Does Silence Make A Man Miss You?

While it’s true that silence makes a man miss you, it’s also true that it doesn’t necessarily make him miss you in a romantic way. For a guy to miss you romantically, he needs much more than just a bit of a break from you. He needs to think about you and wonder how you’re spending your time without him.

That kind of thinking can create a variety of emotions, starting with envy, jealousy, fear, respect, regret, and nostalgia.

You might think that the most important emotion silence creates in a man is love, but that doesn’t happen until much later (when the guy actually misses you). One of the first and most important positive emotions that occur during a period of silence is respect. Respect is the foundation on which love (which is a desire to give love and receive love) is built.

It makes a guy open-minded and curious about you after he’s lost interest and enables him to communicate with you and/or get back together with you. What respect does to a guy depends on what he’s thinking and feeling. And what he’s thinking and feeling usually depends on what’s going on in his life.

So if you think about it, silence makes a man miss you in a very indirect way. It first allows the guy to be free, experience life without you, and enjoy himself. But when he’s had enough space to do what he wants and things aren’t that fun anymore, he starts to think about you and perhaps even miss you.

The less luck he has connecting with other people (especially with romantic partners), the higher the chances that he’ll ponder about you, realize your worth, and miss you in ways you want him to miss you.

So whether you dated this guy for a few days or a few years, leave the guy alone. If he left, he did that because he lost interest and now needs to find interest.

He might find interest, but he won’t intentionally look for it. He’ll find it indirectly through silence, experiences, and the lessons life teaches him.

Today’s article is for everyone who wonders if silence makes a man miss you.

When does silence make a man miss you?

First of all, silence doesn’t make men miss you all that time. If it was 100% effective, all guys would come back and be happy with their exes or the people they dated. So let’s not sugarcoat the situation and try to be as realistic as possible.

From what I see, silence is effective only when certain conditions are met. This includes conditions you have control over, conditions the guy has control over, and conditions no one has control over.

All of these conditions are important as they are required for respect and love to develop. So let’s now talk about these conditions.

The first conditions we need to talk about are the conditions you have control over. They consist of your words and actions – what you do and don’t do. Since the guy you dated stopped valuing you, it’s extremely important that you value yourself, keep your composure, and don’t try to defend yourself.

Defending yourself or convincing him you’re worth a second chance is going to make things worse because it’s going to show you’re not capable of accepting his decision and moving on. This would then put pressure on the guy and quickly obliterate his respect for you.

And what does a lack of respect do? As we mentioned earlier, it prevents love from having a chance to develop.

Some things you can control after getting dumped are:

• how you present yourself (not how the guy perceives you)
• how you react to the split
• what mistakes you make
• what you do in the guy’s absence
• how strong and independent you are

If you don’t handle the separation well, you can forget about other conditions. The guy likely won’t see you as a worthy individual and will probably stay away from you and keep moving on. So if you still want to be with the guy, handle the silence with self-love and pride.

Go no contact and leave the guy alone. That will make the guy respect you (at least to some degree) and maybe even allow him to feel something for you if other conditions are met.

Next are the conditions the guy has control over.

This includes conditions like:

• how he perceives you
• what he does to decrease resentments, fears, unhealthy perceptions
• what he does to increase his willpower and commitment
• how he spends his time and with who
• what kind of advice he listens to
• if he dates anyone
• if he reflects and improves himself

The guy needs to be aware of his problems and work on them because that way he’ll be able to come back on his own initiative. He won’t have to wait for the last conditions to be met.

Conditions no one has control over:

• emotional health
• unpredictable circumstances
• being proven wrong
• learning new things through pain and suffering

If you want silence to make a man miss you, there’s not much you can do to change the guy’s perception of you. All you can do is make sure that the things that are in your control don’t annoy the guy and make him think you’re desperate for his love and recognition.

