Is My Ex Happy In His New Relationship?

“Is my ex happy in his new relationship? Why does he look so happy on social media? Is he better off without me?”

If you’re asking yourself these questions and you’re wondering whether your ex is happy without you, I may be able to answer your questions for you.

I have divided this article into two segments. One segment is meant for those who are still in contact with their ex and the other for those who are in no contact.

The two types of happiness

In other posts, we have previously explained two different types of happiness. We have come to the conclusion that your ex is either internally or externally happy.

Here’s a picture explaining internal and external happiness.

Happiness may have external sources, but we can’t say the same for unhappiness. There is no such thing as external unhappiness as all unhappiness is of internal nature.

For example, if your work (which is an external source of happiness) makes you unhappy, you won’t feel externally unhappy. You will just feel unhappy.

Another great example is when you say that you’re unhappy because of external factors, such as drugs and addictions.

It goes without saying that such things directly affect your internal happiness—which coincidentally, makes you (internally) unhappy.

So what does this mean for your ex?

Basically, if your ex appears happy in his new relationship, you shouldn’t interpret it in the worst possible way.

It merely means that his happiness is built on an external foundation and is as a result prone to suffer from a lack of internal happiness.

Normally, this occurrence takes place when the dumper gets to the neutrality stage where he is forced to face reality.

So if your ex is seeking internal happiness from an external source, all you have to do is stand back and let him search for it.

The harder he looks, the more invested he will be. And when his new girlfriend doesn’t emotionally fulfill him, he is going to hurt as a result.

This is the reason why some people never find happiness. They seek it in other people and in all the wrong (external) places.

In search of happiness, they jump all over the place, play the blame game and make themselves miserable in the process.

No relationship is worth settling for and nothing others do is good enough for people who look for external happiness.

Such people can’t find happiness and therefore, can’t fulfill others in return.

How do I know if my ex is happy in his new relationship?

Most dumpees get hurt when they see their ex happy. Just a glimpse of their ex smiling and appearing to be happy is enough for dumpees to sink in depression.

They immediately think that since their ex is having a good time in the moment, their ex must always happy.

Here’s a piece of advice from me to you.

If you see your ex happy, don’t be deceived. It doesn’t matter if he appears momentarily happy or if he actually is.

Everyone has the right to be happy so there’s no need to be envious of that.

If you see your ex happy, remind yourself that his happiness is not caused by your lack of presence, but rather because of his environment.

Tell yourself that your ex is happy because of what’s happening in his life at that moment and leave it at that. No further explanation is needed.

You must let your ex’s happiness be his happiness and your happiness—yours. Don’t try to mix the two or you could end up seriously worried to the point of severe anxiety.

Let’s first find out how you can know if your ex is happy when you’re still in contact with him.

We still communicate. Is my ex happy?

So how do you know if your ex is happy in his new relationship?

If you’re still in contact with your ex, it’s honestly not that difficult to tell as the human face has many ways to shape itself into a happy expression.

According to Mindfood, humans’ facial expressions portray happiness in 17 different ways. Additionally, 5 guises express sadness and anger, 4 show surprise, 3 display fear and only one conveys disgust.

If you take into consideration that there are 17 different ways to tell whether your ex is happy, you will eventually be able to discern if he is truly happy.

The face is not the only indicator of happiness. What your ex’s body says also matters. Is he showing confidence by sitting or standing upright?

Is your ex openly communicating with his hands and body? What about his behavior? Is he energetic or lethargic?

Lastly, pay attention to the actual words. Does it seem like your ex is bragging and living in a fantasy?

Dumpers have a tendency to do that so you can easily spot artificial behavior by listening to him to the pitch of his voice.

Is my ex happy in his new relationship or is he just faking it?

When your ex makes his new relationship look like a fairytale, he’s in the honeymoon stage of a rebound and only sees the positive qualities of his relationship.

Please remember that speaking too fondly of his new girlfriend is a clear sign of over-infatuation. It happens in many new relationships when things are still fresh, so don’t take it personally if it happens to you.

Instead, let him praise his new girlfriend like she’s the manifestation of Mother Mary.

Once his relationship is past the first stages and the excitement ends, the reality is going to sink in. That’s when he will stop faking and overvaluing his new girlfriend.

Some dumpers blatantly display signs of immaturity. They are so vindictive that they intentionally make their new relationship look overly successful.

They go the extra mile to prove that their new relationship is many, many times better than what they had with their dumpee.

So if you get the feeling that your ex is intentionally trying to hurt you, it’s probably for the best that you go no contact.

If you don’t, your ex’s extreme bitterness and vengeful behavior are only going to drag you down and take your worth remaining worth and happiness away.

If this is happening to you right now, you don’t have any choice but to cut him out. Consider it an act of self-protection and start avoiding your ex like the plague so that you can recover.

When your ex behaves either too happy or spiteful, his new relationship probably won’t last long anyway.

He will expect way too much from his new, infatuated girlfriend and will jinx the relationship himself.

I’m in no contact. How do I know if my ex is happy?

If you’re in indefinite no contact, there’s no direct way to tell whether your ex is happy. The strict no contact rule prohibits you from ever finding out about his happiness.

Since you can’t tell what your ex feels and have no clue if your ex-boyfriend is happy or not, all you can do is make observational guesses.

This means that the only way for you to obtain knowledge about your ex’s life in no contact is to stalk him.

Furthermore, it implies that you break the rules of no contact just to spy on him and see if your ex is happy in his new relationship.

So when you decide to stalk your ex, it leaves you with two options. You can stalk him online on social media or offline in life and try to figure out what his emotional state could be.

You can also ask your mutual friends about your ex’s happiness and break even more no contact rules.

