Is My Ex Playing Mind Games With Me?

If you’re asking yourself, “Is my ex playing mind games with me,” I can tell you that your ex likely isn’t playing mind games with you.

What your ex is probably doing—is hurting you unintentionally with his or her lack of care, indecisiveness, and disrespectful post-breakup behavior.

It’s possible that your ex is sending you breadcrumbs and refusing to commit to you. Or perhaps your ex is living the time of his or her life without you and only appears to be playing mind games with you.

Whatever the case may be, dumpers more often than not don’t play mind games with us.

They instead prefer to focus on their new-found freedom and enjoy the peace and quiet.

Dating, drinking, going out a lot and talking to new people are just a few things they tend to indulge in.

This is why you better not act on impulse and accuse your ex of failing to take responsibility and show respect to you.

If you’re not 100% certain your ex is playing mind games with you, you’re better off not embarrassing yourself and raising your ex’s eyebrows.

But as innocent as we’ve made dumpers sound, there are however some dumpers (males or females) who do play mind games with us.

They are generally the type of people who are:

  • immature
  • vengeful
  • narcissistic
  • full of hatred and negative thoughts
  • lacking self-awareness and self-control

So if your ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend is playing mind games with you with the intention to hurt you, this article will advise you on what you can do.

Is my ex playing mind games

Is my ex playing mind games with me?

If you’re trying to figure out how you can tell if your ex is playing mind games with you, look at your ex’s behavior.

Determine whether your ex is directing his or her bad behavior directly at you or if your ex is just not showing any signs of care and respect.

For example, if your ex is posting a lot on social media platforms, such as Facebook and Instagram, your ex might not intentionally be trying to hurt you.

Your ex could only be enjoying his or her time after the breakup by doing various post-breakup activities that he or she likes to do.

And that’s not something you should judge your ex for even if he or she makes you feel anxious or uncomfortable.

You must understand that you’re the one responsible for your own health and happiness after the breakup.

You get to control what you think and feel toward people.

So don’t condemn your ex just because your ex is happy and you’re miserable.

You won’t accomplish what you’re after even if you try to make your ex partially responsible for his or her awful mistreatment.

This is especially true if you unleash your fury on your ex and attempt to force your ex to come to a realization.

The most you will achieve is get blocked on social media and encourage your ex to post even more demeaning quotes and pictures.

Why is my ex playing mind games with me?

When your ex is playing mind games with you and wants you to suffer as the dumpee, your ex is, of course—trying to hurt you for a reason.

Before we get to the whys, you must first realize that your ex is incredibly immature and doesn’t care one bit about his or her image, let alone karma.

Because you’ve “made” your ex feel disrespected throughout the relationship, your ex is now fixated on revenge.

In other words, he or she is seeing red and is out to get you in the most hurtful ways.

Your ex’s powerful post-breakup emotions could cause your ex to retaliate by:

  • playing jealousy games
  • trash-talking you
  • spreading rumors
  • turning your own friends against you
  • saying how happy he or she is next to you
  • manipulating you
  • trying to make you react negatively to validate him or her
  • blaming you for making him or her feel bad

Some dumpers play mind games with their dumpees when they believe that they are the victims.

Due to their underdeveloped, victim mentality, they single-handedly try to get back at the person whose behavior they perceive as unfair.

But little do they know that what they’re doing is vengeful and incredibly self-destructive.

Here are 4 reasons why your ex is playing mind games with you.

Why is my ex playing mind games with me

People who resort to vindictive acts often suffer from various mental disorders such as narcissism.

And chances are your ex does too.

Your ex’s mind games will help you leave your ex behind!

If your ex is a narcissist, he or she is actually going to make your post-breakup life much easier for you.

Despite causing you initial pain, your ex will help you detach and move on from him or her in the long run.

That’s because your ex’s actions will help you lose hope and leave you with nothing to hold onto anymore.

You see, when your ex treats you badly and shows you how little he or she respects himself or herself as well as others, your ex sends you an important message.

Your ex tells you what he or she is like as the dumper and gives you a strong reason to find someone better.

So thank your ex for showing you his or her true colors—as getting over someone who hurts you intentionally is easier than recovering from a person who seems perfect in every single way.

What do I do if my ex is playing mind games?

When your ex plays mind games with you, don’t react the way your ex expects you to react.

It will only give your ex’s despicable actions meaning and further fuel him or her.

As a person with self-respect, you must always remain the bigger person and do what’s best for you and your recovery.

This means you should tell your ex that you won’t be talking to him or her for some time.

And once you’ve said that, unfollow or delete your ex off social media, get rid of reminders of your ex, and exclude your ex from your life in every way, shape, or form.

Only after you’ve protected yourself and ensured your own safety—will you be able to start getting better and leave your ex behind for good.

So if you want to do what’s best for you, don’t retaliate negatively or tolerate your ex’s manipulative games.

Alternatively, take the actions necessary to distance yourself from your ex and let your ex deal with his or her frustrations on his or her own.

Avoiding your ex’s mind games

Please understand that as long as you stay within your ex’s reach, your ex will continue using his or her post-breakup power against you.

