I Can’t Stop Analyzing My Ex’s Social Media Behavior

Back in the day, there were no phones, no computers, and certainly no Facebook and Instagram to keep tabs on people’s lives. So when couples broke up and parted ways, they couldn’t really check up on each other.

They could, of course, ask their friends and acquaintances about what their ex is doing, but other than that, they didn’t have a whole lot of ways to stalk their exes and feed their brains with post-breakup anxiety.

Because of this lack of “ex-information,” they were able to minimize the time obsessing about their exes and get over the breakup in a relatively short amount of time.

Today though, this is not the case. Social media has made moving on for couples much, much harder than it used to be. Not only do a great majority of people have social media accounts where they post about their lives on a regular basis, but they also publish happy quotes, pictures, and memes about how well they’re doing.

They post the best of the best of their lives—and by doing so, hurt those who care deeply about them. Their dumpees.

By hurting them, they make dumpees crazy obsessed with them, and ultimately, force them to analyze their dumpers’ new-found happiness.

This drives dumpees insane because they just can’t fathom how their ex can be happy while they’re miserable. They’re dying from pain and their ex appears to be on top of the world, happy as a clam.

If your ex appears to be elated and you can’t stop analyzing your ex’s social media behavior, know that you’re not alone. Most dumpees can’t stop thinking about their ex because they’re hurting over the loss of their relationship. They’re suffering from separation anxiety and are desperate for physical, emotional, and mental relief.

This is why they analyze their breakup, relive it a hundred times a day, and overanalyze everything their dumper ex says and does on social media.

They analyze their ex’s happiness, facial expressions, clothes, a decrease/increase of social media activity, and the people their dumper hangs out with. Any kind of change and activity or the lack thereof on their ex’s end is food for thought to them.

Dumpees can’t get enough of their ex and the information they provide because the more information they receive, the better they feel. And there’s a reason why they feel better.

That reason is that analyzing their ex makes them feel in control and temporarily lowers their anxiety. It makes them feel slightly better because they get a sense of control.

But unfortunately, analyzing their ex’s behavior comes at a high cost.

If they analyze their ex’s behavior too much and neglect the importance of self-growth and moving on, they soon develop an ex-obsession. An obsession that makes them extremely dependent on positive information.

As long as dumpees receive some kind of information about their ex and know what’s going on in their ex’s lives, they keep their anxiety relatively low and stay in control.

But when they lose control of their breakup situation and have no idea what their ex is doing and, they quickly start to panic. They become desperate for control and start looking for ways to regain it.

Dumpees are basically ex-addicts. They want their ex back so badly that they look for anything that gives them hope. This can be anything from their ex’s new relationship ending to seeing their ex sad and miserable without them.

They may not admit it, but they secretly look for signs that their ex will come back and/or make them feel better.

In this post, we’ll talk about analyzing an ex on social media and discuss ways to stop analyzing everything your ex says and does.

I can’t stop analyzing my ex!

Keep in mind that everyone is a “little bit” obsessed with their dumper ex after the breakup. Everyone wants their ex to come back or at least to validate them.

I did too when my ex broke up with me. I had trouble eating and sleeping and couldn’t stop wondering what my ex was up to.

Because I was depressed, I desperately needed to know if she was missing me as much as I was missing her, and if there was something I could do to increase her chances of coming back.

Little did I know that analyzing her social media behavior wasn’t going to help me. It couldn’t because it just made me more anxious and created more questions that I didn’t really need answers to.

Another thing that made my moving on difficult was all the conflicting ex-back guides I read and watched on the internet. I could say I was naive at the time as I believed that ex-back coaches had my best interest at heart.

Some suggested that I follow the 30-day no contact rule and wait 30 days before I contact my ex and some that I text my ex back after a few days. But almost all (if not all of them) preyed on my hopes, fears, and anxiety and made me analyze my ex to infinity and beyond.

They all tried to convince me that I could get my ex back if I purchased their services and prepared some master response.

I was hurt, but luckily, I didn’t fall for any of their shenanigans. My commons sense still prevailed as it told me that exes have to come back on their own otherwise they remain in charge of the breakup and fail to develop love and respect for us.

It took me a while, but I eventually learned that I couldn’t use sneaky ex-back techniques. This includes ex-back letters and spells to get your ex-back scams that were supposedly going to trigger nostalgia, love, and care in my ex.

My ex was partying hard, so I strongly doubted that reaching out to my ex and appearing confident would somehow reignite my ex’s feelings for me. If it were that simple, most people would get their ex back.

But despite avoiding ex-back scams, I still made mistakes. I still felt hopeful for reconciliation, so I occasionally stalked my ex on social media. and found exactly the opposite of what I was looking for. Instead of finding her sad and miserable, I found her relieved and ecstatic.

She was going out a lot all of a sudden and showed interest in things she never did before. This hurt me badly – mostly because I couldn’t understand why she didn’t do those things with me.

I nearly begged her to do them with me before and she always said no. But now that we were broken up, she was participating in all sorts of old and new activities. I took it so personally that I blamed myself for holding her back from exploring the world and being her true self.

