Is it possible to attract your ex back with the law of attraction? Can you use the laws of the universe to appear attractive to your ex and make your ex feel something for you again?
You certainly can. But we’re not talking about the kind of law of attraction where you sit at home, analyze your ex’s social media, and feel sorry for yourself. This isn’t the law of attraction that will manifest your ex back into your life
All mindless obsessing will do is put your ex high up on a pedestal, slow down your detachment process, and delay the time it takes to fall back in love with yourself.
If you’re going to use the law of attraction to attract your ex back, you need to erase all the hopeful “too good to be true” advice you’ve come across online and even in books. Various resources may instruct you to visualize your ex coming back and making you feel good. They may also say you should keep your ex close to your heart and imagine how great it felt to hold your ex in your arms.
But if you do that, I promise you that you’ll be doing the opposite of what you’re supposed to be doing with your post-breakup life. Instead of detaching from your ex, you’ll be attaching yourself to your ex. This will have a poisonous effect on your overall health and well-being as it will force you to stay in denial for a very long time.
So don’t just imagine your ex running back to you and everything magically working out for you. Thinking of your breakup situation like that may feel good because hope and denial always do, but they won’t tell the universe that you’re the right person for your ex and that it needs to bring your ex back because you’re the right person for your ex.
Obsessive thoughts and unrealistic hopes that are out of your control don’t effect your ex and won’t manifest your ex back into your life. The only person ex-thoughts and ex-dreams will affect (negatively) is you because you’re the one producing them. You’re giving them the energy to exist, so you’re pushing them deep into your subconscious mind and staying hooked on your ex.
Now that you know that obsession and desperation won’t attract your ex back, let’s discuss how you can attract your ex back with the law of attraction the right way – through detachment.
What is the law of attraction?
The law of attraction (LOA) states that we attract like-minded people. We connect with people who are on the same page as us as such people agree with what we’re saying and doing. They value the same things (at least initially) and like the way they feel around us.
But when it comes to exes, the law of attraction is a bit more complicated than that. Our exes are no longer on the same emotional wavelength as us as they’ve broken up with us. They’ve thought a lot of negative relationship-destructive thoughts, so they’re unwilling and incapable of desiring our affection.
As long as they’re processing the breakup and interested in doing their own things, they don’t think fondly of us and want to reconnect with us. Dumpers live in their own world, meaning that nothing you say or do will reattract them. You won’t be able to do it whether you beg them, ask them nicely, pretend you’re doing great, or play jealousy games.
When dumpers are done with you, they’re done for good. They don’t want you around and can’t fall for tricks and gimmicks. They just want to focus on themselves and disassociate from you completely.
So what do you do? How does the law of attraction work then?
The law of attraction will help you reattract and reconnect with your ex when your ex is ready to be reattracted. It will help your ex see your worth when you show your worth, exude confidence, repair your self-esteem, achieve things in your private/romantic life, and have something your ex lacks, wants, and craves.
That’s when the law of attraction will pull your ex toward you and make your ex desire a connection, reassurance, love, and/or safety.
Most LOA believers think that if you want your ex back that you must prove how badly you want your ex in your life to some supernatural law of attraction being in the universe and that that being will shoot cupid arrows at your ex and brainwash your ex into loving you. But that’s not how the law of attraction works on an ex.
I’m sorry to break it to you this way, but the law of attraction doesn’t care what you think and feel about your ex. Just like karma, it plays no favorites. If you think it does, you’re in for a rude awakening. One that could leave you hurt, obsessed, and disappointed.
LOA rules for getting an ex back
First of all, you’ll never get your ex back with the law of attraction if you don’t understand breakup dynamics and what your ex expects and needs from you. If you just keep telling your ex what you want and expect, you’ll just pressure your ex and ruin your ex’s perception of you.
So before you learn about LOA, learn more about breakups. Learn both rationally and emotionally that your ex needs space and time to deal with negative breakup emotions before your ex can find anything about you attractive. You have to understand that your ex already knows you as a person.
He or she was very close to you throughout the relationship and, therefore, can’t be tricked into getting back with you. If you play jealousy games, push-pull games, or pretend you’re doing great, you’re probably just going to annoy your ex because your ex will see right through you.
