What Does It Mean When Your Ex Ignores You?

If your ex ignores you and you’re wondering what that means, you need to understand that ignoring usually happens for one of two reasons.

1. Your ex doesn’t respect you.
2. Or your ex feels hurt or uncomfortable by you.

Ignoring indicates that your ex isn’t ready or willing to speak with you because communication forces your ex to respond and go against his or her emotions and convictions. Communication tells your ex that you want to talk even though your ex has different plans for you.

Plans that include a period of silence, freedom, and independence.

The reasons behind ignoring, of course, vary for each person. But mainly, they depend on whether your ex is the dumper or the dumpee.

If your ex is the dumper, your ex probably isn’t ready to be friends with you yet. Your ex feels smothered and needs to get some emotional distance from you to let go of the negative emotions and associations created by the breakup. A bit of silence can help your ex get the space he or she needs very badly and allow your ex to get back on talking terms when or if your ex processes the breakup.

If your ex is the dumpee, however, then your ex is most likely in pain and doesn’t want to receive breadcrumbs (pointless texts) from you. Communication confuses your ex and gives your ex tons of false hope and anxiety. Your ex doesn’t see the need to respond to you and hear you talk about things that don’t concern him or her anymore. They would only give your ex a lot of unnecessary information to analyze and ponder about for days.

So all in all, both dumpees and dumpers ignore exes for the same reason. They don’t want to communicate because communication makes them feel unwanted emotions and makes it harder for them to forget the past and focus on themselves.

Texts and calls tend to force ex-couples to relive the breakup and reopen their wounds.

This post is for those who wonder what it means when your ex ignores you. We’ll clarify why dumpers and dumpees ignore each other and what you should do when your ex ignores you.

What does it mean when your dumpee ex ignores you?

If your dumpee ex ignores you after the breakup, it could mean that your ex is trying to get back at you, make you chase, keep you away forever, or stay away from you until you change your mind or until he or she gets over you.

Your ex’s actions show that your ex is over you and doesn’t like you anymore. But that’s only what actions show. The reality may be completely different. When a serious relationship ends, most dumpees need months of time to lose hope and get over the dumper. They can’t just connect with someone new and move on right away.

Not unless they wanted to break up and the dumper did them a favor.

Anyway, dumpees have to go through the stages of a breakup for the dumpee first and (as fast as their anxious brains let them) get their strength back. By staying away from their dumper (and properly dealing with their ex’s reach-outs) they can detach from their ex and stop caring about their ex’s thoughts and feelings.

They can be happy and emotionally independent again. That’s why so many dumpees commit to no contact, feel safe in no contact, and refuse to break the power of silence after a breakup just because their ex reached out and wanted to speak.

They may still have hope and feelings for their ex, but if they’re in control of their actions, they oftentimes decide to stay in control by ignoring their ex and showing their ex and proving to themselves and others that they respect themselves and don’t need their ex’s breadcrumbs.

You need to understand that dumpees’ feelings change over time. Many if not most dumpees are desperate for reconciliation for a month or two after the breakup (depending on their self-esteem and coping mechanism). But once they get back on their feet and lose some hope, their mentalities change.

They realize that talking to their ex is counterproductive and self-degrading and that it’s best for them and their ex’s respect for them to cut their ex off. Cutting people off who don’t want to be with them is crucial for their emotional health and well-being, so they stop communicating with anyone who hinders their well-being and growth.

Their recovery depends on it, which is why they normally stop talking to their ex when they get out of denial and see that their ex is stringing them along for selfish purposes. They do this by explaining what they’re about to do and asking for space or just starting no contact without any explanation or justification.

Occasionally, dumpees also ignore their exes for a few days to delay their responses. Some don’t know what to say to their ex whereas others use it as a strategy to show they’re doing well emotionally and that they aren’t in a hurry to hear from their ex and get back together.

Here’s a recap of what it means when your ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend ignores you as a dumpee.

What does it mean when your dumper ex ignores you?

If you reached out to your ex who dumped you and your ex ignored you, it’s evident that your ex doesn’t want to talk to you (yet). Your ex is still in the early stages of a breakup (or too resentful) and isn’t capable of communicating with you. The breakup emotions are too strong for your ex to have normal conversations and pretend everything’s okay.

Your ex would rather not talk because communication puts expectations on your ex. It makes your ex feel that you need something (which you do) and that he or she needs to fulfill those needs or you’ll give your ex a strong response that could guilt-trip your ex and make him or her feel uncomfortable.

Dumpers may be aware of the fact that you’re struggling emotionally and need them to feel better, but they don’t like feeling responsible for hurting you and making you dependent on them. They want to be free of responsibilities, commitments, and unhealthy emotions.

It’s why they break up with dumpers. They expect a clean transition from being in a relationship to being single (or with someone else) and can’t handle your overwhelming emotions and the emotions you make them feel. They can barely handle the way the breakup makes them feel, so talking with you or the thought of talking with you makes them extremely suffocated.

