If You Love Something, Let It Go!

As the proverb says, that which is meant for you will always find its way back to you no matter where you are and what you’ve done. It will eventually gravitate toward you and you won’t even have to lift a finger.

You’ll just have let it go, focus on yourself, and if it comes back to you, it’s yours forever.

The saying says so, anyway.

The truth is that if you love something and that something doesn’t love you back, you should let it go. You should part ways with it because stressing about something or someone who’s no longer accessible to you is pointless and self-destructive.

It’s a waste of time and energy, so focus on more productive things that are available to you right now.

If you choose to obsess about your troubles and hope that things turn around, you could get caught in an overanalyzing, neverending cycle of pain that makes you incredibly dependent on positive results.

And since there’s a big possibility that those positive results never manifest themselves, it means that you could eventually get disappointed and suffer immensely.

Your unrealistic expectations would make sure of it.

If you take just one tiny piece of information from this article, please memorize that obsession created by (false) hope is very, very bad for your well-being.

The hope you search for may feel empowering at first because it gives you a sense of control, but it doesn’t necessarily make you feel better in the long run.

It usually makes you feel worse because it raises your expectations and pushes you to think that you can feel better as long as things take a turn for the better.

Hope is, therefore, very conditional. If you get what you want, you feel better. And if you don’t, your world comes crashing down on you.

So instead of staying hopeful about something you really, really want, practice acceptance instead. Tell yourself that you may not get the results you want, but that you accept them nonetheless.

In this way, you’ll practice acceptance, forgiveness, and self-love—and let the law of allowing give you positive results no matter what the results actually are.

And don’t worry that you’ll simply give up on your desires without a fight and that you’ll settle for less than you deserve. By accepting bad results, you’ll only make certain that poor results don’t destroy your emotional well-being.

You’ll essentially protect yourself from getting hurt and avoid falling in depression.

In this post, we’ll talk about why you should let it go when you love something or someone very much.

If you love something let it go

Hope can be great, but it’s very conditional!

If you’re one of those people who believe that staying hopeful about certain things in life is a good thing, you’re probably right. Hope can be very empowering as it can give you the motivational boost required for your success life.

It can inspire you to reach new heights.

But the unfortunate truth is that many people hope for things that are out of their control.

They hope that their cheating ex-partner who left them for someone else comes back and commits to them.

Or they hope that they win the lottery and get out of debt.

Keep in mind that hoping is okay. But it’s okay only when you have a predetermined goal in mind and you know exactly what you want and how you’re going to achieve it.

If you can’t see changes and improvements coming your way in the near future and you can’t control the circumstances in your life, accepting your situation and becoming okay with good, bad, or mediocre results, therefore, is the best thing to do.

It’s best because you don’t want to stay hopeful about something that may or may not happen. At some point, it’s time to prioritize your emotional well-being and regain your independence.

The quality of your life depends on it.

On that note, please remember that hope can be a good thing. It can be good when you know you’re going to get a degree in your desired field of study and work toward it.

Hope can also be good when you plan to lose weight and aspire to live a healthier lifestyle.

But it can’t be good when you desperately pray for something or someone to take mercy on you and give you something you don’t have or can’t get on your own.

If you love something, let it go! Don’t hold on to it!

First of all, letting go doesn’t mean that you give up on something you really want (unless it’s unattainable or self-destructive). It means that you detach yourself from the negative outcome and become okay with unwanted results.

If it’s exams you’re worried about and you’re experiencing killer anxiety, letting go of high expectations will help you prepare yourself for the worst.

It won’t make you uncaring or lazy as some people may think, but it will lower the amount of anxiety you allow yourself to feel.

I’d learned this lesson when I was still in college. One day I felt extremely anxious about my upcoming presentation, so I decided that I don’t want to worry about unimportant things in life anymore.

I told myself that worrying isn’t going to change anything, so I prepared myself as much as I could and went on stage with a “whatever happens-happens mentality.”

Needless to say, it worked like a charm which is why I’ve been using this self-empowering technique ever since.

