The Thought Of My Ex Sleeping With Someone Else Kills Me

If your ex dumped you or you dumped your ex and still have feelings for your ex, the thought of your ex sleeping with someone else probably kills you. It makes you feel sick to the stomach because you’re not ready to let go of your ex yet.

You’re still hoping that your ex will come back to you and be intimate with you—and only you. The idea that he or she is sleeping with someone else is not something you can accept because it would destroy the possibility that your ex still feels romantic feelings for you. It’d also make you extremely anxious and force you to see that your ex doesn’t value you.

Your ex being intimate with another person would basically tell you that your ex doesn’t care about you and your feelings anymore and that your ex is focusing on moving on with other people.

The reason why you’re afraid of your ex sleeping with someone else is, therefore, very simple. You still love your ex and feel connected to him or her. You have a strong bond and don’t want that bond to be replaced by someone new because you want to be the only person who connects to your ex and plans a future with him or her.

The thought of someone else taking your place is soul-crushing, to say the least. It’s making you feel like you’re losing the most important aspect of your life and that someone else will benefit from the money, feelings, and effort you’ve invested in your ex-partner.

If you feel this way, you need to know that you’re analyzing the breakup so much because you’ve fallen in love with your ex very deeply. You’ve invested so much of your personal happiness in your ex that you now have a hard time distancing yourself physically and emotionally from your ex.

Too much of your happiness still depends on your ex, so you probably need a lot more time to find a way to change your mentality from “My ex was the best I ever had” to “my ex was okay, but the breakup happened for a reason and I need to find out why.”

Most dumpees are scared that their ex will find someone else and have a happy ever after with that person. They completely forget that relationships are seldom a cakewalk and that more often than not, they require a lot of maturity, self-awareness, and hard work.

The truth is that most new couples have a lot of work to do. They have to find ways to work together and build a healthy foundation.

It may seem like they’re perfect on social media because they only post the best of the best of their lives, but once they get past the infatuation phase (about 3-4 months into a new relationship), they stop feeling elated and start encountering disagreements and various problems.

They start seeing how they react when they’re angry and anxious and either make it or break it. Sometimes they also delay the breakup for as long as they can, but such couples tend not to be very happy. They go through lots of ups and downs and tend to have an explosive breakup.

I’m telling you this so that you don’t worry too much about your ex getting involved sexually with someone else. Sex is a very intimate activity, but so is an emotional connection. An ex who chooses to be with someone romantically or physically makes it evident that you must back off and try not to mind what he or she is doing.

You must pull away because whether your ex is engaging in sex, romance, or both, you have all the proof you need that your ex stopped caring about you quite some time ago and that he or she doesn’t deserve your attention and affection.

All your ex deserves is an indefinite period of no contact.

So if the thought of your ex sleeping with someone else kills you, don’t just watch your ex’s every step. Instead of making things extremely difficult for yourself, unfollow/delete your ex off social media and tell your friends to keep you in the dark about your ex.

That’s how you’ll be able to protect yourself from seeing your worst fears come true and make sure that you recover as quickly and safely as possible.

This article is for people who get sick at the thought of their ex sleeping with someone else.

The thought of my ex sleeping with someone else kills me

First of all, you need to know that it’s completely normal to be afraid of your ex sleeping with someone else. Most dumpees dread seeing their ex with someone else because they want to get another chance with their ex and be happy. They want to give love, but most importantly, receive it because their ex ruined their self-esteem and made them hungry for the connection they’ve lost.

Dumpees feel rejected and miserable without their ex, so it feels natural to them to chase after an ex who no longer wants them and gives them the kind of love they’re used to. Their shattered ego and pain tell them to obtain validation as quickly as possible.

So don’t think that something’s wrong with you for craving your ex and possibly wanting your ex to fail romantically with someone else (if he or she is with someone else). You’re not a bad person for wanting your ex to choose you. You’re just a dumpee who still emotionally depends on the dumper for happiness and well-being.

You haven’t been able to detach from your ex yet because detachment takes time. We’re talking about months and months of time. Most dumpees start feeling better and become more independent around the 3rd, 4th-month mark after the breakup. But it usually takes them 8 months or even longer to get over their ex.

How long it takes them to detach fully depends on how attached they were to their ex, how long their relationship was, how high their self-esteem is, and how experienced they are with breakups and relationships. The more breakups they’ve been through, the more accustomed and resistant they are to separation anxiety and rejections—and the easier they can convince themselves that their ex wasn’t the right person for them.

I know that the thought of your ex sleeping with someone else makes you sick to the stomach, but try not to think about your ex being sexual with others too much. Think about the reasons your relationship failed and avoid blaming yourself.

That will make you see what your ex saw when he or she was breaking up with you and give you the decisive push you need to get over your ex and fall in love with the only person that truly matters – you.

That’s right. You are all that matters now that the relationship has ended. The duo’s down to one, so whatever you do, don’t deliberately obsess over your ex and his/her new partner. If you have respect for yourself, focus on yourself and the people that truly care about you because they are the ones who will help you now that your ex is gone.

They’ll give you support whereas chasing your ex’s ghost will keep you in the past and stop you from improving yourself and finding joy in life again.

