Why Is My Ex Texting Me When He Broke Up With Me?

Why is my ex texting me when he broke up with me is one of those questions dumpees torture themselves with. They can’t figure out why their ex would string them along and make moving on more difficult than it has to be.

If you’re one of those unfortunate dumpees and you also want to know why your ex keeps texting you, the first thing you need to understand is that you shouldn’t allow your ex to text you whenever and however he pleases.

Letting your ex do what he wants won’t help you get over your ex. It won’t make you realize your worth either.

It will just keep your separation anxiety high and delay the time it takes to get over the breakup.

So instead of self-sabotaging your health by staying friends with your ex after the breakup, be frank with your ex and tell him that you’d prefer not to speak anymore.

Say that you don’t think it’s possible to be friends right now and that you’ll text your ex when or if you ever change your mind. This will convey to your ex that you respect yourself and that you’re asking for respect and understanding from him as well.

You need to ask your ex for space whether your ex is nice to you or downright cruel. As long as your ex doesn’t see that his texts hurt you, confuse you, or give you false hope, you need to take the initiative and create some emotional distance.

You need to step away from your ex because your ex doesn’t understand that texting is prolonging your recovery.

And try not to worry that your ex will forget about you and move on. The truth is that things can’t get any worse. Your ex had already fallen out of love and won’t fall more out of love if you start looking after yourself by starting no contact.

If anything, your ex will respect you more because you’ll pay less attention to him.

So if you’re wondering, “Why is my ex texting me when he broke up with me,” buckle up. This article will explain why your ex keeps texting you when he’s supposed to leave you alone and let you move on with your life.

Why Is My Ex Texting Me When He Broke Up With Me?

There are a few possible reasons why your ex keeps texting you when he broke up with you. But before you choose a reason (or more reasons) from the upcoming points in this article, you must understand something very important.

You must understand that most exes don’t text their exes because they’re deciding between getting back together and staying broken up.

Most dumpers text their exes because they want something from their exes. Something that only dumpees can provide.

With that in mind, here are 7 possible reasons why your ex keeps texting you when he broke up with you.

1)He wants to be your friend

Most dumpers don’t know how it feels to get rejected.

They have no idea that

• breakups trigger dumpees’ basic need for love and recognition.
• and that a friendship after the breakup is self-torture for dumpees.

Unlike dumpers whose feelings completely disappear on the day of the breakup, dumpees’ feelings increase ten-fold. Their pain starts while most dumpers’ pain ends.

This is what dumpers have a difficult time understanding. They can’t fathom that their ex needs time to detach before their ex can process his or her breakup emotions and rationally decide whether friendship is possible.

So if your ex keeps texting you after the breakup to talk about anything other than the breakup, bear in mind that your ex wants to remain on good terms with you. He wants to be your friend and talk about things friends usually talk about.

If you want the best for yourself and at the same time, avoid the friend zone with your ex, follow my simple advice on how to stop talking to your ex nicely.

There are no tricks and gimmicks in that article. Just a few healthy examples of how to respond to an ex who’s eager to converse with you.

2)He’s asking for favors and support

An ex could text you because he needs your financial, physical, or emotional support. He could also text you for your opinion, advice, or some kind of favor.

You’re probably thinking to yourself, “Why on earth would my ex go to the trouble to ask me for help when my ex has plenty of friends and people he can rely on? Why wouldn’t he just ask those people for help?“

If this is what you’re thinking, you have to understand that your ex can’t (or rather doesn’t want to) ask his friends for help because those people aren’t as close to your ex as you are/were.

You shared an emotional bond with your ex which made it extremely easy for your ex to open up to you. You were his significant other – a close confidante.

And not just some random person.

So if you’re wondering, “Why is my ex texting me when he broke up with me,” the truth is that none of your ex’s friends, coworkers, or family members are intimately close with your ex.

They may be good friends and fun to talk to, but they aren’t people your ex can easily open up to and ask for favors.

If the breakup just occurred and you’re not happy with it, it’s best that you don’t help your ex with his problems. You don’t want to become your ex’s go-to person or you could feel used by your ex.

The point of the breakup is to live separately and take care of everyday tasks and challenges independently. If your ex is now having difficulties because your ex took your knowledge, skills, support, and convenience for granted when he was with you, that’s his problem.

I know it sounds mean, but he needs to understand what life without you is going to be like.

3)Your ex feels guilty

One of the most common reasons why dumpers text their exes after the breakup (send breadcrumbs) is that they feel guilty. They regret hurting their dumpee and being inconsiderate of their dumpee’s feelings, so they reach out via text or social media and directly or indirectly ask for forgiveness.

Unfortunately, guilt isn’t something that goes away right away. Oftentimes, it takes days or weeks to get rid of it. This really depends on what the dumper does that makes him feel guilty.

For example, if he cheats on a girl and leaves her for someone else, he may feel horrible for weeks or months. Maybe even years if he’s unsuccessful at forgiving himself and moving on from his mistakes.

But if he just feels a little bad for causing the dumpee separation anxiety, he may not feel guilty for long. With a little bit of practice, he could forgive himself in just a few days or after the initial reach-out.

So if your ex is texting you in a melodramatic, apologetic manner and keeps asking how you are, it’s highly likely that your ex feels bad for dumping you. Your ex probably reflected on his actions and realized that some or all of his behavior was hurtful.

