Is My Ex In A Rebound Relationship Or Is It Over Forever?

“Is my ex is in a rebound relationship” is probably one of the most common questions dumpees ask themselves after the breakup. It’s not as common as “Will my ex come back,” but it’s still one of those questions that plague dumpees’ mind and makes them sleep-deprived.

If you’re one of those dumpees and you also can’t stop wondering if your ex is in a rebound relationship, the first thing you need to ask yourself is if you’re ready to learn the truth.

Are you desperately looking for information and hoping that your ex’s new relationship will fail or are you here because you’re curious to know what your ex’s rebound success rate is?

If it’s the former – to feel hopeful, you’ll probably get hurt by what I have to say and feel less hopeful about getting your ex back.

But if you’re ready for some well-researched, yet difficult to hear information and you want what’s best for you, then you’ve come to the right place.

In this article, we’ll discuss if your ex is in a rebound relationship and give you some tips on what to do and not to do to maximize your chances of getting back with your rebounding ex.

What is a rebound relationship?

First of all, many people seem to think that rebound relationships are relationships that start shortly after the previous long-term relationship. They think that all new relationships are rebounds and that their ex’s new relationship is most likely a rebound too.

But this may not be the case.

A rebound relationship isn’t a relationship that starts immediately after cheating, monkey-branching, or soon after the breakup.

A rebound relationship is a romantic relationship in which a person isn’t over his or her previous partner. It’s a relationship that can’t flourish because a person (or both people in the relationship) aren’t capable of letting go of the past yet.

Such relationships are by definition rebound relationship as couples aren’t able to connect with each other. They aren’t able to establish healthy relationship dynamics and develop a deep emotional bond.

Unlike normal couples who stay attracted to each other after they get to know each other, rebound partners feel disconnected and repelled by each other. Their initial emotions of excitement subside, so they lack the feelings that bind them together.

Rebound couples have no mutual respect, no shared visions, and certainly no love. They are in heartless relationships that are forced to exist and destined to end.

They’re ticking time bonds because people are in them for the wrong reasons. For reasons such as lust, infatuation, a lack of self-control, and to boost self-esteem.

That’s why rebound couples skip or rush through the attraction phases (infatuation, intense desire, mutual connection, love and soon, become emotionally incompatible.

So if your ex is dating someone new already and appears to be over you, don’t think that your ex is in a rebound relationship. Your ex is most likely just in a regular relationship and needs time to figure out if he or she is compatible with the new person.

Is my ex in a rebound relationship?

Now that you know what a rebound relationship is, let’s talk about dumpers’ post-breakup feelings.

If you’re a reader of this blog, you probably already know that most dumpers feel smothered, repulsed, angry, and victimized after the breakup. They feel relieved about their relationship coming to an end and often even blame their ex for the way they feel.

It goes without saying that such dumpers are over their ex. In their minds, they needed to break up to be happy, so there’s no more love in their heart.

All that’s left in its stead is the desire to be free and enjoy life without their ex.

It sucks to hear this and I wish things were different, but that’s what a breakup is. It’s a physical separation because emotional separation had already occurred days, weeks, or months prior to the breakup.

So next time you wonder whether your ex is in a rebound relationship, ask yourself the following question. “Is my ex still in love with me?“

If the answer is a strong yes (and you see your ex investing time and emotions in you), you have the answer you’re looking for. Your ex is in a rebound relationship and may come back once the infatuation stage ends.

But if the answer is no, your ex, unfortunately, isn’t rebounding. He or she is in a normal relationship that won’t end because of the same reasons rebounds do – emotional unavailability.

Your ex’s relationship may or may not end because of:

• inadequate relationship knowledge (poor communication, misperceptions)
• immaturity and bad emotional health (poor self-awareness, self-control, self-esteem, and mental illnesses)
• unhealthy relationship mentality and thinking patterns
• the inability to deal with stressors and disagreements
• a lack of ambition, shared interests, and relationship plans (marriage, kids, finances)
• and other reasons relationships end

Don’t get me wrong. Your ex’s relationship could still end and your ex could still come back to you even if your ex isn’t in a rebound. But this won’t happen because of the emotional connection your ex still has with you.

On the contrary, it will happen because you’re your ex’s best backup plan and the person he or she redevelops feelings for due to his or her romantic failure.

I think you’d be surprised to hear that most dumpers come back because their new relationship fails and they don’t know what to do with themselves.

How to tell if my ex is in a rebound relationship?

