3 Biggest Signs Your Ex Is Waiting For You

Before we talk about the 3 biggest signs your ex is waiting for you, we need to make some things clear. Most dumpers (99% or more) don’t wait for their exes after they’ve broken up with them. If they still loved them, they simply wouldn’t have broken up with them in the first place.

They would have stayed in the relationship with them, worked on their problems, and given their exes a chance to improve while they were still committed to them. That’s how they would have “waited” for their exes to grow and allowed their own mentalities, patience, and maturity to grow.

The sad truth is that breakups don’t help dumpers evolve. Breakups terminate the relationship and indicate that dumpers don’t want to wait anymore. They think they’ve waited long enough for their ex to change and their relationship to improve and that it’s finally time to prioritize their life and feel positive emotions.

Feeling positive emotions (aka distracting themselves) allows them to distance themselves from problems (not solve them) and helps them see and feel that breaking up was the right thing to do.

So if you’re looking for signs your ex is waiting for you, keep in mind that you won’t find these signs in an ordinary breakup (the kind of breakup most people have). Most breakups happen because the dumper loses feelings, attraction, willpower, commitment, and the desire to grow individually as well as a couple.

All the dumper wants after the breakup is to focus on his or her problems and feelings and move on from the dumpee. By “move on,” I don’t mean that the dumper needs to detach the way dumpees do. I mean that he or she must get some space from the dumpee so he or she can process negative post-breakup emotions and feel in control of his or her life again.

When the dumpee finds inner balance, the dumper initially doesn’t see any reason to return. Happiness doesn’t make the dumper come back. Especially if the dumper meets someone else and wants to get serious with that person. What causes the dumper to return is unhappiness.

The less happy the dumper is, the higher the chances that the dumper will ponder about the dumpee, become nostalgic, and see the dumpee as a means to fixing his or her problems and undesirable emotions.

So try not to stay hopeful unless you know your ex is leaving the door open by giving you signs that he or she is waiting for you to say, do, or prove something.

Today, we talk about the 3 biggest signs your ex is waiting for you. Keep in mind that in this post, the ex is the dumper. If you’re looking for signs that your dumpee ex is waiting for you, then pretty much everything is a sign. The breakup itself is a sign your dumpee ex is waiting for you because you broke your ex’s heart and forced him or her to obsess about you for quite some time.

1)Your ex tells you he or she will be waiting for you

It doesn’t get more obvious than this. It’s clear that your ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend is waiting for you if your ex tells you that he or she is waiting for you to change something about yourself. This change could be anything self-destructive or destructive for the relationship.

I’m talking about bad habits such as excessive drinking, anger issues, unhealthy behavioral patterns, lying, hiding things, poor communication, cheating, disapproving parents meddling with the relationship, refusing to find work, being married to someone else, etc.

If your ex specifically tells you to fix something before he or she comes back, your ex hasn’t emotionally checked out yet. Your ex may be in the process of losing feelings and losing faith in you, but your ex is still somewhat receptive to you and open to the idea of reconnecting with you and working on the relationship.

Your ex just can’t do that until you’ve gotten rid of the issue (or issues) he or she broke up with you for. It’s an absolute must for your ex to see improvements before your ex can jump back into something that made him or her feel uncomfortable or disrespected.

So if your ex said that you’ve got to change something about yourself, the people around you, or the relationship itself, don’t bother your ex while the issue is still there. Instead, tell your ex that you understand his or her concern and that you’ll start working on it immediately.

That’s how your ex will be able to see that you care about his/her feelings and give the relationship another chance once you’ve made some healthy changes. Of course, there’s no guarantee that your ex will take you back because a lot can go wrong.

For example, your ex can fall in love with someone else or decide you’re not worth the wait, but your ex should still keep an eye on you for a while and perhaps even encourage you to persevere and succeed in getting rid of the problem.

It’s hard to say what your ex will do because it depends on the problem and your ex’s personality.

2)Your ex is acting like you’re together

An ex-girlfriend or ex-boyfriend who’s waiting for you could act like you’re still together. He or she could keep hanging out with you, talking to you, calling you pet names, visiting your family, sleeping with you, and doing things couples who love each other do.

This is because an ex who waits for you has romantic feelings for you and wants to be with you. It’s just that certain circumstances prevent your ex from dropping his or her guard and committing. Your ex doesn’t think it’s safe or wise to commit as your ex fears that the commitment would tell you to stop working on your flaws and that you’d soon find yourself in the exact same situation as before.