I use it when I work, talk to strangers, and even when I visit the store during this Coronavirus pandemic. I know that worry and stress don’t hurt others. They hurt me.

Whenever you feel anxious, I strongly encourage you to ask yourself, “What’s the worst that can happen? Is my life going to end or be negatively affected? If so, how is worrying about it going to help me?

Soon, you’ll probably realize that your life won’t come to an end and that stressing about it is not worth the stomach pain and sleepless nights. It’s especially not worth the trouble if you can’t do anything about it.

So even though you may not be able to control the issue itself, there’s still plenty you can do about it. You can decide how much hope you put on your stressors by rationally and emotionally convincing yourself that life is too short to worry about trivial worries.

Here’s Earl Nightingale’s authoritative estimate of what most people worry about. See which category your problems fit in.

WorriesPercentage
Things that never happen40%
Things over and past that can’t be changed by all the worry in the world30%
Needless worries about our health12%
Petty, miscellaneous worries10%
Real, legitimate worries8%

If you think about it, 92% of all worries are unnecessary worries that you don’t possess the power to do anything about.

All you can do is embrace them as a part of life and carry on as if they don’t exist.

Here’s why you should let go of everything that is bad for you.

Letting go of everything negative

Let go of everything that no longer serves you in a positive light

By letting the things you love or don’t love go, you’ll free yourself from chains that keep you in the past and grow as a person.

You’ll open your heart up to new possibilities and experience happiness again.

This is why you should identify your stressors – everything that hinders your growth or recovery and learn to let go. Let go of everything that affects you negatively and detach yourself from its negative effects immediately.

You may find it difficult to leave it all behind at first, but that’s okay. Just because it’s difficult doesn’t mean that it’s a bad idea. The truth is that if it’s difficult and you’re anxious about it, it’s even that much more important that you let it go.

It’s important that you put some distance between reality and expectations so that you can take a deep breath and see things from a clearer perspective.

When you do that, you might even realize that a little bit of distance was all you needed and that you can finally enjoy your life the way you deserve to enjoy it.

Sometimes you just need to disconnect and enjoy your own company.

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There are many things you need to let go of, starting with people and unrealistic expectations that hurt you and prevent you from being your true self.

It doesn’t matter if you’re still in love with a person and have high hopes that he or she comes back. It doesn’t matter if you want something so badly that it gives you stomach ulcers.

If you want to be happy (which you should), you should cut off the stressors in your life that you lack the power to do anything about. By getting rid of them, you’ll do everyone a service.

If your ex broke your heart, you’ll give him or her the freedom to be free and yourself a blessing of a lifetime. You’ll do the bravest thing you can do and finally heal from heartbreak.

If you still doubt as to whether you should let a person go, please remember that you can’t forcefully bring people back to you. By holding on to them, you can, however, smother them ane prolong your suffering and their desire for space.

So let go of everyone who doesn’t appreciate your presence anymore. Let go of acquaintances, partners, ex-partners, friends, and yes, even family members.

Someone who loves you will never betray you, seek alone time, and appear happy without you. He or she will show you how much you matter to him or her.

Here are a few things you shouldn’t hesitate to let go of if you want to be happy.

Let go of people who don't love you

Basically let go of everything you can’t change or influence with willpower and effort. Let go of it completely and your worries will soon fade away.

Take my word for it.

Why is letting go so important?

Staying hopeful about something or someone you have no control over is much more dangerous than letting it go and forgetting about it. It’s dangerous because hope alone doesn’t accomplish anything.

All hope does is that it prolongs the inevitable (that which is going to happen whether you worry or not) and causes more pain and suffering in the long run.

People who stay in denial and refuse to let go oftentimes develop psychological issues. They unknowingly create deep-rooted trust issues and experience anxiety attacks that make their life a living hell on Earth.

Such people put so much hope on something they love that they get stuck in the past and refuse to let go. As a result, their lives lose meaning and they become codependent on external factors for happiness.

If you notice that you’re anxious about something you love and you can’t seem to let go of it, I strongly suggest you seek professional help.

