If He Blocks You, He Loves You: True Or Nah?

When an ex blocks you, you might assume that he’s hurting and needs to block you to avoid feeling sad and nostalgic. You might think that he has strong feelings for you and that the only way he can regain control of his emotions and not get back with you is to distance himself from you forcefully.

Well, this might be true, but it depends on what side of the breakup your ex is on. If your ex is the dumpee (the person who got dumped), your ex might block you if he loves you. Blocking would stop your ex from stalking you and taking his frustrations out on you. Or conversely, it could prevent your ex from begging and pleading and doing unattractive things.

However, if your ex is the dumper, then it’s unlikely that your ex still loves you. Dumpers don’t block because they love their exes but because they’re annoyed or angry with them and lost respect. Blocking is the only way impatient exes can avoid feeling uncomfortable with their ex reaching out or being too active on social media.

The only exception is when dumpers have no choice but to dump their partner on the spot (let’s say their partner cheated on them). In that case, they may block as a means of stopping themselves from reaching out to the ex who broke their heart and isn’t worthy of their love.

What you need to understand is that blocking and love seldom go hand in hand. Most of the time, a person who blocks does so because he or she is angry, resentful, impatient, and void of love. The blocking person is finally free and happy and feels that the only way to continue being happy and in control of his or her life is to push the dumpee so far away that the dumpee can’t cause any problems.

The dumpee could cause problems in many ways.

But the things that pressure and annoy blocking dumpers the most are:

• receiving social media messages
• seeing their ex post online
• and in any way, shape, or form being reminded of their ex

Reminders of their ex don’t feel good because dumpers associate negative beliefs with their ex. Those beliefs trigger their repressed anger, contempt, and repulsion and force them to stay away from their ex to focus on themselves and those they love.

If they started dating someone else shortly after the breakup, they tend to feel even more compelled to block their ex. That’s because they’re starting a new chapter of their life with a new romantic partner and don’t want their ex to see what they’re up to, nor see what their ex is up to.

They want a completely new beginning. And the only way they can do that is to cut their ex off and try to forget about their ex.

So if you’re wondering if he loves you when he blocks you, know that he probably doesn’t. The guy who blocked you resorted to blocking because he couldn’t improve his perception of you. He didn’t even want to improve it to be honest because he felt empowered and liked feeling empowered.

Hatred, anger, contempt, or disgust gave your ex the power to decide how the breakup was going to work. This is why he decided to block you partially (and let you reach out if there’s an emergency) or blocked you completely and ended things for good.

Mind you that your ex might not keep you blocked forever. Depending on his reasons for blocking you, he could eventually cool off and realize that he went too far.

But for this realization to happen, he needs to stop feeling pressured. However, if he blocked you randomly (especially months after the breakup), then it’s much less likely that he’ll unblock you as he may not regain much respect for you.

Not unless something shifts his focus and makes him think about you in a positive light. Something like an unsuccessful relationship or another breakup.

Today’s topic is, “If he blocks you, he loves you.” We’ll discuss what dumpers feel and do when they’re at their wit’s end.

Is it true that he loves you if he blocks you?

If your ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend blocks you (it doesn’t matter what gender your ex is because it’s the same for both genders), your ex made an emotional decision. He showed that he doesn’t want to hear from you and that he’d like you to respect his space and mind your own business.

The guy clearly wants to be left alone so he can process his resentment and other emotions bringing the worst out of him. I know I said he likes feeling in control, but that doesn’t mean he likes feeling anger or annoyance when you reach out.

The thought of communicating with you and feeling unwanted emotions makes him feel pressured and forces him to avoid you at all costs.

So keep in mind that your ex has decided to block you because he didn’t like the way he felt about you. He wanted to avoid feeling smothered, so he did what he had to do to push you out of sight and out of mind.

Now that he’s free and in control again, he doesn’t have to worry about something you did or could do. He feels relieved and at peace, so he can just focus on other problems and enjoy his life.

Most dumpers self-prioritize because they have desires to move on from the past. They feel exhausted from staying in the relationship for longer than they should, so they want to forget all the bad things that happened during the relationship (especially towards the end of the relationship).

It’s a shame that many dumpers do this by blocking their ex. Blocking allows them to deal with the problem in a non-communicative, unsympathetic, immature, and immoral way. That’s what blocking is most of the time. Very rarely do people block others because they or their loved ones are in some kind of danger.

Many dumpers are simply tired and/or short-fused and block their dumpee even though the dumpee is struggling to cope with the breakup.

Some dumpees aren’t even struggling and don’t guilt-trip their ex—yet they still get blocked. This is because the blocking has nothing to do with them. They’re staying away from their ex, but their ex still feels uncomfortable and/or angry and wants to stop being reminded of the dumpee.

If your ex blocked you soon or right after breaking up with you, your ex probably felt overwhelmed by the things you were saying or doing and thought he needed to stop you from acting against his wishes. But if your ex blocked you months after the breakup out of the blue, then your ex just wanted to cut you off and stop seeing your social media posts.

By removing and/or blocking you, he could stop being reminded of you and feeling uncomfortable by staying your social media friend.

Therefore, the difference between getting blocked right away and weeks or months later is that at the beginning of the breakup, the dumper feels smothered, annoyed, and repulsed whereas months later, he feels uncomfortable and wants to get rid of your remnants so he can focus on his new life.

Both mean very similar things.

But what you need to keep in mind is that if he blocks you, the chances of him loving you are slim. It’s much more likely that he loves himself and thinks it’s perfectly fine to block you and start dating someone else. I’m not saying your ex blocked you because he met someone else.

All I mean is that he wants to close the chapter with you and stop feeling certain unwanted emotions caused by your actions or social media presence.

