The Best Time Of Day To Text Your Ex

There is no such thing as the best time of day to text your ex as you shouldn’t text your ex after the breakup (especially if you got dumped). But if you have some unfinished business or kids with your ex—and you must talk to your ex, then the best time of day to do it is when your ex is home and free to speak.

This can be after school or work on a weekday or any time on a weekend when your ex typically has fewer stressors and more time to kill.

Unless your ex has a predictable schedule, you probably won’t know if your ex has the time and energy to text. You won’t know if your ex is at the mall, out with friends, or sleeping at home. But that’s okay. You don’t need to.

Your ex can always reply later when he or she sees your text and feels like replying. 

The problem though is that your ex might not want to reply. He or she might ignore your texts or lose interest in texting very quickly. That could destroy your texting expectations and make you feel unwanted, unneeded, and worthless.

Bear in mind that most dumpers need time to themselves to do the things they want.

If they can’t self-prioritize because their ex doesn’t let them, they often get irritated and respond impulsively. Impulsive responses make them lose even more respect for their ex and tell them that leaving their ex was the right thing to do.

So know that it’s a waste of time and emotions to look for the best time of day to text your ex. If you need your ex to talk about children or something urgent that concerns you both, you can text your ex anytime, even if it’s at 2 in the morning.

You can call your ex too and discuss things that need to be discussed.

However, if there are no emergencies or urgent things to talk about, then it may be best not to text your ex at all. Your ex isn’t waiting by the phone for you to reach out, nor is your ex your texting buddy you can text whenever you have something to share.

Your ex is someone you need to respect and give space to. He or she broke up with you for that reason—and you must respect it.

I know it’s not easy and that you want to text your ex when the chances of reciprocation and (romantic) success are the highest, but you can’t reach out with the expectation of impressing your ex and getting back together. You can’t do it whether your ex is busy or free, happy or sad.

Texting your ex when your ex isn’t texting you will force your ex to communicate on your terms and probably make your ex feel overprioritized and uncomfortable. It will make your ex less eager to text and catch up and force your ex to want more space and time to do the things he or she wants.

Consequently, it will decrease your chances of reconciliation and delay your suffering.

Always remember that the best time of day to text an ex is different for every ex-couple. Some exes communicate in the evening whereas others have the most time in the morning.

Regardless of when they’re free to communicate, exes shouldn’t talk if they have nothing important to discuss. They especially shouldn’t do that if the breakup is still fresh because that would imply they’re still processing the negative emotions caused by the breakup.

In my opinion, it’s okay to text your ex if:

• you or your ex need your stuff back
• you need to talk about important things
• your ex shows signs of wanting to get back together

Basically, you can talk to your ex when your ex is interested in talking to you and wants the same things as you.

If you both want different things, you shouldn’t text each other because texts will make you and your ex crave opposite things. And when you crave and expect opposite things, chances are you’ll say and do things that bring out the worst in each other.

In today’s post, we talk about the best time of day to text your ex. 

The best time of day to text your ex

To put it simply, the best time of day to text your ex is when your ex isn’t busy with important, fun, stressful, and attention-demanding tasks. When your ex is free to text is the best time to text your ex.

But because you don’t know when your ex is free (unless you live together), it’s probably safer to assume that your ex will reply quicker and in better ways when he or she has no responsibilities to attend to.

If your ex works day shifts, you should probably text your ex in the late afternoon or early in the evening. And if your ex works night shifts, it’s probably best to shoot him or her a text early morning or after he or she has rested.

If you’re not sure when your ex is free to respond, you can always just send a text and wait. You’ll receive a response when your ex is free and ready to respond. If the topic of discussion is important and concerns you both, your ex will respond as soon as he or she can.

But if you text your ex about random things you can talk to anyone about, then expect a delayed response or no response at all, depending on how the relationship ended and how your ex thinks and feels about you.

Whether you got dumped or did the dumping yourself, you should know that texting your ex for fun is a no-no. You can’t reach out just to talk about random things. Instead, you should resist the urge to text, focus on yourself, and give the broken relationship time to rest.

You must remember that as long as you’re hurt, texting will cause more harm than good. It will give the dumpee hope and take that hope away as soon as the dumper says or does something that rejects the broken-hearted dumpee.

You should communicate only about things you need from each other. If you need your stuff back or give your ex his or her belongings, you can text your ex whenever you want. Your ex will reply when or if he or she wants to.

But if you want to have a non-essential conversation, then perhaps you should reach out when you and your ex are free to converse and most likely to text back and forth.

If there has been no texting or talking recently (or since the breakup), you need to keep in mind that your ex could be hurt and/or resentful and that your attempt to talk could get shut down and backfire.

Your ex could see your text as a demand to get something from him or her and feel a strong need to protect himself or herself by ignoring you or pushing you away by force.