Here are a few ways your ex could try to breadcrumb you and feel better about his actions.

You can tell your ex feels guilty if your ex reaches out to inquire about your emotional well-being and your thoughts about him. This kind of behavior usually indicates that not knowing how you feel gives your ex anxiety.

Some exes also text and then not reply. Such exes tend to reach out when they feel emotional and guilty—and ignore when they feel better.

4)He feels nostalgic

As you know, humans are emotional beings. We make many decisions when we’re emotional. And it’s the same with exes.

Exes text us and call us when something or someone reminds them of us. That’s when they visualize traveling back in time and miss the good parts of our relationships.

If your ex texted you out of nowhere and your ex appears nostalgic and overly emotional, know that something must have happened to your ex.

Something must have hurt your ex and forced him to look back in time to cling to happy memories/secure times.

The best advice I can give you about a nostalgic ex is to be patient. Don’t tell your ex you’ve been missing him like crazy too and that you’re so happy he thought of you.

As you know, your ex could be missing you only because he’s down on luck and could forget about you the moment he feels better about his unfortunate situation.

5)Your ex is curious about you

I’ve you’ve been following the rules of no contact and proved that you’re capable of taking care of yourself, your absence indirectly helped your ex get through the first two stages of a breakup and made him curious about you.

The power of silence after the breakup essentially let your ex be free and encouraged your ex to think fondly of you.

This is why your ex’s thoughts turned into curiosity and gradually increased to the point where texting you and finding out more about you became irresistible.

So if you see your ex asking you lots of questions and taking an interest in you, know that your ex has made emotional progress. Your ex has overcome relief and suffocation and would like to know how you’re doing, what you’re doing, and probably even if you’re dating someone new.

Whatever you do, don’t mistake your ex’s curiosity for romantic interest. Although an ex being curious about you can mean that your ex wants you back, it can also mean that he just wants to catch up and nothing more.

The latter is far more probable, so don’t get your hopes up too quickly.

6)Your ex is bored

Believe it or not, but boredom is often the reason why exes text their dumpees after the breakup.

Some exes just don’t know what to do with themselves after the breakup, so they text an ex with whom they are/were close to and chat about unimportant things.

About things that dumpees usually couldn’t care less about.

This could be anything from restaurants and tv shows to politics and recent events. It doesn’t matter what it is as long as it entertains them.

It sucks, but some dumpers don’t understand how their behavior makes their exes feel. They don’t know that their boredom is not a good excuse to reach out because it gives their exes false hope and reopens their wounds.

So if you can’t figure out why your ex keeps texting you, consider it a possibility that your ex is bored and that he’s texting you to pass the time.

7)Your ex has unfinished business to discuss

Sometimes exes reach out to discuss unfinished business such as kids, mortgage, finances, belongings, and anything that needs discussing. Your job as a dumpee is to figure out if this is the case so that you can quickly iron out things that are still tying you to your ex.

The quicker you resolve any unfinished business with your ex, the quicker you’ll resume your healing and move on from your ex.

So don’t intentionally delay your detachment process by doing something self-destructive. Something like refusing to give your ex his stuff back and ignoring him.

Always remember that being mean and vengeful won’t inspire your ex to come back (if that’s what you’re hoping). If anything, it will probably just anger your ex and bring a bad reaction out of him.

So again, instead of refusing to cooperate with the breakup, try to do the right thing. Try to give your ex what he needs to move on so that you can also move on.

Here’s a brief recap on why your ex texts you when he broke up with you.

4 misconceptions about why your ex texts you after the breakup

Here are 4 misconceptions about breakups and ex-boyfriends who text their exes after the breakup.

1)Your ex wants sex

Although some guys want to stay friends with benefits, the truth is that most guys don’t. Most guys feel smothered and victimized, and as a result, form negative opinions of their exes.

That’s why they usually don’t feel the sexual drive to be intimate with their exes.

2)Your ex wants you back

Some people think that when an ex texts you that he wants you back. But the truth is that texting is merely the first step. The step after that is apologizing and asking to meet up.

3)Your ex is waiting for you to invite him out (afraid of rejection)

If you think that your ex is waiting for you to invite him out and that it’s your job to make the job easier for your ex, you’re mistaken. It’s not your job to do chase after your ex and embarrass yourself.

You did everything in your power to be with your ex by staying with him until the end. Now it’s time for your ex to put in the effort.

So if your ex regrets breaking up with you and wants you back, rest assured that your ex will swallow his pride and reach out. He’ll do it because staying away from you will cause him pain.

4)Your ex is trying to keep you as a safety option

Although this is sometimes the case, it’d be unhealthy to think that your ex is keeping you on the back burner for no apparent reason. Most dumpers, unfortunately, don’t plan ahead.

Deep inside, they’re convinced that the breakup happened for a reason and that they must stay broken up to be happy.

I hope this article explained why your ex is texting you when he broke up with you. If you have any questions or comments, post them below. Let me know what you think.

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Zan

My name is Zan and I’m the founder of Magnet of Success. I enjoy writing realistic relationship and breakup articles and helping readers heal and grow. With more than 5 years of experience in the self-improvement, relationship, and breakup sphere, my goal is to provide advice that fosters positivity and success and avoids preventable mistakes and pain. Buy me a coffee, learn more about me, or get in touch today.