Should I Block My Ex If I Want Him Back?

I’ve lost track of the number of times I’ve heard people ask me, “Should I block my ex if I want him back.”

After a little bit of research, I’ve realized that there are two possible reasons as to why dumpees are so confused:

  1. conflicting information
  2. feeling hurt due to rejection

These two reasons are the only perpetrators and the main reasons why you as a dumpee may think that blocking your ex to get him back is a good idea.

Unfortunately, you likely won’t get him back this way unless your ex gets hurt so badly, he abandons his pride and finds alternative ways to contact you.

Although this article is written from a female perspective, please note that it applies to both genders.

Should I block my ex

Should I block my ex if I want him back?

As we’ve already mentioned, blocking your ex and expecting him to come crying back probably won’t happen. The logic behind this devious tactic is equivalent to punching your ex in the face and thinking he will come running after you.

As a wise person, you know this won’t happen. Your ex already has the victim mentality, hence why he won’t like your inconsistent post-breakup behavior one bit. As a matter of fact, blocking him will only solidify his determination to stay broken up with you.

Be your best self!

There are better ways to annoy your ex if you really wish to go down that route. But since you don’t, you better be on your best behavior and not block your ex.

Once you get over your breakup—whether you get your ex back or not, you will be so thankful you hadn’t blocked your ex or done anything stupid. That’s because you will have known you’ve done everything in your power to behave like a mature individual.

As a quick reminder, here are 6 basic rules of no contact.

blocking my ex if I want him back

Yes, you may be following most of the basic rules of no contact while you’re in indefinite no contact, but you’re still breaking rule number 6 – showing you’re hurt.

You may think that blocking your ex shows him you’re moving on and forgetting about your ex, but that’s not the kind of signal you’re sending.

By blocking your ex, you are essentially screaming in pain, showing your ex that he’s gotten to you. And once you’ve shown him how much he’s affected you, your ex may feel incredibly powerful about it.

Not only does your ex already feel empowered by dumping you, but now, he also got a boost of ego knowing you still care. And this is bad because it puts your uncaring, blocked ex dumper high above you on a pedestal.

He’s not hurt, you are!

Don’t try to get even with your ex just because you got hurt when your ex dumped you cold-heartedly. You won’t, can’t, and shouldn’t try to win the battle of who hurt who the most.

In all fairness, your ex had already won without even trying, so whatever you do, don’t try to punish your ex. He may not have delivered the breakup news as efficiently as he should have and he probably gave you some generic breakup excuse. But despite that, you don’t have the right to take matters of justice into your own hands and pretend to be the punisher.

If you do, your ex will beat you to a pulp with his lack of care and his cold, demeaning behavior.

You see, fighting against a person who doesn’t care is mission kamikaze – a suicide plan. So instead of getting back at your ex by blocking him, do absolutely nothing.

Blocking is impulsive

Here’s a question from me to you. How do you know that what you’re about to do is wrong?

Simple. You determine whether your decision is emotional or rational. If you feel that you want to block your ex to get him back out of fear and anger, it’s probably a bad idea.

Anything that isn’t well thought-out is bad when it comes to exes.

This includes:

  • telling your ex you hate him
  • contacting his family
  • getting romantically involved with his best friend
  • blocking your ex

Anything impulsive has absolutely no place in your heart. Such behavior is your worst nightmare so I think you should rather take it out on something else.

But whatever you do, don’t block your ex thinking he will come running back knocking your front doors down. If you do, you will only set yourself up for disappointment.

Ignoring and blocking your ex can make him angry

Tread carefully around an ex that has had enough of you or you could really make your ex mad. Your ex could become so angry, he will do something you will regret.

By acting on impulse, your ex could ruin your chances of reconciliation for you so don’t anger him. Just because you’re on your best behavior post-breakup doesn’t mean your ex is. He’s merely reacting to stimuli so don’t think your ex will play fairly.

If your ex is impatient with you, it should tell you that he’s capable of many things, such as reaching out in anger—which is really, really bad.

Alternative ways around blocking your ex

Instead of blocking your ex on social media, there are ways around it. To prevent yourself from stalking your ex, you should unfollow your ex on all social media accounts (provided he won’t get a notification or be able to see it).

In doing so, you will protect your heart from seeing all unnecessary things you can’t possibly care less about as an ex-partner.

Unfollowing is a good idea especially if your ex is happy in his new relationship or simply happy without you—which coincidentally, makes you miserable.

So to avoid regressing emotionally, unfollow your ex off Facebook, Instagram, and anywhere with the possibility to see his new “amazing” life. Do what you can to save yourself the embarrassment and pave your own road to success without any reminders of your ex.

