I Want My Ex’s New Relationship To Fail

Do you want your ex’s new relationship to fail? What are you hoping to get out of it?

If you want your ex to get back together with you, you’re essentially craving your ex’s validation and don’t want your ex to be happy without you. You want your ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend to break up with the new person, realize your worth, acknowledge your value, love you, and spend time with you exclusively.

The time your ex spends with you and the emotions your ex pours into the relationship with you tell you that your ex values you and that he or she regrets leaving you and getting involved with some other person. The demise of your ex’s relationship would be a very empowering feeling for you.

So much so that it helps you deal with anxiety and depression and gives you a sense of control.

However, if you don’t want your ex back but just want your ex’s new relationship to fail, then you either don’t like the person your ex is with or you want your ex to fail and suffer. Either way, you want things to go your way because you’re not happy with your ex’s decision, happiness, or the way his or her relationship affects your kids.

Your ex probably looks happy because the relationship is new and exciting. Your ex and the new person are still getting to know each other—and you can’t stand them being so into each other. Your relationship wasn’t so flashy. Not toward the end at least.

That’s what makes you feel less important than you actually are and think that something’s wrong with you and that you’re not as desirable as you want to be.

The truth is you are desirable and valuable. You just don’t see it right now because your ex has abandoned you and found someone new to date before you fully detached.

You hoped your ex would take some time to himself or herself and avoid dating others, but instead, your ex got involved with the first person who showed interest and showed a lack of respect and care toward your healing and self-esteem.

Your ex’s decisions basically made you wonder if you even knew your ex and if your ex is going through some kind of (temporary) phase during which he or she turns into a completely different person and acts purely on emotions.

Although your ex indeed finds it hard and unnecessary to resist temptations and avoid getting into new relationships, it’s also true that your ex hasn’t changed into someone new. Your ex is just going through the dumper and the new relationship stages at the same time.

This implies your ex is feeling relieved from the breakup and elated by the new romantic partner at the same time. He or she is free and feels infatuated with the new person.

New relationships tend to make people lose their usual mental clarity and make them appear to have changed into different people. In reality, they’re just acting irrationally and instinctually. They haven’t changed a thing.

So if you want your ex’s new relationships to fail, know that you’re feeling threatened and invalidated by your ex’s new partner. You want your ex to show you that you matter and that because of the value you added to your ex’s life, your ex can’t have a fulfilling relationship with someone new that quickly.

You think or rather hope that your ex first has to grieve and accept that he or she will be missing the perks you added to the relationship.

But sadly, dumpers don’t need to accept anything. They don’t feel rejected and sad just because they no longer have the benefits they had with their ex. On the contrary, they feel elated and think the new person makes them feel better emotions than their ex.

Things are fresh and exciting, so they’re convinced they upgraded their romantic life and signed up for years of happiness and joy. Little do they know that new relationships are deceiving and that things get real pretty quickly.

Within a few months, couples get to know each other and discover each other’s negative traits and behaviors.

They also stop trying to impress each other and pretending to be someone they’re not. In other words, they get comfortable and start encountering everyday problems. If their ways of dealing with those problems aren’t very good, they begin to argue and damage the relationship.

I’m telling you this so you don’t judge your ex’s relationship by what you see and hear. Their relationship may appear great on the outside (especially if it’s new), but the truth may be buried deep beneath the surface. They are the only ones who know what their problems are and what they need to work on.

If they don’t know yet, their relationship is far too new to even consider it a serious relationship. They haven’t even gotten to the stage where they can put their problem-solving skills to the test. They still live in a fairy tale and must give their relationship more time.

In this post, we talk about why you want your ex’s new relationship to fail. We also give you some healthy tips (dos and don’ts) so you don’t try to ruin your ex’s relationship and look desperate or vengeful because of it.

Why do I want my ex’s new relationship to fail?

If your ex dumped you, it doesn’t take a genius to figure out why you want your ex’s new relationship to fail. You want it to fail because you have feelings for your ex and despise the idea of someone ex spending time with your ex and making your ex happy.

You want to be the one and only person who validates your ex and gets validated by. But because someone else is getting the perks you want for yourself, you get jealous and insecure and see your ex as the only person who can help you get rid of your separation anxiety, post-breakup fears, and unwanted thoughts.

You could just focus on yourself and rely on yourself for healing, but healing doesn’t happen overnight. The breakup requires weeks or months of healing and self-prioritization to feel better, so the pain you feel is probably making you want to be with your ex more than ever.

It’s making you more eager for a deep emotional connection with the person you love.

You essentially want your ex’s new relationship to fail so you can prove to yourself, your ex, and others that you weren’t the problem and that your ex can’t just date someone else right after the breakup and have a happy ever after.

Before your ex can have a successful relationship with another person, your ex must acknowledge that he or she contributed to the breakup and then work on personal flaws.

By working on them rather than dating someone new, your ex can grow and show you that he or she values your commitment and effort and that he or she doesn’t want to hurt you and ruin your self-esteem.

Sadly, most dumpers don’t care about their ex’s feelings very much. They were unhappy in their relationship with their ex, so they think they deserve to be happy again and move on with someone else. Because of such beliefs, they often start dating other people very quickly and post their happiness on social media.

This severely affects their ex and makes their ex question his or her worth.

On the other hand, if you dumped your ex and worry about your ex dating someone else, then you probably had no choice but to dump your ex. You still had feelings for your ex and didn’t think your ex would find someone new to date that quickly.

You left your ex because your ex didn’t give you enough love or because your ex cheated, lied, or did something to destroy your trust.

It’s possible that by breaking up with your ex, you made it easier for your ex to monkey-branch to someone else.

In that case, you aren’t a dumper. You’re a dumpee because you wanted a relationship with your ex but weren’t getting what you deserved. Now that the breakup happened, you need to detach whereas your ex must continue to self-prioritize and do what he or she wants to.

