The Power Of Silence After Being Dumped

Silence after the breakup is powerful and extremely important as it leaves your ex alone and allows you to focus on yourself. It makes you and your ex see that you don’t need a relationship to be satisfied and that you’ve got what it takes to cope with the breakup and do the things that make you happy.

Of all the words in the vocabulary, silence is the most powerful one as it depicts a lack of interest in your ex and a lot of interest in yourself. Silence enables you to take care of yourself and makes you look confident, resilient, and attractive at the same time.

The lack of silence, on the other hand, proves that you depend on your ex for recognition and that you’re not ready to be single. You still need your ex to love you so you can feel somewhat in control.

Although it’s perfectly normal to be broken-hearted after the breakup, it’s not okay to let your ex know that. If your ex is like most dumpers (impatient and unsympathetic), your ex will feel guilt-tripped and pressured—and might hurt you instead of help you.

That will make you feel completely abandoned and could push back your healing.

So if you recently got dumped, put your faith in the power of silence after the breakup. Trust that staying silent is the best course of action for the breakup as it will give your ex the space he or she asked for and allow your ex to do whatever he or she wants.

If your ex wants to date other people, your ex should be allowed to do so. Your ex is no longer committed to you, so technically, your ex can do whatever he or she wants with whoever he or she wants. You don’t get a say in your ex’s life.

You get a say in yours. And you need to do that by implementing a long period of silence. Fortunately, the easiest way to do that is to learn more about the rules of no contact and the effects these rules have on your ex.

Once you understand their conditions and benefits, you should start following the rule called the indefinite no contact rule and let the real healing begin. Real healing requires you to stop interacting with your ex and stay away from your ex for as long as it takes (even if it’s forever).

It may not be easy to start no contact when you’re used to speaking with your ex. But what’s even harder is staying in no contact That’s because difficult days can weigh you down emotionally and make you contact your ex for closure and a boost of self-esteem.

Keep in mind that things won’t get better in a matter of days.

The power of silence after the breakup will take time to improve your happiness and self-esteem. It will also take time to affect your ex in ways that you’re hoping it would.

You probably want your ex to miss you and communicate about the relationship as soon as possible.

But whether your wish comes true isn’t just a matter of silence and time. It’s also a matter of how good the relationship was, how your ex sees you now and later, and what kind of trouble your ex gets himself or herself into.

If your ex gets involved with a narc and that person abuses your ex emotionally and physically, your ex will have a much higher chance of missing you and wanting to speak with you than if your ex just scrolls through Facebook all day, every day.

Your ex’s ability to reflect and process negative opinions is also important, of course. But the most important thing of all is how smoothly things go for your ex after the breakup.

That’s why you must preserve your worth and let the power of silence after being dumped do what it does best – leave your ex alone to experience the good and the bad aspects of life and reach out when he or she has a reason to reach out.

In this post, we talk about the power of silence after being dumped.

Why is silence so powerful after a breakup?

Silence is what you and your ex both need after the breakup to disassociate from each other. It’s what you need to regain your identities and see things a bit differently than you do right now.

Since your ex dumped you, you’re probably highly emotional and could use some rationality. You could use the power of silence to disconnect from your ex and see the negative aspects of the relationship on top of the positive ones.

As for your ex, your ex has already detached, so your ex isn’t hopeful or anxious. Your ex needs silence from you to explore the world, encounter problems, and get hurt and emotional (much like you).

That’s when your ex will finally be on the same page as you and may breadcrumb you or ask you to get back together.

You might not care about your ex when that happens because some exes contact the person they dumped years or decades later, but know that it’s a possibility.

Some dumpees are afraid that silence will make them completely lose interest in their ex, but they shouldn’t worry about that. If they lose interest, love, and expectations, that’s a good thing because they can stop hurting and finally focus entirely on themselves.

Besides, they can always fall back in love with their ex later – when their ex expresses a desire to want them back. But until then, having one-sided feelings for their ex is a hindrance as it makes them anxious and depressed.

The reason why the power of silence after being dumped works so well is that it creates distance naturally. It peacefully and willingly gives your ex enough space and time to breathe and think, which in turn, enables your ex to cool off a bit and see that you aren’t solely responsible for the breakup.

Your ex contributed to it as well.

So if you’re a bit skeptical about cutting your ex off and you’re still contemplating whether the power of no contact after a breakup even works, know that no contact will without a doubt patch your wounds and improve your self-esteem.

It’s not a matter of if but when.

