What To Do If Your Ex Is In A Rebound Relationship?

A very common question dumpees ask themselves is, “What should I do if my ex is in a rebound relationship? Should I block my ex and move on or is there any hope left for me?” Before we talk about the game plan, you need to understand just how common it is for dumpers to monkey-branch into another romantic relationship.

Many if not most dumpers are so tired of their (long-term) relationship not making them happy that they eagerly connect with someone new and try their luck with that person. They don’t consider their branching to be immoral because they think they deserve happiness in life with a partner who understands them.

In their mind, they can do anything they want even if they end up hurting their ex’s feelings and appear happy while their ex is miserable. All that matters to dumpers who are in a new relationship is that they’re happy and that they don’t have to worry about their ex anymore.

Since your ex is moving on with someone new already, your ex has probably hurt you badly and affected your self-esteem. He or she made you think that you messed up badly in the relationship and that this new person will now have a better chance at having a successful relationship with your ex.

What you need to understand is that no matter who your ex is with, your ex will still be the same person. He or she will face very similar issues with this new person on top of some new ones. They won’t have a perfect relationship even though they’re infatuated with each other and appear to be a match made in heaven.

When they get to know each other, their chances of turning their new relationship into a long-term one won’t be any higher than yours were. That’s because they’ll have to learn to work together, practice healthy communication, express gratitude, avoid temptations, and much much more. They won’t have it easy just because they’re in love.

Finding someone to love is the easy part. Making the relationship work with is much harder.

Your ex may feel victimized and blame you for the end of the relationship now that you’re exes, but that doesn’t mean you’re solely to blame. Relationships consist of two people who need to give their absolute best. When someone stops investing in the relationship, the less-giving person makes the other person anxious and tends to take his or her efforts for granted.

That leads to a loss of feelings and the destruction of the relationship.

So if your ex is in a rebound relationship and you feel anxious, don’t blame yourself for your ex’s mistakes and flaws. You can acknowledge your mistakes so that you can work on them and fix them, but don’t think you’re more to blame than your ex. You were both equally responsible for maintaining the relationship.

But your ex decided to give up on you when things got difficult and began to pursue a new relationship with a person he or she knew nothing about.

In this article, we’ll talk about what you can do if your ex is in a rebound relationship.

What is a rebound relationship?

If your ex is the dumper and your ex started dating someone else right away, you need to understand something that may be unpleasant to hear. You won’t like it, but it’s unlikely that your ex’s new relationship is a rebound relationship. A rebound relationship is not something dumpees normally find themselves in.

It’s much more common for dumpees (not dumpers) to rebound with someone because they still have feelings for their ex and can’t emotionally disconnect from their ex and forget about their ex. They have a hard time regaining emotional independence as they need to go through the detachment process first.

Dumpers, on the other hand, have already gone through the detachment process. They took their time to detach prior to breaking up with their ex as they focused on doubting the relationship and feeling smothered or unhappy with their ex.

Since they’re already over their dumpee, dumpers typically don’t miss their ex in their new relationship. Sure, they compare their ex to their new partner and wonder what their ex is up to, but because they’re limerent with the new person, they’re more than happy to concentrate fully on their new partner.

Some dumpers also feel a bit guilty. But they tend not to start feeling guilty until they’ve gotten through the infatuation stage of a new relationship because that’s when they realize they haven’t considered their ex’s feelings.

So no matter how badly you want your ex’s new relationship to be a rebound relationship, try to think of your ex’s relationship as a normal relationship. If you think your ex will have a hard time connecting with another person, you’ll stay hopeful and keep waiting for your ex to return to you and make you feel loved.

And that’s not good because you’ll get stuck in the past and neglect yourself.

What if my ex really is in a rebound relationship?

If your ex’s new relationship is a rebound relationship, you can rest assured that your ex will return. He or she won’t be able to stay away from you for long because your ex will badly want to be a part of your life again and feel loved and validated.

Your ex can try to feel loved by someone else, but that will backfire on your ex and hurt your ex because your ex is still attached to you and wants your love (not someone else’s).

