrumbs
Breadcrumbs from an ex usually don’t mean much as they are typically guilt-ridden.
But when your ex sends you loaves of breadcrumbs and can’t leave you alone to heal and recover, something’s going on with your ex internally.
He or she is most likely going through something challenging and is looking for emotional support.
If that’s the case, you should probably cut your ex off completely so that your ex can deal with life on his or her own.
In so doing, you will also be able to take a breather from all pointless conversation initiations from your ex and recover fully.
So if your ex sends you breadcrumbs incessantly, you can be certain your ex is vulnerable and emotionally disrupted. That’s why breadcrumbs are one of the many signs your ex will eventually come back.
8)Your ex is very curious about you
When your ex appears almost too curious about what you’re doing and who you’re seeing, your ex’s curiosity speaks for itself.
This is especially true if your ex can’t seem to stop pestering his or her mutual friends about youâby wanting to know all the details about you.
You must understand that a person who isn’t particularly curious about you likely wouldn’t pry into your private life.
He or she would instead choose a different topic to talk about after realizing you’re doing fine.
9)You’re back on talking terms
If your relationship with your ex has improved and you’re back on talking terms, then you’ve made great progress with your ex.
It’s especially great if your ex is back to initiating conversations regularly and calls you relationship exclusive nicknames. In this way, you can be certain your ex is starting to develop feelings for you again.
It’s a great sign your ex could come back to you in the future.
The only thing you can’t do at this point is mess up by becoming impatient and try to rush things.
This is especially true if your ex is still dating someone else and it hurts. You must instead remain your ex’s best “backup option” and portray the most desirable trait a person can have in this world.
It’s called confidence.
10)Your ex sees you in a positive light
If your ex said you seem different, such as more mature, fit, positive, self-aware, or attentiveâthis is an amazing post-breakup sign that your ex will eventually come back.
The reason why it’s so great is because your ex’s opinion of you has changed so significantly your ex now sees you as an improved ex-partner.
This indicates that your ex’s thoughts and feelings about you likely evolved to the point where your ex doesn’t compare you to you from the past anymore.
Your ex instead recognizes you as you 2.0 and admires you for the person you’ve become.
And that’s one of the greatest things you can possibly expect your ex to notice.
11)Your ex wants to hang out with you often
The signs your ex will eventually want you back keep on getting more obvious.
If your ex keeps inviting you out and wants to spend as much time as possible with you, it really doesn’t get much better than that.
Your ex once again feels powerful emotions toward you and enjoys your company to the point of “wanting more of you.”
So when you and your ex get so close to each other that you can’t tell if you’re in a relationship, you’re practically nearly there. All your relationship needs from there onwards is that one final push that brings the two of you together once again.
It happened before, it can easily happen again.
Here’s a texting example from an eager ex soliciting your attention.
12)Your ex talks positively about you
The last but not least is the sign when your ex deliberately talks positively about your life.
Your ex could compliment your:
- job or career
- accomplishments
- preferences, such as clothing style, food, hobbies, taste in music, etc…
- post-breakup personal improvement
If your ex tells you or someone close to you that you’re doing things right, he or she essentially likes a particular part of you.
And when your ex likes you enough to share that with others, your ex is very close to liking you even more.
That’s why you must remain extra careful and exude positivityâso that you don’t ruin your image and give your ex a reason to think negatively of you.
By remaining positive, you will continue portraying yourself in the best lightâallowing your ex’s attraction for you to keep developing. It theoretically should, as long as your ex’s focus is somewhat on you.
Do you agree with the signs your ex will eventually come back? Have you noticed any in your ex? Comment below and let me know.