So once again, it’s okay to want your ex back if the breakup just happened. But if it’s been two or three months and you’re struggling to cope with anxiety, you need to stop fantasizing about getting back with your ex. You need to work on letting go of hope, growing your self-respect, and creating a self-fulfilling life for yourself.

If you don’t improve these simple, yet important things, don’t expect your ex or someone new to find you attractive. Expect him or her to raise a red flag and treat you no better than you treat yourself. So no matter the circumstances, always do what’s best for you and not what you feel is best.

Anxiety and desperation are not good reasons to stay hooked on your ex. They’re reasons to detach so you can get yourself back and be happy once more.

With that being said, here are some reasons why the thought of your ex sleeping with someone else kills you.

What do I do if I can’t handle my ex sleeping with someone else?

If the thought of your ex being intimate with someone else kills you inside, the very first thing you should do is make sure you can’t receive updates about your ex. Avoiding information on your ex will solve most of your problems because it will take your ex’s ability to hurt you away and promote recovery.

There are a few quick and easy solutions that will stop your ex from hurting you. All you have to do is:

• Unfollow or delete your ex on social media
• Delete dating apps or apps on which you can see your ex
• Ask friends and family members not to talk about your ex
• Avoid places that your ex frequents
• Sleep in different rooms/move out if you live together

The problem with some dumpees is that they know what they must do. They know they must cut their ex off, but they’re so hurt and desperate to be with their ex that they don’t want to do that. They’d rather keep their ex close to them and look for signs that their ex wants them back.

Such dumpees almost always discover things they aren’t ready to discover about their ex and as a result, obsess over those things.

They get stuck in a loop searching for information on their ex and getting hurt, so they stay hopeful and highly emotionally reliant on their ex. They normally get their ex out of sight and mind much later when enough time has passed because that’s when they naturally get some of their strength back and decide to sever the bond.

But before they do that, they have to wait so long that they get used to the pain their ex causes them and realize it’s time for them to get on with their lives.

The point I’m trying to make is that you mustn’t waste your post-breakup time obsessing over things you don’t have any control over. Not only will you one day realize what a waste of time that was, but you’ll also realize you could have healed and gotten over your ex much quicker.

You could have felt better sooner, improved your shortcomings, fallen in love with yourself, and found someone better suited for you.

So if the thought of your ex sleeping with someone else kills you, know that you’re worrying about things that won’t matter much longer. One day you’ll learn that you’re ruining your health and happiness for someone who doesn’t deserve your worries, fears, and unconditional love and that you need to focus on yourself.

So try to get back on your feet as soon as possible. Do so by chanting the following things the moment you start worrying about your ex being with someone else:

• My ex isn’t worth it.
• It doesn’t matter what my ex is doing.
• My life is all that matters.
• I have better things to think about.
• I love myself too much to waste my life worrying about my ex.
• My ex can sleep with whomever he/she wants. It doesn’t matter to me.
• I was fine before I met my ex and I’ll be fine now that my ex is gone.

The more you reason with yourself, the quicker you’ll feel the weight behind your words and stop caring about who your ex is with and what he or she is doing. Just make sure to add strong emotions to the things you tell yourself so that you can overpower emotions of fear and anxiety.

Focus on yourself rather than your ex

It will take time to stop worrying about your ex sleeping with someone else, so don’t expect immediate results. Fears created by post-breakup anxiety don’t go away easily. They require a healthy mindset and a strong desire to overcome them.

This means that if you’re watching ex-back videos and looking for success stories all over the internet, that’s not going to help you. On the contrary, it’s going to keep you hooked on your ex and prevent you from letting go of unwanted thoughts and emotions.

To heal and be done with your ex, you’ll need to take your breakup seriously. You’ll need to follow all the rules of no contact (not just the ones you like) and avoid making post-breakup mistakes. Mistakes that will allow your ex to play with your anxious mind and give you hope that he or she will one day see your worth and return to you.

Although there’s always a chance your ex will fail miserably (possibly with someone else) and come running back, you need to keep such thoughts away. They’re the most health-destroying thoughts you can possibly have. So take this advice seriously and stop giving your ex more importance than he or she deserves.

Spend time with people who actually make you feel loved and respected. Confide in them about your ex when you need to, but also make sure to talk about other things. Things such as work, ambitions, and random things because they’ll distract you and make it possible for you to detach as fast as your body lets you.

This is why hobbies and ambitions are so important after the breakup. They will keep you obsessed with something other than your ex and give you the push you need to lose feelings for your ex and get over the pain he or she has caused you.

If you follow these simple tips, the thought of your ex sleeping with someone else will slowly fade away. It’ll pop into your mind less frequently every day until it disappears altogether and gets replaced by something more pleasant that gives meaning to your existence.

I hope you’ve learned how to deal with the thought of your ex sleeping with someone else. Let us know how you feel and what you’ve discovered in this post by commenting below.

However, if you’d like to discuss your breakup situation with us directly, visit our coaching page for more information.

Zan

My name is Zan and I’m the founder of Magnet of Success. I enjoy writing realistic relationship and breakup articles and helping readers heal and grow. With more than 5 years of experience in the self-improvement, relationship, and breakup sphere, my goal is to provide advice that fosters positivity and success and avoids preventable mistakes and pain. Buy me a coffee, learn more about me, or get in touch today.