Does Absence Make Your Ex Miss You?

If anything makes your ex miss you, it’s definitely absence. Absence shows that you’re focusing on yourself and that you don’t need your ex as much as he or she thinks or may have thought.

Absence (which is space and time away from your ex) is the only thing that can make your ex question his or her perception of you and the decision to leave you.

That’s because the lack of your presence makes your ex experience the good and the bad aspects of being single and dating other people.

Don’t get me wrong. Absence alone doesn’t make your ex come running back. But it does create enough room for negative post-breakup emotions to wane and curiosity to develop.

The longer your ex thinks about you and the harder a time your ex has distracting himself or herself and enjoying life, the more likely it is that your ex will feel lonely or nostalgic and reach out to see how you feel.

Of course, the reach out could only be a breadcrumb (a message that intends to find out how you’re coping with the breakup and appease guilt), but absence can certainly make your ex miss you. It can make your ex want to communicate with you, befriend you, or be with you romantically.

What you need to understand is that there are two different types of how an ex can miss you.

The first type of missing is when an ex misses you as a person or a friend. This is the most common type of nostalgia dumpers experience after the breakup as it typically hits dumpers when they start feeling bad for breaking their ex’s heart and hurting their ex.

The second type of nostalgia is romantic missing. This kind of craving occurs when dumpers fail to find what they’re looking for and/or experience some kind of unpleasant event or emotion.

An unpleasant emotion can be anxiety, sadness, depression, pain, loneliness, shame, or even guilt. Anything powerful, negative, and thought-invoking can trigger sentimental yearnings. Just keep in mind that when dumpers come back strictly because of guilt, they almost always leave again. They obtain their ex’s forgiveness so they stop feeling emotional.

In other words, they stop mistaking guilt for love and lose interest.

Therefore, you want your ex to miss your personality and the bonding and not just because he or she has hurt you and feels bad for leaving you. You want your dumper to realize that you’re his or her best and only option and that you’ll move on if he or she doesn’t return soon.

It’s the lack of information and feelings on your side and the confidence you exude that impress your ex and make your ex miss you. So don’t think that you must prove your worth by displaying your abilities, traits, or commitment.

Instead, remember that your ex has lost feelings and trust in the relationship and that if you try to convince your ex to give you another chance that you’ll reveal desperation for love and unwillingness to move on.

You’ll essentially trap your ex, make your ex want to run away faster, and receive another unwanted response (possibly a rejection) that makes you crave love from your ex even more.

So if you want to know whether absence makes your ex miss you, know that it can. Absence can affect your ex in a myriad of ways that trigger regret. But sadly, absence alone is seldom enough for an ex-partner to experience regret and fear. The dumper is much more likely to become afraid of being forgotten and replaced if something bad happens to him or her.

Something that affects his self-esteem, purpose, and direction in life.

Then why do they say that absence makes the heart grow fonder?

Absence makes the heart grow fonder in a romantic relationship. It can create curiosity and feelings of longing that make couples miss each other and want to be together very badly. In breakups, on the other hand, ex-couples still get curious about each other, but they tend not to feel any romantic cravings.

At least not dumpers because they’re detached and don’t see a future with their ex.

Unlike dumpers, dumpees are the ones who feel anxious and depressed. Most of their anxiety is created by separation anxiety, uncertainty, a lack of love hormones, and the fear of the unknown.

Always remember that absence (aka space) is the most important part of the breakup. Your absence gives your ex a chance to go through the breakup stages for the dumper, which allows your ex to think rationally.

But despite absence being so essential, keep in mind that it’s merely the first step to reconciliation.

Your ex will still need to process the breakup, hit a snag, reflect, realize your worth, become regretful, and get back in touch with you. You won’t be able to rush the process because most of it is out of your control.

The topic of this article revolves around the question, “Does absence make your ex miss you?” We’ll go into detail about the effects absence can have on your ex and what you can do to increase the chances of reattracting your ex.

Does absence make your ex miss you?

Absence can make your ex miss you. It has caused millions of dumpers to miss their exes and regret their decisions. But before you pin your hopes on absence, know that it doesn’t make all exes miss their dumpees. Many dumpers are so done with the relationship that they resent their dumpees and avoid them like the plague.

Such dumpers need much more than just a bit of space to miss their ex. They need to go through some kind of painful experience that is worse than the relationship they were in with their ex. That is often the only way they can compare the two experiences side by side and conclude that they were happier and had it easier with their ex.

Also, occasionally dumpers don’t need to go through a more difficult experience. But they do still need to suffer after some time has gone by so they can let go of the pain or problems they encountered in the past and think that their new problems are bigger.

The more they suffer and the less prepared they are to handle their problems, the more likely it is that they’ll want to confide in someone they were once close to and felt supported and loved by.

This means it’s not just absence that makes dumpers miss their dumpees. It’s anything from negative experiences and comparisons to (emotional) health, loneliness, and failures in romantic relationships.

