Why Does My Ex Hate Me So Much? ?

Why does my ex hate me so much? What did I do to make my ex hate me? Did my ex ever even love me? Will my ex ever stop hating me?

These are just a few common questions broken-hearted dumpees concern themselves with.

Since they are hurt and disappointed, dumpees quickly come to the conclusion that it’s their fault the breakup occurred. And because dumpers display hatred toward them, they think they are responsible for that too.

Some dumpees sincerely believe that they deserve their ex’s bad behavior because they weren’t their best selves throughout the relationship. But this couldn’t be further from the truth.

Dumpers are the only ones responsible for the emotions they feel and the actions they take because of them. Dumpers just don’t realize this because it’s always easier to blame someone for the way they feel.

That’s why you should never embrace someone’s projection of anger, pain, or sadness. You would only become that person’s punching bag if you do.

So if you’re trying to figure out why your ex hates you so much and whether your ex will ever stop hating you, this article could soothe your anxiety.

Why does my ex hate me so much?

Your ex hates you so much because your ex had been bottling up negative emotions for days or months prior to the breakup.

This includes your ex’s old memories of your relationship, as well as the recent ones all mashed-up in one giant pot.

Since your ex’s anger didn’t have the time to cool off, it kept increasing over time until it eventually overflowed.

When it did, your relationship had finally come to an end and all the unexpressed emotions came rushing out toward the perpetrator (you).

Suddenly, your ex no longer needed to control his or her emotions and try to impress you. Your ex could instead just give in to his or her animalistic side and get back at you for everything you’ve ever done and not done.

Now that your ex is furious, his or her anger is, unfortunately, going to keep raging on for as long as your ex is latching onto the past for self-empowerment.

The easiest way for your ex to keep the anger alive is to think about the times when you messed and remember that he or she felt victimized. In this way, your ex intentionally reinforces his or her anger and projects it toward you even if you’re on your best behavior.

You must understand that since your ex is no longer in a vulnerable state, your ex will unquestionably fight for his or her rights. And you will regrettably be the one paying the price for it.

Ironically, dumpees feel and often act the exact same way when they get to the 3rd stage of a breakup – anger. Since this is a stage of power, dumpees unknowingly begin to rebel against their dumpers’ poor post-breakup treatment.

And that’s exactly how powerfully dumpers feel on the day of the breakup.

I don’t understand why my ex hates me

If your relationship was healthy and functional and you can’t figure out why your ex hates you, it’s probably got a lot less to do with you than you think.

Now that you’re no longer a couple, your ex probably has different goals and ambitions that don’t involve you.

One of them could be that your ex wants to leave the past behind so badly that he or she just wants to get rid of you as quickly as possible.

This often occurs when your ex starts dating someone else or when he or she monkey-branches from one person onto the next.

When that happens, it’s nearly impossible for your ex to give attention to two individuals—so your ex must quickly get rid of one to focus on the other.

In cases like this, it’s not your fault your ex hates you as you quite frankly have nothing to do with your ex’s anger.

As a matter of fact, you are never responsible for your ex’s emotional outbursts because we’re all in charge of our own thoughts, words, and actions.

But when your ex gets angry, mean, and nasty—you can be certain that your ex doesn’t want you around for the moment. Not until he or she has had the time to do whatever he or she wants with the new-found freedom.

So if you’re still wondering why your ex hates you so much, here’s a picture that could help you put the pieces together.

My ex hates me so much! What do I do?

It’s not unusual for your ex to hate you, swear at you, ignore you, block you, devalue you, and pretend you don’t exist.

These are acts of anger, impatience, and post-breakup power. So try to accept the fact that you won’t ever win if you try to tackle them head-on.

The most you can do to soothe an angry ex-partner is to leave your ex alone so that he or she can cool off.

You can do this by allowing the power of no contact to slowly but surely work on your ex without his or her awareness. It’s really the only way.

But if you try to reason with your ex whilst he or she is in a powerful state of anger, you will experience unimaginable resistance. Your emotionally depleted ex will retaliate in anger and worsen your already brittle mental state.

That’s why it’s probably in your best interest to adhere to the rules of no contact and prevent your ex from thinking about you.

I know your goal is quite the opposite, but as long as you are your ex’s reminder, your ex will never stop hating you. Not as long as you inadvertently remind your ex “how badly you treated” him or her.

My boyfriend/girlfriend hates me

If relationships consist of love and respect, then breakups are based on anger and hatred.

This transition between the two polar opposites doesn’t occur just because there’s a “thin line” separating love and hatred. This saying has been used and abused in pure ignorance for years—so allow me to explain what it really means when your ex hates you.