As for silence working on your ex in terms of reattracting your ex, that’s not something I or anyone else can predict. For no contact to hit your ex in the right places, your ex has to be capable of reflecting, forgiving, growing, and communicating like a mature, healthy, and self-aware person.

If your ex isn’t developed enough to let go of the problems from the past and want to be with you, nothing will have a positive effect on your ex because your ex isn’t ready to change his or her opinion of you. Your ex would rather hold on to old perceptions and extort power from them.

Power gives your ex control and allows your ex to focus on the present and the future.

The good thing about no contact is that the longer you go without speaking, the less dependent you’ll be on your ex and the more curious your ex will be about you. If your ex gets very curious, your ex might even decide to check up on you.

I’m not saying that’s a good thing because it will empower you with hope, but it will prove that silence affects your ex in mysterious and indirect ways.

It essentially tells your ex that you’re minding your own business and that you’re moving on without your ex. That’s the strongest message you can send to an ex who stopped seeing a future with you and dumped you.

If silence doesn’t make your ex see your worth, think about you, miss you, and come back, nothing else will. Nothing will impress your ex because the opposite of silence (staying in contact) will pressure your ex and force your ex to react negatively.

So for now, forget about your ex and think about yourself. Do it out of respect for yourself so that you can heal and figure out if your ex is even the right person for you.

Here is what the power of silence after being dumped does.

Won’t silence just ignore the problems in the relationship?

While it’s true that silence alone won’t fix relationship problems between you and your ex, you have to remember that there is no more relationship to work on. No one is waiting for you to propose ideas and solutions that would fix your problems as well as your ex’s.

Now that the relationship is over, your ex doesn’t want you to fix anything. Your ex wants things to stay as they are and not worry about matters of the past. The problems you and your ex faced are no longer relevant to your ex.

If you try to make them relevant, your ex will sense your desperation a mile away and keep you far away.

So although silence won’t fix the problems in the relationship, the good thing about it is that it won’t make them worse either. It will keep them as they are and encourage your ex not to think about them.

Fixing the problems happens much later when the dumper feels like fixing things.

And the dumper usually feels like fixing things when he or she has no choice but to fix them. This normally happens when the dumper is sad, anxious, and down on luck because negative thoughts and feelings motivate people to grow the most.

Dumpers simply don’t come back unless they feel like they don’t have a choice.

Now that you know your ex will only grow if he or she needs to, don’t think that your ex will wake up one day and suddenly feel like being a better person. Since your ex is the dumper, it’s much more feasible that your ex will continue to focus on self-distraction and try to avoid responsibility and hard work as much as possible.

Most dumpers do that because they badly wish to disconnect from the past.

Is silence always the best solution after a breakup?

Silence after the breakup is always the right solution. The only exception is when your ex specifically tells you that he or she wants to see if you’re going to stop/start doing something and be responsible, caring, or different/better.

When an ex gives you a chance to showcase effort and change is when you need to lower your ego and pride and do what you can to grow in ways you needed to grow a long time ago. You’ll be thankful to your ex once you make those changes.

But if your ex is completely unreceptive and didn’t tell you it’s your last chance to make things right, then silence (no contact) is the only thing left for you to do.

Your ex has already lost feelings and detached, so you won’t be able to reignite your ex’s love for you by forcing yourself into your ex’s life.

Is silence the best revenge after a breakup?

Silence isn’t meant to be used as a form of revenge. If you just focus on yourself, you won’t hurt your ex at all. You’ll do your ex a favor because your ex needs space just like you – only for different reasons.

But if your ex reaches out and you ignore your ex, then you’ll show you’re bitter and unwilling to communicate due to the unhealthy thoughts and emotions cruising through your brain.

You should never use silence to punish your ex. If you remain silent when an ex reaches out, you’ll show you lack respect for your ex (as well as yourself) and that you’re not worth your ex’s time.

Although this kind of silence might make an immature person anxious, it won’t impress an experienced ex who values respectful behavior.

It will probably just make him or her feel that dumping you was the right thing to do.

So whatever you do, don’t ignore exes when they just reach out to say hello. Their messages may be inconsiderate of your feelings, but that’s why you need to tell them that you don’t want to communicate.

Most of them will understand where you’re coming from and leave you alone right away. Only young, immature, or people with no breakup experience will insist on staying in touch.

What do you think about the power of silence after being dumped? Do you consider silence a tool to get over your ex/make your ex miss you or do you see it as a weapon to hurt your ex? Let us know below the post.

And if you’re not sure what to do regarding your ex and want our opinion on it, subscribe to our 1-on-1 coaching.