If you want to get your ex back, you must understand that it will be difficult to reconcile without begging and even more difficult with begging. Begging will guilt-trip and annoy your ex whereas no begging will put your ex in charge of his or her life and let your ex think, feel, and do what he or she wants.
If your ex feels like ignoring you, your ex will ignore you. And if your ex feels like seeing other people and posting them on social media, your ex will do that too.
Your words and actions won’t be able to stop your ex from moving on and being happy. They’ll only make things worse because they’ll tell your ex that you haven’t accepted the breakup and that you’re still trying to control things.
As a dumpee, you’ll need to accept the fact that you can’t get your ex back on your terms – by talking to your ex and making your ex see what a caring, supportive, and valuable partner you are.
Even if your ex sees your commitment to the relationship or willingness to change and be the partner that he or she wants you to be, your ex won’t take you back.
Your ex will still feel forced to focus on you and invest in you (his/her ex). This will disrupt his or her post-breakup independence and freedom and make your ex want to spend time with anyone but you.
So bear in mind that you shouldn’t try to reconcile with the dumper. If you try to get your ex back by warming up to your ex, your ex will smell your intentions a mile away and lose more respect for you.
Your ex will see that you’re eager or desperate for love and attention and that you want to get back together way more than him or her.
This will cause your detached ex to feel overprioritized and suffocated and make him or her run for the mountains.
When trying to reconcile with an ex, you must shift focus from “How to get your ex back without begging” to “How can I make my ex want me back.” Although you can’t force your ex to do something he or she doesn’t want, you can focus on yourself and give your ex time to change his or her perception of you.
Time on its own likely won’t make your ex regret leaving you, but it will give your ex a chance to be free and do the things he or she had been meaning to do. It will let your ex hang out with other people, engage in new and old hobbies, and seek fulfillment elsewhere.
If your ex can’t find what he or she is looking for and realizes that he or she had a better life with you, your ex will quickly become regretful and ring you up. During the conversation, your ex will likely appear nervous and ask to meet up.
By doing so, your ex will give you your stolen power back and put you in charge of reconciliation. This is how you’ll get your ex back without begging and embarrassing yourself.
I know you don’t want to wait for your ex to explore other options, realize your romantic worth through (romantic) failure, contact you, and admit to taking you for granted, but that’s the only way to keep your dignity and pride.
It’s the only way to let your ex come to you and see you as an equal.
Begging, communicating, hanging out, sleeping together, helping your ex, and trying to get your ex to feel something for you won’t work. If it does work, your ex could leave again when he or she gets validation and the things he or she is after.
Sure, your ex could come back even if you settle for friendship. Your ex could keep you as a backup plan and monkey-branch back to you if his or her next relationship or challenges in life become too difficult to handle.
But since that would make you hold on to your ex for ages and tempt you to make breakup mistakes that overwhelm and anger your ex, it’s better to cease all communication as soon as possible.
Instead of putting your life on hold for someone who doesn’t want to be with you, give your ex the space he or she has asked for and preserve your worth. Focus on yourself rather than your ex and in doing so, present yourself as a confident, mature, and ambitious individual.
Your ex will respect you more and think about you more if you mind your own business and show you’re okay with the breakup. That’s because you’ll appear strong and mysterious and make your ex curious about you.
Getting back with an ex doesn’t require any apologizing, explaining, or convincing. It requires acceptance, patience, maturity, and understanding of breakups. The more you understand and respect your ex’s needs, the more likely that your ex will contact you and want you back when life gives him or her lemons.
So if you’re looking for information on how to get your ex back without begging, know that begging is only one of the breakup mistakes you must avoid. Other major mistakes include post-breakup friendship, communication, social media bragging, talking to mutual friends about your ex, and trying to make your ex jealous.
You must make sure to cut your ex out of your life completely and worry about getting yourself back. When you’re happy with who you are and what you’ve accomplished, you’ll be the most attractive you can be.
This is because you won’t have any romantic expectations of your ex and cravings for validation and support. You’ll be complete as a person and be able to give your ex reassurance and various relationship benefits.
In today’s article, we discuss how to get your ex back without begging and looking desperate.
How to get your ex back without begging?
First things first, no amount of rationalizing will make your ex have an epiphany and want you back. Your explanations won’t make your ex realize what a great person you are because your ex’s opinion of you is already formed.
He or she believes you’re not a great match and that you must give each other time and space to self-prioritize and do what you want to do.
You don’t have the right to tell your ex he or she is wrong about compatibility and that you should both try harder to be together.
You must remember that your ex has decided to break up and that your ex wants you to accept and respect his or her decision even if you don’t agree with it.
Your ex expects you to be mature and let him or her go no matter how hurt you are and how badly you want to be together.
Now that the relationship has ended, there is no more relationship to fight for. The relationship has transformed into a breakup and demands that you treat it as such. This means no texting, calling, begging, apologizing, threatening, manipulating, or in any way, shape, or form making your ex feel uncomfortable.