Consult a person specialized in mental health and figure out why you’re having difficulty letting go.

You might realize that it’s got something to do with your upbringing and/or with the circumstances that shaped you into the person you are today.

How to let go of something/someone you love?

Letting go of something you really, really want takes time. It’s a process that requires understanding, patience, and self-love.

So before you start, it’s necessary for you to understand that letting go of something or someone who hurt you won’t happen overnight. In fact, the emotions you invested will require some time to dissipate, so don’t expect immediate results.

If you invested 10 years of emotions in someone and that person cut you off, ghosted you, or cheated on you, he or she triggered separation anxiety in you. That person cut the supply of daily happy hormones, which is why you’ve gone cold turkey and now need time to recover.

You’ll first have to deal with devastating pain, let go of expectations of him or her coming back, knock him or her off the pedestal, and last but not least, find happiness on your own again.

Depending on your personal strength and the ability to distract yourself, this could take months. It really depends on how much this person has hurt you.

If it’s a lot and you’re starving for validation, it will probably take you at least 8 months to fully recover. It might take even longer if it’s your first breakup.

But don’t let that discourage you. Most people have to let go of someone who leaves them at least once in life. I’m one of those people too. So if I could let go of someone I loved, so can you!

Affirmations to let go of something you love

If you love something and it no longer serves you the way you want it to serve you, let it go. Detach yourself from its negativity consequences and look forward to life without them.

A great way to do this is to practice positive self-empowering, moving-on affirmations.

You can speak them out loud or keep them to yourself if you’d like. It doesn’t matter how you use them as long as you believe that they work and put emotion into them.

If you don’t believe in their effectiveness, I can tell you that they won’t do you any good. They’ll waste your time.

So put your heart into them and take them seriously.

Here are some letting-go affirmations you can start using today. Practice them multiple times a day for maximum effect.

  1. The past is in the past. I am moving forward.
  2. From now on, I care only about things and people that are important to me.
  3. I love myself too much to worry about something/someone that is no longer a part of my life.
  4. Life is too short to stay miserable. I am going to stay positive and move on with my life.
  5. I’m letting go of everything that is not meant for me.
  6. Everyone makes mistakes and so did I. I was able to grow because of them—and I’m happy that I did.
  7. I’m grateful for everything positive in my life. That’s why I’m staying positive for myself and everyone who loves me.
  8. I can feel myself letting go of unhealthy attachments. I’m regaining my old self back.

Practice these affirmations and they’ll help you let go of something you love. Just stay positive and work on letting go of the notion that you can still salvage your situation.

If it’s a person you’re worried about – a toxic friend or an ex, remind yourself that things unfolded the way they did for a reason. You and the person in question weren’t on the same wavelength for a while, so you cut the bond and went separate ways.

Nobody knows if the person who chose to walk away from you will change his or her mind, but it’s okay. That’s the least of your worries right now because you have a responsibility to look after yourself.

You’ve got to do what’s best for you and distance yourself from the source of pain.

If you love something other than a person, however, something like a job or a house, simply accept the fact that they’re gone for now and tell yourself that it’s not the end of the world.

Tell yourself you’re going to be okay.

Life is full of unpredictable events, but fortunately, you get to decide how much they weigh you down by the kind of thoughts you think.

If you think positive thoughts and accept negative occurrences as a part of life, the pain will be significantly lower than if you were to cry and wallow in despair.

I know that despair’s gravitational pull can be extremely difficult to run away from once you’re in it, but it’s not impossible.

If you gather willpower and force yourself to think and feel positive emotions—and practice self-love every day, you should gradually regain control of your life and dictate how you feel.

As Earl Nightingale said, “We become what we think about.” So think letting-go thoughts and find inner peace by accepting reality for what it is.

Is there something you love and you want to let it go? Is it a person? Let us know what or who you’re trying to let go of by leaving a comment below.

30 thoughts on “If You Love Something, Let It Go!”

