How To Let Go Of An Ex Who Has Moved On?

If you want to let go of an ex who has moved on, you have to do things that help you let go. Time will help a bit, but to let go, you have to want to let go. You can’t expect to move on from your ex if you keep telling yourself things like, “I’ll never move on and be happy. My ex was the best I ever had.”

You’ll also have a hard time moving on if you continue doing things that hurt you and your chances of reconciliation. If you contact your ex repeatedly, beg and plead, get angry with your ex, call your ex names, and do various harmful things, you’ll put your ex in an awkward situation and force a negative response out of your ex.

That will make you feel rejected again, complicate your detachment process, and make you miss and crave your ex even more. 

So just as you slowly got attached to your ex, know that you’ll also have to slowly detach. You’ll have to give yourself time to fall out of love and get back on your feet. Don’t expect to get over your ex in a matter of days as romantic feelings don’t dissipate that quickly.

They require months of detachment and healing to get rid of.

You can detach relatively quickly if you avoid making breakup mistakes and leave your ex alone. Start no contact and force yourself to stay away from your ex.

No contact will help you let go of an ex who has moved on as it will force you to stop interacting with your ex and show you that you don’t need your ex to survive and be happy.

You just need to find purpose without your ex and fall back in love with yourself.

Most dumpees accomplish that in 6 – 9 months. How fast they heal depends on the intensity of their relationship, their coping mechanisms, support system, lifestyle, ability to self-distract, their ex’s behavior, and the mistakes they make.

If they’ve been through a difficult breakup before and/or understand they need to regain their self-worth, they typically recover much quicker than those who haven’t yet gone through the first (serious) breakup and lack the knowledge and tools to cope with separation anxiety and pain.

Experienced/confident dumpees know the breakup isn’t the end of the world and that they’ll find love again. They just need some time to detach before they meet a person who’s right for them.

Regardless of whether this is your first breakup or the 10th one, you need to follow certain post-breakup rules, known as the rules of no contact. These rules will guide you and encourage you to take your mind off your ex and focus on yourself.

They’ll help you get answers to some important questions, such as:

• What is your ex truly like as a person?
• Why did the breakup happen?
• And what does your ex need to respect you and not think poorly or more poorly of you?

The rules of no contact won’t automatically prevent you from making breakup mistakes and heal your wounded heart, but they will tell you what you need to do to avoid staying hung up on your ex. You should take them seriously and stop the ghost of your ex from making you feel miserable.

How well you do and how quickly you heal from the breakup will depend on your ability to avoid pressuring your ex and hurting yourself.

For example, if you convince yourself that post-breakup communication is perfectly fine and that you might be able to talk your way back into the relationship, you’ll ignore common sense and try to reason with your ex.

You’ll transform your ex into the most important person in the world and ask your ex for a dose of validation. Since your ex probably won’t provide it, you’ll soon feel rejected and need to recover from one more rejection.

From the beginning of the breakup till the moment you’re healed, the breakup will make it extremely tempting for you to ignore rational thinking and act on emotions. It will constantly tell you that you can stop suffering if you reach out to your ex, show improvements, and impress your ex.

It won’t tell you though that your ex has engraved negative opinions of you deep into his or her subconscious mind and that you can’t change your ex’s perception of you merely by talking to your ex. To change the way he or she sees you and feels about you, your ex has to want to change it.

And your ex will want to change it if he or she is forced to change it.

You don’t need to worry about that as it’s out of your control. You should worry about things you can control. Things such as your behavior, thoughts, and feelings. If you gain control over them, you’ll take your ex’s ability to control your life away and live the way you want to live.

Letting go of an ex who has moved on requires a certain level of awareness. You need to want to move on and believe in your ability to detach. If you believe in yourself, you can heal by improving in areas of your life that need improving the most.

If you need to improve your self-esteem, you can read self-esteem books and practice self-love affirmations. You can also sign up for therapy and discover how you and your ex both contributed to the breakup.

The breakup requires a lot of work, so be prepared to reflect and put the work in. The more you invest in yourself, the quicker you can expect to let go of an ex who has moved on.

In today’s post, we go into detail about how to let go of an ex who has moved on. We share loads of useful tips you should implement immediately.

How to let go of an ex who has moved on?

Everyone is capable of letting go of an ex who has moved on. But not everyone moves on or moves on as quickly as they could. This is because they rely on their instincts for healing and by doing so, stay emotionally hooked on their ex.

They don’t realize they’re making mistakes and that those mistakes cost them dearly. They constantly give too much hope or kill too much hope and make them want to be with their ex.

Post-breakup hope is a double-edged sword that prolongs their detachment, which is why dumpees should strive to slowly lose hope by doing things that distract them and make them happy.  

Some dumpees don’t understand that (or don’t want to understand it), so they scroll through photos of their ex, send their ex gifts, and show up unannounced at their ex’s work or home. They don’t see that their actions are the reasons it’s taking them so long to let go of their ex.

I hope you aren’t one of those dumpees and that you’ve thrown away reminders of your ex.

Letting go isn’t a bad thing. It doesn’t mean that you’ll never get a chance to be with your ex. All it means is that you accept the breakup and allow the universe to take control of things you lack control of. It’s the smart thing to do as holding on to your ex has no positive benefits whatsoever.

It just makes you more desperate.

That’s why the first and probably most important thing to do when you’re trying to let go of your ex is to realize that letting go of your ex is good for you. If holding on to your ex makes you sad, obsessed, hopeful, anxious, depressed, and miserable, then letting go of your ex has the opposite effect.

It helps you regain your emotional independence and lets you be stress-free, happy, and your usual self.

Secondly, you need to understand that moving on isn’t a competition. It can’t be because your ex detached before you even got dumped. He or she moved on days or weeks before the breakup when he or she decided the relationship wasn’t working.