It’s unethical and hard to fool someone who knows you on a romantic level. So don’t think of the law of attraction as a means of convincing your ex you’re someone you’re not. Dumpees need a minimum of 2 months to make personality changes. Most of them don’t notice any changes until they get into a new relationship.
With the law of attraction, you can manifest love, health, happiness, and anything you desire. But to manifest something good, you must first become “someone good.” Only then can you attract an individual you’ll resolve relationship matters with swiftly and calmly.
If you’re a reactive person for example and don’t work on yourself, it probably won’t matter who you attract into your life because your behavior will bring out the worst in your romantic partner. It will trigger his or her fears, anxiety, anger, or the need to defend himself or herself and cause difficulties and maybe even another separation.
To attract your ex back with the law of attraction, the most important thing you can do is work on yourself and resolve your recurring issues. There will be no reattraction if you don’t fix the issues that broke you up. And if your ex does come back just because of pain or some other problem, chances are that he or she will leave again when old issues resurface.
So improve yourself and by doing so, increase the frequency at which you vibrate. Your ex will find you much more attractive if you feel confident in your shoes, communicate better, and deal with problems maturely.
You won’t attract your ex or keep your ex attracted if you appear desperate, hurt, vengeful, and develop trust issues. These things will scare your ex and/or perhaps even repulse him or her.
Your heart probably tells you to beg and plead with your ex and do all sorts of hopeless things, but you’ll never get the results you’re hoping for if you think that the law of attraction requires you to stay attached to your ex and take the initiative with your ex.
LOA works alone. Your interference would be unnecessary and counterproductive as it would force your ex to feel unpleasant emotions. The purpose of LOA is to accept the breakup immediately. Resisting it will achieve the opposite results. This means more separation anxiety and pain.
How to get your ex back with the law of attraction?
Everything in the universe is made of energy. Plants, rocks, items, animals, people, and planets are made of molecules that vibrate at a certain frequency.
The law of attraction states that like, attracts like. This means that you and your ex were once on the same vibrational level. At some point, you got attracted to each other and stayed on a similar wavelength for a while. Unfortunately, somewhere along the way, you desynchronized and couldn’t find a way to get back on the same level.
That’s why you broke up and had no choice but to pursue things and people you were better suited for.
When I say that you desynchronized, I don’t mean that you stopped being compatible. All I mean is that you stopped investing in the relationship and invested more time, energy, and thoughts in yourselves. That led to an emotional separation and exhaustion.
Okay, but how do I attract my ex back with the law of attraction?
To attract your ex back with the law of attraction, you need to start vibrating at a higher frequency. The higher the frequency at which you vibrate, the higher your chances of catching your ex’s attention will be.
There are many ways in which you can increase your vibrational frequency.
Your vibrational strength comes from within, which means you must change how you feel about yourself and how you interact with others. This can be achieved through the following things:
- meditating
- practicing positive affirmations
- helping those in need
- becoming a stronger, healthier, and happier person
- doing the things you love
- becoming more ambitious
- developing self-awareness
- controlling your impulses
- improving your shortcomings
- caring for the elderly, children, animals
- and much much more
Some of you have seen The Secret, a documentary movie back in 2006 or perhaps you’ve heard of the book with the same name. The franchise reinforces the idea that human beings are capable of achieving anything we set our minds to. We can achieve great things by wishing for something really, really badly.
One thing The Secret doesn’t mention though is that merely wishing for things to happen doesn’t bring about any results. Wishes are just wishes. They are essential, but they’re merely the first step in getting closer to our destination.
What matters just as much is that we take action after we’ve learned what we want.
The more we want to achieve something, the more positive energy we should put into
This doesn’t suggest that we must actively try to reattract our ex but that we should invest in parts of ourselves that we, our ex, and other people would find attractive. In other words, we should strive to become the best version of ourselves.
If you were expecting to hear some kind of advice that would get you directly entangled with your ex, you probably expected too much. You hoped you could say or do something that would bring your ex back, but that’s not how breakups work.
You need to understand that as a person, there are certain things you lack control of. Some of those things are your ex’s thoughts, feelings, and behavior.
You can’t help your ex change negative perceptions of you, but you can do your best to improve yourself in as many ways as you can so that your ex can notice your growth when he or she is ready. And your ex will be ready when bad things happen to your ex (when your ex gets hurt and realizes your worth).
