Should I Block My Ex On Social Media?

Whether you should block your ex on social media is not a simple yes or no question. There are lots of things you should consider before you log on to your profile and block your ex.

Here are some questions you need to ask yourself first:

• what kind of stuff is my ex posting?
• who is it directed toward?
• is it hurting me (giving me hope or taking it away)?
• is my ex messaging or calling me?
• do I hang out with my ex?
• have I tried talking to my ex about my concerns?
• am I obsessing about my ex’s profile/behavior?
• am I dating someone new?
• how does my partner feel about my ex?
• what am I hoping to get out of the breakup (friendship, romantic relationship, acquaintanceship)?

All these questions determine whether keeping your ex as an online friend is worth it and if you should consider removing and blocking your ex. So before you block your ex on social media and send your ex a message that something strange is going on with you, figure out how your ex’s social media makes you feel, how your new partner feels (if you have one), and whether you should take the high road or the road that helps you heal and focus on yourself.

When it comes to keeping an ex on social media, There’s a very thin line between being moral and looking after yourself. The former means that you do the right thing, which is to treat the people you encounter fairly and respectfully. The latter, on the other hand, implies that you treat others well and keep them in your life, but not if their behavior or presence affects you negatively.

If it gives you anxiety or hope, triggers your fears, makes you analyze things obsessively, confuses you, and disorientates you, giving them access to your life (to hurt you) may not be the right thing to do. That’s because sometimes you need to forget about what other people think and do what’s best for you.

For example, if toxic friends talk badly to you or about you, tolerating their behavior won’t make you feel any better, nor will it solve the problem. You either need to talk about it with them or resort to desperate measures. Desperate measures involve cutting people off and not worrying about what they and the people they associate with will think.

I know this isn’t easy to do – especially if you’re used to considering people’s feelings and perhaps even putting their feelings before you, but your life is yours to live. No one should tell you what you can and can’t do.

People who try to stop you from looking after yourself are normally just seeing things from their perspective (think they can no longer benefit from you) and want what’s best for them.

That’s why they sometimes get angry when you treat yourself with kindness and attention and show them they’re no longer a priority in your life.

The same principles apply to your ex. If your ex left you and hurt you, no one says that you need to stay friends and see what your ex is up to on social media. To you as a dumpee, nothing hinders your recovery more than receiving unnecessary updates on the dumper’s life and wondering why your ex is suddenly doing things differently.

Even if you rationally understand that your ex feels relieved and that your ex’s behavior is normal and expected, it’s still extremely difficult not to take it personally and obsess about it. That’s the effect dumpers have on broken-hearted dumpees who struggle to love themselves.

Of course, blocking may not always be necessary as some social media platforms allow you to unfollow or mute your contacts. But if your platform doesn’t allow that or if you can’t deactivate your account for a while or force yourself to stop checking up on your ex, then blocking is your only option.

You may question yourself for a while at first and wonder how your ex interprets the blocking, but this won’t last forever. Soon (probably sooner than you think), you’ll stop wondering about your ex’s feelings and worry only about yours. You’re a dumpee, so you’ll realize that your feelings are much more important.

I’m sorry to say this in case any dumpers are reading, but it’s true. The anxiety dumpees feel is overwhelming and incomparable to the frustration, anger, or guilt dumpers feel. Sure, some dumpers are depressed, but they tend not to suffer the way dumpees do.

They can normally sleep just fine. In fact, most dumpers sleep better after the breakup because they’re finally free of commitment and obligations. Some even sleep with other people.

Besides, even if they’re suffering, they chose to suffer alone, so you must let them. They need to have the space they asked for so they can do what they want with whomever they want.

This post is all about whether you should block your ex on social media during no contact or after. We’ll discuss when you should block your ex and when it might be better to unfollow and/or just leave things the way they are.

When should I block my ex on social media?

To put it simply, you should consider blocking your ex when your ex or the app/site you’re using is making it impossible for you to focus on processing your pain and forgetting your ex. That’s when you can safely and with a clear conscience block your ex and prevent your ex’s ghost from haunting you and resetting your healing.

Blocking has a negative connotation, but sometimes it truly is the only solution to the dumpee’s problem. It’s the right solution when the dumper keeps reaching out time after time and trying to be the dumpee’s friend. It’s also the right solution when the dumper is bitter and wants to ruin your reputation or cause problems for you.

