Should You Post Your Ex Online For Revenge?

Back in the day, there used to be many revenge websites on which you could post pictures of your ex and ruin your ex’s life. Luckily today, most of those websites have already been shut down and are much harder (but not impossible) to find.

There are just too many website owners and users posting and hoarding content every day for authorities to manually check all websites and remove them before they grow in size and popularity.

Most illegal websites can be found through search engines such as Google and Bing. But there are also websites that are hidden from regular users.

Those websites are hosted on the dark web, which is essentially a place where users can post legal and illegal content privately with a significantly lower risk of getting caught.

Some people estimate that the dark web makes up as much as 5% of the internet, but fortunately, not everything on the dark web is illegal. Most of it is actually safe. it’s just the illegal websites that make the dark web notorious.

With that being said, the sole purpose of this article is to dissuade vengeful dumpers and dumpees from posting (nude) pictures of their exes on websites and social media without their exes’ consent.

If you find this topic disturbing and/or difficult to read, please close the page. Hit the back button or close the tab/browser.

Is it illegal to post pictures of your ex?

If you’re thinking of posting pictures of your ex online, you need to stop thinking about it right away. Not only would that be reckless of you, but posting sexual pictures of your ex classifies as revenge porn and is illegal.

A quick Google search shows that you could receive up to two years of prison time for this crime. Possibly even up to ten years if you bully your ex into self-harm and suicide.

So don’t post your ex’s pictures without your ex’s consent or you could seriously hurt your ex, end up behind bars, and ruin your career and personal life.

I know it can feel tempting to see your ex suffer (especially if your ex cheated on you and left you for someone else), but there are some things in life you mustn’t do.

You mustn’t abandon your principles of conduct and do the most impulsive thing you can think of. That would indeed hurt your ex and get you your sweet revenge, but it’d also turn you into a vengeful person with one of the most toxic deeds on your record.

Maybe you wouldn’t get reported and arrested, but what’s even worse is that you’d have to live with the consequences of your own guilt. You’d live knowing you’d hurt your ex and still continue to hurt him or her every day.

This is something you could have a hard time forgiving yourself for because you’d know your ex’s pictures or videos got copied and spread all over the internet.

If you’re young and/or if you haven’t developed your sense of right and wrong yet, you probably don’t understand what I’m talking about today.

But one day (probably when you have a new partner and a family of your own), you’ll think back and wish you hadn’t ruined your ex’s life over something so unimportant.

So if you’re contemplating posting pictures of your ex online for revenge, don’t do it. You won’t feel better long and you certainly won’t help your ex. You’ll just drag your ex down with you.

Do you know what most prisoners say? “I don’t know what I was thinking. I would take it all back if I could.” This tells you that most of them regret their actions. But despite regretting it, they aren’t able to fix the damage they’ve caused. Some things are impossible and too late to fix.

Let this serve as a reminder that you shouldn’t post your ex on revenge websites where you could expose your ex for cheating on you or dumping you. Life is way too precious for you to throw it away because someone didn’t treat you the way you wanted to be treated.

If you aren’t concerned about what you will think of yourself months or years later, think about what others will think of you. Your friends will think you can’t be trusted, your family that you’re dangerous, and your own kids (if or when you have them) that you lack control over your thoughts and actions.

Ask yourself this, “Would I be okay with some man or woman ruining my son’s/daughter/s life with revenge porn? Would I turn a blind eye to it?“

Chances are you wouldn’t. And neither would your ex-girlfriend’s or ex-boyfriend’s parents who wish to protect their child.

You aren’t a bad person for thinking about taking revenge on your ex

I’d like you to know that you aren’t a bad person for contemplating instant revenge.

Many dumpees (especially inexperienced ones and those who got betrayed by their ex) experience hateful thoughts and imagine horrible things happening to their ex.

Such dumpees are extremely hurt by something their ex did, so they consider taking revenge because they think revenge will alleviate the pain and the injustice that was caused to them.

The truth though is that posting pictures of their ex naked won’t take their problems away. It might temporarily make them feel better because they would feel the satisfaction from harming a person who has harmed them, but that satisfaction would be very short-lived.

It might last a day or two, but soon, they would go back to feeling hurt and abandoned and wish that their ex would apologize, give them attention, or come back.

This is because vengeful dumpees wish to hurt their ex so they can feel better—and not necessarily because they want to ruin their ex’s life.

Ruining their ex’s life by posting revenge pictures is merely their pathway to healing, which is why when they hurt their ex and heal, all they have left are their impulsive actions.

I know that holding back from getting back at your ex can be extremely difficult. (I’ve been there myself). But if you’re thinking about doing something to hurt your ex, know that you won’t have the last laugh.

You might feel in control of your ex’s life for a brief moment and chant to yourself, “Ha, you shouldn’t have messed with me” for a day or two. But when the word comes back around to your friends and family and they learn what you’ve done, their respect for you is going to plummet so low, it’s going to make a hole in the ground.

