Ignoring An Ex That Dumped You

If your ex reached out and you feel tempted to ignore your ex, know that ignoring isn’t the best way to handle the breadcrumbs.

When you ignore the person who left you, he or she won’t feel rejected like you do. On the contrary, he or she will remember the reasons for leaving, feel the emotions associated with those reasons, and decrease his or her respect for you.

Ignoring an ex that dumped you isn’t a very successful reconciliation method. It can’t make the dumper miss you unless the dumper already misses you and wants you back. But in that case, there’s no need to ignore your ex. You can just respond to the dumper and see if his or her missing is romantic or friendly.

If the dumper misses the romantic aspect of the relationship, the dumper will tell you or show you that (probably both). He or she will naturally gravitate toward you and want you back as quickly as possible.

But if the dumper shows no signs of regret (anxiety, fear, nervousness, shame, etc.) then you can make things easier for both parties involved and tell your ex you need space and that you’re not open to friendship.

You can communicate your desire for space and healing verbally. There’s no need to ignore your ex. Although explaining yourself is way harder than ignoring, it’s also much less respectful. It shows you can express yourself clearly and proves you don’t have any hard feelings toward the person who dumped you.

Ignoring, on the other hand, is risky. It can be perceived as mean, uncaring, or vengeful and can cause the dumper to think or react negatively. Both are equally bad as they kill respect and make reconciliation and healing harder.

So if your ex reached out, tagged you, or sent you pictures, bear in mind that ignoring an ex that dumped you isn’t the wisest thing to do. It especially isn’t the wisest if you’re hoping your ex will feel rejected and want you back.

If you ignore your ex, you won’t make your ex feel that he or she is missing out on someone great but that leaving you was the right thing to do.

That’s because you’ll show you feel hurt and victimized and that you want to punish your ex for leaving.

The dumper doesn’t want to think that he or she is a bad person. If your actions show that you think that way, the dumper could protect himself or herself by saying something mean, ignoring you back, or deleting and blocking you.

There’s no telling what will happen if you ignore an ex that reached out after dumping you.

But one thing I do know is that the dumper won’t like it and that ignoring behavior is frowned upon. Those who know you or were in a romantic relationship with you believe they deserve a response from you after everything they went through with you and that a lack of response is disrespectful.

The dumper won’t think that you’re ignoring him or her just because you’re hurt. He or she will likely take the ignoring personally and respond accordingly. 

Every situation is different, of course, but if you ignore your ex when he or she reaches out and checks up on you, chances are your ex won’t like it.

And although it doesn’t matter what your ex thinks and feels after the breakup, you probably don’t want to doubt your decision later when you realize it might not have made you look more attractive.

If you still love your ex and want to maximize your chances of making your ex redevelop romantic feelings, you have to be polite and mature. Respond to your ex, but don’t entertain your ex for no reason. Be clear in stating how you expect the breakup to unfold and what you need from your ex to recover.

Do this properly and your ex will have one less reason to dislike you and not be with you.

Of course, how you behave post-breakup isn’t the only requirement for getting back together. Your ex’s feelings for you also depend on things happening to and around your ex. If your ex gets in a pickle and suffers, it’s much more likely that your ex will reflect and want you back than if your ex doesn’t encounter any problems. 

But what if you don’t want your ex back?

You still shouldn’t ignore your ex. Your post-breakup behavior shouldn’t change depending on what you can get from your ex. You should always strive to be mature and respectful even if your ex is trying to get a reaction out of you.

This will ensure that you keep growing and developing healthy habits. 

In this post, we discuss what ignoring an ex who dumped you does to the dumper and why you should not ignore your ex if you want to grow as a person and/or start a new relationship with your ex.

Avoid ignoring an ex who dumped you

To be honest, ignoring has brought some exes back, but only exes who were going to come back anyway. I’m talking about exes who dumped their ex to extort power and make their ex change his or her behavior and attitude.

Because dumpees didn’t reach out and validate their dumpers, dumpers got scared of losing the relationship and came back despite getting ignored.

Such dumpers lost control over their ex and felt that getting back together would give them the validation they needed to feel valued and secure. 

If it’s been a week or two and your ex hasn’t come back yet, your ex obviously didn’t leave you to manipulate you into becoming the person he or she wanted you to become. Your ex left you because your ex fell out of love and gave up on the relationship.

Ignoring your ex won’t change the outcome of the relationship. It won’t return your ex’s feelings. It will probably just make your ex think that you’re bitter and that it’s better to stop interacting with you.

Although some dumpers reach out again despite getting ignored, they normally do this because they have a hidden agenda. They either want to keep their ex around as a friend or someone they can control and benefit from.

You shouldn’t let your ex string you along, but that doesn’t mean you should ignore your ex. You need to look for a healthy response to your ex’s breadcrumbs. A healthy response is any response that expresses your wants and needs considerately.

Even though your ex has hurt you immensely, you must remember that your ex doesn’t know or care how you feel and that your reply should be rational. It will send the message that you’re an emotionally intelligent individual who doesn’t take breakups personally and act on urges.

