Couples Who Break Up And Get Back Together Years Later

We sometimes see couples who break up get back together years later. These couples normally stop communicating for a while, focus on themselves and their friends, process the breakup, date other people, fail with those people, and then return to each other to give the relationship another try.

It’s through failure and discontent that they realize their ex’s worth and give each other another try.

There are many reasons why couples get back together years later. But the biggest ones are that they:

• give each other time to process things
• disassociate unhealthy perceptions from each other
• see for themselves that the grass isn’t greener on the other side
• get hurt and become anxious
• and reflect on their relationship and the past and discern that their ex was the best for them

Couples who break up and get back together years later do so organically. They don’t force each other to commit while one of them is still dating someone else and enjoying the new post-breakup life.

If someone (usually the dumpee) tries to force reconciliation, he or she is usually met with resistance and experiences rejection and pain. This pain can be quite severe if the dumpee refused to get some distance from the dumper and failed to lower his or her expectations of the dumper.

Couples must get back together when they both want to get back together. It sounds unnecessary to say this, but people who get dumped often don’t get this. They have strong beliefs that they must work on the relationship with their ex and give it their best even though there is no more relationship to work on.

There are just two people who had months of time to fix their problems and differences. But instead of fixing them, they neglected them or blamed each other for them.

If they push each other to commit while they still associate negativity with each other, they could make each other feel uncomfortable and force an unwanted response out of each other.

So if you’re trying to figure out how couples who break up get back together years later, know that they normally fall back in love with each other much later when things don’t go according to plan for them. That’s when they allow love (which is a desire for affection and validation) to enter their systems and bring them closer to each other.

You need to understand that dumpers have a lot of work to do before they can see their ex in a better light. And unfortunately, not all dumpers do the work. Many dumpers feel smothered or repulsed and don’t want to change the way they see their ex.

They often prefer to hold grudges or consider their ex to be unworthy of their love as doing so empowers them, feels good to them, and makes them feel victimized. The only time they improve their perception of their ex is when their ex respects himself or herself and gives them enough time to get in some kind of trouble.

Trouble can be anything that makes them feel difficult emotions such as anxiety and pain and causes them to engage in introspection.

In today’s article, we’ll talk about couples who break up and get back together years later. We’ll discuss what brings them back together and why time is an essential component.

Couples who break up and get back together years later

Most people who get broken up with want their ex back right away. They don’t care that their ex needs space and time to process the breakup. They’re in too much pain to wait days, let alone months or years for their ex to change their mind. That’s why they often act on their anxiety and do something that lowers their ex’s respect for them as well as their chances of getting back together with their ex.

Sometimes they beg and plead and other times they message or call their ex and try to stay close to their ex through communication. Dumpees simply don’t like the idea of waiting. At least not initially because they’re suffering from separation anxiety and badly want to get back with their ex.

They’re so hurt that they’re prepared to do whatever it takes to win their ex’s trust and love back. Little do they know that their ex doesn’t want to be won back. Their ex wants to be left alone so that he or she can recover from the breakup in ways that he or she needs to.

But if the dumper feels so smothered and uncomfortable, then why do couples get back together years later?

Couples get back together years later because they deal with unwanted emotions and feel positive emotions. And when they feel positive emotions, they feel drawn toward their exes and eager to reconnect emotionally and romantically.

Not all couples who break up get back together years later. But those who do, find incentives to do it. Those incentives normally consist of strong realizations backed by strong emotions. The stronger the realizations are, the bigger the chances that exes will get back together and stay together.

This is because strong desires for reconciliation create respect and love and make it possible for couples to have a new beginning.

So if you’re trying to learn more about couples who get back together after years, bear in mind that getting back together years later is much healthier and more likely to work than getting back together after a few weeks or months.

People tend to learn more after their breakup and improve their ex’s perception the less they see their ex and the more issues they experience after the breakup. If they date someone and get betrayed by their person, they can realize that their ex was loyal to them and that they may have let go of someone who always treated them fairly.

It’s a shame that people take years to have epiphanies, but that’s the way life works. People learn from experience, failure, and pain the most.

Here’s a picture showing why exes get back together years later.