One of the best signs that your ex is in a rebound relationship is if your ex keeps telling you that he/she loves you and misses you. This sign indicates that you’re on your ex’s mind a lot and that he or she is torn between two people.

On one hand, your ex is scared of abandoning the steady relationship he or she has had with you, but on the other, your ex is infatuated with the new person and is curious about what a relationship with him or her could be like.

This means that your ex is choosing between temptations and comfort and doesn’t want to make the wrong decision. Your ex knows you’re a good choice, but because the new person makes your ex feel stronger emotions and brings many new experiences to the table, your ex feels more attracted to the new person and feels tempted to give the new relationship a try.

In your ex’s mind, a battle between impulsivity and rationality is taking place.

With that said, here’s how you can tell if your ex is in a rebound relationship.

So if you want to know if your ex is in a rebound relationship, study the way your ex speaks to you. Study his or her feelings for you and discern if your ex has a difficult time separating himself or herself from you.

If he/she does, your ex is in a rebound relationship and may come back when your ex and the new person encounter disagreements and relationship difficulties. But if your ex doesn’t miss you and appears to be on cloud nine, your ex is most likely not in a rebound.

Your ex is enjoying his or her relieved life and isn’t thinking about you very often.

What if my ex doesn’t miss me?

You can’t always tell if your ex is in a rebound relationship because most of the time, dumpers feel infatuated with the new person.

They post pictures of the new person on social media and do things they never did before. This is how they distract themselves and focus on moving forward with their lives.

But even if dumpers do that, you may still be able to spot a few hidden signs that your ex is in a rebound relationship.

You just have to take your ex’s relationship under the microscope and see if your ex and his or her partner are:

• arguing early on
• working against each other instead of with each other
• struggling with incompatibility issues and various differences
• talking to other people
• and if they’re emotionally undeveloped and not ready to be in a relationship

Don’t forget that most exes who come back do so not because they’re still in love with their ex back rather because their new relationship fails and makes them realize that their relationship with their ex gave them protection.

Getting back with dumpees for most dumpers is just a matter of security. It’s something that protects their self-esteem and ego and makes them feel secure.

So don’t worry about whether your ex is in a rebound relationship or not. Your ex’s new relationship could fail regardless of whether it’s a rebound.

And when it does, your ex could get back in touch with you and try to reconnect with you.

Will my ex come back after a rebound relationship?

Nobody knows if your ex will come back after a rebound relationship. But generally speaking, it really depends on:

• how good you were to your ex during and after the relationship
• how mature your ex is
• what your ex’s relationship mentality is like
• and whether your ex can disassociate negativity from your pre-breakup and post-breakup persona and start to respect you again

Many dumpers, unfortunately, can’t disassociate negativity from their ex. They feel hurt, angry, and smothered, so they usually continue to view their ex in a negative light.

They don’t believe that their exes can change and make them happy because that would mean they were wrong.

The only way such bullheaded dumpers can change the way they think about their ex is if they get dumped, hurt, depressed, ill, or experience some sort of an emotional setback. I’m talking about some kind of hardship that knocks them off the pedestal and makes their ex an equal to them.

I can’t tell you if your ex’s rebound will fail and if your ex will want you back afterward because I don’t know you. I don’t know what your relationship was like and how your ex thinks and deals with issues.

But if your ex regrets dumping you and wants you back, rest assured that you’ll be the first to know. Not only that, but you’ll also be in a mindset strong enough to decide whether your ex has learned his or her lesson and if your relationship deserves another chance.

You may think that it does right now because you’re thinking with your emotions. But when rationality kicks in and you discern that your ex treated you poorly by getting involved with someone new, that may change.

You may realize that your ex jumping into a new relationship was the most disrespectful thing that’s ever happened to you and that your ex realized your worth only because he or she failed with another person.

Keep in mind that mature people don’t need to compare you to another person to appreciate you.

They appreciate you because they see your good traits and accept your bad ones.

And yes, people make mistakes. We all do. But even so, not everyone deserves a second chance. It’s your job to figure out if your ex is worth it.

This is something time to yourself after the breakup will help you with.

Do exes come back after they rebound?

From what I see, dumpers who have romantic feelings for their ex do rebound and come back. They miss their ex and the bond they’d created with their ex, so they start feeling guilty and return the moment their rebound relationship loses momentum.

Such dumpers normally come back within a month or two and try their best to fix what they broke.

Dumpers who get involved with the wrong person but don’t have feelings for their ex also come back. They return because they realize that their ex is much better in contrast with the rebound person, so they run back to see if they can work something out.