If your ex is rebounding, your ex feels emotionally unfulfilled around the new person and craves your affection more than ever before. That implies that your ex is in a rebound relationship for the wrong reasons and that it’s only a matter of time before your ex realizes that he or she has made a huge mistake. One that could make your ex feel miserable.

So if your ex is dating someone new already and you’re certain that your ex still has feelings for you and wasn’t able to move on, know that your ex’s rebound relationship won’t last forever. Eventually, your ex will get tired and may even start arguing with his or her new boyfriend or girlfriend.

That’s when the relationship will experience unfixable issues and turn into a ticking time bomb.

How can I tell if my ex will return after her rebound relationship?

No one can guarantee that your ex will come back after dating someone else, but if your ex has been messaging you, saying that he or she has made a terrible mistake, and wanting your forgiveness, your ex may be feeling a bit more than just guilty.

Your ex may be starting to realize that the new relationship isn’t as great as it first seemed and that you were quite a good romantic option for your ex. That would imply that your ex is reminiscing and that his or her perception of you has improved significantly since the breakup.

It may not be good enough for your ex to come back yet, but eventually (if things continue to hurt your ex), your ex’s relationship will end. It can’t keep continuing to exist when your ex is constantly unhappy and messaging you to tell you that he or she is hurt, anxious, and unhappy in the relationship.

This is one of the few ways you can tell that your ex’s new relationship will end and that your ex will probably return to you for healing and safety. Another way to tell that your ex’s new relationship will end is if your ex fights a lot with the rebound person and does it in an unhealthy way.

New relationships are supposed to have very few problems because things are new and exciting. Couples who bicker early on tend not to make it past the infatuation stage. They normally realize that they’re incompatible in many ways and that they would have to change and grow too much to meet each other’s expectations.

If you notice that your ex is arguing a lot when his or her relationship just started, it’s unlikely that your ex will stay in that relationship for a long time. Your ex could persevere for a while, of course, but your ex will probably get tired of constant ups and downs and decide to go separate ways.

If your ex gets hurt a lot and/or if your ex does a lot of self-reflecting, your ex might remember that you used to be considerate and supportive and want to be a part of your life again. No matter what happens, you must let your ex’s rebound relationship play out so that your ex can figure out what he or she wants out of romantic relationships and life.

What if I was the rebound?

If your ex dated you soon after ending his or her long-term relationship, you’re at a disadvantage. You’re someone your ex dated to rely on emotionally and cope with the breakup blues. Your ex probably didn’t fall in love with you in the short amount of time he or she was with you.

Your ex likely just faked the relationship to keep anxiety under control and get over his or her dumper quicker. Once your ex has healed, your ex felt happy and in control once more and saw no reason to continue his or her relationship with you. Your ex wanted to see what else was out there and take his or her time looking for someone else.

Unfortunately, many people do that. They’re hurting, so they get involved with someone new and strong because that person can make them feel loved and respected. But when they can’t benefit from that person anymore (don’t need more support), they think they deserve better and start looking for someone “better.”

Eventually, they find that person and oftentimes leave their partner for him/her.

But how can I tell I was a rebound?

To make it simple, you were your ex’s rebound if:

• your relationship ended quickly (less than half a year)
• your ex appeared tired, lazy, distracted
• your ex was seldom in the mood for affection and sex
• your ex didn’t want to go anywhere or do anything
• your ex talked about his or her ex a lot

If you were your ex’s rebound partner, it’s not your fault your ex didn’t stay with you. Your ex was the one who should have been honest with you from the beginning instead of giving you false hope and making you think you were heading in the right direction as a couple.

What do I do if my ex is in a rebound relationship?

Whether your ex is in a rebound relationship or a regular relationship, you mustn’t try to win your ex back through persuasion and perseverance. Your ex doesn’t want to be persuaded because your ex lost feelings for you and decided to give someone else a try.

If you try to meddle with your ex’s romantic life, you’re going to look weak, needy, and pushy as you’ll refuse to accept the breakup and give your ex a chance to do what he or she wants.

