Don’t Fall For The 30-day No Contact Rule Scam

A 30-day no-contact rule is a period of time during which you “ignore” your ex-partner. I don’t like the word ignore. Instead, I should say you refuse to make contact with your ex.

No-contact rule is essential when it comes to getting back with your ex. The time away from your ex heals a few wounds and erases some of the negative memories associated with your persona. It also makes your ex miss you as a person and the way you contributed to his or her life. By going no-contact, you avoid making post-breakup mistakes which can otherwise push your ex off the face of Earth.

The psychology behind the no-contact rule is to allow your ex to process the breakup and reach out when he or she is ready—and not the other way around. For that to happen, you must distance yourself from your ex and allow the rules of psychology to have an effect on your ex.

If you end up reaching out, you could see an angry side of your ex you never knew was there. Instead of infuriating your ex, focus on yourself and your own well-being.

The 30-day no-contact rule means no:

  • calling or texting
  • showing up at your ex’s place
  • talking about him or her around your mutual friends
  • social media engagement at all (Facebook, Snapchat, Twitter, Instagram…)
  • doing anything that shows interest in his or her life

What happens if I slip up during the 30-day no-contact rule and reach out?

You reopen your wound and suffer from the separation anxiety all over again.

Moreover, it doesn’t give your ex the time to miss you so you need to start all over again.

In this article, we’ll talk about the psychology behind the 30-day no contact rule.

30 day no contact rule psychology

When does it work?

The 30-day no-contact rule works in most cases when the breakup was a spontaneous decision and the couple broke up due to an argument in the heat of the moment.

In such cases, the one who initiated the breakup (dumper) eventually starts regretting his decision because he misses the dumpee. Eventually, he or she can’t handle it anymore and reaches out. This will normally happen within the first 3 weeks after the breakup.

Anything after that could mean one of the following things.

  1. The dumper is one stubborn son of a ***** and you shouldn’t want to be with this person anyway.
  2. Your ex is trying to move on.

What does it mean when your ex reaches out?

Your ex could say something like:

  • I miss you
  • how’s the dog doing?
  • did you find my toothbrush?
  • I hope we can be friends

In case your ex reaches out first, you politely tell him or her that you want to focus on moving on.

Unless he tells you that he wants to get back together, you must stay away, and give the love and attention to yourself. The 30-day no-contact rule is meant for you to properly move on with your life without the constant reminders of your ex.

“Okay, so what does it actually mean?”

In most cases, your ex is just testing the waters. He’s wondering if you still love him/her, what you’re up to, who you’re hanging out with, etc.

These messages don’t signify any desire to get back together. Because of that, they can be replied to nonchalantly.

You only want to take the next step when your ex specifically says:

  • I was wrong about the breakup
  • I want to get back together
  • I’m so sorry, I now realize what I lost

What does it mean when your ex doesn’t reach out?

This can depend on the reason he or she left. If it was for someone else or your ex found someone new shortly after, then your ex probably won’t keep in touch with you during the 30-day no-contact period.

If your ex is in a rebound relationship, I would say it could take him until the day he realizes his or her new fling isn’t so great (1-4 months) to reach out.

Any more than that would probably mean your ex’s new relationship is somewhat stable and he or she doesn’t miss you enough to get in touch with you. When that relationship does come to an end, your ex will likely seek out people that can give him or her comfort (that’s you).

On the other hand, if your relationship ended on bad terms and our ex is still single and doesn’t reach out, then perhaps you need to wait longer for his or her regret phase to kick in.

This could take a long time. If it takes longer than 9 months, then simply let it go. Erase your ex out of existence because he or she doesn’t deserve the attention you are prepared to give to this person.

The 30-day no-contact rule doesn’t work when the dumper has simply had enough and wants to quit.

Respect his/her wishes and give your ex plenty more time and not just a month. By giving your ex space you risk him or her moving on and finding someone else.

Unfortunately, there is no other way around this. People have free will and will do whatever they think is best for them. Remember, you cannot cry your way back into your ex’s heart.

It’s been 30 days and your ex hasn’t reached out

First of all, you haven’t healed completely yet because you are still pining over your ex. You have got to think about your own well-being and extend the 30-day no contact period. Only this time, it’s permanently.

Your ex just doesn’t want to get back together with you at the moment. You have got to respect that and find happiness in life without him or her.

