If a girl blocks you, it doesn’t necessarily mean that she loves you. It could just mean that she needs time to herself and that she’s trying to protect herself from getting hurt or feeling disgusted and annoyed. Which of these three emotions she feels depends on the connection she had with you prior to blocking you.
If she was your lover and became an ex, she likely blocked you out of revulsion and anger. She couldn’t stand your presence anymore because she grew resentful of you.
If she was someone you went out on a few dates with, she likely blocked you because she wasn’t happy with some of the things you said or did. She felt misunderstood, so she decided to part ways without having an awkward conversation about it (many people do this because they’re afraid of being honest).
And if she was really into you but you were mean and unreceptive throughout the relationship or during the dating phase, it’s possible that she blocked you to stop feeling unworthy and miserable. In that case, the girl blocked you to get her mind off of you and to focus on herself.
If you want this person to unblock you and hopefully communicate with you again, you’ve got to understand that this could take time and patience. She’d thought long and hard before she blocked you, which means that it’s going to take her time to unblock you and that she doesn’t want you to reason with her and annoy her.
If you try to reason with her by messaging her on a platform she hasn’t blocked you on yet, you’ll most likely smother her and let her know that you need her more than you respect her.
This will, in turn, give her more power and control and put you at her mercy if she decides to unblock you.
So before you chase after someone who blocked you, bear in mind that she doesn’t want nor deserve your attention right now. She may be hurt, but she decided to deal with that hurt on her own. It doesn’t matter if you ignored her every time she opened up her problems to you or did something no one should ever do.
Now that you’re blocked, you mustn’t try to get unblocked. At least not by begging her to speak to you. The only way you should get unblocked is by staying away from her and letting her unblock you of her own free will.
That’s the only way you’ll regain your power and importance and get another shot at making things right.
If you’re convinced that when a girl blocks you it means she loves you, read through this article. It might change your perspective on blocking behavior and give you some tips on what to do.
Why do people block others?
Most people block others’ phone numbers and social media accounts because they feel disrespected or underappreciated. They feel that the person they talk to gives them a lot less than they give (or too much attention), so they put up with “injustice” for as long as they can until they explode and block.
Such people fail to express to the other person how they feel, which is why they often lose control over their thoughts and feelings and react impulsively.
Sometimes their bottled-up feelings make them angry and sometimes they cause them to resort to blocking. How a person acts or reacts depends on his or her morals and self-control. The better this skill and trait are, the less likely it is that a person will lose his/her cool and take it out on the other person.
So if a woman you dated blocked you, bear in mind that there could be a few explanations for her behavior. But the most important ones you need to be aware of you can find in the picture below.
Although blocking, ignoring, threatening, and ghosting on social media is inexcusable, it’s also possible that something you did made this person feel uncomfortable, scared, angry, or disrespected. My advice is to reflect on your behavior and figure out if you somehow contributed to her blocking.
You might realize that you weren’t as thoughtful of her feelings as you thought you were.
If she blocks you while you’re together
If a girl in a relationship blocks you during an argument or a disagreement, she still loves you. She’s still with you, so yes, love and connection are still there.
But even though your girlfriend loves you, you must consider her behavior a huge red flag. If you and your girlfriend don’t find a way to break this pattern of blocking and unblocking, you’re soon going to break up – probably for good.
It may not be now or in the next year, but eventually, your relationship is going to reach a point of no return and leave the more attached person brokenhearted. So before it gets to this, talk to your girlfriend (when she unblocks you) and learn why she blocked you.
Whether it’s because of something you did or because she has poor impulse control, communication is something you’ll need to work on. You’ll also need to promise each other not to repeat the same behaviors, develop self-control, and commit to positive thinking.
Growing inside will take time, but if you have the will to grow, there’s no reason why you shouldn’t be able to overcome this blocking issue.
The most important thing right now though is to wait for your girlfriend to overcome her anger and pain. She has to see that she went too far and come back to apologize. That’s when you can propose changes and improvements and possibly even consider getting couples therapy.
Taking your partner’s relationship advice seriously is not always easy because you consider his or her views to be subjective. But a therapist or a non-biased friend with relationship experience can point you both in the right direction.