Watching your ex’s every move will hinder your recovery immensely, so put in the extra effort not to stalk and unfollow him instead.

Developing the strength

By unfollowing your ex on social platforms, you will at the same time develop a very useful trait – resilience. Due to strong temptations to stalk your ex, you will inadvertently shape yourself into a strong individual.

Since these internal battles resemble drug addiction, you will develop an amazing strength not just with your ex, but in your life in general.

You will have become resilient to external influences such as drugs and addictions and will, therefore, be able to quit them with ease.

The success of your resilience, of course, depends on your desperation to improve as a dumpee and the wish to move on with honor.

Most dumpees start the no contact rule with the intention to make their exes regret breaking up with them—which should, in my opinion, be only the beginning.

No contact rule should be about moving on first, second and third, and lastly about making your ex see the good in you. Not the other way around.

So develop the strength to follow the rules of no contact down to the T, and I guarantee that you won’t need to block your ex—even if it seems incredibly difficult not to stalk him right now.

I know this theory sounds crazy, but it’s actually a really good way to develop the kind of self-control which is out of this world.

If you take my advice seriously and get past your ordeal the right way, you will feel like a person who has spent ages meditating and getting your emotions under control.

That’s why I urge you not to block your ex and instead focus on your personal growth. You do want to improve as a person, right? If you do, it’s a win-win for you.

Should I block my ex if I don’t want him back?

This is a personal decision. But if you’re like me and you live by strong moral values, then I would advise you to do what is right from a moral point of view. This means you don’t block your ex and gather the courage it takes to forgive and forget. It may not be easy, but it’s definitely the best thing to do as a person of high value.

You should apply this mentality to your broken relationship especially if your ex treated you like dirt – as if you never existed. In doing so, you will automatically be a million times better human being than your ex.

You may not wish to compete with your ex and that’s perfectly fine. Why should you lower yourself to your ex’s level when your personalities are not even comparable, right?

Well, I suppose this varies for each person, but I would personally be lying if I said I never compared my actions to my ex’s. In all honesty, it’s not even that much about my ex but rather about my own karma. My ex merely serves me as a reference on how low not to sink and how to treat my partner with respect.

So when you show your ex that you’re not going to block, ignore, or chase him, you essentially display unbelievably desirable/rare traits. You show your ex what a mature person looks like and at the same time challenge him to find better.

And if your ex does find better, it may not even be better. It could just be a temporary replacement until the same behavioral patterns repeat themselves.

Think and act

If you don’t want your ex back and you’re still angry at your ex for treating you like dirt, then I suggest you don’t block him. Wait a while longer to fully detach from him and his unjust treatment.

On the other hand, if you’re over your ex and you don’t want him back, then blocking your ex is still a silly idea. Why would you block someone you don’t care about, right? What’s the point in that?

Instead, let him pry if he wants to while you enjoy your life to the fullest without him. Blocking him just because it’s over is an emotional decision, not rational. Not unless you convince yourself otherwise and become spiteful to the point where you actually believe what you feel.

Deep inside you know that blocking your ex is not wise, nor is it courageous. More often than not, it’s just a broken-hearted decision that doesn’t really accomplish much apart from angering/annoying or doing absolutely nothing to your ex.

Blocking is an insecurity

If you’re pondering, “Should I block my ex after a breakup,” you need to realize that what you’re thinking of doing is not smart. It’s a mixture of your broken heart and ego taking control over your body with the intention to soothe your anxiety.

Although it may help you feel better in the moment, it won’t help your anxiety in the long run.

That’s because getting over an ex takes a long time and blocking him won’t help you get over him. It will likely just create more doubt and unnecessary “what if” questions.

So pay close attention to your anger once you’re past the initial shock stage because that’s when you’re capable of vengeful things. Things that could make you copy your ex’s demeaning behavior.

My ex blocked me, should I block him back?

Your ex’s lack of interest is impossible to rival so you may as well not resort to blocking even if your ex has blocked you.

You might think it makes you look hung up on your ex, but that’s not true. It shows you don’t care and not caring is good for your post-breakup persona.

It’s also important to note that your ex is blocking you for completely different reasons than you would block him for. Your ex genuinely doesn’t want you around while you are trying to get him to want you.

If you blocked your ex, you’d likely do so in hopes of extorting a reaction out of your ex and get extremely disappointed when you don’t get anything.

Soon after, you’d realize you’ve dug your own grave and wonder whether you should unblock your ex.