  1. I’m not sure I agree with this. It’s a standard Hallmark sentiment which doesn’t help. It’s not about letting it go, it’s about not understanding why that person that affected you so deeply in emotions left, and you are finding it impossible to let go.

    I was with someone for three years and so a year later, you would think there would be some level of moving on for me but there isn’t.

    I am emotionally unavailable for others. I’m mournful inside. I’ve turned down liaisons with people because I just feel dead in my heart. I feel it took such a beating, it’s just sick of trying to pick up the pieces and get excited again.

    I don’t feel goodwill towards them. I don’t feel neutrality. I feel utter sorrow.

    1. James, it’s because you felt that way (emotionally affected deeply), but they didn’t (anymore). Perhaps at one point yes your ex did feel strongly about you, but the fact that they broke up with you means that they didn’t feel that way about you anymore. Their feelings changed, grew cold. Their attraction to you and their interest level dropped to the point that they didn’t want you in their life anymore as a romantic partner. But because you go on how you felt about them, you can’t understand it. Your feelings are only yours. It doesn’t mean that the other person feels the same way in return. And that is what is so difficult to believe when you have been in a relationship with them, because there was a point where it did feel mutual. But believe and accept that it’s not that way now. Don’t force yourself to let go of how you feel about your ex. Or put a deadline on it. Zan has explained in other articles that it is normal to still think of your ex months or years later. It’s not a switch you can just turn off. I know, hearing people tell you to move on, sounds terrible. You seem to be grieving still because of the sadness within you and “feeling dead” inside. Try to take care of yourself by eating well, sleeping well, exercising, finding things that give you pleasure or that used to give you joy. And don’t force yourself to feel okay, when you’re not feeling it. Your ex obviously meant so much to you. That my friend tells me you have a capacity to love. So with time you will love new things, places and eventually other people. Accept that the situation was not how you wanted it to turn out. But it wasn’t your fault. You couldn’t change it. It is what it is. Tell yourself you’re trying to be at peace with it. And just repeat it until one day it will be the truth.

      1. “That my friend tells me you have a capacity to love”

        I had a capacity to love. But I’m not so sure now. I don’t love anything anymore. I look with a dull heart of stone on things I used to enjoy, things I used to love.

        And there is no way I want to risk feeling like this again about someone else in future. How is it worth it? I’ve lost a year of precious life feeling like I’m being buried alive in manure.

        As you get older, each year is more and more valuable. Spending a whole year like this is utterly profligate but there’s nothing I can do about it. It doesn’t work to pretend I’m doing fine. Fake it till you make it doesn’t work for me.

        All I’ve done is work, work, work. That’s it. I’ve built my own company from scratch. It’s going well. But it’s not fulfilling. It’s just been a distraction.

        I appreciate your comment June, and what you’re trying to say. But I think these platitudinal statements and mantras aren’t subtle enough.

        I’ve eaten well. I’ve slept a lot. I’ve exercised. It doesn’t do anything. And nor does time. I still have the same pang I had over a year ago. All these things which are constantly promoted as “fixes” just don’t fix anything at all.

        1. Dear James,
          Time doesn’t heal anything, but the self-care I advised you to do, does help you. Whether you notice it or not at this moment. It isn’t a fix, but a way to at least keep the foundation of your body and mind as healthy as it can be. Whenever stressed or in a crisis or period of sadness and mourning, revert back to the basics: sleep, eat, move, repeat. Listen, James your capacity to love is within you. You don’t lose it just because someone didn’t feel the same way about you. You ask how is it worth it? Well you are worth it to be loved back in the way you love. To find an equal. If you just close off for the rest of your life, how is that worth it? The ex that didn’t love you, gets to have that kind of an impact on you. Is that person worth it? Of course not. Fake it till you make it doesn’t work for me either. I can’t fake things, feelings, words etc. You don’t have to fake anything. Just allow yourself to heal in your own time. I understand that you look at things with a dull heart of stone, even after a year. But you have to trust me. Give it time. One day something will bring a smile on your face again and you will not even have noticed the progress you’ve made unaware of it. I promise you that that moment come as a surprise. You’ll say to yourself: wow, I can’t remember the last time I laughed like this. I know that your accomplishments at work don’t feel fulfilling at this moment. Again, sorry to repeat myself, but you need to give it time. It will happen. I promise this will pass. Here are some silly tips. Perhaps they work for you or otherwise just ignore them: look at standup comedy, watch funny YouTube video, watch video’s about puppy’s or small animals, anything to make you smile. Or an old advertisement from when you were a child. Something that brings back the safety and warmth of when you didn’t have a care in the world. Perhaps do something or play a game you did as a child. As meaningless as it may seem. Did you like painting as a child? Then take a Saturday midday and paint. Or go buy candy that you used to like. Anything that you’ve stopped doing once you became a “grownup”. If all fails then just watch the Bacardi Rum advertisement from the eighties. If that doesn’t make you feel better for a few moments, I don’t know what will 🙂

