My Ex Got Into A New Relationship Fast

Exes tend not to wait when it comes to dating after the breakup. Most of them jump into another relationship as soon as they find someone else to date. They see the new person as an opportunity to distract themselves from the breakup drama and a chance to be happy again.

The relationship with their ex suffocated them and made them unhappy, so they say yes to anything and anyone that validates them. They immediately connect with people who make them feel good. Coincidentally, new people empower them a lot. They give them the kind of attention and comfort they craved throughout the relationship.

That’s why dumpers make a quick transition from a single life to a life with someone else. A quick switch gives them reassurance and hope that they can still find someone who likes them and completes them.

Sometimes dumpers find another person to be with by chance and feel tempted to be with him or her. Other times, however, they sign up for dating apps such as Tinder and try to find a replacement for their ex – someone who makes them feel good and doesn’t have their ex’s negative traits.

Whether they intentionally look for someone to date, unintentionally meet someone, or already know someone who likes them and go with that person, they decide to give that person a try because he or she is their quickest method for moving from loneliness and unhappiness to distraction and elation.

Bear in mind that your ex got into a new relationship fast not because the new relationship is better than yours but because the start of the relationship feels extremely good. It makes your ex go on cloud 9, erasing all his or her worries and uncertainties. The liberating end of the relationship with you combined with the exciting new relationship with someone else are two major changes that affect your ex a lot.

They give your ex a feeling of progressing in life and moving toward a desired goal. Because they’re two extremely important milestones in your ex’s life, your ex can’t help but think that his or her life is moving in the right direction and that he or she needed to leave you and connect with someone else.

Your ex hasn’t been this happy in a long time, if ever, so no one can convince your ex that leaving and finding someone else was a bad idea. If it was a bad idea, he or she wouldn’t feel so good and powerful.

Your ex would be sad, anxious, and depressed and would have difficulties moving on.

So if your ex got into a new relationship fast, remember that your ex moved on so quickly because he or she wanted to move on and was ready for it. Your ex emotionally disconnected from you a long time ago (probably while you were still together) and connected with someone else as soon as he or she got a chance to do so.

This new connection made it easier for your ex to shift his or her focus away from you because it validated, distracted, and met your ex’s desires and needs.

Don’t expect your dumper ex to miss you when he or she just got into a new relationship. That won’t happen unless the new person is abusive or emotionally incompatible with your ex. As much as you’d like to believe it’s a rebound, most dumpers don’t rebound with new people.

Conversely, they date them “normally” because they’ve moved on and made space in their hearts for new romantic connections.

Dumpees are typically the ones who rebound. They can’t emotionally let go of their ex, so they expect the new person to be their ex and make them feel like their ex. Because the new person can’t be who they want him or her to be (live up to their expectations), they soon become nostalgic, doubtful, and anxious and want their ex to love them again.

So if I can be completely honest, your ex is probably not in a rebound relationship or a relationship that will end just because it started quickly after the breakup. He or she is in a normal relationship and will need to go through the stages of a new relationship.

Once your ex has gotten to know the new person and stopped feeling infatuated, your ex will get a clearer picture of what his or her relationship is like and what it will look like in the future.

Until then, your ex will feel and look empowered and make decisions that don’t make much sense to you. You could notice your ex acting differently, taking an interest in (strange) new hobbies, spending time with (new) people, and doing things he or she previously disliked.

Your ex could appear unrecognizable and make you more anxious because of it.

If you feel like your ex is progressing in life and winning the breakup game (if there even is such a thing), remember that this version of your ex isn’t who your ex is and will be in the future. Your ex may feel empowered by the breakup and the new relationship, but this empowerment is only temporary.

Your ex will eventually revert to his or her old self and be the person he or she was when you were together. This will happen as soon as the novelty and love wear off. So don’t think that your ex is acting differently directly because of you and that your ex will stay this way forever.

Dumpers don’t learn much from breakups. They don’t get hurt, so naturally, they don’t reflect and grow either. They tend to stay as they are maturity/behavior-wise and carry their shortcomings into their next relationship.

In this article, we talk about the reasons your ex got into a new relationship fast. We also discuss what this means for you and your ex and what you should do about it whether you want your ex back or not.

Why did my ex get into a new relationship so fast?