He or she can tell you that immature people with low self-control block people and that you must respect each other or the relationship will collapse in on itself.
So if you want your relationship to be successful, begin working on yourself immediately. Your girlfriend can join in once she returns and sees that you’re serious about making some important changes.
If she blocks you after a few dates
If a girl blocks you after a date or a few dates, you need to know that the girl doesn’t like you enough. She may be more attracted to other guys and can’t focus on you until she tries her luck with them.
Whatever you do, though, don’t blame yourself for her behavior. Just because she blocked you doesn’t mean that it’s your fault. It’s possible that she perceived you differently than you presented yourself and that instead of talking to you, she got frustrated and gave up on you.
If this is the case, there’s not much left for you to do. The girl clearly isn’t open to communication and thinks that the relationship with you isn’t worth pursuing. At least not now that she detached and pushed you away.
So what do you do while she’s focusing on herself and other people?
You focus on yourself and do your best to realize that she gave up on you very quickly. She either doesn’t like you, likes someone else, or wants to keep dating people to make sure she chooses “the right guy.”
Only time will tell what her intentions are.
But while you’re moving on, you should keep in mind that blocking people without an explanation is mean and rude. It’s rude even if she isn’t emotionally ready for a relationship and needs time to get over her ex first.
People have the ability to express their thoughts and feelings. If they don’t know how to use that ability, it’s evident that they haven’t developed it and focused on less important things instead. Remember that when you’re having a difficult time loving yourself.
If she blocks you after the breakup
When an ex-girlfriend blocks you after the breakup, it’s almost always out of anger and contempt. She has no interest and patience left to communicate, so she does the most self-protective thing she can think of.
She blocks you and pushes you away.
By doing so, she quickly stops feelings smothered and repulsed and guarantees herself a life filled with relief.
The best thing to do about a blocking ex-girlfriend is to do nothing at all. You must remember she’s going through the dumper stages and that she won’t respond well to anything you have to say. She especially won’t respond well if you come on strong and demand some kind of explanation as to why she blocked you after everything you’ve done for her.
Dumpers who resort to blocking don’t want to explain themselves. They just want to be left alone and enjoy everything their new life has to offer.
So if your ex broke up with you and blocked you, keep in mind that your ex doesn’t love you anymore and that she won’t love you until she’s processed the breakup and found a new reason to love you. A new reason to love you is something she can find only if she fails to find love or self-love on her journey to a happier life.
While your ex is taking her time to figure out if she’s happy, make sure to work on your flaws and get over her. You’ll need to make a lot of personal changes if you want your next relationship to be better and stronger.
I know it’s hard to be patient right now and to focus on anyone other than her, but you must understand that people block their exes because they refuse to face their negative emotions. Instead of trying to understand them and deal with them, they push them away and hide from them.
This means that next time they feel smothered or unhappy, they do the exact same thing. They block the person making them feel uncomfortable and pretend it’s that person’s fault.
If your ex blocked you, try not to blame yourself too much. Your ex has flaws too. She just doesn’t know that she does because she’s in control of her emotions right now.
When she loses control, though, she’ll be introduced to pain and realize that she also needs to self-invest. And that’s when she’ll come back and be forced to undergo a personal transformation.
People don’t block others out of love and care. They do it to protect themselves
If the girl you dated blocked you, the blocking obviously doesn’t indicate that she loves you. If anything, it indicates that she doesn’t love you and that she has trouble expressing her thoughts and feelings.
You need to be careful about this girl. If she shut you out once, she’ll likely continue to do that even after you’ve patched things up with her. People just don’t change without a reason. They change only when they want to or when they fear that they’ll lose what they have.
So if you’re serious about being with this person, wait for her to come back to you and take your power back. Show her that you won’t be with her if she doesn’t get her act together and break her blocking habit. The key to making it work with “a blocker” isn’t to let her be in control, but to stand up for yourself when she wants you back.
Don’t just brush it off and think that the problem will go away on its own.
Most people don’t do mean things only once. They say and do them consistently time after time because they feel uncomfortable or victimized. The same goes for the girl you like. She will treat you the same way in the future unless you steer her in the right direction the moment she unblocks you and wants you back.