I thought it was all my fault.

But as time went on, I developed better self-esteem and understood that her behavior had nothing to do with who I was as a person. It had everything to do with her feeling smothered for weeks before she finally left and released her bottled-up unhappiness into the world.

Why can’t I stop thinking about my ex?

If you’re following the rules of no contact and you’re minding your own business, chances are that you’re still crazy obsessed with your ex.

You probably still analyze your ex and your mistakes even though you’re not doing anything to feed your ex-obsession.

This is completely normal. Rest assured that thinking about an ex and analyzing the breakup is something we all do. We all do it to cope with fears and anxiety and to make ourselves feel stronger.

The good thing about analyzing though is that it gradually disappears as long as you don’t deliberately analyze your ex and make yourself more anxious in the process.

As long as you think about your ex only when you’re suffering badly, you should soon get over the breakup and stop thinking about your ex.

I can’t say how long it will take you because each person copes with stress differently, but if you’re losing reconciliation hope and you’re focusing on yourself, you can be certain that you’ll soon stop overanalyzing.

You’ll fall back in love with yourself and worry about the things that actually matter in your life.

If you don’t know why you can’t stop thinking about your ex, here’s an infographic that might explain it better.

How can I stop analyzing my ex?

To stop overanalyzing your ex, you have to get rid of that which makes you obsessed with your ex. If you’re watching your ex’s Instagram stories and studying the meaning behind your ex’s Facebook quotes, you obviously aren’t enabling yourself to stop analyzing your ex’s behavior.

On the contrary, you’re hurting yourself and allowing yourself to continue to go through ups and downs. You’re basically feeding your ex-obsession, and you need to stop it.

One way for you to stop is to take the breakup seriously and do the opposite of what your heart tells you to do.

Instead of keeping tabs on your ex and forcing your anxiety into your system, unfollow or delete your ex. Push your ex out of sight because watching your ex’s social media posts after the breakup can’t possibly help you.

It especially can’t help you if your ex started dating someone else and appears happier than ever.

In that case, analyzing your ex’s every move will make you even more desperate for love and recognition and make you dependent on some kind of positive feedback.

So just don’t do it. Don’t torture yourself by deliberately analyzing your ex’s social media.

If you can’t stop looking at your ex’s social media posts, then go with plan b. Develop better self-control and rebuild your self-esteem from the ground up.

You can do that by signing up for therapy and finding something other than your ex to obsess about. Something that has a positive effect on you.

What else can I do to stop overanalyzing my ex?

Other than letting time do its work, there’s a lot you can do to stay busy and stop analyzing your ex’s (social media) behavior after the breakup.

You can hang out with friends, do sports, exercise, engage in captivating activities, focus on work, and stay active.

It doesn’t really matter what you do as long as you don’t stay at home and scroll through Facebook all day. Doing so won’t help your brain detox from your ex. It will instead give you plenty of time to think about your ex.

Remember that it’s the inactivity that makes you analyze your ex.

One more thing you can do to avoid analyzing your ex is to stop going to places and engaging in activities that remind you of your ex. You don’t have to completely forget about such things, but do consider putting them on hold for a little while.

You’ll feel much less sentimental and miss your ex much more if you do.

So to stop analyzing your ex and everything related to your ex, do that which promotes healing. Keep your mind and body active and ex-free as much as you can and you’ll soon realize that you wonder about your ex the most when you’re alone at home and have nothing productive to do.

How to stop thinking about your ex after months?

It’s not unusual to have your ex on your mind months after the breakup. In fact, it’s very common as most dumpees reminisce about the past and torture themselves with could-haves and should-haves.

They do it because they:

1. Aren’t over their ex yet.
2. Value their ex above them.
3. Still want their ex back.

If it’s been months and you’re thinking to yourself, “Why can’t I stop thinking about my ex even though months have gone by,” bear in mind that your ex has hurt you deeply.

He or she created a wound in your heart that requires time, effort, and personal strength to heal. And the only way this wound will heal is with self-love.

So if you don’t know where to start in regards to analyzing your ex, start from the beginning.

1. Practice self-love affirmations and rebuild self-esteem.
2. Get rid of false hope and high expectations.
3. Become genuinely busy with yourself and others.
4. Take your focus off your ex and become passionate about something that isn’t your ex.
5. Talk to friends, family, or mental health experts about the breakup if you need to. But when you’re not obsessing about your ex and have spare time on your hands, don’t intentionally obsess about your ex.
6. Learn to let go and become happy again.

Has this article given you some tips on how to stop analyzing your ex? Are you still thinking about your ex? Share your thoughts with us below.

Zan

My name is Zan and I’m the founder of Magnet of Success. I enjoy writing realistic relationship and breakup articles and helping readers heal and grow. With more than 5 years of experience in the self-improvement, relationship, and breakup sphere, my goal is to provide advice that fosters positivity and success and avoids preventable mistakes and pain. Buy me a coffee, learn more about me, or get in touch today.