It’s not right to block your ex, however, if your ex is having suicidal thoughts and is in some kind of danger. You may not be your ex’s go-to person anymore, but this is where your moral responsibility outweighs your anxiety, priorities, and your ex’s poor behavior. When your ex is in grave danger, you need to try to talk to your ex and find someone who can help.

This is an extreme situation that most dumpees don’t encounter. Most dumpees see a smothered or emotionally drained ex who seems to be doing just fine without them. Such dumpers shouldn’t be talked to and kept around. They should be shown or told that they’re not welcome as friends and occasional texting buddies.

That’s the only way they’ll stop messing with your brain and let you recover in ways you need to.

So if you’re wondering “Should I block my ex on social media,” know that you should block not when you’re angry with your ex for dumping you, but when your ex is doing something to bring you down or get a reaction out of you. You can block when your ex is deliberately hurting you or when you’ve discussed with your ex the things he or she is doing wrong, but your ex still didn’t do anything about them.

If the platform itself is complicating things for you, you can also block your ex. Tinder and dating websites tend to drive dumpees insane because dumpees can see that their ex is updating their dating profile and actively looking for someone else. That can severely impact their mental health and make them stay obsessed with their ex.

I strongly encourage all dumpees to block their exes on dating apps. In all honesty, they shouldn’t even have dating apps because they should be focusing on getting over their ex rather than keeping tabs on their ex and getting to know other people.

You should also block your ex if you’re dating again and your ex keeps reaching out and interfering with your relationship. Your new partner probably won’t like that you’re talking to an ex (especially to the one who dumped you), so you should cease all contact and block.

Try talking to your ex first. But if that doesn’t work (and you’ve warned your ex to respect your feelings, space, or relationship), blocking may be your only option. It doesn’t matter if your ex hates it or feels offended by it.

Hate and anger are emotions of power and can be dealt with easier than anxiety and depression.

With that being said, here are 7 situations where you should block your ex on social media.

Blocking might make it a bit more difficult for your ex to come back as your ex would have to contact you elsewhere, but sometimes life doesn’t give you any better options. Sometimes you either get your ex out of sight or you keep hurting for God knows how many months.

You could stay hung up on your ex for a very long time and deny yourself the chance of not only feeling better but also finding someone better. This is something most dumpees initially don’t want to hear because they want their ex back more than anything, but there is a better person for you out there.

As perfect as you think your ex was, there are more “perfect” people in the world that are compatible with you. I get that you don’t want to find someone else and that your ex was “good enough for you,” but good enough wasn’t good enough.

Love wasn’t enough for the relationship to withstand the problems you went through individually and together as a couple. It needed a certain kind of relationship mentality and personal maturity.

When should I not block my ex?

You should not block your ex when you learn something about your ex from your friends, when your ex breadcrumbs you once, when you get angry or upset with your ex all of a sudden, or when you need to communicate with your ex about kids, rent, mortgage, finances, or anything tying you to your ex.

Many people will tell you to block your ex right away and to be done with your ex, but if you block your ex just for breaking up with you, it may be too much for you to cope with. You may start questioning your decision when you cool off and realize that you’re not ready to shut your ex out of your life just yet.

Blocking your ex on impulse could result in a loss of hope. And although losing hope is usually a good thing, you mustn’t lose too much hope at once. If you take revenge on your ex, call your ex names, trash-talk your ex to your friends, and block your ex, you could regret it soon.

You may not regret it right away, but you probably will when you stop feeling angry or disrespected and realize that you still love your ex. On average, dumpees need 8 months to get over their ex. If they try to get over their ex by blocking their ex, they normally fail.

They especially fail (and suffer) when they realize they acted on emotions.

Anyway, I suggest that you block your ex if you need to. You need to block your ex if you’re not happy with your ex’s behavior or the way your ex’s ghost influences you on social media. But if you’re just upset with your ex and feel hurt like most dumpees do, then blocking your ex may be unnecessary and counterproductive.

Should I tell my ex I’m going to block him/her?

If you’re on talking terms with your ex or if your ex keeps reaching out, you should definitely tell your ex you’re going to block him or her if certain things don’t change. Your ex should know that he or she is going against your wishes and that you want space and privacy.