The chances of her changing her behavioral patterns before she unblocks you are small. She may realize her mistakes and want to be a better person, but she won’t be a changed person the second she unblocks you and apologizes for blocking you.
If you don’t want her to take you for granted and treat you unfairly again, communicate your wants, needs, and demands right away. In your own words, tell her that you found her blocking behavior weak and disrespectful and that it’s her last chance to show you how badly she wants to be with you.
Your job as someone who got blocked isn’t to teach people right from wrong. It’s to respect yourself and make sure they respect you and never treat you the same way again.
What do you think? Do you think a girl who blocks you loves you and wants to be with you? Let me know your thoughts below the post.
And if you’d like to talk to us about your blocking ex-girlfriend, reach out to us here.
I went into No contact and ended up bumping into my ex after about 6 weeks, as she lives in the same area as my daughter – She met me with a hug and as I was going for coffee i invited her along, she was reluctant at first but i suggested it was just a catchup. I made a point of not talking about the relationship and we had fun , she laughed assked about my daughter, flirted and maintained a lot of eye contact and open body language that was very positive and a clear sign that she was still attracted to me. When we left i gave her a hug and kiss on her cheek, she walked off with her head down almost remorseful like. I left it a few days and reached out and wished her happy easter and shared an inside joke about as i was on my dads farm , she didnt respond , i reasched out again a week later and suggested jokingly that she didnt need to be guarded just because i could feel she was attracted to me when we met and wished her a nice trip as she was going on holiday, again nothing – then 6 days later (when she got back from her trip) she blocked me on whatsapp. She either went into a sesnse of introspection on her trip or decided she still has feelings and had to protect herself as i called her out on them – I beleive she could be avoidant in relationships – Thoughts?
Hi John.
I don’t think she had to protect herself from having feelings. I think she felt overwhelmed with guilt and your expectations and decided to run away from the whole situation. Your ex didn’t want to go for coffee and talk; she wasn’t ready for it and agreed to it because she felt pressured into it. The interaction went well, but first-time interactions usually do. Dumpers feel a myriad of emotions and appear receptive. This changes after the interaction.
Back to no contact, John.
Sincerely,
Zan
Hi
I had a situation with a girl who just blocked me without telling the reason, she blocked me and it was when we just meet and talk as usual times, but after there in the meantime when I called her and I found she ended up blocking me. What could be the reason.
Hi Kevin.
There could be many reasons. She might have felt offended by something you said or did and/or decided she’d give someone else a try.
Best,
Zan
Hi Michael,
I am certainly not an expert about relationships that suddenly fall apart. But I got a good lesson with this last one. My ex girl friend texted me after we got from a terrific to Miami in late March. We never ever fought or had a fight. Our entire time together I took care of her because she came from Latin America with nothing but the clothes on her back. A beautiful girl that has exhibited narcissistic behavior from time to time like entitlement. She told me I am a super person but she can’t reciprocate feelings for me. I tried stop by to see her a few times since and she just looks angry each time. She has blocked me on social media, texts, and phone. My last communication was that can see I have to move on. That was two weeks ago. I plan on keeping it that way for the next 2-3 months. But definitely will insist on overhaul changes in behavior if she happens to contact. I will make major changes myself. curious to know your thoughts.
Thanks,
David
I recently blocked my ex, and I do have to say, although I somewhat regret it at this point. I know it’s the best thing right now, because he was disrespecting me in so many ways, and I got tired of the games he was playing. We both are having a really difficult time committing to each other. Something had to be done, so I blocked him. We have known each other since we were in High School, so we have a lot of the same friends and run in the same circles, but I need to heal and work on some things right now to clear my head and the relationship was interfering with my life at this point, and needing space was the correct thing to do in my opinion. Does it mean I still love him. Yes, I do, but both of us need to change the way we interact with each other. We are both very emotional and have extra baggage. He’s very controlling, and I am independent, so I could not handle his demands anymore. I would take him back, if we could discuss these things on a mature level, but he is very immature, and I am still healing, and him as well from the last relationships we were in. He has a lot of problems he needs to deal with. Not saying I don’t want to be friends with him, because I still do care for him. I just can’t go back to the old ways of dealing with our problems. We really need to take some distance apart to figure things out. Are we going to take the next step together or are we going to go our separate ways. Very difficult situation.
