How To Make My Ex Think About Me Constantly?

Sadly, there’s no healthy way to make your ex think about you constantly. You can only make your ex think about you by bothering your ex with texts and calls, guilt-tripping your ex, taking revenge, commenting on your ex’s social media, and playing mind games with your ex.

But as you may know, such approaches won’t make your ex think about you in ways you want your ex to think about you. They’ll only make your ex see that leaving you was the right thing to do and that he or she can safely move on and be with other people.

So instead of trying to make your ex think about you constantly by force, make your ex think about you occasionally and only when he or she wants to think about you. Your ex will think much more positively and feel much better emotions if you don’t force your ex to think about you.

You must remember that your ex is the dumper and that your ex left because he or she didn’t want to ruminate about you. Thinking about you (especially about your wants and needs) suffocated your ex and made him or her believe that conversing with you, planning things with you, and investing in the relationship was exhausting and difficult.

That’s why now that the breakup happened, your ex mustn’t feel that way anymore. He or she mustn’t be pressured and forced to think about you.

On the contrary, your ex must avoid thinking about you for a while so your ex can deal with overwhelm/negative breakup emotions and process the breakup.

Once your ex has processed it and had his or her fun, your ex will think about you as much as he or she wants to think about you. I can’t say how much and how often your ex will think about you because every dumper’s different, but the way in which your ex will think about you will depend on various things.

Such as:

• how respectful and confident you are
• whether your ex reflects and what your ex realizes
• how your ex perceives you
• and what’s happening to your ex

For example, if your ex is having a lot of problems in his or her new relationship and wants to feel understood and cared for, your ex could become nostalgic and think about you a lot. Your ex could remember that you used to get along and wonder about whether he or she has made the right decision.

For that to happen though, life would need to get pretty bad for your ex. Something or someone (usually someone) would need to hurt your ex and make your ex despise the presence and crave the past.

A new romantic partner could do that as he or she could disappoint your ex and trigger your ex’s desire for comfort and safety.

That means you mustn’t interfere with your ex’s recovery and thinking process. You must instead let your ex be free so your ex can reach conclusions on his or her own. That’s the best and the only way for your ex to think about you constantly and in positive ways.

You don’t want your ex to remember your neediness, desperation, anger, and jealousy. You don’t want your ex to think you’re out of control. What you want is to make a good impression on your ex so your ex can think about your good traits rather than the bad.

You can do that not by acting on anxiety and desperation, but by accepting the breakup and letting go of control. If you let go of control and back off, your ex will see that you understand his or her feelings and respect yourself.

That may not reattract your ex right away, but it will make you into someone your ex could return to if things don’t go according to plan. I know you don’t want to be your ex’s backup plan, but don’t think of yourself as just one of many options.

When an ex comes back, you could be the dumper’s one and only option. That depends on whether your ex has realized your worth or come back just to heal/use you and move on to someone else. 

In today’s article, we shed some light on how to use the power of no contact to make your ex think about you constantly. 

Why can’t you make your ex think about you constantly by force?

We’ve already established that there’s no secret technique that can make your ex think about you constantly. Such a technique doesn’t exist because no matter what you say or do, your ex doesn’t want to think about you.

He or she broke up with you to stop thinking and worrying about you. Your behavior and presence pushed your ex into a corner, so your ex needs a time-out.

Your ex needs weeks if not months of time to enjoy the space and freedom he or she broke up with you for. You must let your ex be free and allow your ex to self-prioritize otherwise you won’t make your ex think about you constantly.

At least not in a nice way because you’ll make your ex resent you and want nothing to do with you.

If you pester your ex with questions and demands, you’ll show how unhappy and insecure you are and push your ex away. You’ll make your ex lose respect for you and see that your ex doesn’t care about you or your feelings.

That will ruin any chance of making amends and cause even more distress to your worried heart.

You must remember that dumpers lose feelings and associate love-preventing beliefs with their exes. They transform them into people who waste their energy and time and make it extremely difficult for themselves to redevelop feelings.

Reconciling with an ex-partner is not the same as starting a new relationship because people who ended the relationship can’t easily rekindle the same level of love they had in the beginning.

Since they already know their ex and believe their ex can’t make them happy, something must first get rid of this conviction. Something that has nothing to do with their ex.

This can be a failed romantic relationship, issues in the family, health issues, or anything that makes them reflect, disassociate stress from their ex, and make them crave their ex’s affection.

The more difficult the problem, the bigger the chance that dumpers will want help and validation. And who better to get validation from than an ex they already know intimately? Their ex respects them and craves them, so they can instantly get help and avoid suffering alone.

All they need to do is reconcile with their ex and rely on him or her for safety, comfort, and convenience.