As things are, your ex is too preoccupied with other people and events. To be honest, he or she was just an addition to your life, not a replacement in the first place. I’m not saying you should lose hope forever, but don’t put your whole life on hold because of it either.

30-day no contact rule is just a myth

After extensively researching this topic, I can guarantee that 30 days to get your ex back is nothing but a myth, devised by the cunnings breakup experts.

Everybody processes the breakup differently—and 30 days is usually not even close to getting an ex back. This gimmick is not based on any psychological theory, hence why it should be dismissed completely.

On the positive note, you will undeniably feel much better after 30 days of no contact. You might even feel so good you won’t dare to break it and regress mentally.

This is the time when you want to start enjoying life to the fullest again. Become the best version of yourself and work on your shortcomings.

The odds of getting back together with your ex will be significantly higher if you can showcase the change in your evolution. Strive to become that person he always wanted you to be—and do it for yourself.

Instead of counting down your days, do the Indefinite no-contact rule instead.

Let me know what you think of the 30-day no-contact rule in the comments below. Has it worked for you or are you still following it?

48 thoughts on “Don’t Fall For The 30-day No Contact Rule Scam”

  1. Hi Guys

    I dont believe the 30 day no contact rules or 60 days or whatever. Each relationships are unique which is why each of them have different points. If you want to get back, your ex you are supposed to know the best way how to do it , not the experts.

    The only thing which I can recommend is try to be as happy as possible , be aware of the circumstances , determine the best timing and lastly attempt. It is nice if it works nevertheless if it does not work erase the hopes and move forward , the sorrow of love does not kill you moreover can not negatively influence you unless you idolize it.

  2. hello, me and my ex were dating for a year and 5 months. and we broke up about 3 months we had a good relationship yes we did fight and argue but we’d always get through it without a doubt. she has anxiety and depression and I tried to understand and support her with everything I had. last summer I supported her through heart surgery. however, towards the end of our relationship, she started showing a lot of interest in her ex after I trusted her with the situation. in the relationship I did get somewhat insecure but got over it. one weekend she just turned on me after having a breakdown and after giving her a week break to focus on herself. but she wouldn’t let me leave and said she loves me and we can get through it together. but I said we need to do something I’m still here if she needs me it’s just a week so she can have a breather. but then the next day just blew up on me and we broke up. I was really hurt and removed all the pictures and everything of social media which I fastly apologized for. we met that night to talk and she said she thought it was for the best and I supported her through her decision even though I didn’t want to. however, she messaged her ex 2 weeks after we broke up and I reacted badly to it because after the last month of our relationship she was showing a lot of interest but told me it was nothing. I did trust her until this. I reacted badly and said some stuff and got blocked on social media apart from Snapchat and my second insta account. we both apologied and she said she regretted messaging him but then about 2 weeks later she started hanging out with him and lied about it. and i got really mad and blocked on everything its been about a month since i messaged her since the block.

    and ive been in no contact for over 2 months now and still no sign or word from her. i’m still blocked on everything even though im getting over worrying about the ex because i know im better and my relationship was better with her but i dont think no contact is working. any advice?

  3. My ex broke up with me 3 days ago after dating for 6 months. He said I wasn’t the girl for him and that he wasn’t the guy for me. It happened completely out of nowhere especially because he was coming to visit me to stay the weekend. He called me baby and even called me like usual that same day. I feel like ive been blindsided and its not fair how he had time to process this, and I just had a bomb explode on me and was left alone. I met his entire family and friends and felt like it was a serious relationship.

    I am now trying the no contact rule but I dont know how long I should wait. Should I message him after a month? Should I just wait for him to message me if he does?
    Also, its my birthday in 2 weeks so I am wondering if he will even wish me a happy birthday.
    What do I do?

    1. I would highly recommend to stay strong and not contact him whatsoever. I made the ig mistake of pushing my ex girlfriend too much so she ended up blocking me that’s when I realized I should have just given her space and focus on myself. As should you. Focus on your health, your friends or your job for instance, take walks in the park hang out with friends and talk talk talk about it, even if they have to hear the same story one hundred times.

    2. I’m sorry to hear that. You have to discover if he liked you in the beginning for something long term. You have to come to learn whether he was serious in the beginning or just playing around with you. If he was, then there may be hope, there may not be, but if he wasn’t, then there’s no hope. But don’t judge. Don’t assume. Don’t ever just assume. Take all the time you need to discover.

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