A person who loves you can get angry at you. But he or she certainly won’t hate your guts. Sure, there are times when couples don’t speak to each other and throw all sorts of tantrums in order to keep their ego in check.

But apart from getting annoyed and displeased with each other’s behavior, couples don’t reach the state of hatred.

Hatred is probably the second most toxic emotion right after disgust that a person can experience. So if your partner truly hates you, he or she wouldn’t be your partner.

At the very worst, your boyfriend or girlfriend, husband or wife would tag along for the social status or perhaps for the monetary and inheritance benefits. Whatever your partner’s motives could be, he or she would be in the relationship with you for everything but you.

This implies that a partner who hates you would likely refuse intimate moments such as sex and bonding and would prefer to be on his or her own most of the time.

The same logic applies to your ex

When your ex hates you he or she will avoid you like the plague at all times. Your ex will come up with 100 reasons why you’re the worst person on Earth and another 100 why he or she should never have dated you.

Your ex will show you through words (and even more often) through actions that reconciliation is never going to happen. And if you insist on getting closer to your ex, he or she will make sure you’re sorry for attempting.

Depending on how mature your ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend is, your ex could even try to make you jealous by dating someone else and rubbing it in your face.

Dumpers who do that are normally the type of people who lack self-awareness, self-control, and sympathy for others. As a result of their lackings, they often go to great lengths to prove their significance—just so they can win the post-breakup war.

My ex hates me, but I love her/him like crazy

If your dumper ex hates you, you will probably find out very quickly when you attempt to reinitiate contact.

That’s why you should never try to force your ex to love you back—even if you still love your ex like a madman.

What you’re experiencing after the breakup is a one-sided craving -unrequited love. So because it’s unreturned, you can’t coerce your ex in loving you back. This is especially true when your ex hates you so much that he or she can’t even verbalize it.

Just because you love your ex but he or she doesn’t, doesn’t mean that you should pursue the lost love. You won’t find it anyway.

That’s why the saying that you “should fight for love” doesn’t apply to breakups. It applies to relationships and the difficulties people encounter along the way.

Furthermore, ex-partners don’t deserve unconditional love when they have withdrawn theirs. As a matter of fact, they don’t deserve anything that validates, empowers, supports, encourages, enables, or assists them.

So keep in mind that you should always avoid helping an ex that has discarded you. You don’t need to play mind games or pretend that you don’t care about your ex.

Simply remove your attention from your ex because your business with him or her is finished.

Since your ex chose to live independently (or with someone else) let your ex deal with his or her life issues on his or her own—while you take care of yours.

So avoid giving your ex the satisfaction of knowing that you’re still in love with him or her. Your ex doesn’t deserve it no matter how great a person he or she is.

My ex-husband/ex-wife hates me so much

If your ex-husband or ex-wife hates you because of something you did—or for no reason at all, your plan of action doesn’t change one bit.

Just because you lived a shared, married life for x-amount of years, doesn’t mean that your ex-husband or ex-wife wants you to fight for his or her love.

In your ex’s eyes, you had your chance long ago. So now that it’s over, your ex hates you because of long and painful suffering over the last few months or even years.

He or she, unfortunately, reached the boiling point and needed to make one final push to detach from you. And when your ex did just that, your ex acquired a lot of anger—which he or she used for strength against you.

That’s why it doesn’t leave you with any other option than to leave your ex be for the meantime.

If you try to reason with him or her, it’s only going to make your life even more difficult than it already is.

My ex hates me. How do I get him/her back?

There’s nothing you can personally do that will bring your ex back. That’s why you must instead wait for something to happen to your ex that will shift his or her focus.

This something can be anything negative that would impact your ex enough to force him or her to reconsider his or her actions. But as long as your ex is angry and hates you, he or she likely won’t be receptive enough to do some introspect.

Your ex first needs to process his or her anger toward you and only then become susceptible to nostalgia, pan, and change.

So until that happens, don’t sit around and pray your ex will have a change of heart. It would be a complete waste of time and emotions if your ex hates you and has moved on with someone else—and you’re still hoping that he or she comes back.

Instead, find your own purpose in life to look forward to and enjoy every day as a single person. Gather the strength you need to live independently and become happy with just yourself.

When you do, your ex will no longer be a necessity to you. He or she will merely be an addition to your life.

Does your ex hate you so much that he or she is causing you great suffering? Leave your comment below the article.

Zan

My name is Zan and I’m the founder of Magnet of Success. I enjoy writing realistic relationship and breakup articles and helping readers heal and grow. With more than 5 years of experience in the self-improvement, relationship, and breakup sphere, my goal is to provide advice that fosters positivity and success and avoids preventable mistakes and pain. Buy me a coffee, learn more about me, or get in touch today.