So don’t try to get over the breakup before your ex does. If you got dumped, you should accept the fact that your ex already got over you and is happier than you.

Your ex doesn’t need to deal with rejection pain, separation anxiety, and various fears. Your ex doesn’t need to process the separation in ways you need as your ex is starting on the opposite end of the breakup and can immediately start feeling relieved and dating someone else.

This leads us to our third point, don’t think poorly of yourself and take things personally. I know it’s hard not to, especially when your ex starts dating someone who appears to be better-looking and more financially successful than you, but that’s completely irrelevant as it doesn’t determine happiness in a relationship.

As soon as couples get used to each other, they take each other’s superficial perks and traits somewhat for granted and argue about real problems. You know, things like impatience, mistreatment, lack of empathy, and whose turn it is to take the trash out. 

If you expect a relationship to work just because of superficial matters, you’re toast as you’re betting on the wrong things. Very few people will stay with someone just because he’s well off or because she’s beautiful. Looks fade and money loses its value when things become easily affordable.

So if you notice that your ex is dating again, try not to look at what that person has that you don’t. You don’t know what that person is like as a partner. The only person who understands (or will understand him or her) is your ex.

But even your ex will need months to get to know him or her on an intimate level.

To be fair, you shouldn’t even be keeping an eye on your ex. You should be staying in no contact, making sure not to learn anything you’re not supposed to learn. To keep your mind off your ex, unfollow your ex on social media and tell your friends to keep you in the dark about your ex. 

You’ll appreciate it when you let go of your ex and realize that you couldn’t care less about your ex. This moment of realization will feel liberating to you as it will empower you with relief and make you wonder why you wasted so much time thinking about being with your ex.

So if you want to know how to let go of an ex who has moved on, push your ex out of sight. If you don’t know what your ex is doing, you also won’t care about it. You’ll remain in control of your emotions and do your own things.

I encourage you to put yourself first and let your ex be happy. Your ex’s happiness is not important. Now that you’ve broken up, all that matters are the things you do to get yourself back and stop obsessing over your ex.

A great way to let go of your ex is to get out of the house as much as possible and stay busy. Staying busy is one of the most important things you can do after the breakup. It’s the recipe for getting over your ex as it helps you get used to a life without your ex.

It also teaches you there are plenty of fun things you can do without your ex and that you’ll be okay with or without your ex.

So if you’re tired of staying broken-hearted and want to let go of your ex as quickly as you can, find things to do. Get busy with your life and focus on your hobbies, work, and ambitions. Live a fun and active life because if you don’t, you’ll be forced to ruminate about your ex and how nice it’d be to do things together.

If you don’t want to do things alone, grab your friends or make some new friends. A strong social life is just as important as staying busy. You need to surround yourself with people because doing so will prevent you from sulking and feeling sorry for yourself.

People in general will motivate you to get out of the house and do things. Even if you just talk about random things, it’s better to be with them than to deal with the breakup alone.

This is the time for you to expand/utilize your social circle and rely on those who want the best for you. 

If you don’t have anyone to confide in, sign up for therapy. You’ll find it much easier to let go of an ex who moved on if you talk to someone who listens. A good therapist will not just listen but also advise you on what to do and not do.

Feel free to reach out to us directly or join our Discord server if you want to talk about your breakup.

Once you’ve found the help you need, you should also establish an exercise routine. Tiring yourself out physically will release happy hormones, make you feel relaxed, and help you fall asleep at the end of the day.

Make sure to get a sufficient amount of daily exercise.

Medication such as anti-depressants are also a viable option. They help dumpees get their life back on track when all hope is lost.

You can also practice other relaxation techniques, such as meditation, yoga, praying, positive affirmations, and anything that helps you control your thoughts and emotions. It doesn’t matter what you do as long as it keeps you distracted and gives you purpose.

And, of course, don’t forget to work on yourself. Think about your mistakes, read relationship books, talk to your mentors, and do everything in your power to learn, improve, and disassociate from the person you were when you were with your ex.

This will help you not just become the best version of yourself but also allow you to forgive yourself for the mistakes you’ve made. Speaking about mistakes, you have to cut yourself some slack.

We all make mistakes.

We make them because we’re human and haven’t yet learned to not make them. If it weren’t for the breakup, you probably wouldn’t have realized you have things to work on. You would have remained oblivious to your shortcomings and the things you desperately needed to change.

So try to see the positive side of the breakup and start growing as a person. It will help you in your private as well as your romantic life.

To recap, here’s a picture that illustrates how to let go of an ex who has moved on.

As you can tell, letting go of an ex who moved on requires you to do many things at the same time. You can’t just do one thing and expect to forget about your ex right away.

Although you’ll probably move on even if you stalk your ex and harass your ex to the point of getting a restraining order against you, it will probably take you twice or thrice as long to fully recover.

This is especially true if you sign up for Tinder and hope to get over your ex by getting under someone else. Another person will most likely fail to meet your expectations and force you to rebound and get hurt.

So use the tips in this and other articles and fall back in love with yourself. Your self-esteem is probably one of the most important things that needs improving.

Everything will work out as long as you’re patient with yourself and do the things the breakup requires you to do.

What do you think is the best way to let go of an ex who has moved on? Do you have any tips to share? Post them in the comments below.

And if you want to talk to us about how to let go of an ex, subscribe to 1-on-1 coaching with us.

Zan

My name is Zan and I’m the founder of Magnet of Success. I enjoy writing realistic relationship and breakup articles and helping readers heal and grow. With more than 5 years of experience in the self-improvement, relationship, and breakup sphere, my goal is to provide advice that fosters positivity and success and avoids preventable mistakes and pain. Learn more about me or get in touch today.