If your ex doesn’t respect that, you’ll have no choice but to block your ex and keep him or her blocked until you get over your ex.

So if your ex wants to be on good terms with you and communicate with you someday, your ex will have to do things as you say for now and leave you alone. You’ll have to be the one to reach out if you feel like being friends.

On the other hand, if your ex is being nasty to you, your kids, or your family, then you don’t need to inform your ex of anything. Your ex knows or will know soon enough that he or she went too far and that you lost respect for him or her.

Your ex might not agree with you because your ex could perceive things differently (have a victim mentality), but as long as you think that blocking your ex is the right thing to do, that’s all that matters. You don’t need your ex’s permission to block him or her. You just need to be brave and remind yourself that it’s for your own good.

So don’t hesitate to block your ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend on social media if you absolutely need to. Blocking is necessary when your ex won’t leave you alone to prioritize yourself or when technology makes things difficult for you to heal.

You should block exes who:

• affect your self-esteem
• manipulate you
• don’t listen to you/care about your feelings
• are narcissists or have narcissistic traits

Your life is yours to live. You mustn’t give your ex a chance to pull you close and push you away as doing so will hinder your detachment, recovery, and growth.

What if my ex begs me not to block him/her?

This doesn’t happen often, but if it happens to you, I strongly encourage you to find out why your ex wants you not to block. Is it because your ex is used to having you around and wants to keep you around as a friend or does it have something to do with your ex’s mental health?

If your ex is suffering mentally, you shouldn’t compare your ex to your suffering like we talked about earlier (when we said your ex could be angry and annoyed). In this particular situation, you’re both going through something difficult and should treat each other with patience, care, and respect regardless of whose problems seem bigger.

That’s what it means to be a good human being.

But if your ex doesn’t have anxiety disorders, depression, or some other kind of issues that requires immediate attention, empathy, and support, then you can safely block your ex. Let your ex’s problems be your ex’s by reiterating that you need a lot of time to yourself.

Don’t say you just need a month or two or that you’ll reach out next week if you don’t mean it. But do mention that you wish to not communicate and that you’d appreciate it if your ex didn’t force you to. That will serve as a warning to be mindful of your decisions and feelings and to give you the space he or she asked for.

As a person who was dumped, you’ve got to understand that non-life-threatening situations don’t concern you. You’ve got plenty of your own things to deal with. Things such as separation anxiety, depression, destroyed self-esteem, uncertainty, self-doubt, and fears of your ex moving on and dating someone new just to name a few.

You shouldn’t worry about your ex’s problems if they aren’t endangering your ex’s life.

And the things that aren’t endangering your ex’s life are:

• money problems
• boredom
• curiosity
• loneliness
• stressors
• losing a job/friend
• wanting your help or opinion on something
• and anything that doesn’t concern you as an ex

So when deciding whether to block your ex, see how life-threatening your ex’s reasons for reaching out are. If they aren’t life-threatening for your ex, but they are for you, block your ex. The sooner you stop your ex from hurting you, the quicker you’ll recover and fall back in love with yourself.

If you take the time to figure out why your ex is reaching out, chances are you won’t feel guilty for blocking your ex because you’ll know you needed to block your ex and move on.

What if my ex blocked me? Should I block my ex back?

If your ex blocked your number or your profile on social media, you needn’t block your ex back. Blocking your ex after he or she has blocked you would be pointless. It would be a double block that wouldn’t accomplish anything. Nothing other than making sure your ex doesn’t reach out in the future.

You could, of course, always unblock your ex later, but what’s the point? You may as well leave your ex blocked and let your ex contact you on some other social media platform. Your ex knows your name, so your ex can make another account or find another way to reach out if he or she has a change of heart.

So if you still respect your ex, don’t block your ex instinctually just because that’s what your ex did. Do it only if you’ve lost respect for your ex and can’t forgive your ex for what he or she did to you.

It’s not okay to hold grudges against people as grudges hurt you, not others. But it’s perfectly acceptable not to have respect for someone who broke the commitment and put you through hell.

Are you still wondering if you should block your ex on social media? Did you ever block an ex before? How did that make you feel? As always, leave a comment below the post and we’ll get back to you soon!

And if you have a detailed unique situation to share and wish to discuss it privately, visit our breakup coaching page for more information.