Getting your baby daddy back when he has a girlfriend is a complicated and long procedure. Not only must you adhere to the rules of no contact, but you must also cooperate with your baby daddy about your child/children and present yourself as a responsible, confident, and mature individual.
You must stay out of your ex’s private life and communicate with him only about the kids. Any other communication is prohibited as he has a new girlfriend and needs his space. If you try to get him back by force, you’re most likely going to irritate him and disrespect his girlfriend.
And that won’t make you look good. It will make you into an obsessed ex-girlfriend who needs a guy to take care of her and her children.
So before you even try to get your baby daddy back from another person, learn more about breakups and the things your ex needs to be happy. Understanding breakup dynamics and reaching your ex’s expectations is important. But so is protecting your worth as a person.
If you beg and plead and call your ex’s girlfriend to tell her to back off you won’t preserve your worth. All you’ll do is show that you lack self-control and that the relationship is the only thing in your life that matters to you.
No guy wants to feel your desperation and see that you’re only thinking about getting back together with him. That’s because knowing you want a relationship kills attraction and the necessity to get back together. It pushes your ex further away and makes the reconciliation much more difficult than it already is.
So remember that getting a baby daddy back when he has a girlfriend won’t happen through coercion and persistence. It won’t happen when you want it to but rather when your ex wants it to happen. And your ex will want it to happen when he breaks up with his girlfriend and realizes your worth (not necessarily in that order).
Guys remember their exes’ worth when they ponder about their unpleasant experiences with other people and want a healthy relationship to replace those experiences. That’s when they reach out and try to get back with their exes.
This means that dumpers come back on their own. They don’t need nor want dumpees to remind them they’re still around because they’re regretful and want to fix what they broke.
This article is for women who want their baby daddy back when their ex has a girlfriend. We’ll talk about ways to boost your importance and discuss how to make a guy come running back to you.
How to get my baby daddy back when he has a girlfriend?
If you want to get your baby daddy back, don’t worry about the guy and his new girlfriend for now. Worrying about them is an unnecessary stressor and an inconvenience. Now is the time to leave them alone and preserve your value as his ex-girlfriend.
Towards the end of your relationship, your ex had detached from you and forgot about your good qualities. He focused mainly on the bad ones and transformed you into a person who didn’t make him happy.
This is something you can’t change directly – by staying in your ex’s life. You especially can’t change it now that he’s interested in someone else and doesn’t care much about you.
But what you can do is make sure your ex doesn’t:
- find additional reasons to see you the way he does.
- find new reasons to feel disrespected by you and in turn, lose respect for you.
You can retain your worth as a person and his ex by letting him know you accept the breakup and respect his decision. Start by going no contact right away (if you haven’t yet) and stay in no contact indefinitely. You can’t reach out to your ex to communicate about unimportant things ex-partners no longer care about.
Don’t reach out if you miss your ex and feel jealous. If your ex isn’t reaching out, that will likely smother and make your ex want to talk to you even less. And if his girlfriend sees that you’re reaching out, she could also argue with him about it and make him resent you.
New partners can affect the way people feel about their exes.
So reach out only if you need to get your stuff back, want to finalize the divorce, or share custody with your ex.
Your kids come first as their welfare is more important than your breakup and/or any conflicts you may have with your ex. Just make sure to do a special no contact rule with kids involved so that your ex has space but also a chance to take responsibility for his kids and be the father his kids need him to be.
If you live together with your ex, however, then you’ll also have to implement a no contact rule while living together with your ex. Don’t get frightened by all these rules. The rules are actually quite straightforward. All you have to do is greet your ex when you see him (be friendly) and avoid physical contact, asking for attention, questioning your ex, showing you’re upset, and playing jealousy games.
Refusing to implement these rules will likely lead to annoyance or resentment and make your ex associate even more unpleasant emotions with you. It will make your ex feel that breaking up with you was the right thing to do and that you won’t change and give him the kind of life he wants no matter how much time goes by.
So say hi to your ex when you run into him and when you need to talk about kids and some kind of unfinished business. But when your ex is in the kitchen or out with his girlfriend, let him do what he wants. Let him have fun while you focus on healing from rejection and distract yourself.
As a dumpee, you need to know your capabilities. You need to understand that you can’t get your baby daddy back on your terms by staying his friend. The only thing you can do is to exude confidence and wait for your ex to discern your worth and not want to be with his girlfriend anymore.
When that happens, your ex will reach out to you first and do all the work. You won’t even have to lift a finger because he’ll know that losing you was the biggest mistake of his life and that he needs to work hard to earn your trust back.
I’m not saying your baby daddy will come back for sure. But if you leave him and his girlfriend alone and live a joyful life, chances are that something will go wrong in his relationship and that he’ll return to you when he sees you’ve got your life under control and he doesn’t.