  2. Dear Zan and other readers,
    I have been reading these articles for more than a year and they have helped me in many ways. What I would like to know from you but also from other readers: so what if my ex is coming back? How can I live with the knowledge that while going through those stages of the dumper in which he finally came to realize that it is me he wants, he had a great year? He has done many nice things, forgot all about me, had sex with a new girlfriend etc etc. So to be short: why would I (why would you) take somebody back that might actually really regret, but was able to be without me (or you) easily for an entire year? How would you guys deal with that?

    1. Good question. I think if he can go off for a year and live it up but truly believes he wants to be with you, then he can be patient with you while he earns back your trust and love. If you don’t want him back, though, don’t take him back. If you aren’t comfortable with how he’s returned and you feel like it’s unfair and you will have resentment, don’t take him back. The question is: do you really want him (Do you trust him? Do you admire him? Do you want to grow old with him? Do you believe you can have a good future together?)?

      I don’t think it’s awful that someone can live without you, as it may show a level of capability, adaptability and independence. What the issue should be is how is he treating you? Does he expect you to just jump back in his arms? Did he have any empathy or regret for the pain he caused you? Also, important to note: how did he treat the other girlfriend when they broke up and why did they break up? Was he respectful? Rude? Ghosting? I found that how my exes have treated their exes is usually how they ended up treating me.

    2. Dear Mary,

      Its interesting that you ask this question as i ask myself each day right now. My Girlfriend of 5 years left me at the end of 2018 and it left me crushed to the point of having anxiety attacks for almost a year. I never knew a break up would take this long to get over but i finally did by the end of 2019 and i almost immediately met a wonderful girl that i started dating in Jan 2020. After i had resolved to move on and before i started dating my new girlfriend she came back depressed to the point of calling my family and her family calling me to forgive her and take her back. This was really hard for me to see her going through the pain and i would have gone back out of sympathy.

      The only thing that kept me from going back was remembering the feeling i got when she kept on ignoring me for almost 8 months as i begged and tried to reason with her. I was really desperate id text her and she would reply weeks later and i would still be happy that she had at least responded. It was until i got clarity that i realized how i had disrespected myself.

      So in summary i decided not to take her back because i felt that i could not trust her and i felt that i would resent her for such a long time for her actions. I think it was the better and most logical decision.

    3. Hi Mary.

      If you were to get back with your ex, there are some you’d have to overcome. For starters, you’d have to let go of the fact that he hurt you and had a great time without you. You could do this by telling yourself that it’s not just your ex who’s happy after the breakup. Most dumpers feel relieved from the prolonged end of the relationship and prefer to distance themselves from that which makes them feel uncomfortable.

      Moreover, if you keep working on yourself, you soon won’t need your ex back anymore. You’ll outgrow the pain and prioritize yourself.

      Best regards,
      Zan

  3. Hello Zan, this was the article I was looking for.
    It has been 6 months since the breakup of my 13 years relationship.
    It is really hard to let go, but I am trying and taking my time.
    Its going to be a long journey.
    Some days I do my best and sometimes not.
    I am learning no to be to hard on myself and my mistakes, and don’t worry a lot about the past or the future.
    I am trying to let go of someone I still love, but who doesn’t love me anymore, and its really hard but not impossible.
    The people who love you will always be there no matter what. It took me 6 months to underatand that.
    Who loves you will always find a solution and who doesn’t will always find an excuse.