Your ex got into a new relationship fast because the new relationship gave him or her relationship benefits and positive feelings. Your ex wanted to cut off the past and have a fresh start with someone new. Even though your ex was taking a risk, your ex wasn’t afraid of executing the dating plan. On the contrary, your ex looked forward to it and wanted to get the most out of life.

Your ex could have waited months before jumping into a new relationship, but your ex chose not to. Your ex listened to his or her emotions instead and quickly moved forward with someone else. Jumping into a new relationship allowed your ex to let go of the past (avoid feeling guilty) and feel validated.

The new relationship gave your ex a sense of direction and security and a person to spend time with. Your ex didn’t have to feel lonely, bored, and unloved and was able to feel valued right away.

In essence, your ex did what most people would have done – take the opportunity to get to know the new person and feel validated.

The easiest way for you to understand why your ex got into a new relationship fast is to put yourself in your ex’s shoes and ask yourself why you’d want to move on so fast after a breakup. What would motivate you to leave your dumpee ex behind and start anew with another person?

After some thinking, you’ll probably realize that you’d start dating again to distance yourself from pain, unhappiness, and discomfort from the past and embrace healthier and happier emotions. You’d want someone new by your side because a new person would make you hopeful about dating and help you see that leaving the relationship was necessary for your health and well-being.

He or she would indirectly convince you that you didn’t have to feel bad for abandoning a relationship and doing what was necessary to be happy again.

So bear in mind that your ex got into a new relationship to get rid of the unhappiness he or she associated with you. Not only did your ex want to forget the pain and discomfort, but your ex also wanted to replace it with love and other relationship emotions and benefits. The new relationship lets your ex disassociate from you and get what he or she wants out of life.

Your ex didn’t get into a new relationship fast because his or her relationship with you was terrible. If that was the only reason for breaking up, your ex would have left you and worked on internal happiness rather than jumping into a new relationship.

The reason your ex started dating (so quickly) is because your ex met a person he or she liked and wanted to be with romantically. Your ex developed feelings and cravings for validation and acted on his or her urges when he or she got close to the new person.

So don’t blame yourself for your ex’s words, decisions, actions, and inactions. What your ex says and does has nothing to do with what you were like as a partner. Your ex is merely acting on instincts and experiencing the infatuation stage of a new relationship.

If you think back to how you used to feel and act when you were starting with your ex (or someone else), you’ll remember that you were very excited and irrational too. You were obsessed with your partner and saw only the positive things in him or her. Positive perceptions and feelings made you feel so good you thought you’d found the perfect partner for you.

Your ex probably thinks and feels the same. He or she doesn’t see any flaws in the new person and doesn’t get bothered by any of his or her behaviors (yet). Your ex will start to get bothered when love hormones dissipate and force him or her to face reality.

I’m not saying reality will be bad, but it certainly won’t be as idealistic as it appears to be right now. From an outside (your) perspective, it probably looks like they’re a match made in heaven and that they’ll get married, but the truth is that they’ll have problems like any couple and that you won’t be aware of any of them.

You’ll only see the good things and the things they let you see.

This doesn’t mean they’re a perfect couple but that you lack insight into their relationship.

So don’t think they’re doing great just because they’re happy on social media and because they haven’t broken up after a couple of months of dating. Most couples don’t face any major disagreements until months later. They do fine until they get used to each other and reveal their true colors.

That’s when they learn how they deal with conflicting beliefs and difficult emotions.

Whether you want your ex back or not, you have to understand that your ex has been craving happiness and validation for a while and that your ex felt emotionally ready to start a new relationship. You probably expected your ex to miss you and think about you, but your ex isn’t you. He or she isn’t a dumpee who needs months to detach and get over you.

Your ex is ready to start a new serious relationship right away and invest in it wholeheartedly. That may not be easy to hear, but you have to come to terms with it. The quicker you accept that your ex isn’t in a rebound relationship, the quicker you’ll let go of your ex and rebuild your self-love.

When you understand that your ex got into a new relationship because he or she felt a strong desire for affection and a sense of progression, you’ll stop taking your ex’s dating choices personally and let your ex think, feel, and do what he or she wants.

With that said, here’s why your ex got into a new relationship so fast.

Whatever you do, don’t reach out to your ex or your ex’s new partner and ask them why they started dating so quickly. You can get all the answers you need without your ex. You just have to take yourself out of the equation and think about the feelings behind your ex’s decisions.

When you understand how your ex felt, how your ex wanted to feel, and how your ex didn’t want to feel, you’ll understand the motives behind your ex’s actions.