That’s when your ex will reach out to you and feel more interested in you than ever before.
To make the law of attraction work, you must allow your ex to do what he or she wants with whomever he/she wants. This is called the law of allowing. It permits your ex to be the person your ex is so that your ex can think and feel what he or she wants. You mustn’t force your way into your ex’s life because that would backfire on you.
Be careful of what you wish for
It’s okay to want your ex back. But if you decide to visualize your ex coming back into your life, you could end up hurting yourself. You could stay brokenhearted and extremely dependent on your ex for validation and help.
This is especially true if the breakup is fresh and your emotions raw because that could make you fixate on your ex.
So if you want to get your ex back with the law of attraction, don’t assume that you must send a message to the universe about wanting your ex back. Sending anxiety out into the universe is just going to give you anxiety back because that’s what you’re going to focus on.
So instead of making things difficult for yourself, gain control over your thoughts and accept the breakup. It will show your ex that you’re strong and independent enough to move on and that if your ex doesn’t see your worth that someone else will.
The law of attraction is about rebuilding yourself and coming out stronger so that you’re better prepared for future relationships and breakups. You need to send positivity and detachment into the universe because that will give you positive results back.
So no matter what your ex said to you or who your ex is dating now that the relationship has ended, don’t deliberately think about your ex 24/7 and do nothing with your life. Now that it’s over, you have to figure out what went wrong and improve yourself.
You must increase your value as a person so that you can have a better relationship with your ex or someone else. Do that by writing down your shortcomings, reading self-help books, and becoming a better person.
Meditation
Meditation can help immensely when it comes to attracting your ex back with the law of attraction. Meditation can be effective because it allows you to relax and detach must faster than waiting.
So start by meditating twice a day for 10 minutes. It will probably be difficult at first, but the more you do it, the easier it will get.
There are many ways to meditate. Here are some simple tips that might make the job easier.
- Sit on a chair, floor, or anywhere comfortable.
- Inhale and hold your breath for 5 seconds.
- Exhale for the duration of 7 seconds.
- The key is to focus on breathing. Feel the air flowing in and out of your lungs.
- Calm your mind by staying focused only on meditation. If you get distracted, resume.
Positive affirmations
Practice positive affirmations throughout the day to get rid of anxiety and stay in control of your body.
Do that by learning how staying positive is good for your well-being and why you have to let the law of allowing do its magic.
You can think of affirmations or say them out loud:
- I didn’t want to break up, but the breakup needed to happen so my ex and I could learn some important lessons.
- I’m in pain, but I’m also learning and improving a lot.
- I can feel myself detaching from my ex.
- Each day is getting a little bit better. I can notice that I’m getting stronger.
- I’ve already grown so much since the breakup. I’ll continue to do so.
- I’d like my ex to come back, but if that doesn’t happen, I’ll be okay! Life goes on!
- Life is too short to waste it on my ex. I’m moving on.
Gratitude
Another great way to raise your value and attract your ex back is to start being grateful for the things you already have. That may not seem effective right now because your ex is set on leaving you, but it can affect your ex when life gives your ex lemons and makes your ex curious enough to check up on you.
When that happens, your ex will see that you’re happy with how your life turned out and that romantic relationships don’t define your worth as a human being. They just spice your life up.
So be grateful for everything and anything in your life. Express gratitude for the food you eat, the friends and family you spend time with, your health and education, and everything you’ve accomplished so far.
Each and every day is an opportunity for you to show gratitude for the things many people take for granted. You can practice gratitude by carrying a gratitude journal with you. In the journal, write a couple of sentences daily about why you’re happy to be alive and how you’ve managed to share your gratitude with someone else.
By being grateful on a daily basis, you will change your perception of yourself and develop a habit of being grateful. As time goes on, you’ll also start seeing yourself as a happier and perhaps even luckier person. Who knows? But do this right and you’ll begin to attract like-minded people into your life.
Do this with enthusiasm and you might even attract someone better than your ex. That’s because you’ll also develop an understanding of what you want and don’t want in your life.
Gratitude can change people and attract individuals with similar values.
Using the law of attraction to attract your ex back
One cannot attract that which he is not. If you think your ex is prettier, richer, more successful, or out of your league, you need to know that you’re sabotaging yourself. You’re making your ex into someone you don’t deserve and lack the mentality to be with.