If your ex is perfectly happy, he or she probably won’t miss you or miss you enough for love to redevelop. The same is true if your ex is incapable of reflecting and processing anger or resentment. Your ex needs to be mature enough to understand his or her flaws and mistakes to let go of the past.

That’s why I strongly encourage you not to think that just a little bit of absence is what your ex needs. No contact is vital, but much more needs to happen for the dumper to miss you romantically and come back. Your ex has to go through certain detachment stages before he or she can become nostalgic and wonder what and how you’re doing.

You must let your ex have the freedom to enjoy his or her new life while you prepare yourself for your ex’s first text or call. By “prepare,” I mean that you must recover emotionally and detach to the point where you can handle any kind of message from your ex.

Especially a bad one.

Lots of dumpers reach out to their ex. But sadly, many of them string their ex along. They want to be texting buddies, so they contact their ex only when it’s convenient for them. To feel something for their ex, they must usually engage in introspection, followed by retrospection.

With that said, here are 6 situations where absence can make your ex miss you.

Now that you know that certain conditions must be met for absence to make your ex miss you, I suggest you work on losing hope. This is important so that you regain your emotional independence and get ready for your ex’s reach out.

What should I do to make my ex miss me during no contact?

Your ex will find you way more attractive if you stick to the rules of no contact. These rules don’t just say no texting or calling, but also no liking your ex’s social media pictures, posting braggy/depressing comments, and asking your ex’s friends about your ex.

You must give the impression that you’re strong and resilient and that you’ll be okay no matter what your ex does. Strength and confidence are the two most desirable traits by men and women all over the world. So portray yourself as a high-value individual even if you’re hurting and want your ex back very badly.

I know it’s hard not to be with a person you love, but now that your ex rejected you, you must stay in control of your actions and reactions. You may not be able to control how you feel, but that’s why you have to start no contact and let your absence speak for you.

You must convey the message that you accept the breakup and that you won’t try to change your ex’s mind. Your ex will know you respect yourself if you stay away from him or her and enjoy your life.

How will your ex know that you’re enjoying your life?

Your ex will either check your social media and see that you’re moving forward or your ex will see that you’re not reaching out and interpret the silence as strength.

Either way, your ex will eventually notice that you haven’t reached out and that you must be doing okay on your own.

So whatever you do, don’t think that you must publish tons of posts on social media and try to make your ex jealous. You just need to stay away from your ex long enough for your ex to understand that your life doesn’t revolve around him/her.

Having said that, here are some things you can do to increase the chances of making your ex miss you during no contact.

• Improve your shortcomings
• Surround yourself with friends and family
  Stay busy
• Live your life
• Be positive
• Occasionally publish your achievements, goals, and happy moments on social media (don’t overdo it)

The power of silence after the breakup will help your ex cool off (if you had an explosive breakup) and let your ex deal with unwanted thoughts and emotions. It won’t fix the problems, but it will give your ex time and perhaps even a chance to get hurt and think about you.

When that happens, you can expect to hear from your ex. Silence can make your ex miss you as long as your ex is mature, self-aware, forgiving, open-minded, or willing to become all these things.

Does absence make your ex miss you if your ex is dating someone else?

Whether your ex misses you strongly depends on your ex’s personality, maturity, the quality of his/her relationship with you and the new person, and most of all, how happy your ex is after the breakup. If your ex’s new relationship is okay, it probably won’t make your ex miss you.

It will instead make your ex see that the new relationship is similar to the previous one.

Also, if your ex just got into a new relationship, your ex can’t miss you right away. He or she is going through the infatuation stage of a new relationship and desires his or her partner more than anything in this world.

Absence will make your ex miss you when something goes wrong in your ex’s new relationship or when your ex gets tired or used to dating the new person. Disagreements, repetitiveness, and a lack of gratitude could incentivize your ex to think about the good times from the past and cause him or her to crave certain parts of your personality.

In other words, if things go awry for your ex, your absence could make your ex crave what his or her new partner doesn’t have. Your job isn’t to compete with the new person but to remain secure, preserve your value, and let the new person make mistakes and fail to maintain the relationship.

There’s no guarantee that the new man or woman will fail miserably or be highly incompatible with your ex, but that’s what makes breakups so unpredictable. They’re 90% out of your control.

It sucks that they’re like that, but your chance to impress your ex was when you were still with your ex. Now it’s the new person’s turn to impress your ex.

If that person fails to do that, your ex might return to you or just move on to someone else.

What do you think? Does absence make a man/woman miss you? What do you think causes nostalgia? Let us know in the comments section.👇

And if you’d like to talk with us about ways to make your ex feel your absence, sign up for coaching with us.

Zan

My name is Zan and I’m the founder of Magnet of Success. I enjoy writing realistic relationship and breakup articles and helping readers heal and grow. With more than 5 years of experience in the self-improvement, relationship, and breakup sphere, my goal is to provide advice that fosters positivity and success and avoids preventable mistakes and pain. Buy me a coffee, learn more about me, or get in touch today.