So don’t worry about getting your baby daddy back when he has a girlfriend. If something goes wrong and he’s in severe pain, he could notice your improvements and see you don’t need him to be happy. This could then make him crave your happiness and validation and make him interested in you.
But if nothing of extreme importance goes wrong and he doesn’t remember you and think about you, then he likely won’t come back. Dumpers don’t return unless they have a reason to return. And their reason, unfortunately, is usually stimulated by pain.
That’s because pain causes dumpers to reflect and enables them to develop feelings for their exes.
Because you can’t foresee the future, you need to do what’s best for you and your children. You need to get over the breakup, improve your shortcomings, boost your self-esteem, and get used to a life without your ex. That’s the only way you’ll be happy regardless of whether your baby daddy comes back.
So don’t spend your days obsessing over your ex and analyzing his relationship. Staying hooked on your ex won’t give you an advantage in getting back with your ex. It will just hinder your growth and delay the time it takes to get over the breakup and fall back in love with yourself.
If you want the best for yourself, you must forget about your ex and be happy for now. Focus on your children and the people who love you. They are the ones who want to stay with you and who can actually contribute to your life.
Your ex can’t help you because he’s in a relationship with someone else.
I know you want your baby daddy back as soon as possible and that you’re in pain, but try not to make your pain the reason you want your ex back. You need to see the bigger picture which is that an ex who doesn’t want you doesn’t deserve you.
It doesn’t matter how many kids you have with him. As long as he’s more interested in himself and his new girlfriend than he is in you, he’s of no use to you. He’s actually a hindrance because his lack of care and affection is hurting you and making you crave him more.
Here are some things you need to remember if you want to know how to get your baby daddy back when he has a girlfriend.
Show him you don’t need him
Some dumpees are afraid of moving on because they think they won’t want their ex back later and that their ex won’t want them back. If you’re worried about these things, you need to know that you’re worrying over nothing.
If you’re happy with another guy, there’s no reason to be unhappy.
Right now, you can’t imagine being with another person, but it won’t stay that way forever. When you detach, you’ll be happy because you won’t need your ex for recognition and self-love. You’ll be happy on your own or perhaps even with someone else.
As for your ex not wanting you back just because you’re happy, that’s extremely unlikely. Dumpers don’t stay away from their exes just because their exes are happy and no longer rely on them emotionally. If anything, they find them more attractive because they sense they aren’t desired and that their ex has found happiness without them.
So don’t put your life on hold and stop yourself from moving on with your life. Your ex may be your baby’s daddy, but that doesn’t mean he’s the only person who will love you and your child. There are plenty of mature guys out there who will be more than happy to accept your children and love you for the person you are.
You just need to regain your emotional independence and you’ll see that your ex doesn’t deserve you. He’s not your ideal partner. At least not until he’s learned his lessons and improved his perception of you.
It’s okay to feel attracted to your ex. It’s also okay to think he’s a good father and a decent person. But you mustn’t think your ex is the only person in this world because that will force you to develop a scarce mentality and prevent you from taking your eyes off your ex.
Don’t check up on your baby daddy
Whatever your ex is doing now that you’re exes is not your concern anymore. Your ex is going to try to start fresh with his new girlfriend and appear to have a good time no matter what you want or don’t want. So don’t check up on him. You probably really want to because you’re in immense pain, but this is something you can’t do.
Stalking your ex and asking people to tell you about your ex is probably one of the worst things you can do to yourself. Especially if the breakup occurred recently because that would mean you’re not ready to find things that destroy your hope for reconciliation.
You’re still healing from the rejection and the discovery that your ex is dating someone else already.
I know it’s hard not to be with the person you saw yourself with long-term, but do your best to be strong and not to analyze your ex’s social media behavior. Your ex won’t post anything you need to know on there, but might instead post pictures of his new girlfriend and hurt you.
If you can’t stop checking up on your ex online, I suggest that you unfollow your ex. And if that doesn’t help, consider logging off for a while, deleting your profile, or deleting your ex. Do whatever it takes to prevent your ex from playing with your mind and feelings.
The sooner you make it impossible for your baby daddy to get in your head, the fewer breakup mistakes you’ll make and the quicker you’ll recover. So get rid of your ex completely and you’ll soon become passionate about life again and capable of reattracting your baby daddy back.
I hope you’ve learned how to get your baby daddy back when he has a girlfriend. if you have any questions or stories to share, post them in the comments section below.
And if you want to talk to us about it privately, check out our coaching options here.
My name is Zan and I’m the founder of Magnet of Success. I enjoy writing realistic relationship and breakup articles and helping readers heal and grow. With more than 5 years of experience in the self-improvement, relationship, and breakup sphere, my goal is to provide advice that fosters positivity and success and avoids preventable mistakes and pain. Buy me a coffee, learn more about me, or get in touch today.
You helped Zan to understand breakup dynamics, but also to protect my worth as a person, and that’s all.
Forever grateful for your help
I’m glad I was able to help, Linda.
Sincerely,
Zan