It brings back emotions they felt at the end of the relationship and brings a reaction out of them that matches their maturity, integrity, and self-control.

So if you’re wondering “What does it mean when your dumper ex ignores you,” know that it most likely means suffocation and frustration. Your ex is likely having a difficult time enjoying the post-breakup relief and thinks you’re not being mindful of his or her need for space.

Because your ex doesn’t have the skills to handle negative emotions, your ex decided to not deal with them at all. He or she did that by ignoring your reach-out and indirectly telling you that you need to stay away from him or her for your and your ex’s sake.

It’s also possible that your ex is ready to talk to you but that your ex is dating someone who isn’t fully on board with his or her partner talking to an ex. Or perhaps your ex somehow believes that ignoring you will cause less pain and suffering to you and that it’s the right thing to do. As you can see, there are quite a few possible explanations for your ex’s ignoring behavior.

But the most feasible explanation is that your ex hasn’t had enough time to stop feeling smothered and start feeling a desire to catch up and be your friend yet.

With that said, here’s what it means when your ex ignores you as a dumper.

What to do when your ex ignores you?

When your dumper ex ignores you, your ex sends you a very powerful and clear message. That message is that you aren’t welcome to reach out and that you must stay far away from your ex. Your ex (whether your ex is a man or a woman) doesn’t want to be chased and reasoned with.

Your ex doesn’t get his or her ego inflated by you anymore because your ex has lost respect for you. He or she will just get annoyed by you now and have never fewer reasons to converse with you.

If you got ignored by someone you loved very much, your ego and self-esteem probably took a toll. You feel like you mean nothing to this person anymore and that other people won’t find you worthy of love either.

But if you got ignored by a dumpee ex-partner, then you probably don’t feel rejected and hopeless as a human being. You’re just a bit surprised that someone you’d spent months or years with doesn’t respond to you anymore and would just ignore you.

Whatever side of the breakup you’re on, you need to avoid taking the ignoring personally. Try to take it on the chin instead and stop reaching out immediately. Remind yourself that one reach-out was more than enough and that it’s your ex’s turn now to respond to you and find out what you wanted.

The only exception to this statement is if you’re the dumper and want your ex back. In that case, you should reach out one final time and tell your ex that you’ve caused a lot of pain but that you’ve realized your mistakes and that if your ex still has feelings for you and forgives you that you won’t disappoint him or her.

Once you’ve sent that message, that’s it. You don’t send anything else. Not even birthday wishes. If your ex doesn’t get back to you, you should never contact your ex again. You need to respect yourself as well as your ex’s desire for space and silence and wait for your ex to throw the ball in your court.

We don’t know if your ex will do that. But your ex probably won’t if you keep pestering your ex and doing what’s best for you rather than your ex. Always remember that your ex doesn’t want the same things as you and that he or she doesn’t owe you anything.

Now that you’re exes, your ex can just focus on himself or herself and do whatever feels right. You need to accept that even if you had a change of heart and want your ex back right away. Do it so your ex doesn’t lose even more respect for you and force you to lose respect for yourself as well.

Why is my ex ignoring me when we agreed to be friends?

If you agreed to be friends and your ex is now ignoring you, your ex probably isn’t getting what he or she wanted to get out of the friendship. If your ex is the dumpee, your ex probably healed to the point where he or she regained self-esteem and self-respect and doesn’t see how being friends with you can benefit your ex.

Your ex thinks of post-breakup friendship as a hindrance and would rather be friends with people he or she doesn’t have feelings for and complicated pasts with.

But if your ex is the dumper and started ignoring you later, then the most reasonable explanation is that your ex couldn’t handle constant reminders of you and the expectations that came with it. Your ex probably felt like you never parted ways and felt obligated to respond to you.

This indicates that your ex started ignoring you because your ex couldn’t focus on himself or herself. Your ex felt like you were too close and that you still wanted a relationship despite agreeing to be friends. This is especially true if you kept inviting your ex out, sending your ex “I love yous,” and asking your ex what he or she felt about you.

Such behaviors suffocate dumpers and make them run for the hills. Dumpers just don’t know what to do with their ex’s overwhelming cravings, so they emotionally burn out and run away without a peep.

I hope this article helped you understand what it means when your ex ignores you after the breakup. If it did, post your comments below where the comments are.

And if it didn’t or you’d like to discuss your ex’s ignoring behavior with us, go to our coaching page to learn more about our services.

Zan

My name is Zan and I’m the founder of Magnet of Success. I enjoy writing realistic relationship and breakup articles and helping readers heal and grow. With more than 5 years of experience in the self-improvement, relationship, and breakup sphere, my goal is to provide advice that fosters positivity and success and avoids preventable mistakes and pain. Learn more about me or get in touch today.