Rachel
Hi Rachel.
Your relationship needs a break. It’s not healthy, so perhaps it’s time you get some space from each other (even if you have to block each other). The way you are now, you’re not ready to be in a committed relationship. You should first learn to communicate so you can then deal with difficult emotions.
Kind regards,
Zan
Hi Michael,
You brought up a very good point “the negative associations of me bring about shame and guilt which she does not want to face therefore avoidance”. I think this sums up why she blocked you.
Zan wrote a lot about dumpers feeling guilty about hurting the person whom they dumped. But at the same time they don’t think they are wrong or being a bad person for wanting to end a relationship that they no longer want. This caused a lot of cognitive dissonace and internal struggle which they find uncomfortable within themselves, knowing that they did cause damage and harm to the dumpee, but at the same time, they think they are essentially still a good person. So they will find ways to reduce this invisible tension within them, by avoiding the dumpee who will trigger their discomfort and unease. Having contact will cause them to feel the mental conflict which is unsettling for them. Hence they rather not have any form of contact with the dumpee, as a way to escape from the guilt and cognitive dissonance.
Zan also mentioned that before the dumper ended the relationship, they have already formed plenty of negative associations about the dumpee. Also, dumpers usually don’t process the break up or learn to become a better person or grow from their mistakes to see that they were part of the problem that contributed to the breakup. In their minds, the feeling of resentment towards the dumpee is still there. That’s why their attitude towards the dumpee never changed over the years.
Hi Mag,
Thank you for your explanation. It really helps me understand reasons in the mindset of the dumper. I would expect any form of cognitive dissonance would eventually subside in an individual after a year’s time, however, its seems to not be the case with my ex. I guess how developed an individual is in terms of relationships directly influences their actions and how they handle stressful situations. It seems that between accepting one’s own fault or running away from the situation, the best path that provides protection and less stress was to completely avoid someone she placed negative associations with.
As you mentioned, dumpers don’t usually process the break up or learn to become a better person. I would absolutely agree to that. I would say that being the dumpee has its benefits by being to able to reflect on what went wrong in a relationship then eventually grow tremendously as a person. It is very much like a blessing in disguise, although the process to grow past this situation was a very difficult experience. I would always think that each person has a conscience to distinguish between right and wrong or how to not inflict pain on another person. However, after experiencing this situation, its clear that sometimes certain people don’t feel any sympathy towards others. It made me realize that the world isn’t all rainbows and sunshine. But with every difficult situation I recognize that we grow and become the best version of ourselves.
Appreciate you taking the time to provide your insight Mag.
Michael
i’m so happy to read any new article of yours Zan because i always team something else and helps me process things.
thank you for helping us all ❤️
Thanks a lot for reading, Linda!
Great to have you here!
Zan
After a year of no contact with my ex who cheated by infidelity and immediately left to started a relationship with the person she cheated on me with. A year passed and I started receiving documents in the mail addressed to her on her related investments. After many days of debating whether to not give a f about it or inform her, I decided to do what’s right and break NC to inform her to update the information to her current address and not my house. It had been very challenging to contact her as she blocked me from FB and personal messaging apps. I did manage to find that she did not block me on IG. Whether it was intentional or simply forgot I couldn’t be certain. So I informed her about her documents thinking I probably won’t get any response until a few days after. She said thank you and told me to dispose of the documents. A few days after that her message mysteriously disappeared from my IG messages and her profile was unable to be found. She had definitely blocked me. Now I’m starting to doubt whether I made the right decision to inform her as it seems she wants to avoid any type of contact with me. I would expect after a year feelings of anger or repulse would have subsided. I just find it difficult to understand how someone can be so cold to someone pretending to play the victim when in fact she was the one who cheated and decided to leave? Perhaps, the negative associations of me bring about shame and guilt which she does not want to face therefore avoidance through blocking is the only way a person with low morals escapes the reality of her actions? I tried to find answers to the meaning of her actions through google searches but then decided it’s a waste of effort to try and decipher reasons for her actions. Strangely though, after a year from the break-up I feel blessed and believed that I had dodged a bullet. Considering the mental maturity of handling difficult situations, I told myself that I don’t need to receive any type of validation from her. Eventually, by going NC indefinitely, I was able to heal and find someone new who really considers my feelings and is grateful to have me. Thank you Zan for your terrific post! It always seems like a coincidence that your articles come out at the right time on things I’m currently experiencing. I look forward to more of your post.