So if your ex is acting like you’re a couple but dreads committing to you, know that you have a sign your ex is waiting for you in the sense of observing your behavior and avoiding commitment. Your ex wants to take things super slow until he or she is certain you’ve changed or solved the problem.

Either that or your ex just wants to keep hanging out and doing things romantic partners do without ever again committing to you. That would imply that your ex wants the best of both worlds (friendship or friendship with benefits) and that your ex will stop interacting with you when he or she meets someone else.

Right now, it’s probably difficult to tell whether your ex wants to be your friend or partner because you’re anxious and feel hopeful. But one way to tell what your ex’s plans are is to figure out whether your ex still loves you. And you can figure out if your ex loves you by observing how receptive your ex is to you, how happy your ex is to spend time with you and help you, how often/the way your ex communicates with you, and whether your love and validation are important to your ex.

If your love is as important as it was before the breakup, you have one of the best signs your ex is waiting for you. Your ex’s need for affection indicates that your ex wants things to go back to normal but is apprehensive about it.

However, if your ex doesn’t need your love and shows you this by ignoring you, treating you poorly, and acting strange and cold toward you, then it’s safe to say that your ex doesn’t love you and has no intention of falling back in love with you and getting back together with you.

This is the harsh reality of breakups. Make sure to figure out if your ex wants to be involved, respects you, and loves you before you get your hopes up and think that your ex is waiting for you to mature or make a move.

3)Your ex keeps checking up on you

This is a tricky one because many dumpers breadcrumb their exes for selfish reasons such as guilt, friendship, emotional support, and convenience. They don’t intend to get back with their exes, but they still reach out to them and give the impression that they love their exes and want to be with them.

What you want to pay attention to is how your ex checks up on you and what your ex checks up on. If your ex reaches out to talk about unimportant matters such as work, health, and anything random, your ex isn’t checking up on your progress and finding ways to get back with you.

On the contrary, your ex has ulterior motives for reaching out that have nothing to do with reconciliation. In that case, you should ask your ex not to reach out anymore. Say that you need time to yourself and that you’ll let your ex know when you’re ready to converse.

The things you’re looking for from an ex after he or she has reached out are empathy, care, romantic feelings, romantic expectations, conversations about the future, or willingness to discuss relationship plans and the future. These things indicate that your ex still considers you a part of his or her romantic life and that your ex is waiting for an opportunity to trust you, confide in you, and talk about the way the new relationship will work.

You need to be patient, stay busy, work on your shortcomings, and let your ex see that you’re worth committing to.

If you’re impatient, you could pressure your ex, annoy your ex, or scare your ex off and make your ex even more hesitant to get back together with you in the future.

Right now, you need to decide how long you’re willing to give the dumper to realize your romantic value and cave into temptations.

Obviously, weeks is way too much time as someone who loves you won’t string you along for weeks. He or she will be very direct about the things you need to do or change and keep watching your progress.

So don’t let your ex lead you on for weeks. You’ll feel much better if you pull away after a couple of weeks and admit that your ex isn’t serious about wanting you back.

Signs your ex isn’t waiting for you

Some signs can be easily misinterpreted as dumpees are in a lot of pain and take dumpers’ words and actions to heart. That’s why we need to talk about signs that your ex isn’t waiting for you after the breakup as these signs will help you understand breakups better and keep your reconciliation hope low.

The first sign that your ex isn’t waiting for you is uncertainty. An uncertain (confused ex) may seem like he or she is considering giving you another chance, but your ex likely won’t do that. He or she will probably get tired of feeling pressured and unhappy and decide to pull away hard.

The second sign you need to be aware of is drunk dialing. An ex who calls you drunk usually does that because alcohol enhances his or her feelings of guilt, shame, and nostalgia. Some dumpers even cry and say they’ll always love their ex. They say such words because of strong negative emotions caused by the breakup rather than love and regret.

Another thing you could misinterpret as a sign that your ex is waiting for you is your ex breaking up with you without actually breaking up with you. If your ex left without properly ending things, this doesn’t mean that your ex is waiting to get back with you, but that your ex lacks the spine to express difficult emotions and say what needs to be sad.

A cowardly ex is just cowardly. He or she never thought about wanting to be with you. As a dumpee, you need to steer clear of any signs that aren’t direct. Always remember that your ex can express how he or she feels and that you don’t need to play detective.

You just need to focus on yourself and let your ex come to you.

I hope you’ve learned how to tell that your ex is waiting for you. If you have any questions or stories to share, post them below. We learn a lot from people commenting, so keep the comments coming!

And lastly, if you wish to discuss your breakup with us, get in touch with us here.