Always remember that people in denial aren’t attractive and that your ex won’t take pity on you if you beg and plead with your ex and show how loyal you are to him or her. That’s not what your ex wants to see. Your ex wants you to accept that the relationship is over and that you need to let the broken relationship rest.

As difficult as that is to hear you must be strong and accept it. You don’t really have a choice because resisting the breakup is only going to make things worse. It won’t convince your ex that you’re worthy of another chance but that you’re annoying and that you lack the strength to get out of denial and move on with your life.

So if your ex is in a rebound relationship and you’re wondering what to do about it, leave your ex alone. Go no contact with your ex so your ex doesn’t develop extremely low opinions of you and say or do something that you’re not ready to see or hear.

In all honesty, you shouldn’t have even found out that your ex is dating someone else already. You should have started no contact the moment your ex broke up with you so you could avoid learning things about your ex that destroy too much reconciliation hope at once.

Now that your ex is in a new relationship, you must stay away from your ex and act as if you don’t know or don’t care your ex is dating again. That’s the kind of message you want to indirectly send your ex by ceasing all communication.

Of course, your ex won’t care what you think of him or her dating again, but your ex might become more curious about you later if your ex struggles to stay connected with the new person. Your job is to keep moving forward and remember that your ex will message or call you if your ex regrets leaving you.

Do exes come back after a failed rebound relationship?

Exes come back after a failed rebound relationship quite often. They tend to realize that they’ve taken their ex for granted and that they needed to learn their lessons the hard way – by failing miserably.

The reason why exes come back after failing with someone else is that they realize their ex was a lot better than their rebound and that the relationship with their ex had problems but they weren’t that bad. Such dumpers take responsibility for their actions and come back to fix what they’ve broken.

Before your ex comes back, your ex could check up on you online, message your friends, or breadcrumb you for a while. Your ex might want to check if the door is still open and if he or she needs to hurry up before someone else takes your ex’s place and makes it more difficult for him or her to return.

Or your ex could just decide that enough is enough, leave the rebound partner, and come running back to you decisively. Don’t worry too much about that right now. If you ended the relationship on good terms, your ex will probably message you a few times to see if you have any hard feelings.

And once your ex has made sure that you don’t hate him or her, your ex will likely start pursuing you and making plans with you. You need to be ready for that so that you don’t rush back into a relationship with your ex.

Rushing could make it too easy for your ex to get back with you and prevent your ex from learning things your ex badly needed to learn. So keep in mind that exes do come back after a failed rebound relationship. But they tend to come back when things go wrong in their new relationship because that’s when they realize they were happier in their previous relationship.

How do you steal your ex from her new rebound partner?

Many dumpees are so hurt that they want to steal their ex from their ex’s new partner. They completely forget that their ex isn’t a toy they can just take away. They can’t just do something their ex loves and watch their ex running back to them faster than greased lightning.

That’s because they’ve lost the ability to influence their ex and make their ex feel good. In other words, their ex no longer considers them the most important people in their life, so any attempt to be the most important only makes things worse. Instead of impressing and reattracting their ex, it smothers and repulses their ex.

You need to understand that there will be no stealing anything or anyone. You’ll have to wait patiently for your ex to give his or her new relationship a fair chance. If that relationship fails because your ex has feelings for you or because they don’t get along, your ex might fall back on you and apologize for leaving.

So if you’re thinking of competing with your ex’s new partner, don’t do that. You’ll never be able to beat your ex’s partner nor impress your ex because your ex isn’t in an impressible state. He or she is probably happy dating this new person and wants to see how the relationship will progress.

You must let your ex’s new relationship run its course and let your ex come to you. That’s the only way your ex will ever respect you and want to be with you again. Any other technique or manipulation tactic will only make you look desperate for attention and tell your ex that you’re incapable of controlling yourself and respecting your ex.

Always put yourself in your ex’s shoes by asking yourself what you’d expect from your ex if roles were reversed. After something thinking, you’ll admit that you’d probably want your ex to keep it together and not interfere with your romantic life.