My ex left me about 6 months ago. I’m still not over it. We were together for 2 1/1 years. She even moved states so we could live together. We had, what I thought, was a very good and healthy relationship. She always seemed happy and I was too. She left me saying she wasn’t happy and hadn’t been for a while. She said I hadn’t shown her enough things around the new town and that I was always distant. I do suffer from depression and anxiety and I do have a tendency to disassociate. We had a few arguments here and there, but nothing major. We always (at least I felt) resolved our issues. She recently said our relationship was toxic and that she was terrified of me. I was never physically or emotionally abusive. I always encouraged her to explore new things and follow her passions. When we broke up I wanted us to at least try counseling before the split. But she was set.
She unfollowed me on SnapChat (I don’t have any other social than LinkedIn). She doesn’t talk to me. She won’t even let me see our dog, saying that she doesn’t know if she can ever let me in their lives again. I’ve been doing my best trying to focus on myself. I just hope she comes to terms with things. I was doing so good until a couple days ago. Today hit me really hard. This article helped, but I just needed to get this off my chest.
My ex an I were together for a year and a half. We had a healthy relationship and were always so happy together. We had some arguments but they were never bad enough to end our relationship. About two months ago, he decided he wanted to end things because he said he was unhappy and had been for a while, but whenever we were together he seemed over the moon with joy. What could have caused this so quickly? And is there a possibility we will ever be back together? iâve tried meeting up with him a few times to talk about things but heâs always been short, and he even told me that he has a new girlfriend, after only a month of us being separated! What can I do to get him back? iâm so in love with him and want to spend the rest of my life with him. Please help!
Your break ups are much different than mine was. Three weeks ago my boyfriend of 5 years left me for a younger woman. He was 12 years younger than I and i thought we were in love.This is going to get really weird but a year and a half ago I left him, butnot for anyone, I left because he was very very abusive towatd me! He beat me alot! I finally couldn’t take it anymore and i was always afraid when i was with him. I walked on egg shells around him, but strangely i still loved him very much! I was so good to him, and when he was sick i stayed up all night caring for him. There wasn’t anythng i wouldn’t do for him. Fast forward a year and a half i hadn’t seen him even once! We talked on the phone and texted eachother,but i wasn’t alowed to see him as long as i lived at my parents place.For that year and a half i tried to get him to save money so we could get another place so we could be back together. He always had an excuse as to why he couldn’t save any money and well i wasn’t about to be the one to get the apartment and let him come stay with me when he did nothing to help get it which i am sure anyone would agree right? Anyway 3 weeks ago he met someone and then i recieved a message from him on Facebook saying he met someone and was in love with her! In love with her after just 2 weeks of knowing her? I was devastated! I couldn’t believe he would drop me like that aftre 5 years! He proceeded to tell me that she was his age. So i was dumped for a younger girl đ He wouldn’t tell me who she was or even what she looked like. I wondered if he had picked a better looking girl or not a good looking girl? All these strange thoughts ran through my head, but the one thought that crossed my mind the most was ‘Did he ever love me at all’? That question still haunts me. Five years and he let it go like it meant nthing at all. I am a 45 year old woman who doesn’t look a day older than him and he is 33 and in his mind i wasn’t good enough and because of what happened i think i am not good enough. I don’t even want to move on because now i am insecure and most of all scared! Scared it will happen to me again! I am not gettig any younger and the world is a cruel place for women. If you age just a little bit your no longer worthy of love. You get dumped like trash! I don’t even know what to do? I haven’t contacted him since he told me that,i mean what’s the point? He is onlove with another girl. I guess you can say i am still shocked over it and it still hurts alot but it does get a little bit easier each day. I wonder of i will ever be able to trust in a man again?
“I left because he was very very abusive towatd me! He beat me alot! I finally couldnât take it anymore and i was always afraid when i was with him.”
Anytime you miss this creep.. re-read your above words. He probably despised your lack of self worth but used you up anyway. Love does not beat, instill fear or cause you to be afraid. You dodged a bullet! Run, and keep running! Pining for this guy will stop you from meeting someone who will value you. You could be a codependent.. get free of it.. it’s as strong as heroin to break the addiction. Fly free Butterfly!
