How To Act Around Your Ex Who Dumped You?

If you’re looking for information on how to act around your ex who dumped you, know that the best way to act is to act natural.

Smile, laugh, talk, ask questions, and enjoy yourself because the more you do that the more you’ll convey to your ex that you’re doing well and that don’t need him or her to be happy.

Pondering about what to say and how to act around your ex who dumped you, on the other hand, won’t make you look natural.

It will overload your brain with thoughts and anxiety and make you reflect your unease onto your ex.

So don’t worry too much about what to say and how to act and just act how you always act!

If you normally talk about politics, talk about politics. If you do silly dance moves, do the moves. It doesn’t matter what you do and how you do it as long as you don’t commit post-breakup mistakes and look miserable.

The key to acting around an ex who dumped you is very straightforward. You must do your best to stop trying to impress your ex and focus on yourself.

If you manage to do that, you’ll hit two birds with one stone.

1. You’ll feel confident in your body.
2. And you’ll appear as attractive as possible.

In this article, we’ll talk about virtuous ways on how to act around your ex who dumped you and give you some tips on how to become the best version of yourself.

How to act around your ex who dumped you?

If you’re hurting over the loss of your relationship and you want your ex back to heal your wounds, acting cool and collected around an ex who hurt you won’t be easy.

Chances are that you’ll be self-conscious around your ex and that you’ll have a difficult time being your natural self.

In that case, know that you don’t need to pretend to be happier than ever. If you’re not ready to talk to your ex (and if your ex isn’t ready to talk to you), you can just greet your ex with a simple hello and keep walking.

You don’t have to ignore your ex (and shouldn’t because ignoring is rude, weak, and makes people feel little and uncomfortable), but you should at least acknowledge your ex’s presence and focus on something or someone other than your ex.

That way, you’ll:

• avoid conversing with your ex about unnecessary things
• stop yourself from analyzing your ex’s words, behavior, and life without you
• show your ex that you respect him/her as well as yourself
• prove that you have strong moral values
• and convey to your ex that you’ve forgiven him or her for hurting you

It’d be difficult for me to tell you exactly how to act around an ex who dumped you because if I told you to say this or to do that, I’d take your individuality away. I’d make you act out of character and that wouldn’t be right.

So instead of copying something I would do, act in a way that is natural to your character. And when you do, make sure to also behave in line with high morals, confidence, and self-esteem.

This will make you into a person worthy of love and respect and encourage you to grow within.

Be yourself

Staying true to your character is important when it comes to acting around an ex who dumped you. It’s important for your personal growth, but also for your ex because your ex is used to seeing you in a certain way.

Your ex knows your personality – your behavioral patterns, so whatever you do, don’t listen to those “get a girl/guy to like you” Youtube videos that tell you to impress your ex with some cocky line.

If exes could be impressed that easily, every dumpee could learn a few sneaky manipulation techniques and get his or her ex back.

But unfortunately, life doesn’t work that way. It takes a lot more than a quick line to impress an ex who isn’t mentally ready to be impressed. It takes time, patience, and most of all, a healthy mentality and your ex to process the breakup.

If your ex isn’t ready and you try to make your ex become ready on your terms by pretending to be someone you’re not, take my word that you’ll make your ex feel strange and cause him or her to avoid you like the plague.

So be your usual mature and self-aware self and stay true to your values.

Don’t talk about the breakup

If you want to know how to act around your ex who dumped you, you need to learn the first rule of a breakup.

Don’t talk about the breakup.

Your ex would much rather not hear how hurt you are and how he or she has made a bad decision to leave you.

If you talk to your ex about the breakup, you’ll show your ex that you’re still thinking about the past and that you haven’t moved on yet. This will convey to your ex that you lack the personal strength to detach and that you still think your ex is crucial for your well-being.

So instead of talking about the breakup and the memories your ex doesn’t want to be reminded of, talk about everything you’ve been able to accomplish thanks to the breakup.

Don’t brag, of course, but do mention the people you’ve met and things that have been keeping you busy.

It’s perfectly fine to talk about yourself because if your ex is talking to you, your ex curious about you. He or she wants to know how you’ve been and what your life’s been like without your ex in it.

Talk about your goals

If you want to know how to act around your ex who dumped you, one of the best pieces of advice I can share with you is to talk about your passion, hobbies, and things that give meaning to your life.