So remember that you can only attract your ex back with the law of attraction if you’re confident in yourself and your self-worth. When you are truly happy with who you are, your ex will notice that you radiate positive energy.
It’s not a guarantee, but if you keep being your best self, your ex should eventually see that you’re not a threat to his or her happiness and reach out to you. Of course, your ex might just be curious about your new life and stop reaching out afterwards, but at least your ex will think you’re worthy of respect.
So if you’re planning on using the law of attraction to attract your ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend back, remember that before you attract your ex, you must become worthy of attracting your ex. This means you must view yourself as a worthy individual and give your ex enough time to do the same.
If your ex gets himself or herself in a pickle, your ex will likely reach out to you because you’re the person your ex bonded with recently and used to rely on. But if your ex has a good coping mechanism and support system, then your ex might not reach out to you.
He or she could just continue moving on no matter how hard you try to get your ex back.
The law of attraction is not working!
The law of attraction can take a lot of time to work. Don’t expect your ex to come back in a few weeks because a few weeks aren’t enough time for your ex to process the negative emotions caused by the breakup. Your ex will likely need months or longer to do that.
It’s hard to say how much time your ex will need to realize your worth as every dumper goes through different post-breakup experiences, but you must be prepared to give your ex as long as it takes. Even if it takes years.
Hopefully, you won’t stay broken-hearted for years and will eventually let go of your ex, but take my advice and start letting go of hope and preparing for the worst. If you accept the breakup and prepare for the worst, you’ll be in the most attractive position you can be in.
That’s because you’ll be confident and won’t consider your ex to be someone you can’t live without.
You’ve probably come across the no contact rule already. If you have, you know your ex can’t be reasoned with because your ex feels victimized and convinced that the breakup needed to happen. The only way your ex will come back is if something affects your ex’s belief system and changes his or her perception of you.
That something could be another breakup, anxiety, depression, a loss of a job, deep reflection, or some kind of failure. You have to wait for something bad to happen to your ex so that the law of attraction can make you look shiny in your ex’s eyes.
Did you enjoy reading this article? Have you tried getting your ex back with the law of attraction? Comment below. and let me know.
And if you’d like to discuss the law of attraction with us, get in touch with us here.
Good advice. The Law of Attraction is in a way a lot like praying. It’s a good thing to pray if you are a believer, but you have to take actions too. We are all given tools to help ourselves. You can’t just sit back and expect the Law of Attraction to do the hard work for you.
My break-up really hit me like a ton of bricks. It’s been 6 weeks and it still hurts like hell and I still want my ex-GF back in my life for many reasons. But I also know I need to be a better version of myself if I ever hope to have a new relationship with her and for it to last. Thankfully I’ve avoided a lot of the pitfalls others have fallen into post break-up. And I’ve taken steps like starting therapy, joining a Martial Arts class, volunteering at the SPCA and enrolling in an online course to help with my anxious attachment issues that I recently discovered I have (and that caused me to smother my ex which is what led to her breaking up with me).
To rely on the Law of Attraction and just sit back and wait for something to happen is foolish. You’ll be waiting a long time. Another mistake is thinking you can just pick up where you left off. The old relationship failed. The goal should be to start a new relationship and make it better than the first. I’m hopeful that the LOA can help me on the journey and that at some point I can post that my ex came back and things are better than ever.
Hi Damian.
It’s important for you to work on your attachment style because if you don’t, you’ll attract people who use you, misunderstand you, or react to you. You won’t make people feel good around you if you don’t feel good within.
So work on yourself and the LOA will do its job in ways that it can. Don’t think it will attract your ex back though. Your ex will likely have to fail in some way for that to happen.
Sincerely,
Zan
Great article! Only one comment on a statement above: Esther Hicks/Abraham really endorse believing in your expection(s). They say that “desire + belief = expectation”: you want to believe fully and with strong clear desire thus expectation is a very positive outlook and will achieve manifestation.
Hello,
My story is different. He is not an ex and was not a boyfriend.
He is someone I am deeply attracted with and we are no longer in contact. We did hook up.