The problem with dumpers who get involved with the wrong person and come back is that they don’t always stay. Sometimes they can’t fall back in love with their ex, so they leave shortly after (usually within a week or two).

As for dumpers who don’t have feelings for their ex and don’t necessarily get involved with a horrible person, such dumpers usually don’t come back. They don’t see a reason to because they lack the emotional incentive to return to a person for who they developed negative associations.

Now that you have these three categories to put your ex in, you should have a much easier time discerning if your ex will come back after the rebound.

My ex is in a rebound relationship what should I do?

If your ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend is in a rebound relationship and you want him or her back, don’t think that you must say or do something to win your ex back. This is not how breakups work.

You can’t convince someone to come back by asking nicely. And even if you somehow could, you still shouldn’t do that. You’re a person of high value that shouldn’t have to beg for love and recognition.

Love should be given to you on as silver platter. It’s the least you deserve.

So before you do something that lowers your worth, bear in mind that dumpers don’t want to be reasoned with. Most of them are stubborn creatures who detest anything and anyone who pushes them to change their mind.

If you don’t want to be detested and you want the best for yourself (as well as your ex), get the “I must do something” thoughts out of your head. Such thoughts aren’t helping you stay one step ahead of your ex.

They’re delaying your healing and making you more miserable than you can imagine.

Here are a few things you shouldn’t do when your ex is in a rebound relationship.

• asking your ex for another chance (aka begging and pleading)
• talking to your ex and hoping your ex will realize your worth
• messaging your ex’s new partner and telling him/her to back off
• stalking your ex in person and on social media
• threatening your ex
• asking your (ex’s) friends to knock some sense into your ex
• jumping into a new relationship or trying to make your ex jealous

Committing these post-breakup mistakes won’t tell your ex that you’re serious about him or her. It’ll tell your ex that you’re obsessed with him or her and that you lack the strength to stand up for yourself.

Also, don’t think that you must keep a close watch on your ex and wait for your ex to become vulnerable in the new relationship. You don’t need to laser focus on your ex and get ready to pounce when your ex and his or her new partner experience difficulties.

All you have to do is give their relationshp a fair chance and mind your own business.

When/if they go through challenging situations, your ex will probably talk to you and lean on you for emotional support. Your ex will show you that he or she needs you.

But if your ex doesn’t go through anything difficult, then your ex probably won’t open up to you.

Your ex could just breadcrumb you with apologetic and meaningless messages.

So what should I do if my ex is in a rebound relationship?

If your ex-bf/ex-gf is in a rebound relationship, it’s incredibly important that you stay on your best behavior at all times. Remain kind and patient throughout the whole process and retain your value as a dumpee.

You don’t need to do anything in regards to getting your ex back from the rebound person.

You just have to:

• remain patient, confident, and self-aware
• prioritize yourself and exude high self-esteem
• give your ex’s new relationship space
• wait for your ex and his/her rebound partner to encounter personality clashes
• avoid making typical breakup mistakes
• invest in parts of your life that are lacking and strive to become the best version of yourself
• and wait for your ex to want you back

If your ex truly is in a rebound, he or she will have a difficult time connecting to the new person and will probably realize your potential. Your ex will think about you more and more every day until your ex falls back in love with you over the distance and reaches out.

So before that happens, show your ex that you respect his or her decision and convey to your ex that you’ll be okay with or without him or her.

Always remember that anxiety and desperation aren’t attractive. Confidence, self-esteem, and the strength to live without your ex are.

What if my ex isn’t in a rebound relationship?

If your ex isn’t in a rebound relationship, you need to act as if your ex was. You need to stay in indefinite no contact and do your best to let go of your ex.

Whether your ex is on the way back or not, you need to keep losing hope and moving on.

Most people don’t like to hear that they have to move on because they’re still hoping that their ex will change his or her mind and come back. But let me tell you that detaching and moving on is breakup advice 101.

It’s extremely important to keep moving on because whether your ex wants you back or not, your ex needs to know that you respect yourself. He or she needs to know that you love yourself more than him or her and that you’re capable of being happy on your own.

So if you can’t tell if your ex is in a rebound relationship or in a regular relationship, know that you can’t go wrong by stopping communication and distancing yourself from your ex.

Anything that leaves your ex alone, lets your heal, boosts personal growth, and prevents emotional setbacks is the right thing to do.

Is your ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend in a rebound relationship? How did you handle it when you found out? Post your comment below.