The reason I’m telling you this is so you understand that you can’t make your ex think about you constantly and make him or her want to be with you on your terms. Your ex doesn’t care about your wants, needs, expectations, and problems anymore.

He or she stopped caring about them a long time ago and wants to be left alone.

Alone time will make your ex think about you way more and in better ways than constant communication and unnecessary/smothering reminders of you.

So no matter how badly you want your ex to think about you, remember that your ex isn’t you. Your ex isn’t the one who got dumped and didn’t get his or her self-esteem crushed. Your ex is a dumper who’s tired of the relationship and feels in control of the breakup.

You must let your ex be in control until your ex fails, gets hurt, and wants you back. When life gives your ex lemons and forces him or her to grow, your ex will willingly give you power back and put you in charge of reconciliation.

Things will flow easily and naturally as your ex will be ready to invest in you, himself/herself, and the relationship.

All you’ll have to do is guide your ex and make sure he or she is evolving and regaining your trust.

In the meantime, steer clear of unrealistic breakup advice and give up on trying to make your ex think about you constantly.

Although your ex already thinks about you from time to time, your ex won’t get obsessed with you if you take the initiative. This is because your ex is emotionally exhausted from prolonging the breakup and needs to go through the dumper stages of a breakup before he or she can put himself or herself in a risky situation.

Since you don’t know when or if your ex will feel respected and want to think about you, the best thing you can do is distance yourself from your ex and think about detaching from your ex.

Detachment will help you see things more clearly and might even help you realize that it’s self-degrading to try to make your ex think about you.

Your ex should think about you without your help. If your ex doesn’t, you shouldn’t force your way back into your ex’s life. You should focus on healing and let absence do its work.

Absence might or might not make your ex miss you. It could go either way, depending on your ex’s coping mechanisms and the predicaments he or she encounters.

If you don’t want to lose too much hope at once and destroy your chances of reconciliation, I encourage you to give up on making your ex think about you constantly.

Give up on:

• guilt-tripping, playing jealousy games, and manipulating your ex
• talking to your ex (especially about your emotions and things you want your ex to do)
• falling prey to love doctors on the internet and fake breakup coaches
• asking your friends to talk some sense into your ex
• influencing or scaring your ex into being with you

Always remember that your ex will think about you when your ex wants to think about you or when he or she needs to.

Your ex will want to think about you when something reminds your ex of you or when he or she is bored. And your ex will need to think about you when he or she is anxious, lonely, unhappy, nostalgic, and depressed. 

Don’t assume you can make your ex crazy about you with your craziness. Your obsession will only annoy and repulse your ex and make your ex run for the hills.

With that said, here’s how to make your ex think about you.

1)Go no contact

The most important thing you can do for yourself and your ex is to cut your ex off. Distance yourself from your ex and prove you don’t need your ex as much as your ex may think. Your ex needs to see that you respect yourself and his/her feelings and decisions and that you won’t do anything desperate.

Desperate things include behaviors that suffocate, annoy, and anger your ex and go against your ex’s wishes and needs.

No contact will help you with that. It won’t instantaneously make your ex regret dumping you and force your ex to come running, but it will prevent your ex from finding additional reasons to think poorly of you.

In essence, no contact will retain your worth and let your ex drink and party if he or she wants to. 

You must let go of control and stop communicating with your ex so your ex can have fun at first and get curious after a while (after he or she has processed things).

Most dumpers develop curiosity when their ex leaves them alone. They may not want their ex back, but because they don’t hear a peep from their ex, they ponder about their ex and wonder if their ex is happy and has met someone new.

If they get very curious or feel bad for hurting their ex, they often reach out and breadcrumb their ex. They end up confusing their ex and making healing extremely difficult for their ex.  

I don’t want your ex to mess with your brain and string you along but know that it could happen if you go no contact and make your ex curious about you. That’s something you’ll deal with later. Right now, you have more important things to do. You have to start no contact and create some emotional distance.

Distance won’t just help your ex think about you more but it will also help you detach from your ex and obsess less about your ex. 

Why does no contact have the opposite effect on your ex compared to you?

It’s because your ex is starting on the opposite end of the breakup. Your ex is relieved while you’re anxious/depressed and will eventually stop feeling relieved. When he or she does, your ex may question his or her morality, happiness, choices, and your importance in his or her life.

You need to stay away so your ex can think about these things and figure out if leaving you was the right thing to do.

When it comes to making your ex think about you, your absence is your greatest tool. Utilize it by not communicating with your ex or communicating only about essential things such as work, kids, mortgage, etc. 

2)Improve yourself and your life

Look, going to the gym and getting a six-pack won’t make your ex go crazy over you and want you back. Physical improvements can’t do that because even if your ex is the most superficial person on the planet, your ex still associates negative thoughts and feelings with your image.