Why did my dumpee ex get into a new relationship fast?

If you left your ex and your ex got into a new relationship super fast, your ex most likely wanted the new person to ease his or her separation anxiety and pain. Your ex wanted to stop obsessing about you, dreaming about getting back together, and feeling left behind.

It’s highly likely that your ex’s new relationship is a rebound and that it won’t last very long. Most rebounds last between 3 – 8 weeks. They end when the relationship starts getting serious and demands energy and commitment. They can last longer too, but couples aren’t very happy.

Normally, they break up when the more invested person develops romantic expectations and pressures the rebounding partner to try harder.

So remember that your dumpee ex got into a new relationship fast because your ex wanted to replace you and feel ahead of you. He or she wanted to numb the pain and skip the healing phase altogether. Your ex didn’t understand or want to understand that healing takes time and that it’s impossible to get over an ex by getting under someone else.

To heal from heartbreak, the dumpee must go through the dumpee process and learn to accept the breakup, improve self-love, and let go.

What should you do when your ex gets into a new relationship fast?

When your ex starts dating right away, remember that your ex might have known this person for a while. It’s possible that your ex left you for this person or that your ex focused on your flaws and allowed himself or herself to detach.

Either way, you shouldn’t act on emotions and reach out to your ex. Don’t tell your ex that he or she cheated and betrayed you. Don’t blame your ex and show you feel insecure about his or her new partner either. Insecurities and criticism won’t make your ex regret leaving and getting into a new relationship super fast.

If anything, they’ll make your ex feel judged and irritated.

The more you pester your ex about your feelings and problems, the less your ex will like you, respect you, and care about you. In other words, if you bother your ex, your ex will get angry and force-stop you from doing what you’re doing. That will be bad for your health and recovery.

So don’t do anything you wouldn’t want your ex to do if the roles were reversed and you were in a new relationship with someone else.

This includes no:

• texting and calling (begging, reasoning, condemning)
• sending letters and gifts
• trying to make your ex jealous by dating someone else (your ex won’t care)
• posting sad or bitter things (looking for a reaction)
• stalking your ex in public

When you show that you haven’t healed yet and that you’re still interested in being with your ex, your ex will lose his or her remaining interest in you and stop seeing your worth. That’s when you’ll ruin or decrease your chances of getting back with your ex when or if your ex’s new relationship fails.

Always remember that your ex needs to break up or be on the verge of breaking up before he or she can consider you a viable backup plan. Your ex won’t choose you if you contact him or her and try to showcase your changes, improvements, and overall romantic value.

The only way your ex will want you back is if you leave him or her completely alone (go no contact) and retain your worth. You need to make sure your ex’s perception of you remains healthy so that your ex can respect you and consider getting back with you when the new relationship causes disappointment and pain.

I wish there was a magic recipe for getting back with an ex, but such a recipe doesn’t exist. There are merely guidelines for navigating a breakup, also known as the rules of no contact. These rules prohibit you from making breakup mistakes and prevent you from losing your ex’s respect and self-respect.

If you don’t respect and love yourself, it’s unlikely that your ex will respect you and love you out of pity. A romantic partner might, but an ex-partner who considers you high maintenance probably won’t. He or she will think you’re incapable of looking after yourself, let alone another person.

Hence, you need to make sure your ex doesn’t find any reasons to dislike you and disrespect you. Do that by following the indefinite no contact rule and moving forward.

Even if you don’t want your ex back, you should still do not contact. Respect their relationship and your healing because conversations (especially arguments) with your ex will hurt you and mess up your healing.

No matter how hard your ex’s rushing into a new relationship has hurt you, keep your distance from your ex and focus on yourself. Surround yourself with positive people, but don’t date anyone just yet. Put dating on hold until you’re over your ex. There will be plenty of time to connect with people in the future.

Did your ex get into a new relationship fast? Why do you think your ex was in such a hurry to start dating again? Let us know in the comments below.

However, if you’re looking for 1-on-1 help with your breakup, get in touch with us here.

Zan

My name is Zan and I’m the founder of Magnet of Success. I enjoy writing realistic relationship and breakup articles and helping readers heal and grow. With more than 5 years of experience in the self-improvement, relationship, and breakup sphere, my goal is to provide advice that fosters positivity and success and avoids preventable mistakes and pain. Buy me a coffee, learn more about me, or get in touch today.