So if you’re ever in doubt about blocking your ex, my advice is to pretend as if your ex never existed. In other words, don’t act or react to anything your ex says and does. Not unless your ex talks to you directly.

I’ve blocked my ex, should I unblock him?

You need to be decisive at what you do. So if you’ve already blocked your ex and your ex knows that, changing your mind often won’t look good for you. It would, however, be the only way for your ex to contact you.

That is unless your ex makes fake accounts or calls from his friends’ phones. This happens very rarely, though.

Should I unblock my ex

If you’ve just blocked your ex recently, I would advise you to unblock your ex and have your ex forget about your slip-up over time.

But if you’ve kept your ex blocked for months and months, then it doesn’t really matter what you do. If your ex wants you bad enough when something goes wrong, you will hear from him in one way or another.

So if it makes you feel like a better person, go ahead and unblock your ex. You really have nothing to lose by doing so.

The only time when you should block your ex

We’ve already discussed that blocking your ex after a breakup is out of the question. There is, however, one exception and that is when your ex wants to hurt you.

If you receive mean messages, threats and a ton of offensive voice calls, you should first talk to your ex in an empathic way and try to understand his feelings.

If you do, your ex’s anger will likely subside very quickly and you won’t even need to resort to blocking.

But if threats don’t stop and you begin to worry about your own health, then contact the police and block your ex to protect yourself/your children.

The reason why you want to avoid blocking your ex is because blocking and ignoring makes people incredibly furious. Dumpees are especially aware of this so it’s best you try to work around it if possible.

Are you thinking of blocking your ex or leaving him unblocked? Post a comment underneath this article. 👇

31 thoughts on “Should I Block My Ex If I Want Him Back?”

  1. My ex came back after he monkey branched me to another girl and came together to threaten me to take off the photos of us from Instagram, I first asked them to leave me alone as those are nothing intimate photos but just block me if they don’t want to see the photos. My ex threaten me to take off the photos and they in the end report my Instagram just because I didn’t let them manipulate. After months they seem to have broken up and he texted me one day just out of blue, but nothing like he’s regret or he feels sorry about his behaviour. I talked bitterly to him like :
    hey, didn’t your gf announced for us that we are not friends anymore? Seems like he’s angry and just said : I don’t want anything from you, bye.
    then I blocked him, I hope that’s a good reason enough to block him?

  2. Hey! I just do not know what to do.
    I am the one who broke up a few times but my (ex) bf does not want to accept it. I would love to be happy together but the problem is he never really puts any effort in our relationship. We are having a LDR and sometimes it frustrates me because he does not call or text me as in the beginning and we can not meet very often. Every time i give him a chance, he promises to do better but it is the same shit all over again. He is only trying when i break up. Should i block him or not? Somehow i do not want him to contact me anymore because this will not allow me to move on with my life but on the other hand i am always hoping he will finally show some more effort.
    Please help!:(

    1. If you love him and want to build a healthy relationship, then you should accept that the LDR is like that…either both of you work harder for keeping each other feel secured (by texting and responding all the time) or you just find the security yourself or it won’t work out. You will in the end just feel jaded and frustrated. block him is not the one way, cuz you will anyways unblock him the next days or three days…
      advice from me who had LDR as well before, use your time at the best, make your life busy, find the best way and balance between you where you both feel content and happy..
      no drama, no emotional, I know it’s hard but you will one day be closer to each other. that’s what you want right?

  3. Hello
    My girl is saying she wants to be friends
    She’s not even showing me up physically
    She only texts sometimes we call each other
    I felt like was she using me and stuff.?
    She recently blocked me everywhere but she texts me only in whatsapp
    What does it mean?
    What should I do for coming out of this friendzone and how do I make her come back?

      1. Hey Zan,
        She says she loves me but doesn’t wants a relationship, what does it mean?
        Also we both keep fighting for small things
        I went no contact but she keeps stalking me in whatsapp
        Though I like her a lot
        She also says she will meet but not like a date what does it mean? She doesn’t even meet..:/
        She shows 10 percent effort and the rest 90 Percent I keep showing up
        She also texts me everyday before no contact has taken place from me.
        Let me know…
        Was she looking for casual and stuff?
        She says she hates the word fwb too. She says her friends I stalk her..
        Do I need to trust her or what do I do??

        1. I would say she’s seeking attention or using you subconsciously or either not… I’ve been through this situationship like you before, He did and said exactly the same thing like your partner. and then it hurt like hell in the end.