Now that we’ve clarified things, here’s what it means when a guy blocks you after the breakup.

I don’t know who came up with the saying “If he blocks you he loves you,” but exes don’t block you if they love you. Neither do partners or the people you date. Those who respect you and want to be with you show you their love with their actions and consistency. They’re there for you and stick with you through thick and thin.

They don’t even think about leaving you and blocking you.

That’s why it’s safer for you to think that blocking is disrespectful and that your ex doesn’t love you and regret leaving you. Your ex wants to block you and keep you blocked for as long as doing so is beneficial to his health and well-being.

Sometimes people in relationships block each other and then unblock, but I can tell you that such people rarely improve their behavior. Most couples who block and unblock keep hurting each other until someone loses interest and leaves.

That someone is normally the less patient, caring, and committed person.

So if a guy blocks you, don’t assume that he loves you. Blocking has nothing to do with love. It shows the opposite actually as a person who blocks feels unhealthy emotions and wishes to run away from them rather than work on them.

Why would he block me if he loves me?

A guy may have told you he loved you during or after the breakup, but that doesn’t mean it’s true. He wouldn’t have broken up with you, let alone blocked you if he still had romantic expectations and feelings for you. Romantic feelings demand reciprocation. And a guy who blocks you doesn’t want you to reciprocate anything.

He wants to avoid feeling loved so that he doesn’t have to feel that he needs to send love back to you. If you make him feel that you love him and expect love from him, he’ll feel guilt-tripped as you’ll pressure him into giving you what you want and demand feelings that he isn’t capable of feeling.

So if your ex-boyfriend or the guy you dated told you he loved you and proceeded by blocking you, know that he didn’t feel love for you. He felt guilt and sadness which he mistook for love.

Lots of people can’t differentiate between love and other negative feelings. They think that if they cry and feel bad for hurting their ex that they have strong feelings for their ex when in fact, they lack feelings and feel bad about it.

You, therefore, mustn’t think that an apologetic, expressive, and emotional ex loves you and wants what he used to have. He just wants to stop feeling awful for abandoning the relationship and destroying your plans for the future.

That’s why it’s extremely unfair to dumpees when their dumper tells them he loves them, misses them, thinks about them, cries a lot, or has a hard time moving on. In the breakup world, we consider such statements breadcrumbs (unimportant messages) that confuse dumpees, make their hearts race, and give them tons of false hope.

What to do when he blocks you?

When a guy blocks you (for any reason at all), don’t message him on apps that you aren’t blocked on yet. Whether the block is full or partial, he doesn’t want to hear from you and think about you anymore. He’s focusing on himself now, which means that any attempt to get in touch with him will further lower his respect for you.

And if his respect continues to decrease, he could get very angry with you and reject you in a swift and painful manner. That would increase your emotional dependence on the guy and make you more desperate to converse.

So whatever you do, don’t seek explanations from an ex who dumped you and blocked you. Don’t reach out to him online or talk to him in person because the guy is currently incapable of explaining things patiently and giving you closure.

Closure is something you’ll have to find without him by signing up for therapy, journaling your thoughts and feelings, and confiding in your friends.

Just as you don’t chase someone who ghosted you, you don’t chase someone who blocked you. You must give the people who dumped you the space they asked for and allow them to be independent and in control of their lives.

All in all, it’s not your job to convince an ex-boyfriend or ex-husband to unblock you. He must find reasons to unblock you on his own otherwise he could become resentful and show you a very bad side to him.

While you’re following no contact and giving him time to enjoy space and quiet, focus on your friends and family and try to take his blocking less personally. If you do this right, you’ll soon detach to the point where you see that he didn’t block you because you’re a bad person but because he didn’t have self-control, wasn’t a good communicator, or because he wasn’t understanding of your pain.

No matter the reason for blocking, you didn’t ask him to block you. You can’t force a person to do that because he’s responsible for his perceptions of his surroundings and the way he reacts to them.

And yes, it’s true that dumpers are going through different stages than dumpees after the breakup and need space, but there’s no need for them to block their ex. Blocking is a poor way of managing their difficult emotions and treating someone who loves them very much.

How long will he keep you blocked?

A guy can block you for quite some time, depending on his personality, thinking patterns, forgiveness, and things happening in his life. But usually, people don’t leave their exes blocked forever unless their ex takes revenge and destroys whatever respect is left.

If you didn’t ruin your ex’s respect for you, your ex might eventually unblock you. It might take months or years even, but from what I see, most dumpers eventually unblock their dumpees even if their dumpees made a lot of post-breakup mistakes.

When they unblock them, they tend not to reach out, though. They just leave them unblocked and carry on with their lives. The reason they do that is that they process negative post-breakup emotions and no longer have anger in their hearts.

Their anger gets replaced with curiosity and respect and encourages them to be fair to their ex.

Whatever you do, don’t wait for a guy to unblock you, regardless of how good the chemistry was and how well you got along. Life is too short to wait for exes to have an epiphany and decide that they want you in their life. You’ll be much more successful and happy too if you cut your ex off the moment he leaves you and become self-reliant.

Do you think that if he blocks you, he loves you? What’s your understanding of love? Let us know in the comments below—and we’ll get back to you soon.

And lastly, if you enjoyed reading this article and wish to discuss what it means when your ex blocks you privately, click here to learn more about our coaching services.

Zan

My name is Zan and I’m the founder of Magnet of Success. I enjoy writing realistic relationship and breakup articles and helping readers heal and grow. With more than 5 years of experience in the self-improvement, relationship, and breakup sphere, my goal is to provide advice that fosters positivity and success and avoids preventable mistakes and pain. Learn more about me or get in touch today.