She Doesn’t Love Me Anymore! What do I do?

If your girlfriend told you or showed you that she doesn’t love you anymore, your intuition probably tells you to do something about it.

It tells you to chase after your girlfriend, reason with her, and make her love you again.

But, unfortunately, running after your girlfriend with a bouquet of flowers in your hands is the last thing you want to do. Not only does chasing your girlfriend give her more of that which she doesn’t want (attention, validation, power, and control), but it also conveys to her that you don’t respect her choice.

It tells her that you don’t care about her decisions, thoughts, and feelings and that you lack control of your actions.

That’s why listening to your gut feelings and reasoning with your girlfriend is not going to work. It can’t work because your girlfriend isn’t ready for it. She’s in an emotionally-detached state that prevents her from discerning your worth and falling back in love with you.

The only way she can fall back in love is if something or someone changes her opinion of you.

That something or someone can be anything influential that corrects the way she perceives you. It can be a new rebound relationship, depression, or simply the realization that life before the breakup used to be better than life after.

Almost always, it’s a negative event that triggers nostalgia and makes people reflect. This is why there’s no telling how long it will take your girlfriend to experience something negative and painful.

It could take her weeks or it could take her months. Perhaps she’ll never suffer and crave your intimacy. No one knows for sure because every person has different coping mechanisms and ways of living.

But one thing is for certain.

Your girlfriend needs lots of time to think about her feelings. If you beg and plead with her, you’ll most likely make her feel worse. You’ll worsen her already bad negative perceptions of you and create one more reason for her to stay out of love with you.

So don’t try to change your girlfriend’s made-up mind. Don’t do what your heart tells you to do and instead give her what she’s asking for – time, space, and lots of self-investment.

This is what will make her happy. So make her happy.

Today’s topic is, “She doesn’t love me anymore. What do I do?”

She doesn’t love me anymore. What do I do?

If your girlfriend doesn’t love you and wants to break up with you, you need to understand that she’d contemplated breaking up with you for quite some time.

She’d thought about leaving you for at least a week or two because that’s how long it normally takes dumpers to leave. They first start thinking about breaking up and weighing the pros and cons—and eventually start liking the idea of breaking up.

It’s how they muster up the courage to separate themselves from their partners.

And that’s exactly what happened to your girlfriend. She thought about the positives and negatives and began to doubt her love for you. This went on for so long that she ended up falling out of love with you and started fancying single life.

That’s why single life feels a lot more enticing to your girlfriend than staying with you right now. In fact, it feels so relaxing that she’d do anything just to stop feeling smothered and get a breath of fresh air.

To get some space.

As a dumpee or a future dumpee, this isn’t something you have much if any control over. Your girlfriend feels a strong need to get away from you because she hadn’t controlled her thoughts during the relationship.

Instead of controlling them, she just let them roam freely and allowed them to create strong emotions of doubt, disinterest, and repulsion. Eventually, her negative thoughts and emotions got so bad that the only way she could break free from them is by telling you that she doesn’t love you anymore.

It hurts to hear that someone you invested your heart and soul in wants to break up with you, but that’s just the way breakups work. They break our hearts and send soul-breaking separation anxiety through our bodies.

I wish there was something we could do to make the pain go away right away, but as far as I know, there is no such cure for heartbreak. Going under someone to get over an ex certainly doesn’t work. Neither does taking revenge on an ex or doing something malicious.

The only thing that can mend a broken heart is self-investment and time alone. And that’s because working on yourself, staying busy, and enjoying life can help you realize that the world isn’t going to end with your girlfriend’s departure.

If you have a positive outlook on life and healthy self-esteem, you know that a lot of things are going to improve—starting with your thinking and behavioral patterns.

She doesn’t love me anymore but I want her back

If you love a girl but she doesn’t love you back, the best thing you can do for her as well as yourself is to leave the girl alone. You need to understand that she’d made a premeditated conscious decision to break up with you and doesn’t want you to win her over.

All she wants from you is to respect her wishes and give her enough space and time to think about the breakup.

Here’s what you should do if your girlfriend doesn’t love you anymore.

Your girlfriend probably hasn’t told you, but she subconsciously wants to see if she’d made the right decision and if she can be happier without you. If she can, then her love for you, unfortunately, will never return.

It will stay the way it is.

But if she can’t be happy without you and needs you in her life for any reason at all, then things will take a turn for the better. She’ll come running back faster than roadrunner and apologize for making a rash decision.

The most important thing you need to remember is that exes leave when they’re unhappy and also come back when they’re unhappy. This is a fact and it’s never going to change because unhappiness is the reason why exes come back.