Dear Butterfly,
You have had a very bad time of it. However you have been lucky and although you didn’t escape him by yourself, he has done you a massive favour. You are now free. As you say you look younger than your years. Great, now go and sass your ass and have FUN. Men are pigs, men are week, yet some are so blinking marvolus and worth all the effort as they are the diamonds in the rough that only require a little bit of polishing. My late husband was an introvert and loved me dearly. I have since dated an Avoidant and he too was lovely, yet has his problems. I realise now just how messed up l was and how my darling hubby healed me. This is giving me patience to wait for my fella to return. It’s been over 8 long months since l last saw him and we have such little contact.
He might never return to me, which would be a shame as we could be so good for each other. My time apart from him has made me stronger. My heart is full of love for him, and l want what is best for him which is me. I am positive that he will come to me eventually, and l do hope l don’t get so bored waiting that l will be lost to him.
I want to be romanced, taken out, bought flowers. All the great stuff that this ex provided. It is my belief that l l show him ‘that he is not just anybody’ and l wait patiently that he would be more confident in the relationship. My late husband gave me this and l want to pay it forward.
I am surrounded by people who love me, that l love in return, yet the relationship with one’s own man is Devine.
There are 4 attachment style, Dismissive Avoidant, Fearful Avoidant, Pro Active Anxious and Secure.
Look them up as it is an eyeopener. It might help you to better understand yourself which will help your relationships and workplace alike.
I wish you the very best.
Hi, Iâm really not sure in my situation. My ex still loved me very much when we broke up (just over a week ago). It wasnât that he doesnât love me. He is a fearful avoidant and has been battling with depression in his life. He wanted me around all the time and told me only days before our breakup that he wouldnât want to do life without me. He struggled with talking about anything too deep or emotional and quite a few times out of the blue would try to end the relationship when he felt too much pressure to open up or work through conflict. A week ago he started the same cycle again and usually I try to talk him out of it but this time I just got up packed my bag and left without saying a word. I was sick of him sabotaging and trying to run so I just let him. A few hours later I received a text note from him saying it was breaking his heart not being able to be with me but he just couldnât be in the relationship anymore and he so wished it could be different. He said it was due to the affect his relationship and all his other stressors were having on his mental health and he was in a really bad place. I never wrote back to him I read it but did not wrote back or beg him to change his mind. Felt he needed to live with the consequences of his decision this time to realise what he has lost. A week leading up to breakup I was having my own doubts about the relationship due to how draining he was getting from his own issues and he was looking for quite a lot of reassurance I still loved him. I feel he got in first as a typical fearful avoidant. I told him I loved him but feel it was obvious I was starting to question if it was possible to have a future with him. Been together 1.4 years not living together and he told most people I was the one best girlfriend he had ever had. I have heard nothing from him and I havenât contacted him at all either. I never wrote a letter back to him as felt his was a farewell letter after he got triggered. What do you think in my situation?
Hei Megan, I read your comment and it is my situation to a t, except answered his email and we met up once after. He cried, held me the whole time, told me he loved me, he needs to be alone, I’m the best person ever, he can’t be in a relationship, he needs to heal and figure himself out, I’m the only person he can talk to, and he wants to talk to me, but he can’t talk yet, he wants to be with me, but not right now.
I begged him, like an idiot.
That was 9 months ago. I haven’t seen him since except 3 times in passing. Nor have I heard from him. He hasn’t cut his hair in 9 months. He wears my hoodie every day at work for 9 months. Every time he sees me by accident somewhere he pretends I don’t exist.
Let me know how your situation develops. I’m completely lost myself.
My FA is turning 50 in 2 months. But he is an 8 year old inside. I’m a AP attachment myself (34 years), but I have kept no contact except for the one meeting I mentioned right after his running cycle started again.
Best wishes. I hope you’ll find yourself and, if you want, get him back. I’d move the earth for my FA.
Best,
Peaches