Preferably, your ex shouldn’t be dating. But if your ex is, believe me when I say that your ex doesn’t care about how you get affected by it.

At the moment, you feel that your ex has moved on and that your ex is having a great time while you’re still processing things. You don’t understand how your ex can do that to you after everything you did for your ex. You expected your ex to be grateful and not to date anyone for a while out of courtesy and respect.

With that said, here’s why you want your ex’s new relationship to fail.

Since you want your ex’s relationship to fail, figure out why you want that. What about your ex’s new relationship stresses you and what kind of satisfaction you would get from their relationship ending?

When you understand why you want it to end, you’ll also understand that your ex’s relationship is out of your control and that whether the relationship ends or continues, your life will go on.

You’ll be okay either way because your ex’s life no longer concerns you.

It only concerns you at this moment because you’re attached to your ex and have expectations of him or her. This will change when you stop checking up on your ex and fall back in love with yourself. It could take a while to fully let go of the attachment you have with your ex.

But if you focus on yourself and try to rebuild your self-esteem, you’ll feel better and stronger every day. Eventually, you’ll heal to the point where you no longer rely on your ex emotionally and see the benefits of the relationship ending.

What to do when you want your ex’s new relationship to fail

If you want your ex’s new relationship to fail, you need to know that your ex’s failures and suffering are only short-term solutions to your problems.

They don’t transform your life in positive long-lasting ways that would help you have a better relationship with yourself and others.

All they do is make you feel a little bit better (in control) because you see that your ex got hit by karma and that he or she can’t keep moving forward, ignoring shortcomings, and pretending you were the problem.

When that happens, your ex will need to address those problems and pain just like you needed to. This could be therapeutic for you as you could finally feel that things are even and that you can move forward with your life.

When your ex stops rushing and gets hurt, you’ll get the satisfaction you crave because you’ll finally see that your ex isn’t as perfect as you thought and that you stayed with your ex longer than the new person.

You stayed because you loved your ex and had more to offer.

Most dumpees want their ex’s relationship to fail because they want their ex back. They want their ex to come back and validate them and accept them for who they are.

Dumpees feel lost and worthless without their ex (at least initially). That’s why they often beg and plead and run after their ex as if their ex is the one and only.

You may not be making these breakup mistakes, but you are currently focusing on your ex. You didn’t focus on your ex this much when you were still a couple, so you shouldn’t focus on your ex now either.

You should be looking for ways to wean off your ex and rebuild your self-esteem. Once you’ve rebuilt it, you’ll accept the breakup fully and no longer feel the need to witness the end of your ex’s new relationship. You’ll be okay with your friends and family and the way things are.

Heck, you might even be with someone else. The point is, you won’t feel the way you do right now when you’re over your ex. You’ll have found closure and internal peace.

So don’t do anything stupid.

Anything stupid includes:

• getting overly drunk and arguing with your ex
• texting your ex’s new partner and “warning” him or her about your ex’s behavior
• breaking your ex’s window
• sending your ex gifts
• revealing your ex’s secrets
• posting your ex’s pictures
• demanding explanations
• accusing your ex of things you aren’t certain of
• trying to ruin your ex’s relationships

There are many guides online that claim you can destroy your ex’s relationship and be with your ex, but they’re completely unrealistic and stupid. If you try to drive a wedge between your ex and his or her new partner, your ex will think you’re insane and jealous and treat you like a crazy ex.

The dumper may be able to apologize and tell the dumpee that he or she is sorry and ready for a relationship, but the dumpee can’t do that.

The dumpee got rejected once already, so lowering pride and reaching out while the dumper is extremely excited to get to know the other person will only get the dumpee rejected again. It will make the dumpee see that the dumper has moved on and found someone else to be with.

This can force the dumpee to fall into depression again and experience suicidal thoughts.

So if you want your ex’s new relationship to fail, don’t say or do anything to your ex, your ex’s partner, your ex’s family and friends, and anyone who knows your ex. It doesn’t matter whether you want to be with your ex or just see your ex admit that he or she had problems to work on too.

If your ex is with someone else already, your ex and his/her new partner are the only ones responsible for their relationship. They must communicate properly, express gratitude, opinions, and differences, and maintain their relationship to the best of their abilities.

And they must do these things alone. Others can suggest things, but they can’t push their agendas onto them.

Therefore, the best way for your ex’s new relationship to fail is to let it fail naturally (on its own). They must be left alone to choose their own path. If they lack the drive to communicate and work on themselves, chances are they’ll make similar mistakes when they stop feeling infatuated with each other.

And unresolved mistakes will make them feel resentful or drained of love and force them to break up.

So again, no matter how much you love or despise your ex, don’t try to break up your ex’s new relationship. You won’t be able to do that even if you try. You’ll just push your ex away and feel even more desperate to have a say in your ex’s life.

As a dumpee, you must understand that you lack the power to influence your ex and that it’s immoral and completely pointless to try to destroy your ex’s new relationship. You’ll feel much better if you protect your karma, focus on healing, and do your best to let go of control.

Do you want your ex’s new relationship to fail? Why do you want it to fail so badly? Let us know if this article helped you figure some things out and if it dissuaded you from taking revenge and causing problems for your ex. We’d love to hear your thoughts on this.

However, if you’d like to talk to us about your urge to see your ex’s new relationship fail, subscribe to coaching with us.

Zan

My name is Zan and I’m the founder of Magnet of Success. I enjoy writing realistic relationship and breakup articles and helping readers heal and grow. With more than 5 years of experience in the self-improvement, relationship, and breakup sphere, my goal is to provide advice that fosters positivity and success and avoids preventable mistakes and pain. Learn more about me or get in touch today.