What if your ex’s rebound relationship failed and your ex started dating another person?

If your ex’s relationship failed and your ex soon moved on to someone else, you need to understand that your ex didn’t discern your worth. He or she didn’t improve negative perceptions of you and think that you were a good romantic partner for him or her.

I don’t want to give you hope, but some exes need to go through multiple breakups to realize their ex’s worth and come running back. They need to get involved with someone they really like and have their hearts broken so that their self-esteem cracks and forces them to reflect on their behavior and good memories.

That’s when they can have an epiphany and admit that their ex was a good romantic partner to them but that they couldn’t notice it before.

So if your ex is changing romantic partners, don’t just keep waiting for your ex. It could take your ex many years before your ex gets into a serious relationship and experiences a painful breakup. And you don’t have years of time to wait for your ex to see your worth.

You have to detach and move on so that you can find a person who won’t forget your importance and need to date other people to get hurt and realize what you brought to the table.

You’re better off without someone like that as waiting for something that may or may never happen is a waste of time.

How long do rebounds last?

A rebound relationship can last anywhere from a couple of weeks to about 6 months. After a few months, your ex will have known the other person well enough to see his or her true colors.

That’s when your ex will decide whether to keep pursuing the relationship with the new person or let go of it. If the relationship lasts longer than 6 months, though that probably indicates that your ex isn’t in a rebound relationship and that your ex will likely keep dating this other person.

That doesn’t mean that they’ll live happily ever after but that their chances of success will be as high as any other couple’s. It’s impossible to say how long they’ll last if you don’t understand how their relationship functions. But the good thing about it is that you don’t have to know.

If you keep tabs on your ex, you’ll just analyze your ex and look for hope in everything your ex does. So take the rules of no contact seriously and completely remove your ex from your ex. You’ll find the breakup much easier to cope with if you focus on yourself and your loved ones.

Can no contact work if your ex is in a rebound relationship?

Many people doubt no contact because they fear their ex will move on and forget about them. Although that can definitely happen, you mustn’t let your fears get in the way of rational thinking. You must stay calm and sensible and do things that distract you.

Such things will require immense willpower and self-control, but they’re necessary so that you can redevelop your self-esteem and look more attractive in your ex’s eyes. I encourage you to learn more about breakups and dumpers’ behavior so that you don’t think you must do something to prove your worth to your ex.

The only people who try to prove their worth to others are those who aren’t sure of themselves and seek external validation. Those people tend not to impress their exes as they don’t even feel comfortable in their skin. They consider themselves to be undesirable, so that’s the kind of message they send their ex.

You need to understand that no contact is the best thing you can do now that your ex is in a rebound relationship as it will show your ex that you’re in control of your body and that you won’t chase after your ex. That will help you keep your remaining respect and tell your ex that you understand the relationship has ended.

So what do you do now that your ex is in a (rebound) relationship? You do nothing. You let your ex enjoy dating the new person and do your best to detach and get over your ex. It will probably take you some time to take your ex off the pedestal, but persevere and keep focusing on yourself and you’ll soon stop obsessing over your ex and his/her new partner.

You’ll see that your ex isn’t worth the wait and that your emotional health and well-being are much more important than any relationship and ex-partner.

For now, learn to trust the no contact rule and be prepared to give your ex as much time as he or she needs. I promise that it gets easier the longer you stay in no contact and the busier you get. No contact is also more effective the longer you stay in it because you give your ex all the space in the world to experience the grass is greener syndrome and see what else is out there.

Is your ex in a rebound relationship? How are you coping with it? Let us know what worked for you and what didn’t in the comments section below.

And if you’d like to talk about your ex’s rebound relationship with us privately, click here to get in touch.

Zan

My name is Zan and I’m the founder of Magnet of Success. I enjoy writing realistic relationship and breakup articles and helping readers heal and grow. With more than 5 years of experience in the self-improvement, relationship, and breakup sphere, my goal is to provide advice that fosters positivity and success and avoids preventable mistakes and pain. Buy me a coffee, learn more about me, or get in touch today.