          The answer you are seeking is no matter, at least for this moment. If the love is meant to be, in my opinion, you wouldn’t have to put so much effort by maneuvering and chasing after it, it’s just so wrong… A real love shouldn’t make you feel so tired and unsecured.
          If I were you, I’d go to her and make it clear, that you also love her, but you cannot accept this. You won’t give her pressure to have her commitment quickly but neither would you hold on your life for her, just make it clear and then go to no contact until she make up her mind and knows what she actually wants and talk to you like a mature.
          Don’t degraded this relationship and your value.

          Best wishes

  4. We haven’t broke up. But he blocked me in Messanger. So because I feel hurt, I blocked him for a couple of days only, I guess for 4 days, then I unblocked him to only to find out that he still blocked me. It still makes me hurt again and even more, but because of this advice, it makes me realized that it is not a good thing to do. Thank you for opening my mind in this matter. It will not be easy to just ignore him or what he has done. But I am willing to follow everything in no contact. I don’t know if he still thinking of me during this days. But I still hoping that he won’t forget me. I love him so much but we cannot be together because we are both committed and has family. So I guess what he has done is the right thing to do for our family….

  5. I asked my ex to block me evereywhere to help me come over him. After a week or two, he did. Does that mean I’ll never hear from him again?

  6. My ex slow faded me and sent an extremely vague break up text one day which forced my hand to tell him I was moving on and wish him well. I was pretty sad, but I tried to privately gather my composure over a few days and then I said goodbye to the 30ft brick wall he built via message and never heard from him again.

    I kept him on social media for maybe a month, and after a good week of thought, I deleted him from a few platforms (all my accounts are private). I don’t feel like it was impulsive. Do I regret it? No. Do I feel immature? Not really. Will I regret it later? Possibly. I’ll find out someday.

    The thing is, I am a very private person and I am also protective of my children. People on my list I have a relationship with in some capacity and I don’t mind looking into my private life that I post, including what my children are up to. This man wasn’t a friend who floats in and out of my life like a free bird and we catch up on facebook like we haven’t missed a beat every 3 or 4 years. This man was someone who formed a committed relationship with me and then treated me as though I wasn’t worth it to end things properly, so it seemed like he closed his eyes and hoped I’d disappear. I don’t think I would keep any friend on my friend’s list after being treated that way.

    These are some my reasons for deleting him (and a few more which are probably too personal to share here):
    -I want my privacy. I don’t really want him peering into my personal life
    -I don’t want to bother messing with security settings for years to block certain content from him
    -I don’t even want to be tempted to look on his page. It has helped immensely
    -I want to be authentic. I don’t my posts to be influenced in any way with me knowing he can see them
    -We, regrettably, don’t have a relationship of any type
    -I don’t want to kid myself into thinking we have a relationship by keeping him on my lists
    -I don’t plan to use social media to show him how awesome my life is etc to try and win him back
    -I don’t feel the need to be the bigger person by keeping him on my friend’s list. I was open about my broken heart and respectful of his desire for space. I don’t really have anything left to prove, you know?

    I still love the man, but I know I need to move on and he’s not coming back. I don’t badmouth him to my friends or those who I know have a connection to him, and if I saw him on the street I’d be okay giving him a quick polite hello. I just don’t feel he has a place in my friend’s list, and keeping him ON it feels fake to me.

    1. I completely agree with this comment. This is exactly my same reasons for blocking. I decide who and what influences my thoughts and feelings and where my energy needs to be. If a person effects my environment in a negative way, I have to ‘block’ them from my life and/or social media. I blocked as a way of releasing both of us from any negative feelings or ties. If you love someone, let them go…Give them complete and total time and space to figure themselves out. I feel that I displayed love, maturity, respect and compassion by blocking them. I do not agree with this article at all. If I were to stay ‘friends’ on social media, that person would have walked in and out for years if I allowed it. I let them play games, hot and cold with me for eight months and decided that was plenty enough time for me to figure out exactly what this was and was not. I choose to keep my space and and energy field in a positive place.

  7. I changed my number but he blocked me on Facebook. I let go because he used mean words towards me and asked me to never contact him. I changed my number. Will he contact me via Facebook? Like will he unblock me to talk to me?

  8. I ended an on-off relationship for good a few days ago and blocked my ex’s phone nbr (I don’t have social media) and also deleted his nbr. It was an unbelievably hard decision, I can assure you. But what you forget to mention in the article is that sometimes it’s not game playing or because one is hateful but it is self-protection. In the past we’ve (meaning I every time) broken up and got back together because he always got in touch again. And as soon as he texted me sweet things (1 month, 2 months, 8 months later) I forgave him because I really cared a lot about him… Still do… But he has always treated me with little respect and love once he had me back and this has been a very painful experience. So now I had to leave and block him. Thus he has no chance anymore to contact me and I can finally move on… As I know that he would never resort to any romantic deed as for example showing up at my place it is my way of finally getting peace without texts or calls from him that will pull me back like they did in the past… Otherwise great article (even if I don’t want him back). Thanks.