    1. Hi Elena.

      You’re doing great. It’s perfectly normal to have bad days every now and then because that’s how healing works. It takes time and unfortunately, a lot of anxiety. So acknowledge your setback days as something you need to go through and allow yourself to grieve.

      You’re absolutely right that someone who loves you won’t discard you. He’ll try very hard to stay in love with you and also, do his best for you to stay committed to him. I’m glad you’ve realized that.

      Kind regards,
      Zan

  4. Hi Zan.I enjoy your posts for their sense and clarity so many thanks.
    My 4year relationship ended 2months ago.
    To say that i was blindsided is an understatement.
    We had plans for this year.And then he told me he was going away for a vacation without me.
    Our last meeting was March.He was rude and didnt want any intimacy.
    April and May were no communication months.
    I began to suspect that he was cheating.
    Upon questioning,he said that he found someone else and that we had our time.And also that nothing i`d do would change his mind.
    I wished him the best and that was our last contact.
    I didnt beg nor pleaded for him to stay.No dramas.
    He messaged the next day to ask if I was okay.

    I think this “if you love someone you let them go is so ttrueFor me i had to really dig deep and ask myself if i truly loved him.i do care stil.

    1. Hi Kay.

      I’m sorry to hear that your ex cheated on you and left for someone else. You must now love yourself with everything you’ve got and let him go to become happy with yourself again.

      I know it’s only a matter of time before you rationally discern that cheating is one of the worst sins he could have committed.

      Hang in there, Kay!
      Zan

  5. It’s been a long time since the breakup. Happened in late October. One last fight and he used it as a way out, we have not spoken since. We had one conversation at that time where he cried for an hour in my lap saying useless things like I’ll always love you & this isn’t goodbye. Turns out those were lies because I haven’t seen or heard from him since that conversation in October. It’s been hard to let go I think due to my lack of closure after having an almost 2 year long relationship come to a complete and sudden end. Also my first ever relationship, his too. Our relationship was also very loving, probably too co-dependent but there was no screaming, lying, cheating, none of that. I want to let go so badly and part of me has but part of me still wishes for respect and empathy from this person.

    1. It’s okay to wish for empathy, Lauren.

      Your ex broke your heart and showed no concern whatsoever. Proabably because he considers himself a victim.

      Be glad that he isn’t communicating with you. You can solely focus on yourself and let him go quicker this way.

      Best regards,
      Zan

  6. So my ex and I have broken up since April, I went into no contact since 2nd May and she messaged me on the 19th because she was having some problems. Well I helped her with her emotional issues but then she didn’t contact me again (so I learned it was just breadcrumbing). After realizing that, I went back into No contact all the way till now and read books, working out etc, improving myself constantly. However today, I saw on instagram she tried to message me? I didn’t follow her on instagram so it came back as an “approval request” to receive her message, so I accepted but then theres no message?

    I assume she sent me a message, then deleted her message. Is this some sort of breadcrumbing or does she miss me then decide to message but then thought the better of it and deleted her message? Whatever it is, I’m still in no contact atm and didn’t want to act impulsively until I hear some advice. Would appreciate some advice on what to do, thanks Zan! Read so much of your articles and they really helped me improve so much in 2 months than in the past 5 years.

  7. Wow! What a detailed post Zan, I appreciate your passion so much. But I have a request, could you make a post discussing how to handle social media in no contact? Because my ex blocked me but still uses a fake account to stalk me. Should I let her know how I am doing or disappear completely?

    Yours sincerely!

    1. I’m genuinely curious how people know they are being stalked via fake accounts. I’ve heard this numerous times. Is this a guess? Or do these people ‘like’ posts or try to friend you? Or do friends tell you what they are up to?