It takes couples years to get back together because that’s how long they need to fail and/or get hurt and reflect on their life decisions. They can’t have an epiphany quicker than life allows them to have an epiphany if that makes sense.

Therefore, dumpees must wait for their exes to encounter something difficult and painful.

Something painful can be:

• a breakup
• romantic rejection
• fallout with friends and family
• illness
• problems at work
• and anything that causes anxiety and depression

When they get hurt, dumpers quickly let go of their resentments and become much more open to giving the relationship another try. I’m not saying that dumpers can’t come back without getting hurt, but it’s much more likely that they’ll come back when they’re in pain and want someone familiar (someone they’re close to (or were close to)) to patch their wounds.

As a dumpee, you need to step back from the situation and let your ex go through painful/undesirable emotional processes. When he or she does, your ex will probably contact you and put in the work you’ve been wanting your ex to put in.

Time plays an important role in reconciliations

Just as relationships need a healthy mentality, so too do breakups need a lot of positive thinking and forgiveness. Ex-couples need to let go of each other, process anger, discontent, or repulsion, work on their shortcomings, and distract themselves.

In doing so, they can forget about each other for a while and allow themselves to start anew when they get an opportunity to do so. An opportunity normally comes when their perceptions of each other improve and when they feel the desire or need to give and receive love.

That’s when they can start a completely new relationship and set new boundaries. Boundaries that make them more committed, more self-aware, better communicators, and better prepared for a serious long-term relationship.

The only problem is that exes can’t make all the necessary improvements without actively working on them. They have to be extremely committed to self-improvement and need months (sometimes years) of time to learn from breakups and become the best versions of themselves. If they don’t give each other time, they normally disrupt each other’s healing/improvement process and ruin their progress.

So if your ex broke up with you and you’re wondering if couples who break up get back together years later, know that they do. They don’t always reconcile, but when they do, they have a much higher chance of happiness and long-term success than those who get back together days, weeks, or even months after breaking up.

Time can help dumpees grow and dumpers become more determined and committed. So don’t think that couples either reconcile right away or never. Sometimes years have to go by for dumpers to learn their lessons and develop the desire to be with their ex again.

In some cases, decades have to go by as dumpers get married and live a new life. No two people are alike, so be prepared for it to take as long as it takes. I don’t mean you must put your life on hold and wait for your ex. But do be aware of the possibility that it could take your ex a very long time and that you could get over your ex before your ex reaches out and wants you back.

You could break up again

The worst thing about getting back with an ex is that your ex could leave you again. Your ex could once again give up on you and break your heart. That’s why before you get back with your ex, make sure that your ex wants you back to invest in you, not just to take from you.

You can tell your ex is serious about you by observing your ex’s plans for the relationship and the way your ex treats you. His or her attitude is extremely important as an ex who respects you, loves you, and wants to be with you will be highly receptive to you, apologetic, and ready to do anything you need him or her to do. Anything within reason, of course.

So make sure that your ex wants to invest in the relationship and that your ex has improved or is ready to improve in ways that you need him or her to. Don’t take this part lightly because you don’t want to experience another heartbreak. You can avoid it if you stand up for yourself and either accept your ex back on a trial period or reject your ex if you notice that he or she wants power and control, and appears to be cold or indecisive.

If the dumper is unreceptive after getting back together, you can be 100% certain that he or she won’t warm up to you over time. The dumper will keep detaching and losing patience and eventually push you away again.

Although the likelihood of an ex wanting you back for the right reasons increases with time spent away from your ex, it’s not a guarantee that your ex has fixed the most important issues and become ready to commit to you. Always make sure that it’s safe to give your ex a chance before you let him back into your heart.

What do you think about couples who break up and get back together years later? Do you know anyone who got back together and made it work? Let us know below the post.

And if you wish to discuss getting back together after years with us privately, consider signing up for breakup coaching.

Zan

My name is Zan and I’m the founder of Magnet of Success. I enjoy writing realistic relationship and breakup articles and helping readers heal and grow. With more than 5 years of experience in the self-improvement, relationship, and breakup sphere, my goal is to provide advice that fosters positivity and success and avoids preventable mistakes and pain. Learn more about me or get in touch today.