I feel bad as last time I saw him, I kind of humiliated myself. Since then, I am feeling very low and bad. I keep telling myself if I did not do that, I might had got a chance with him. However, I did sms to apologise for my drunk call. He replied back, not to worry and to take care. I felt like it was a goodbye message.
I want to heal and get better. In this situation, is it still possible to use the law of attraction and get the person to be interested in me again and erase the last impression that he got on me.
Thank you.
Wow this is so similar to my story like the exact same
Thing I still feel so embarrassed. I hope this works for us
Hi guys. My guy broke up with me 2 weeks ago. We were really good together but he started being super depressed because of not being able to get a job after college. His family also pressures him to get a job asap. He feels like a loser n very demotivated. Among all these negativity he has stopped feeling the passion for the relationship and finally broke up. I feel so helpless. He says that he still loves me and that he’ll always love me but that breaking up is important right now. 🙁
Don’t worry babe I went through the most similar thing! If he’s going through a lot & you broke up for that reason & you know for sure you really want him back. Then text him & let him know you don’t want to end in bad terms & hope he finds out his path in the near future, wish him well! And tell him thank you for him being a part of your life & you hope you’ll meet again in the future & that you love him but only say you love him if you really do. And also keep in contact with him tell him here & there how he’s doing mentally & physically show him you care. Most men love feeling cared for. Give him that. I’m giving him that and Everything turning out good & I’m so positive that me and him will get back together 💋 I’m gonna send you blessings & miracles your way I love you and you’re beautiful🧿 both of us will get through it 🥰
so i’m a bit confused. me and my boyfriend broke up a few months ago but haven’t stopped hooking up. i’m trying to manifest a relationship. do i have to let him go in order for the manifestation to work or can i still see him while hoping to get officially back together?
I was told that you need to let them go by not being intimate. This was hard for me but trust it’s a lot harder when you realize they are talking with someone else and have no commitment to you. I’m currently in the healing stage and detaching and slowly not contacting them. And increasing my faith in this ❤️ Wishing you the best of luck!
Wish you the best … seriously
Girl you broke up but he’s still hooking up with you on the side? No baby there’s someone else I could tell you that right now…
hi all 🙂 thanks for the article ! my story is complicated – in a nutshell – ive been single for 16 years before i met my ex out of the blue … he was fresh after a break up and we just clicked and gelled so well… 3 years later , 3 weeks before i was meant to move in with me (we are engaged for a year now) he pullled the plug stating he needs to be alone and cant promise me anyuting … he admitted he should have taken a break after his ex left him prior to us meeting and he didnt (and i asked him when we met and he said he was ready as he never had a loving relationship with his ex of 19 years). i love him and miss him every day …. and i know he still has feelings for me and in my heart and gut i believe we are meant to be. in our 3 years together we had more good memories than bad 0 the odd tiff every 3 weeks or so but we always bounced back.. i still dont know the real reason except for the fact that he wants to be alone….. he is a very stubborn man and once he made up his mind he is set ….. will these tactics work ? as i said in my heart i firmly believe our story is not over …..
Your story feels very similar to mine. It has been two months since my fiance left, saying we rushed into things and that he wants to find himself. I am still at a loss for words. We have been talking but he pushes and then pulls away in a big way. When I try not contact, I start meditations, and even when my phone is on silent I can’t help but look at it as soon as he messages me and I feel that this is a deep soul connection.
ai these men …. i havent heard from him since last week Monday – he only sent me a message asking if i am settled in my new place (after basically almost leaving me homeless) and i said all good.. he sent a hug emoticon and since that nothing 🙁 my heart is breaking and aching every day …. i believe in my heart, soul, mind and gut he is my twin flame ….. that is why im hurting soo much.. i cant get over this , especially when i think back of all the good memories and fun and stupid things we did together… the last time i saw him was the day i moved when i had to pick up stuff from him (2 weeks back) and he hugged me so tight when i said goodbye …..i felt and saw in his eyes he was sad, and that hug will stay with me forever ….. i wish to see his name on my phone again… i havent made contact with him since he sent me that message last week even though i am tempted….. i knoiw he has been hanging with his friends a lot (all married btw) so hopefully they can ‘inspire’ him to make contact with me byu him feeling he is the odd one out with no partner….. im a very impatient person so this is killing me …. perhaps the Universe did this to test my patience to wait for him ….
How’s everything for everyone right now?