Sometimes dumpers feel threatened and do hurtful things even though dumpees just want closure, their belongings, or to talk about kids’ needs.

Some dumpers (often those who are in a new relationship) just want to focus on their new lives and don’t want to be reminded of their ex. If they are reminded of their ex, they feel dragged back into the past and tend to get annoyed with their ex.

Their annoyed response then makes their ex regret reaching out and putting his or her heart on the line.

So if you’re thinking about reaching out when your text is the least likely to bother your ex and make your ex hurt you, know that there’s no guarantee you won’t annoy your ex. If your ex blames you for the breakup and the way he or she feels, it won’t make a difference whether you reach out when your ex is busy or free.

Your reach-out, no matter how courteous and concise it is will make your ex feel uneasy and force your ex to react to unwanted emotions in ways he or she usually reacts. 

If your ex deals with pressure, stress, and anger by unleashing his or her fury on the person he or she perceives as a threat, you can expect your ex to do the same to you. You can expect your ex to treat you worse than a stranger and to become your worst nightmare.

That’s the main reason why you need to think long and hard before you text your ex and put your ex in a situation of power. You need to keep in mind that an unsolicited text could disturb or overwhelm your ex and force your ex to respond in ways that destroy your growth, self-esteem, and healing.

That being said, here’s the best time of day to text your ex.

I wish I could tell you that texting your ex at 3 p.m. every day is the best time to communicate, but I’d be lying. People have different lives (availabilities, texting habits, and things they’re dealing with). For example, your ex might be very stressed about his or her boss and might not want to communicate with you or anyone.

If you reach out while he or she is overwhelmed with external stressors and trying to get space from you at the same time, chances are you’ll see a side of your ex you weren’t prepared to see. You’ll see someone who couldn’t care less about your feelings, problems, and requests.

That’s why it’s better to wait for your ex to reach out to you. That way, you’ll be certain your ex is emotionally ready and capable of communicating about the things you want. The conversation will also flow naturally and have a much higher chance of accomplishing the desired results. 

So don’t pin your hopes on the time you reach out because it’s not all about the timing. It’s also about your ex’s need for space and the thoughts and emotions he or she associates with you. If your ex thinks that talking to you is a waste of energy and time, you won’t be able to reason with your ex and get what you want from him or her.

Instead of getting answers, closure, or validation, you’ll receive responses that invalidate your feelings and leave you with more questions than answers. The failure to obtain what you’re after will essentially increase your dependence on your ex and make your ex (want to) run for the mountains.

The best time to text your ex is when your ex texts you

If you haven’t heard from your ex yet, you need to wait for your ex to text you first. You need to lay low because when you receive the first text or call, you’ll be able to tell that your ex has made emotional progress and that it’s possible to talk to your ex without suffocating him or her.

Your ex probably won’t want you back the moment he or she reaches out, but at least you’ll know things have improved and that it’s safe to text your ex. Again, back-and-forth texts won’t change your ex’s perception of you and let your ex slowly redevelop feelings because your ex has to find a reason to love you first.

Your ex has to realize that your presence, support, validation, and love are needed for him or her to be happy now and in the future.

But at least you’ll be able to have a civil conversation with your ex and talk about non-relationship/breakup subjects.

Some people want to be friends with their ex. And they can be friends when two things happen.

1. They get over their ex.
2. Their ex processes the breakup and wants to talk to the dumpee once in a while.

If you’ve gotten over your ex and are fully or almost fully detached, you can text your ex from time to time. Just don’t text too often and for too long because you could still overwhelm your ex and reopen your wounds.

Also, keep in mind that your ex may not want to be friends. If your ex is dating someone else, it’s better for his or her relationship that you don’t get too close. His or her partner probably won’t like that you’re still texting each other and acting like friendship with an ex is normal.

So respect your ex and his or her new (potential) relationship by texting your ex infrequently or never. If your ex doesn’t text you at all, refrain from texting your ex. Remember that your ex isn’t interested in texting at the moment and that you shouldn’t try to get close to your ex again.

On the other hand, if you left your ex, then keep in mind that your ex might still be recovering from the breakup and/or that he or she might be dating someone else already. If you’re not careful, your reach-out could mess with your ex’s healing and make it difficult for your ex to love the new person and focus on him or her.

It may be best to let your ex heal by avoiding unnecessary texts and calls.

What do you think is the best time of day to text your ex? Do you think reaching out at a certain time of the day could maximize your chance of having a nice conversation and reduce the chance of annoying your ex? Share your views on this topic in the comments section below.

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Zan

My name is Zan and I’m the founder of Magnet of Success. I enjoy writing realistic relationship and breakup articles and helping readers heal and grow. With more than 5 years of experience in the self-improvement, relationship, and breakup sphere, my goal is to provide advice that fosters positivity and success and avoids preventable mistakes and pain. Learn more about me or get in touch today.