So if you want the best for yourself, control your need for vengeance and justice. Remember that everyone makes mistakes, but that your revenge will be much more than just a mistake.

It will be an immoral act that will complicate your ex’s life as well as yours.

How to stop yourself from posting pictures of your ex on social media/revenge sites?

You won’t be able to stop yourself from hurting your ex unless you become aware of your malicious thoughts and emotions, ponder about them for a while, and occasionally ask yourself if posting pictures of your ex is the morally right thing to do.

These are the most important things you must do to stop yourself from acting on impulse and hurting your ex.

Just keep in mind that your need for vengeance may not disappear overnight. It will probably return when your pain and longing for recognition increase.

My advice is to accept that your healing will take time and that you should fight the temptations to hurt your ex whenever they arise.

Here are 6 ways you can do that:

• Journal your thoughts and emotions. Write down how you feel and why hurting your ex on purpose is wrong (come up with at least 3 reasons). Whenever you have a difficult time controlling yourself, read your notes and add your feelings next to them.
• Remind yourself that you’re healing and that your anger is a part of your detachment process. Brokenhearted dumpees go through 5 stages of a breakup for the dumpee. One of the stages they encounter is the anger stage during which they fight rejection, injustice, or depression—often by feeling a lot of anger and resentment toward their ex.
• Practice relaxation techniques such as deep breathing, yoga, meditation… They will allow you to keep your unwanted thoughts, anger, and anxiety under control and help you cope with the breakup.
• Seek professional help. The fact that you’re experiencing revenge thoughts indicates that there’s a lot of healing you must do. A professional could help you address some of your reasons for suffering and guide you in the right direction.
• Talk to your friends about it. Tell them you’re having a difficult time detaching from your ex and that you don’t know anyone else to turn to. If they care about you and want to help you, they will listen to you no matter how tedious it may seem.
• Distract yourself. It won’t be easy to stop thinking about your ex, but doing something you enjoy is better than doing nothing. Try to focus on old and new hobbies and the things that give meaning to your life.

How to get revenge on your ex?

If you want your ex to learn his or her lesson, posting your ex’s pictures online obviously isn’t the best way to go about it. You’ll appear much more emotionally stable and in control of your life if you get revenge the way mature people do – by succeeding in life.

This is the way to do it because your life will have a purpose and will no longer revolve around your ex.

So don’t seek revenge in ways that directly hurt your ex. Instead, get ahead of your ex by investing in areas of your life that your ex (but mostly others) will admire.

You can do that by:

• controlling your emotions and showing people that you won’t do something impulsive because of someone as unimportant as your ex
• using your pain and anger to excel at work, physical activity, sports, etc
• focusing on something productive (hobbies, goals, ambitions, self-improvement)
• trying to become more selfless (helping people in need, volunteering)
• becoming more grateful for things and people that are in your life
• enjoying your post-breakup life by making the best out of it
• expanding your social circle and making more friends
• learning more about relationships as well as yourself

There’s so much you can do to improve the quality of your life.

You can read, write, learn, create, build, grow, advise, travel, experiment, help, support, socialize, and work on accepting the past even though it’s painful.

These things will make your ex envy you or respect you. Maybe even both.

Remember that the only thing malice proves is that your ex left a hole in your chest and that you lack control of yourself.

A piece of advice regarding sexual pictures

I’d like to conclude this article by giving you a piece of advice about taking intimate pictures with your boyfriend or girlfriend.

Whether you’re a guy or a girl, you need to be extra careful about taking these kinds of pictures because you never know what your partner, or rather, your ex-partner will do. I think you shouldn’t risk it unless you know your partner’s moral values and most importantly, the way your partner acts and reacts when he or she is angry.

I wish I could say how many years you need to spend with your partner before you can assume it’s safe to take private pictures with him or her, but unfortunately, time on its own is not a reliable factor for measuring a person’s moral values and predicting his or her behavior if things go south.

What can be reliable though is getting to know a person at his or her worst; how a person handles arguments, conflicts, stressors, negative emotions, misunderstandings, and differences as it’s the bad things that determine how your partner will act after the breakup.

Sometimes you can also make an accurate prediction by learning how your partner behaved during and after his or her previous relationship.

Was your partner angry, vengeful, disrespectful, impulsive, or verbally and physically abusive? If he was, there’s a chance that he hasn’t reflected on his behavior and made necessary improvements yet.

In my opinion, such a person isn’t worth gambling on. At least not until he has proven to be trustworthy.

Usually, it’s guys who are eager about taking explicit pictures and posting them online after the breakup. But sometimes (although much less frequently, girls do it too). My advice is to avoid taking these pictures unless the person you’re with is mature and cares about his or her actions.

Are you thinking of posting pictures of your ex online? Leave your comment below.

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