If you interact with your ex just because you’re anxious and in a hurry to reconcile, your ex will sense your need for validation a mile away. He or she will see you’re not ready to converse and that he or she isn’t ready and interested in conversing either.
In self-defense, your ex will then push you away (possibly by force) and make you wonder what you did wrong.
Before you find yourself getting rejected again, you need to understand that your ex associates negative beliefs and feelings with your persona. Your ex remembers you in a certain way and feels pressured and stressed just by seeing your face or hearing your voice.
You don’t need to say or do anything wrong to make your ex run for the hills. Your presence alone can trigger your ex’s resentment or unhappiness and cause your ex to ignore or block you.
So don’t think you need to turn the internet upside down and look for a perfect line (reconciliation plan) to reattract your ex. As far as I’m concerned, perfect ex-back plans don’t exist. They exist only on websites where these so-called “coaches” prey on dumpees’ anxiety and desperation.
If you value your emotions, time, money, and self-respect, accept that there’s no quick way to get back with your ex. The only way to get back with someone who abandoned you is to walk away with your head held high and wait for that person to change his or her mind.
If your ex gets in trouble and lacks the tools to deal with problems, your ex could contact his or her recent exes to lean on. Your ex could contact you, provided you know your worth and possess the strength, knowledge, and ability to help yourself and your ex.
The reconciliation also depends on how your ex deals with stressors and perceives exes. If your ex has good coping mechanisms, thinks poorly of you, and has a strong no-getting-back-with-exes policy, your ex probably won’t come back even if you do everything right.
Your ex won’t feel the need to because your ex will stay convinced that the breakup was crucial for his or her health and well-being.
Some dumpers change their mind about not going back to exes, but such a change in thinking normally requires something painful and out of their control. Something or someone needs to hurt them, affect their self-esteem, make them nostalgic, and crave validation and love.
They don’t come back simply because they miss their ex. They need to miss their ex romantically, have common goals and values, and want to feel secure with their ex. When they think and feel their ex is the right person for them, they stop what they’re doing and run back to their ex faster than greased lightning.
All you have to do when your ex wants you back is examine your ex’s reason for coming back and take your ex back on a trial period. During the trial period, you must let your ex prove his or her changes and commitment to you so that you can decide if getting back together is even worth the time and effort.
So if you want to know how to get your ex back without begging and pleading, start by leaving your ex alone for a while. Go no contact with your ex and show your ex you won’t beg for another chance or settle for less than you deserve (friendship/friendship with benefits).
This will tell your ex that you accept the separation and respect him or her as well as yourself.
When you start no contact, you have some work to do. Figure out why the breakup happened (if you haven’t done that yet and gotten closure), work on yourself, discover your ex’s negative traits, get busy, find your purpose, and detach from your ex.
These things will make you look and feel attractive and help you deal with breadcrumbs properly when your ex decides to check up on you. They won’t reattract your ex (your ex will need to fail in some important way and get hurt first), but they will make your ex respect you and perhaps even doubt leaving you.
Consider the positive things you do and accomplish after the breakup preparations for when your ex hits a snag and needs your help with self-love, safety, direction in life, and feelings of regret. That’s when your improvements will truly impress your ex and make your ex want them to be a part of his or her life.
Until then, keep in mind that you can get your ex back by leaving your ex to his or her devices and making your ex want you back on his or her own. If it’s the other way around (you wanting your ex back), your ex will have total control of the breakup and your emotions and won’t feel any urgency to get back with you.
With that said, here’s how to get your ex back without begging.
What if my ex doesn’t come back?
If you avoid begging for another chance and your ex doesn’t come back, you must remember that reconciliation with your ex depends mainly on your ex; particularly on your ex’s predicaments and ways of dealing with those predicaments.
As a dumpee, you have very little control over your ex’s thoughts and feelings. The most you can do is avoid angering your ex and giving your ex additional reasons to dislike you and stay away from you.
If your ex doesn’t come back despite giving your best, there’s nothing you can do to change your ex’s feelings. You can’t influence your ex when he or she hasn’t found the desire or need to reflect and regret leaving.
Your ex should, therefore, be left alone. Don’t message your ex just because you think you have nothing to lose. There’s always something to lose; starting with your pride and healing progress. You can destroy your healing and continue to chase after your ex.
Besides, if your ex doesn’t come back after a few months, it doesn’t mean that your ex never will. Some dumpers come back years after the breakup. They need a lot of time to get back with their ex because they first need to get their hopes up about something or someone before they get their hopes crushed.
You can’t rush the reconciliation process. It has to start naturally on your ex’s terms. Once it has begun, you can then take control of it and express what you need to trust again.
But until you’re certain your ex wants you back, stay in no contact and focus on detachment and healing. Your opinion of your ex and the urge to control the situation will change once you get rid of the separation anxiety and discover your worth.
Give it some time and you’ll see that the most important person is you, not your ex.
Did you learn how to get your ex back without begging and degrading yourself? Do you have any tips of your own to share? Let me know in the comments area below the post.
However, if you’re looking for help directly from us, check out our coaching options and get in touch.