Another thing you don’t have control over now that the relationship has ended is how strong the connection was and how well you got along. You can’t convince him you’ve learned from your mistakes and show him you’ll be a much better partner if he gives you another chance.

A guy who abandons a romantic relationship just can’t be reasoned with. He’s lost feelings and the ability for his ex to influence the feelings he developed in the past and change his opinion. This is especially true if the guy is stubborn and has personal issues he neglected or isn’t aware of.

Sometimes a guy has to date other people, enjoy his life for a while, and fail miserably before he can discern your worth and miss you. That’s the only way he can lower his pride and return to you. His return often depends on how fortunate the guy is and how ready he is for a romantic relationship.

If he’s not emotionally ready for a serious relationship, silence after the breakup could make him ready. But if he’s severely underdeveloped, then he could paint a black picture of you and stop himself from acknowledging your romantic value and coming back to invest in you.

Keep in mind that silence and time on their own may or may not make a man miss you. It depends on so many factors, many of which are out of your and the guy’s control.

Here’s when silence alone makes a man miss you.

Specific things that could make a guy miss you

Breakups are difficult because other than giving the guy space and focusing on self-improvement, detachment, and happiness there’s not much you can do. You have to wait for the silence to encourage or force the guy to see you differently and desire you again.

If he sees you respect yourself and enjoy your life, he might eventually come back. But before that happens, something will likely have to go wrong on his end. Something will have to disappoint him or hurt him.

That something could be:

• a rejection/romantic failure
• poor physical/emotional health
• low self-esteem, self-blame
• losing a job, a friend, or a family member
• getting hurt by someone

The things above could crush the guy’s ego and self-esteem and encourage him to process breakup emotions at a much faster rate. It sucks, but guys don’t come back for no reason – because they’re happy. They come back when they’re hurt and regretful and think that you’re their best or only option.

They come back because they can’t get love, reassurance, and stability from someone else. The only person who can support them is the person who supported them until the end last time.

So if you’re wondering, “Does silence make a man miss you,” bear in mind that it does when things don’t go according to plan for him. When he thinks that he’ll be fine on his own or with someone else but fails and gets hurt, that’s when he starts thinking back and wondering if leaving you was the right thing to do.

If it wasn’t right, he could come back to invest in you and obtain love. But if leaving you didn’t trigger any difficult emotions and regrets, then he could just keep moving on.

You need to be aware of that so you don’t keep waiting for him forever to change his mind and feel something for you. You just don’t know what kind of problems (if any) he’ll run into and if he’ll have the kind of realization he needs to have.

Focus on yourself, not your ex

All you can do while you’re waiting for the power of silence to do its magic is to take your attention off the guy and put it on yourself. This is how you can make the suffering a little more bearable and allow yourself to find happiness again.

While you’re focusing on yourself, you have some things to figure out. Things like whether the guy is the best you can find and if it’s even worth getting back with him. Right now, you probably think that it is because he broke your heart and made you feel his importance. But give it a few weeks or months (depending on how attached you are) and you’ll start seeing things more clearly.

You’ll notice that the guy had flaws and that you can’t keep hoping he’ll come back just because he rejected you. That would put your life on hold and waste your time and emotions.

You need to know that breakups are a sign that something went seriously wrong. Something prevented the guy from being with you—and that’s very alarming. It’s a red flag you must take very seriously now and if he comes back. You shouldn’t impulsively jump back into a relationship with a guy who may not have resolved his personal issues yet.

You should first find out if he’s worked on himself and if he’s willing to keep working on himself. These are the most important things you should figure out if you’re contemplating getting back with someone who abandoned you.

So don’t worry just about whether silence can make a man miss you. Worry also about whether silence can make a guy improve himself and fix the things that made him leave. Do that so you know he can develop the skills and determination necessary to stay committed and work through issues.

Do you think that silence makes a man miss you in the right kind of way? Did it ever work for you or someone you know? Post your comment below.

And if you want to discuss the effects of silence with us in more detail, check out our coaching options here.