By doing so, you’ll show your ex and everyone around you that you aren’t moping around because of the breakup and that you’ve got much better things planned for yourself.

Things that don’t revolve around your ex.

Trust me that nothing will raise your value as a dumpee more than living your life with passion and purpose. Nothing will make you more attractive and desirable than saying you’ve been getting up each and every morning with something to look forward to.

So show your ex and others that you have a lot going on in your life and that you’re enjoying your life to the fullest.

Show changes and improvements

Earlier we mentioned that you should be yourself around your ex. But this doesn’t mean that you should stay in your comfort zone and remain the person you were when you got dumped.

Far from it.

If you want to make a lasting impression on your ex, display your new social skills, communication styles, non-verbal communication, and everything you weren’t very good at before.

This will tell your ex that something inspired you to change and that you’re not the person you were when you got dumped.

When your ex truly understands that the breakup has changed you for the better, one of two things will happen.

1. Your ex will develop respect for you and maybe even feel envious that you were able to develop new skills without him or her.
2. Your ex will be too closed-minded to acknowledge your changes and keep his or her distance from you.

If your ex doesn’t care about your changes and ignores your presence, it goes without saying that your ex isn’t capable of letting go of the past. He or she is someone who lacks control over his or her self-destructive emotions and doesn’t believe that people can grow.

Don’t let that stop you, though.

No matter what your ex thinks about you and how he or she feels toward you, you should always be the best version of yourself around everyone you come in contact with.

You shouldn’t be afraid of showing your personal improvements just because there’s a chance your ex won’t acknowledge them.

Visual changes

Obviously, the first thing people notice when you walk into a room is your fashion style. They see your clothes, shoes, jewelry, hairstyle, tattoos, and everything that makes you you.

Your ex will too.

Provided that you improved yourself visually, your ex will compare your old dressing style to your new style and wonder why you upgraded your wardrobe all of a sudden. All you have to do is find new (different) visual ways to present yourself and your body will speak for you.

So if you haven’t already left your pre-breakup looks behind, now would be a great time to do that. Invite your friend/s to go shopping with you and visually disassociate yourself from the person you were when you were with your ex.

By improving or changing the way you look, you’ll indirectly tell your ex that your image is important to you and that you’d like others to respect you.

Be nice to everyone

If you really want to know how to act around your ex who dumped you, be nice. But don’t just be nice to your ex. Be nice to everyone you know and don’t know.

Keep in mind that your ex will observe the way you communicate with people. He or she will study your facial expressions, body language, the tone of your voice, the way you carry yourself, and your choice of words.

Your ex may not do this intentionally, but if your ex is curious about you, he or she will want to know how you’re doing and what’s changed since the breakup.

Curiosity will compel your ex to learn more about you. So make sure to stay on your best behavior and treat your ex and others the way you want to be treated.

A great way to be nice to people is to compliment them, ask them for advice, and to encourage them to talk about themselves. This will let them know that you’re interested in them and that you value their opinion.

In return for your kindness, they will then open up to you and show or tell people that you’re a good listener and a reliable person.

Don’t take yourself too seriously

If you want to come across as someone who’s healed from the breakup, try to loosen up a little. Show the world that you’re over your ex and that you’re emotionally ready to enjoy your life.

You don’t need to joke about the breakup or anything related to your ex of course. But if you can joke about yourself or something you recently failed at, you’ll show that you don’t take yourself seriously.

You’ll show character and prove that you have the ability to move on from the past and learn from your mistakes.

So if there’s something you did in the past that you’re not very proud of and you want people to stop teasing you about it, simply joke about it (preferably before others bring it up).

By doing so, you’ll take the initiative and show people that your mistakes don’t define you.

Don’t speak negatively

Whether you want your ex back or not, don’t do anything that portrays you in a bad light.

Don’t gossip, take revenge, bully others, express sharp criticism, show anger/a lack of self-control, talk badly about your boss, say your job sucks, cry in public, mention you’re broke or depressed, and do anything that wouldn’t impress a stranger, let alone an ex.

Being negative is not the right way to act around your ex who dumped you. Heck, it’s not the right way to act around any living being, so don’t do it.

As the saying goes, if you have nothing nice to say, you shouldn’t say anything at all. You should keep it to yourself and work on feeling better.

Remember this next time you feel tempted to impress your ex with anger, hatred, sadness, pity, or any kind of negativity.