      BTW I would leave all alone if she broke up with you. If she wants to know how you are doing bad enough, she will ask. Offering that info will set you back and also not make positive feelings come to her. It may be a blessing in disguise for you, not being able to see what she is up to so it actually may be easier for you to forget after you’ve left the grieving period and being to recover. I’m a firm believer in not changing social media habits, just be you, don’t post anything because of her.

    2. Hi Wilson.

      Thanks for the topic recommendation.

      I suggest that you don’t lay a trap for your ex on social media because aiming posts at her or posting it just for her is unnecessary and oftentimes makes the plan backfire. Some dumpers get annoyed and unfollow or block the enthusiastic dumpee.

      If you’re going to take the social media route, my advice to you is to post only the best of the best and forget that she’s checking up on you. Behave as if you don’t know because it’s only a matter of time before she gets bored of it.

      Sincerly,
      Zan

  8. Today is my birthday and I’m in 5m of no contact. Feb 9th I finally prioritized myself and told my ex that unless he wants to have me in his life unconditionally, I’m moving forward. It’s been a devastating time letting him go but every day feels slightly better. Today being my birthday I decided that starting tomorrow I will not mention his name Again to my friends , therapist or anyone who’s known our story. The past is the past and unless he returns and wants to make amends, I will continue to focus on myself.
    I still miss him but I miss myself before he came into my life much more. I remain optimistic and this article came at the perfect time as tonight is the final time I will discuss him and let go of any shred of false hope. Thank you Zan.

    1. It was also my birthday this week and I”m sad to say that I had some residual l hope that he would reach out to me; or course he did not. It’s been 3 months. I also used my birthday as a time to draw a line and try again to let go. This article also came at a perfect time for me, it’s really helped me look forward and try to leave the past in the past. The affirmations are great and a posted up in the kitchen so I see them every day.

    2. Hi Molly.

      Happy belated birthday!

      Letting your ex go was the best thing you could have done for yourself. I assure you that you’re going to heal at a much faster rate now that you finally prioritize yourself.

      I encourage you to talk about your ex only if you’re struggling emotionally. But if you’re not and you feel like you got your old self back, there’s absolutely no need to keep the obsession alive. Let it go and focus on productive things instead.

      You’re doing great, Molly! Keep it up!
      Zan

  9. I don’t know what to say… I’m speechless from this article. All your articles are amazing but this… it’s what I needed to hear today and everyday that I feel bad I will read this. Life changing article
    God bless you Zan 🤍

  10. Fantastic article Zan and thank you for those affirmations; I screen shot them!
    Funny, I can let go of toxic friends, jobs, bad decisions, have zero fear about the current pandemic and yet, it’s taken years (3 1/2 of them) to let go of my ex! Mostly because we’ve had a lot of hot/cold stuff but it’s my fault for allowing that.
    I can say that I’m at least back to my old personality after two years of a dark depression. I still have a lot of work to do but this article definitely helped.
    Keep up the awesome work! We’re out here and you are making a difference!

    1. Hi Cecily.

      Thanks for the comment.

      You can let go of toxic friends and bad decisions because you didn’t get that attached to them. They were just a part of your life, whereas your ex completely captivated you for many months and unknowingly used the push-pull technique to make you dependent on him.

      I’m glad that you let him go, Cecily. You can once again be at peace.

      Kind regards,
      Zan

  11. Great advice as usual Zan! I have experienced this personally and I can now declare ( after 9 months) I am totally over my breakup. At first, it felt like my world was over, but surely enough, after I made that decision to let her go and move on, it got better and better. I even met someone new lately and she is an amazing woman! Never, never look back my friends. Also, I am very thankful to God as well. My Christian faith has given me so much hope throughout my journey. Trust God my friends, he will give you true hope!

    1. That’s so inspiring, it’s helpful to know there is light at the end of the tunnel when we seem to be surrounded by darkness. Looking forward to brighter days.

    2. Hi Evan.

      I’m happy that you detached from your ex and found someone new to love and be loved by. This is the way life is. You have to let go in order to love again.

      Thank you for the uplifting words!
      Zan

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