I don’t suggest you choose this path as it won’t make you feel any better. Seeing your ex happy is going to depress you and seeing him sad (if by some rare chance you get to see that) is going to give you false hope.

My ex seems happy on social media

Let’s say you get curious and open your ex’s social media. To your surprise, he appears extremely elated with his new partner.

Since he appears to be having the time of his life, you get overwhelmed with anxiety. The gut-wrenching feeling in your stomach makes you want to vomit.

Suddenly, you feel as if you’re back to the day of the breakup as the setback kicks in hard. In other words, stalking your ex’s happiness ends up ruining yours so you soon regret your decision.

If this happened to you after your breakup, you are already aware of the dangers of stalking your ex’s new relationship. If you’re not, here’s what could happen when you cave in to curiosity:

• extreme anxiety and depression
• feelings of worthlessness and loneliness
• extreme nostalgia and regret
• increased heart rate and chest pain
• profuse sweating, trembling
• sudden anxiety attacks
• obsessive-compulsive behavior (overanalyzing)
• acting on impulse

You can avoid these symptoms by not looking at your ex’s happiness. It sounds so simple, yet so hard to do when you’re feeling down.

Say cheese!

Now, just because your ex appears to be happy externally by smiling or laughing at the camera doesn’t mean he’s actually happy.

Most people smile or at least appear to be happy when they get their photos taken. There’s a reason we pretend to do that, though. It’s because we don’t want our gloomy expressions to be overly examined by others.

All we want to do is fit in with society.

Everyone is happy, right? We must, therefore, be happy too! Or so so believe…

In human society, being happy has sort of become a norm, hence why we do it subconsciously—without any awareness.

Does that mean we’re internally happy? Maybe, maybe not… It’s really hard for others to tell solely by analyzing our picture.

A picture depicts how people feel at the time the picture was taken. Although it’s possible to force a smile and genuinely feel happy, that doesn’t mean it has a long-lasting effect.

Nor does it portray happiness before the actual picture was taken.

Camouflaging emotions

Human beings are good at masking their sadness and will, therefore, go to great lengths just to portray happiness.

For instance; once a person has had his picture taken or the event he’s participating in has come to an end, that person will immediately revert back to his unhappy self.

How many times have you seen people’s smiles and laughs return back to neutral expressions right after their photo’s been taken? My guess is hundreds of times.

Other times, they merely rode the wave and used their forced happiness as an incentive to keep smiling.

What you see in the picture is just an illusion—a temporary depiction of “happiness.” It’s not the real person.

Deep inside, he could be bleeding in pain and you wouldn’t know that.

So if your ex is pretending to be happy in his new relationship, he is likely going to give away signs he’s pretending to be over you as well.

If he doesn’t, that’s okay as your happiness is not connected to his happiness.

It goes without saying that your ex hasn’t found the everlasting happiness he’s been looking for since forever. Real happiness is not temporary, but rather long-term.

That’s the reason why rebound relationships fizzle out so quickly. They start out happy at first, accelerate at 20x the speed and eventually run out of juice.

Will my ex come back when his new relationship ends?

Most couples (85%) don’t work out these days and chances are, your ex’s new relationship won’t either.

When and if his relationship falls apart, he might decide to bounce back to his safety net. That safety net could be you or one of his previous exes.

Nobody knows who that person could be, but usually, it’s one of his recent exes.

Jumping in a new relationship with one of his exes is the easiest way for your ex to restore his diminished validation and the need to be in a relationship.

Lies and more lies

Did you know what people lie about the most? It’s not how successful or how rich they are.

People lie the most about the answer to the question “How are you?”

Most people automatically reply with “I’m good” or “I’m okay.” Very few actually express themselves openly and truthfully.

This is because of the aforementioned fear of being deemed as a misfit.

People want to connect with one another so they lie about their feelings all the time. Everyone wants to feel as if they fit in society.

Another way to prove this thesis is when people desperately try to act or behave similarly to the person they wish to impress.

So if a person likes chess, the person talking to him will often mimic his taste in hobbies to appear more appealing.

Your ex is doing the exact same thing when he pretends to be happy.

Only your ex knows if he’s happy

I personally can’t tell you whether your ex is happy in his new relationship. I also can’t say if he’s unhappy. Nobody knows that but him.

You’re probably hoping he’s unhappy in his new relationship so that he would come back to you. If you are, I don’t blame you one iota.

Although unhappiness in his current relationship is what it takes for you to get back together with your ex, I wouldn’t put too much hope on it.

It’s really not worth your own happiness by living in the past.

All you have to do is focus on your own happiness and your life will be as great as it can be. Your well-being wasn’t dependent on your ex before you met him and it shouldn’t be after either.

Anyway, observing your ex post-breakup and trying to figure out where he’s at emotionally is going to be difficult most of the time. All you will see is just an illusion—a fake image.

So before you embark on a quest to seek happiness from your ex, you should first remind yourself of the following.

I can’t know if my ex is happy by:

• comparing myself to his new girlfriend
• observing him externally (looking at his pictures)
• reading chats on social media
• asking my friends for opinion
• not having frequent contact with him

The only way to tell what a person is like and what he feels is by observing him consistently in person, time after time.

But if you can’t see your ex in person, try not to worry!

Not being able to see your ex actually makes things a lot easier for you. His absence saves you from unnecessary false hope and coincidentally, prevents you from causing any drama.

Sometimes, your friends or people that know him can tell you whether he’s happy. And other times, you will just have to wait for his new relationship to progress.

Do you think your ex is happy in his new relationship? Does his happiness make you sad? Let me know what’s on your mind by leaving a comment below.