Don’t sulk somewhere in the corner

Frowning, sulking, and looking like you don’t want to be where you are comes off as rude and inconsiderate. It shows that you’re unhappy and that something is disturbing you or missing in your life.

Something such as personal happiness.

You really don’t want to stand by yourself and avoid people. If you do that, people will notice it and your ex will feel sorry for you.

And as you know, your ex will never respect you if you look like you’re waiting to be rescued from your own misery.

Your ex will respect you only if you’re engaging with others and helping them with their own problems.

This brings us to our next topic.

Be selfless and in control

If you want to make a good impression on your ex and the people you converse with, try to be selfless. Try to put your wants and needs aside and focus on other people.

This will say 3 things about you.

1. That you care about others.
2. That you’re a good person.
3. That you’re in control of your emotions (not grieving over the loss of your relationship).

So if you’re wondering how to act around your ex who dumped you, act with confidence, maturity, and kindness. Act in a way that shows you’re strong enough to help other people with their problems.

Make eye contact but don’t stare and make things awkward

Friendly eye contact asserts confidence while too much eye contact portrays excessive interest. The key to mastering eye contact with an ex is to look your ex between the eyes for 4-5 seconds every time you speak or listen to your ex.

If you and your ex are not speaking to each other, however, then you don’t need to look at your ex at all. You won’t come off as disrespectful if you just mind your own business.

You’ll come off as a guy/woman who has his or her life under control.

Don’t pretend to be on top of the world

It’s okay to laugh and have a good time. In fact, I suggest that you try to enjoy yourself as much as possible.

But don’t pretend to be so happy you can’t contain yourself. Excessive happiness will not make your ex envy you and respect you. It will probably just weird your ex out and/or maybe even cause your ex to avoid you.

If there are many people in the room, act as if your ex isn’t there.

Act like an old friend

If your ex wants to talk to you and you’re ready to talk to your ex, you should act like you haven’t seen your ex in years. Ask your ex how he or she has been and try to have a short conversation with your ex.

You can talk about anything you’d like with your ex, but whatever you do, don’t invite your ex out. If your ex is the dumper, let it be your ex’s idea to reconnect.

Here’s a picture with the most important points on how to act around your ex who dumped you.

How to act around your ex who hurt you?

If seeing your ex hurts you and makes you feel extremely uncomfortable, acting as if nothing had happened will be extremely difficult. Chances are that you’ll feel pulled toward your ex and that you’ll want to know everything about your ex.

You’ll want to know what your ex has been up to, who your ex’s been talking to, and most importantly, if your ex is dating someone new.

It’s of utmost importance that you don’t ask such questions if you’re not prepared to hear their answer. It’s much better to avoid them altogether and by doing so, keep your anxiety under control.

If you don’t know what to avoid, here are a few examples:

• Talking about the breakup
• Talking about a possible reconciliation
• Asking if your ex started dating anyone
• Indulging in nostalgia and trying to remind your ex how good the relationship with him/her was
• Demanding explanations and closure
• Threatening your ex, e.g. telling your ex that he or she will be sorry
• Telling your ex you’re anxious or depressed
• Guilt-tripping

Basically, don’t talk about anything that could bring a bad reaction out of your ex and/or give you killer anxiety and make you analyze your ex later at home.

When it comes to breakups, ignorance is bliss. The less you know about your ex, the better. So try not to dig for information that you’re better off without.

Don’t talk to your ex if you’re hurt

If your ex has hurt you badly, you obviously shouldn’t be talking to your ex. You should be staying away from your ex and healing from the breakup.

Your health is more important than your ex. It always will be.

But if you must talk to your ex because you work with your ex or you have kids with him or her, then try to keep contact to a minimum.

Talk only about important subjects that are in the interest of both.

This includes conversations about:

• finances
• mortgages
• kids
• personal belongings
• and things that can’t wait

Anything that doesn’t concern your ex as much as it concerns you is probably not something you should talk to your ex about.

I hope this article has provided you with some information on how to act around your ex who dumped you and hurt you. If it did and/or if you have some ideas of your own to share, comment below and I’ll add them to the article. Thanks for reading!

Zan

My name is Zan and I’m the founder of Magnet of Success. I enjoy writing realistic relationship and breakup articles and helping readers heal and grow. With more than 5 years of experience in the self-improvement, relationship, and breakup sphere, my goal is to provide advice that fosters positivity and success and avoids preventable mistakes and pain. Buy me a coffee, learn more about me, or get in touch today.