I’ve lost track of the number of times I’ve heard people ask me, “Should I block my ex if I want him back.”
After a little bit of research, I’ve realized that there are two possible reasons as to why dumpees are so confused:
- conflicting information
- feeling hurt due to rejection
These two reasons are the only perpetrators and the main reasons why you as a dumpee may think that blocking your ex to get him back is a good idea.
Unfortunately, you likely won’t get him back this way unless your ex gets hurt so badly, he abandons his pride and finds alternative ways to contact you.
Although this article is written from a female perspective, please note that it applies to both genders.
Should I block my ex if I want him back?
As we’ve already mentioned, blocking your ex and expecting him to come crying back probably won’t happen. The logic behind this devious tactic is equivalent to punching your ex in the face and thinking he will come running after you.
As a wise person, you know this won’t happen. Your ex already has the victim mentality, hence why he won’t like your inconsistent post-breakup behavior one bit. As a matter of fact, blocking him will only solidify his determination to stay broken up with you.
Be your best self!
There are better ways to annoy your ex if you really wish to go down that route. But since you don’t, you better be on your best behavior and not block your ex.
Once you get over your breakup—whether you get your ex back or not, you will be so thankful you hadn’t blocked your ex or done anything stupid. That’s because you will have known you’ve done everything in your power to behave like a mature individual.
As a quick reminder, here are 6 basic rules of no contact.
You may think that blocking your ex shows him you’re moving on and forgetting about your ex, but that’s not the kind of signal you’re sending.
By blocking your ex, you are essentially screaming in pain, showing your ex that he’s gotten to you. And once you’ve shown him how much he’s affected you, your ex may feel incredibly powerful about it.
Not only does your ex already feel empowered by dumping you, but now, he also got a boost of ego knowing you still care. And this is bad because it puts your uncaring, blocked ex dumper high above you on a pedestal.
He’s not hurt, you are!
Don’t try to get even with your ex just because you got hurt when your ex dumped you cold-heartedly. You won’t, can’t, and shouldn’t try to win the battle of who hurt who the most.
In all fairness, your ex had already won without even trying, so whatever you do, don’t try to punish your ex. He may not have delivered the breakup news as efficiently as he should have and he probably gave you some generic breakup excuse. But despite that, you don’t have the right to take matters of justice into your own hands and pretend to be the punisher.
If you do, your ex will beat you to a pulp with his lack of care and his cold, demeaning behavior.
You see, fighting against a person who doesn’t care is mission kamikaze – a suicide plan. So instead of getting back at your ex by blocking him, do absolutely nothing.
Blocking is impulsive
Here’s a question from me to you. How do you know that what you’re about to do is wrong?
Simple. You determine whether your decision is emotional or rational. If you feel that you want to block your ex to get him back out of fear and anger, it’s probably a bad idea.
Anything that isn’t well thought-out is bad when it comes to exes.
- telling your ex you hate him
- contacting his family
- getting romantically involved with his best friend
- blocking your ex
Anything impulsive has absolutely no place in your heart. Such behavior is your worst nightmare so I think you should rather take it out on something else.
But whatever you do, don’t block your ex thinking he will come running back knocking your front doors down. If you do, you will only set yourself up for disappointment.
Ignoring and blocking your ex can make him angry
Tread carefully around an ex that has had enough of you or you could really make your ex mad. Your ex could become so angry, he will do something you will regret.
By acting on impulse, your ex could ruin your chances of reconciliation for you so don’t anger him. Just because you’re on your best behavior post-breakup doesn’t mean your ex is. He’s merely reacting to stimuli so don’t think your ex will play fairly.
If your ex is impatient with you, it should tell you that he’s capable of many things, such as reaching out in anger—which is really, really bad.
Alternative ways around blocking your ex
Instead of blocking your ex on social media, there are ways around it. To prevent yourself from stalking your ex, you should unfollow your ex on all social media accounts (provided he won’t get a notification or be able to see it).
In doing so, you will protect your heart from seeing all unnecessary things you can’t possibly care less about as an ex-partner.
So to avoid regressing emotionally, unfollow your ex off Facebook, Instagram, and anywhere with the possibility to see his new “amazing” life. Do what you can to save yourself the embarrassment and pave your own road to success without any reminders of your ex.
Watching your ex’s every move will hinder your recovery immensely, so put in the extra effort not to stalk and unfollow him instead.
Developing the strength
By unfollowing your ex on social platforms, you will at the same time develop a very useful trait – resilience. Due to strong temptations to stalk your ex, you will inadvertently shape yourself into a strong individual.
Since these internal battles resemble drug addiction, you will develop an amazing strength not just with your ex, but in your life in general.
You will have become resilient to external influences such as drugs and addictions and will, therefore, be able to quit them with ease.
The success of your resilience, of course, depends on your desperation to improve as a dumpee and the wish to move on with honor.
Most dumpees start the no contact rule with the intention to make their exes regret breaking up with them—which should, in my opinion, be only the beginning.
No contact rule should be about moving on first, second and third, and lastly about making your ex see the good in you. Not the other way around.