Hi Michael
It seems we dated similar people. My ex also after a year or so was still angry at me (I had left the bad things behind long ago), she broke NC after 4 and then after 5 months, and the last time I decided it was not worth it trying to have a conversation with her. Both times she ended insulting me and I didn’t even react (as I mentioned, I didn’t think it was worth my time getting into a discussion with her). And I thought “it must be really sad to have to live with someone so resentful as her 24/7”
As you said, you dodge a bullet and someone like her does not deserve your time and effort, not even because is the right thing to do.
I’ve been on NC for little over a year now (after she broke it last time) and believe me, it gets easier and easier as time goes by.
All the best from Chile
Tom
Hi Tom,
Thank you for sharing your experience and words of encouragement. I guess we put a lot of effort in loving the wrong people. I truly believe that things happen for a reason and therefore it was destiny that led the path to not have these individuals in our lives anymore. Cheers and very much appreciate it.
Michael
Hi Michael.
You definitely did the right thing and should be proud of yourself for that. You couldn’t have known that your ex would still be so resentful after such a long time. But as I say on the blog, when the dumper hates the dumpee and refuses to work on her self-destructive emotions, she tends to continue to hate him. It’s evident that your ex associates a lot of hatred with you, Michael, but don’t let that get to you. It just shows that she’s incapable of resolving her own issues the way emotionally strong people do.
She doesn’t feel guilty for what she did but rather victimized. It’s better to leave her alone and focus on the person who loves you and appreciates you.
Kind regards,
Zan
Hi Zan
“She doesn’t feel guilty for what she did but rather victimized. ” – for this is there anything that can shift her victim mindset into a guilty one? Or it’s best to not bother with that? would it require her to be cheated on as well as in this case?
Hi RK.
There’s nothing YOU can do to change her thoughts and feelings about you. Only karma can do that. So let her live joyfully if she wants to. If something goes wrong, she could get hurt and develop some sympathy for those she hurt.
Best regards,
Zan
Hi Zan,
Thank you for your clarification. I guess she still does hold a lot of resentment towards me even though it’s difficult to understand considering I have done nothing but showed her kindness. What is the average time period a dumper would feel victimized for? Which part of the dumper stages would you say she is currently in? Do dumpers go through the dumper stages even though they are with someone new or does a new relationship prevent them from ever experiencing the dumper stages? On average do relationships which begin from lies and infidelity with another person last?
At times I feel a sense of anger and seek revenge but then I think to myself, it’s not worth the time nor effort to hold on to these negative feelings. You are right in your advice to focus on people that love and appreciate you. It provided me a sense of belonging rather than seeking it from an individual that has lost all respect for me.
Appreciate your blog posts Zan. Your posts have kept me positive, taught me self-respect, and allowed me to gain a better understanding of how breakups and relationships work.
I look forward to more of your post. Keep up the good work!
Best regards,
Michael
Hi Michael.
There’s no average time period that dumper stay victimized for. It depends on each person and the things that happen in her life. Your ex is stuck in the neutrality stage and keeps treating you badly because she hasn’t processed and anger resentment yet. It’s best to lose hope as she doesn’t seem to be willing to work on herself.
I can’t answer the questions about relationships that start with lies. Some last and others don’t. It’s about how accepting, forgiving, and similar a couple is morally.
Best regards,
Zan
Hi Michael
I read with interest your experience as I am currently going through something similar. My ex dumped me on September 2 (11 days of NC) as I had discovered she had monkey-branched to another, younger dude. She then blocked me on IG and threatened to block me should I try to call her. I was going to unfollow her on IG anyway so I guess she saved me the trouble.
I do not understand the whole ‘victim’ mentality of these people. I was with my ex for 2.5 years and it all seems like a waste of time. I’m struggling with NC – she’s on my mind every waking moment – but I have been strong so far. I’d love to get back with her but that is up to her and she needs to make major changes.
I know it’s been almost a year since your post so I hope things are going well with you.
Regards
David