Your ex will continue his or her onslaught and manipulate you for a very, very long and painful time.

Such abuse could last until your ex finds someone new to practice his or her games on or till your ex finally feels better from hurting and abusing you.

That’s why it might be in your best interest not to stick around and hope that your ex will eventually calm down.

As long as your ex is acting mean and disrespectful toward you and doesn’t know how to control his or her emotions, your ex is never going to change and reevaluate his or her actions.

Your ex will instead just get bored and tired of feeling the way he or she does and move on to something more exciting.

Should I play mind games with my ex if I want my ex back?

If you’re a reader of this blog, you already know that you shouldn’t play mind games with your ex.

You shouldn’t ignore, block, and attempt to starve your ex of validation to manipulate your ex to your way of thinking.

As a person who cares about his or her moral values, you shouldn’t do something dishonest and disrespectful just to grab your ex’s attention.

In all honesty, even if you try to fight fire with fire, you won’t achieve anything.

And the reason for that is very simple.

Your ex is currently in a stronger position than you. He or she is mainly or fully detached, so playing games with him or her will have the opposite of the desired effect.

Instead of bringing your ex closer to you and stopping his or her mind games, you will pour more fuel on the fire and make your complicated situation even worse.

You will unknowingly challenge your ex’s toxic behavior head-on and expect to win the battle that you’ve already lost.

So don’t think that you will beat your ex at his or her own game.

All you will do is sink to his or her level and validate your ex’s malicious deeds.

Is the no contact rule a mind game?

The indefinite no contact rule is anything but a mind game.

Its primary objective is to help you heal and detach from your ex so that you can once again function like an ordinary, healthy, anxiety-free person.

As for the secondary purpose of no contact, it’s about leaving your ex alone—which can have a pacifying effect on your ex.

The time in no contact can force your ex to stop playing mind games with you and give him or her the space to breathe and relax.

That’s why the no contact rule is no joke.

It’s crucial for the dumpee to move on and for the dumper to do what he or she wants.

So if you’re ever deciding between following the rules of no contact and putting up with your ex’s mind games, please don’t hesitate to go with the former option.

Go no contact and give to yourself the medicine that you deserve.

There’s no telling how long your ex could deliberately keep hurting you after the breakup.

The only thing you do know is that there’s no time to waste.

What do I do if my ex doesn’t leave me alone?

When your ex hates you and continues to play mind games with you, it’s time for plan B.

Let your ex’s friends and family members know that he or she is intentionally causing you problems.

Usually, this should make the dumper reconsider his or her nasty behavior.

That’s because most people are afraid of being judged by their loved ones—and chances are your ex will too.

So tell the people he or she is close to that your ex is holding grudges against you—and that he or she is taking them out on you.

However, if that doesn’t work, then there’s only one more thing you can do.

Depending on the severity of your ex’s bitterness, you should consider contacting the local police and applying for a restraining order.

You should basically do whatever you need to do to guarantee your health and safety.

Is your ex playing mind games with you? Are you thinking of distancing yourself from your ex out of self-protection? Kindly let me know what your intentions are by posting a comment.

7 thoughts on “Is My Ex Playing Mind Games With Me?”

  1. Hello, Me and my ex best friend Katie had a huge bust up 6 months ago as she has gone round spreading lies and false accusations about me to all my family and friends as I’ve known for 27 years as i had nothing but good intentions for her.

    Reply
  2. My ex tried to play games with me by holding onto my daughters possessions. She wanted to bring them to me but I refused telling her to nail them. She was the dumper. She found them 3 months ago and hasn’t returned them. I chased her three times and gave up. She might have held onto them for power reasons or to contact in future but she’ll never be let back in. I never want to speak to her or see her face again. Not worth opening old wounds.

    Reply
    • Hi Jaytee.

      You and your daughter will be better off without her. You don’t need the kind of person in your life who refuses to cooperate after the breakup. Stay far away from her, Jaytee!

      Zan

      Reply
  3. My son father and I been together for 5 years . I didn’t respect my self several times by forgiving his cheating ways. Eventually I thought he changed he got better cheating I caught him out with a married woman they been talking for a year crushing. I now went no contact only email contact if it’s about the kids I respond. His mind games in the email has me in disgust reading it he doesn’t accept full responsibility always writing you not perfect either then he miss his family . Then when I don’t respond he try to make it about the kids. It hurt me to see what he is and how he never valued me.

    Reply
  4. My ex is playing mind games with himself. I have stuck fairly well to the no contact rule. I knew it was what he wanted and discovering your blog helped me understand why. Thank you. My anger runs deep at the moment. Letting go of caring for him was difficult. I had his back and gave him stability. My success in love and life will hurt him and I am okay with that. In the end I asked him if he was sure he wanted to leave his pot star wife and he was finished. Head went down on the table and he was emotionally exhausted. He was in love with someone else and was running away after eighteen years. He is a people pleaser and playing mind games to save face with friends and family. The anxiety must be crushing.

    Reply
    • Hi Sunshine.

      He didn’t have his priorities straight so he fell for someone else. It happens to people who aren’t grateful for what they have.

      Stay strong!
      Zan

      Reply

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