    1. Hi Tanja.

      Thank you for commenting.

      Sometimes it is indeed difficult to break up, but that doesn’t change the fact that the dumper needs to come back for the dumpee if he or she changes his or her mind.

      The dumpee can’t be expected to keep running after the dumper and continue hurting himself or herself after the rejection.

      In your case, nothing’s changed on his end and he only kept coming back to take more from you, instead of to give you his best self.

      Kind regards,
      Zan

  9. My relation with my ex was on and off. She was the one always breaking up with me. I know I have my mistakes but after our recent break up, emotions come running and I blocked her. Usually she would not do things like blocking me when we break up in the past. I may have block her for a week until I unblock her and to my surprise, I was also block in all social media platforms. Weeks came by she deleted all our pictures. Does this mean she is giving up on me? Thanks

    1. Hi Philip.

      I believe she could be giving up on you.

      Your relationship went through many breakups so perhaps it’s for the best?

      Kind regards,
      Zan

  10. Hi, Zan.

    Ive been in no contact with my ex fiance for about 2,5 months. I didnt post anything sad or mean on my social media, just casual staff – happy pics from trips and with colleagues, as I did, before he dumped me. He unfollowed me on Instagram, but remained friend on Facebook.
    I unfollowed him on Facebook about a month ago, when he started actively posting his happy pics and and silly staff and havent stalked his social media since then. Some days ago I randomly noticed I was blocked on Facebook, then I checked Instagram and I was blocked there as well. I found out that before blocking me he was posting songs with sad lyrics (about relationship and missing good old days).
    Why did he block me, when I didn
    t beg, pleed or annoy him at all?

    1. Hi Aurora.

      You didn’t have to directly say or do something to make your ex block you.

      Whilst you were in no contact, your ex kept thinking about you in a negative way and resorted to blocking you due to his victim mentality.

      It was his fragile mind that made him act on impulse and keep you away out of self-protection. So don’t blame yourself for your ex’s behavior.

      It was him, not you.

      Kind regards,
      Zan

  11. Does “blocking” apply to Instagram hiding? My ex and his best friends hid their Instagram story from me 2-3 weeks after the breakup. I hid my story from them at month two because I was checking to see if his friends were watching my stuff (they were, he wasn’t). Should I unhide my story? It’s been about 2 weeks and I expect that they know.

    Thanks,

  12. My ex unfollowed me after six months. Haven’t broken no contact at all. She always liked and watched everything i put up, sometimes being one of the first people to look and like. plus i know that she hasn’t had luck with love since the break up and is not really happy with her situation. She also glances at me when i am out having fun. I always post fun stuff and me being out doing something. Could the unfollow be a cry for attention?

  13. Hi, I’ve unfriended her, she has sent IG friend requests to my impersonal business but I didnt accept.

    But when she messaged me I responded, had a friendly light chat, and told her we probably shouldn’t talk because its not fair to her new guy (reverse psychology)

    2 weeks later she sent a snap chat request, I didnt accept.

    Im back in NC. Is this the same as ignoring if I already showed I would respond to words?

  14. What if he was the one who ended things and immediately blocked me? i don’t know what to do. It seemed impulsive and everything that was discussed during the breakup I believe can be worked on. It’s hard to move on…

    1. My girlfriend of 9 months told me she loved me over the weekend but when we had a disagreement three days later, she dumped me and blocked me on social media + on her phone. She then dumped everything I ever gave her including love letters at my door in a grocery bag. I’d understand this if we were 18 years old, but we’re both almost 60. So reading this post and the ideas noted here, it was the sanity check I needed. Thank you!

  15. Another great post 💪🏼

    After my ex dumped me… I only unfollowed her on Instagram. Then she made her Instagram private.
    I continue posting as I used to… nothing emotionally nor anything about the breakup. Just my usual fun activities as always.

    I totally agree on what you have written. The important point here is… as in all posts… use your brain… think inward or you stop evolving.

    Thank you for another great post.

    Maybe you could do one about short-term relationships? 😊

    1. Hi SCVrush.

      You’re totally right. It’s all about looking inward and discerning whether things are morally acceptable. This is the best way to know whether the things you’re about to do are truly your best option.

      As for the short-term relationship idea, I love it! Thanks for the recommendation!

      Kind regards,
      Zan

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