So develop the strength to follow the rules of no contact down to the T, and I guarantee that you won’t need to block your ex—even if it seems incredibly difficult not to stalk him right now.
I know this theory sounds crazy, but it’s actually a really good way to develop the kind of self-control which is out of this world.
If you take my advice seriously and get past your ordeal the right way, you will feel like a person who has spent ages meditating and getting your emotions under control.
That’s why I urge you not to block your ex and instead focus on your personal growth. You do want to improve as a person, right? If you do, it’s a win-win for you.
Should I block my ex if I don’t want him back?
This is a personal decision. But if you’re like me and you live by strong moral values, then I would advise you to do what is right from a moral point of view. This means you don’t block your ex and gather the courage it takes to forgive and forget. It may not be easy, but it’s definitely the best thing to do as a person of high value.
You should apply this mentality to your broken relationship especially if your ex treated you like dirt – as if you never existed. In doing so, you will automatically be a million times better human being than your ex.
You may not wish to compete with your ex and that’s perfectly fine. Why should you lower yourself to your ex’s level when your personalities are not even comparable, right?
Well, I suppose this varies for each person, but I would personally be lying if I said I never compared my actions to my ex’s. In all honesty, it’s not even that much about my ex but rather about my own karma. My ex merely serves me as a reference on how low not to sink and how to treat my partner with respect.
So when you show your ex that you’re not going to block, ignore, or chase him, you essentially display unbelievably desirable/rare traits. You show your ex what a mature person looks like and at the same time challenge him to find better.
And if your ex does find better, it may not even be better. It could just be a temporary replacement until the same behavioral patterns repeat themselves.
Think and act
If you don’t want your ex back and you’re still angry at your ex for treating you like dirt, then I suggest you don’t block him. Wait a while longer to fully detach from him and his unjust treatment.
On the other hand, if you’re over your ex and you don’t want him back, then blocking your ex is still a silly idea. Why would you block someone you don’t care about, right? What’s the point in that?
Instead, let him pry if he wants to while you enjoy your life to the fullest without him. Blocking him just because it’s over is an emotional decision, not rational. Not unless you convince yourself otherwise and become spiteful to the point where you actually believe what you feel.
Deep inside you know that blocking your ex is not wise, nor is it courageous. More often than not, it’s just a broken-hearted decision that doesn’t really accomplish much apart from angering/annoying or doing absolutely nothing to your ex.
Blocking is an insecurity
If you’re pondering, “Should I block my ex after a breakup,” you need to realize that what you’re thinking of doing is not smart. It’s a mixture of your broken heart and ego taking control over your body with the intention to soothe your anxiety.
Although it may help you feel better in the moment, it won’t help your anxiety in the long run.
That’s because getting over an ex takes a long time and blocking him won’t help you get over him. It will likely just create more doubt and unnecessary “what if” questions.
So pay close attention to your anger once you’re past the initial shock stage because that’s when you’re capable of vengeful things. Things that could make you copy your ex’s demeaning behavior.
My ex blocked me, should I block him back?
Your ex’s lack of interest is impossible to rival so you may as well not resort to blocking even if your ex has blocked you.
You might think it makes you look hung up on your ex, but that’s not true. It shows you don’t care and not caring is good for your post-breakup persona.
It’s also important to note that your ex is blocking you for completely different reasons than you would block him for. Your ex genuinely doesn’t want you around while you are trying to get him to want you.
If you blocked your ex, you’d likely do so in hopes of extorting a reaction out of your ex and get extremely disappointed when you don’t get anything.
Soon after, you’d realize you’ve dug your own grave and wonder whether you should unblock your ex.
So if you’re ever in doubt about blocking your ex, my advice is to pretend as if your ex never existed. In other words, don’t act or react to anything your ex says and does. Not unless your ex talks to you directly.
I’ve blocked my ex, should I unblock him?
You need to be decisive at what you do. So if you’ve already blocked your ex and your ex knows that, changing your mind often won’t look good for you. It would, however, be the only way for your ex to contact you.
That is unless your ex makes fake accounts or calls from his friends’ phones. This happens very rarely, though.
If you’ve just blocked your ex recently, I would advise you to unblock your ex and have your ex forget about your slip-up over time.
But if you’ve kept your ex blocked for months and months, then it doesn’t really matter what you do. If your ex wants you bad enough when something goes wrong, you will hear from him in one way or another.
So if it makes you feel like a better person, go ahead and unblock your ex. You really have nothing to lose by doing so.
The only time when you should block your ex
We’ve already discussed that blocking your ex after a breakup is out of the question. There is, however, one exception and that is when your ex wants to hurt you.
If you receive mean messages, threats and a ton of offensive voice calls, you should first talk to your ex in an empathic way and try to understand his feelings.
If you do, your ex’s anger will likely subside very quickly and you won’t even need to resort to blocking.
But if threats don’t stop and you begin to worry about your own health, then contact the police and block your ex to protect yourself/your children.
The reason why you want to avoid blocking your ex is because blocking and ignoring makes people incredibly furious. Dumpees are especially aware of this so it’s best you try to work around it if possible.
Are you thinking of blocking your ex or leaving him unblocked? Post a comment underneath this article. 👇