Your ex doesn’t want to get rid of these associations just because they’re extreme and unhealthy.

Your ex wants to hold on to them because they give him or her a sense of power and control. The only way your ex will think better of you is if your ex discovers your worth on his or her own (probably because of some kind of failure).

That doesn’t mean you should wait and do nothing with your life. This is the perfect time for you to invest in yourself and areas of your life that you’re not happy with. If your social life isn’t great or if you argue with people and impulsively react to situations, sign up for therapy and journal your emotions.

You need to improve your shortcomings otherwise your ex won’t stay with you for long even if he or she comes back.

Make sure to become content with yourself again. Happiness and confidence are extremely attractive traits. They played a huge role in attracting your ex the first time. This time, they’re just as important as they could make your ex desire you when things go south.

Don’t forget that your ex needs to see that he or she can benefit from you and be happy with you. If your ex sees you’re not happy, why would your ex want you back? You’d just overwhelm your ex with problems and expectations and make your ex more miserable.

So if you want to make your ex think about you constantly, do that by becoming happy and piquing your ex’s interest. Don’t play any mind games. Just stay in no contact and let no contact speak for you. If you want, you can also post your improvements on social media from time to time.

Just don’t pretend to be happier than ever as your ex will see right through you.

Instead, show that you’re busy and that you’re not obsessing over your ex. Always remember that your ex will need you to be an improved individual if you get back together and that you’ll need to be strong, confident, and detached before you get back together.

This is important otherwise your ex could look elsewhere for help or leave you when you bring up your problems and project insecurities.

3)Wait for your ex to initiate the conversation

To make your ex think about you and miss you, you need to wait for the circumstances to change.

Most of no contact consists of passively waiting for your ex to process the separation and reach out. When your ex finally contacts you, you can then stand up for yourself and demonstrate you’re not going to settle for friendship or anything other than a romantic relationship.

This is necessary so your ex doesn’t think you’re desperately waiting for reconciliation and that you’re okay with talking as friends or friends with benefits.

To stop your ex from breadcrumbing you and giving you hope, figure out why your ex is reaching out. Ask your ex why he or she contacted you all of a sudden and wait for your ex to respond.

If your ex says that he/she wants you back, you can begin the reconciliation process (point out your concerns, express your requests, and give ultimatums).

But if your ex is just checking up on you and/or trying to appease guilt, tell your ex you’re not ready to talk and that you want him or her not to message you unless there’s an emergency that concerns you. 

This will convey the message that you value yourself and that you won’t become your ex’s texting buddy.

The only time you should take your ex seriously is when your ex is certain he or she wants you back. And your ex will be certain when pain, regret, nostalgia, and fear of losing you hit your ex hard. That’s when your ex will message or call you and try to get back together as quickly as possible.

Keep in mind that slow reconciliations don’t happen very often. In fact, they almost never do. Most of the time, dumpers come running back faster than greased lightning.

They’re in a hurry to reconcile because they got in a pickle and realized their ex’s importance. They know they’ve made a mistake, so they try to secure their spot in a relationship with their ex as fast as possible.

Doing so helps them stop hurting.

4)Show you’re moving on

The last tip on how to make your ex think about you constantly or at least as often as possible is to get busy and show you’re enjoying your life and moving on. Your ex needs to realize that you’re having a good time without him/her and wonder what’s keeping you busy and entertained.

Your ex can either see or think that you’re:

• excelling at work
• engaging in new hobbies
• learning new skills
• progressing in life
• volunteering for a cause
• meeting new people
• dating other people

Whatever you do, don’t start dating people just to make your ex jealous. Your ex won’t take the bait because your ex has detached and will just see that you’re desperate for love and that you’re trying to patch your wounds.

You should date people only when you’re over your ex and ready to date. That’s when you can start a new relationship and show you’ve moved on.

At some point, your ex will probably check up on you on social media or hear about your changes, improvements, and happiness from friends and family. When he or she does, your ex will start thinking about you more than before and perhaps even reach out and try to figure out why you’re doing so well without him or her.

You need to move on so your ex feels safe, comfortable, and envious of your happiness and success.

Did you learn how to make your ex think about you constantly? Do you have any tips to add? Share them in the comments section below the post.

And if you want to talk about your breakup privately with us, visit our coaching page to learn more about our coaching services.

Zan

My name is Zan and I’m the founder of Magnet of Success. I enjoy writing realistic relationship and breakup articles and helping readers heal and grow. With more than 5 years of experience in the self-improvement, relationship, and breakup sphere, my goal is to provide advice that fosters positivity and success and avoids preventable mistakes and pain. Buy me a coffee, learn more about me, or get in touch today.