It’s the kind of inducement that triggers desperation inside people and forces them to become happy again. If you think about that for a minute, you’ll understand that your girlfriend or ex-girlfriend “just” needs to fail at something important and realize that she’d taken you for granted.

This may sound fairly simple, but there’s more to it. Your girlfriend doesn’t just have to fail at something dear to her. If that were the case, your girlfriend’s chance of return would be nearly 100% because time would be all she needs to make an error.

She could also get emotional support from someone other than you, so she wouldn’t necessarily need to choose you of all the helpful people in her life.

Your girlfriend would also need to disassociate negativity from your pre-breakup persona (as well as post-breakup persona if you committed breakup mistakes) and start thinking of you in a positive light.

One way your girlfriend could do that is to think of your relationship as something meaningful that boosted her happiness and made her feel respected and cared for.

In other words, she has to become nostalgic about you and see romantic value in you.

She says she doesn’t love me but I know she does

An immature person who desires power over you might tell you that she doesn’t love you, but a mature person who’s given up on you definitely won’t.

She’ll instead be honest with you and tell you that she doesn’t love you. A mature girl will do this to kill your hope and to protect herself from your perseverance.

I know you think that she loves you and wants to be with you because you feel incredibly connected to her, but the truth is that she doesn’t feel the same way.

The connection you feel now that she’s fallen out of love is different from what she feels. You as a dumpee are in denial and feel a strong need for love whereas your girlfriend is detached or detaching and doesn’t feel as hopeful as you do.

She doesn’t feel pulled toward you because she doesn’t suffer from separation anxiety and worry that she’ll lose your love forever. Sure, she’s probably uncertain about the future, but she doesn’t suffer the way you do.

For the most part, she’s okay with being alone and is staying in control of her emotions.

As a result, she doesn’t feel the desire or the need to bond with you. She’s happy with the way things are at the moment because she’d been thinking about this moment for a long time.

Every recent argument or every unhappy moment she experienced, she wondered what it’d feel like to be single. This is why she now enjoys her freedom and independence and looks forward to a new beginning.

What do I do if she doesn’t love me anymore?

If your girlfriend doesn’t love you anymore, there’s nothing left for you to do. The relationship has ended and left you in pieces, so pick up those pieces and rebuild your self-esteem.

I know this is the last thing you want to hear because you’re looking for reconciliation hope — something you could use to get your ex-girlfriend back.

But the unfortunate truth is that there is no magic trick that could help you get your ex back.

Begging doesn’t work, ex-back spells don’t work, text your ex back techniques are scams, the 30-day no contact rule is designed to give you hope and make you desperate, and fake breakup experts spreading misinformation certainly can’t help you either.

The best way to get your ex back is to make your ex actually want you back. And the only way you can do that is to do that which you least want to do.

Accept the breakup and go indefinite no contact.

You won’t like it at first because you’ll be in pain and will want your ex to take your anxiety away. But that’s exactly what makes the no contact rule so effective.

I don’t like calling this rule a technique because that would give the rule that psychological push-pull manipulation vibe.

That’s not what no contact is about. No contact is about healing from the breakup and getting yourself back. In the process, you coincidentally also give your ex wants she wants and help her process the breakup.

It’s a win-win for both of you as it helps you and your ex get what you want. You get to heal and your ex gets the space she requires.

You may think that you’ll always want your ex back because you’re in a lot of pain right now, but that may change soon.

A lot of dumpees want their ex back just because their ex broke their ego and not necessarily because their ex is the best for them.

So go no contact and wait in no contact for a while. You’ll probably realize that the reason your (ex)girlfriend doesn’t love you anymore is because a lot of things went wrong in the relationship.

Now that she doesn’t love you anymore, you’ve got enough time on your hands to figure out why she fell out of love. Was it because of something you did or didn’t do?

Did you both stop watering the relationship? Did she fall out of love because she stopped respecting and valuing you?

Something went wrong. And before that something is fixed, your relationship can’t endure another round of the same relationship dynamics. If the main problem in the relationship was you, take your time to fix it.

Work on it and grow from the breakup.

You’ll probably hear from your ex when she’s had enough time to process the dumper stages. So remain patient and keep improving yourself every day.

Your future relationship (whether it’s with your ex or with someone else) depends on it.

I hope you agree with what’s written on this page. Feel free to comment below.

Zan

My name is Zan and I’m the founder of Magnet of Success. I enjoy writing realistic relationship and breakup articles and helping readers heal and grow. With more than 5 years of experience in the self-improvement, relationship, and breakup sphere, my goal is to provide advice that fosters positivity and success and avoids preventable mistakes and pain. Buy me a coffee, learn more about me, or get in touch today.