No matter how badly you want to react to your ex, remember that it won’t make your ex want to be with you and that it could prevent your ex from redeveloping respect and feelings. It could convince your ex that you’re not the right person for him or her and that the breakup was the right decision.

I know you’re hurt and that your ex doesn’t deserve you after the breakup. I also know that your ex doesn’t deserve your friendship. But if you don’t want to talk to your ex (which you shouldn’t), you should tell your ex that.

Say that you’re not ready for friendship and that you don’t want to communicate.

Your ex should take the hint. Most dumpers do because they’ve been dumped before. They may not feel how their ex feels, but they respect their ex’s choices and leave their ex alone when their ex asks for it.

If you ignore your ex instead of explaining how you feel, your chances of reconciliation will decrease significantly. They won’t go down to 0, but they’ll be way lower compared to handling your ex’s breadcrumbs maturely.

So if you’re hoping your ex will see your improvements and worth and eventually come back, don’t ignore the person you’re trying your best to impress. Ignoring may show you’re tough, but it will also show you’re hurt, bitter, and way too disinterested.

Your ex won’t think highly of you if your perception of him or her is negative. Your ex won’t do it even if your ex has a lot of issues and needs your help.

Just as you communicated with your ex when you were together, you must also communicate now that you’re not together. Healthy communication is extremely important, so talk for a minute or two until you’ve expressed your wants and needs.

Once you’ve expressed that you don’t want to stay in touch, you can then look for a quick but respectful way to exit the conversation.

Say something like, “It’s good to hear from you, but I need some time to think things through. I’ll let you know when/if I’m ready to talk. Take care.”

That should make you sound respectful and look strong and determined.

You want to avoid making your ex think you’re taking the breakup personally and that you’re waiting for him or her to take you back. If anyone should ask for a second chance, it’s your ex. So be respectful and let your ex come to you.

Your ex has to put in the effort, not you.

That being said, here’s what happens when you ignore a breadcrumbing ex.

When should you ignore an ex that dumped you?

You could or should ignore your dumper ex when your ex says or does things that hurt you and your loved ones.

When your ex plays jealousy/mind games, calls you names, enters your home without permission, contacts your new partner, or keeps talking to you even though you’ve asked for space multiple times, you can safely ignore your ex and let him or her think and feel what he or she wants. 

How your ex interprets your ignoring doesn’t matter after you’ve made it clear that you don’t want to talk and that you’ll have no choice but to block. At that point, all that matters is how you feel and what you need to recover from the breakup.

Feel free to ignore your ex when:

• you’ve asked for space at least twice
• warned your ex that you will ignore or block him/her
• experienced harassment
• realized your ex doesn’t want you to be happy

What if I already ignored my ex?

If you ignored an ex who dumped you and it’s been only a day or two, you can reply to your ex and say you still need time to yourself. You can explain that you aren’t ready to communicate and that you’ll reach out if you feel ready.

However, if it’s been days since your ex reached out, then you probably shouldn’t contact your ex. If you contact your ex after ignoring him or her for days or weeks, it won’t be a response, but rather a reach-out. It will show you’ve become interested in speaking again and that you want or need something from your ex.

In that case, it may be better not to respond to your ex and let no contact heal your wounds.

Some exes reach out after ignoring their ex and usually get ignored or disinterested replies. It’s up to you if you want to take that risk.

But from what I’ve seen, it doesn’t change anything. The dumper still thinks of the dumpee the same way and doesn’t see any point in reconnecting emotionally. To want the dumpee back, something big needs to change.

Something that affects his perception of the dumpee and most likely of himself. Most dumpers run back to their ex when their self-esteem takes a hit.

That’s when they learn a few things.

1. That they overestimated themselves.
2. That they underestimated their ex’s importance.
3. That the easiest way to deal with their problems and heal is to get their ex’s validation.

Dumpers want their ex back when they can no longer meet their needs, at least in the short term. When anxiety strikes, they lose the ability to think rationally and don’t want to take their time to heal and find someone else.

That would take forever. Pain makes them want to feel secure and happy right away. That’s why they often reconnect with their ex as soon as they can.

Not all exes come back because of pain, of course, but if you want to be with your ex, pain is your best bet. You must avoid reaching out to your ex (even if you ignored your ex) and wait for your ex to find a good reason to want to be with you.

When your ex finds that reason, your ex will contact you and make plans with you. Your job is to wait and avoid doing things that would make your ex glad that he or she left.

Are you thinking of ignoring an ex that dumped you? What is your ex saying or doing to make you want to do that? Share your ex’s breadcrumbs in the comments area below.

And if you want to talk privately about your breakup, sign up for private coaching here.

Zan

My name is Zan and I’m the founder of Magnet of Success. I enjoy writing realistic relationship and breakup articles and helping readers heal and grow. With more than 5 years of experience in the self-improvement, relationship, and breakup sphere, my goal is to provide advice that fosters positivity and success and avoids preventable mistakes and pain. Buy me a coffee, learn more about me, or get in touch today.