I Can Feel My Ex Thinking About Me

When I was going through my breakup, I could feel my ex thinking about me.

I could feel her brain waves connecting with my thoughts, her heart beating in my chest, and her very soul entangling with mine as if we were kindred spirits.

Well, at least that’s how I thought I felt.

The reality was that I was desperate to get back with my ex, so naturally, my anxious brain told me what I wanted to hear instead of what I needed to hear. It told me that my ex and I were connected and that nothing could ever sever our connection.

Not even a breakup.

My brain basically convinced me that my feelings for my ex can’t be one-sided because if they were, I wouldn’t feel so strongly for my ex. I wouldn’t feel that we belong together and that we’re going to get back together in the future.

That’s why I made one of the worst post-breakup mistakes a dumpee can make.

I checked my ex’s social media and expected to see tons of regretful quotes and comments that she misses me.

But to my surprise, all I saw were relieved posts and pictures of men I’d never seen before. This, of course, demolished my remaining self-esteem and set me back emotionally.

It hurt me so much it made me want to take revenge on my ex for getting involved with other men.

Luckily, though, I didn’t do that.

But I did learn a valuable lesson. A lesson that the emotions I felt for my ex weren’t a sign that my ex was thinking about me. They were a sign that I was hurt and that my self-defense mechanism was trying to protect me from slipping deeper into depression.

Now that you’ve heard my story, you’re, of course, free to believe what you want. You can believe that your ex is thinking about you, missing you, drowning in regret, or that your ex wants you back.

Whichever superstition you want to believe is completely up to you.

But before you make up your mind, I’d like to tell you that a gut feeling that an ex will come back and similar ex-related thoughts are self-created. They have nothing to do with your ex thinking about you and missing you, but rather, with you missing parts of your ex.

This is why you shouldn’t make the same mistake I did.

If your ex left you, I assure you that your ex isn’t obsessing about you. Your ex may not be talking to other people like mine did, but just because you’re thinking about your ex doesn’t mean that your ex is thinking about you too.

He or she probably does a few times a day (most exes do right after the breakup), but your ex definitely isn’t thinking about having an unbreakable connection with you.

Dumpers don’t think that way. They feel relieved, which is why they think mainly about their own lives.

So if you’re ready to learn more about these inexplicable feelings of feeling connected to someone who hurt you, read on. This article will bring you some clarity.

I can feel my ex thinking about me

Even though it’s been a long time since I felt my ex thinking about me, I still remember how I felt. I felt a mixture of certainty, optimism, vulnerability, gratitude, nostalgia, and hope.

Mostly hope because I hoped that my ex would come back and take the worst depression of my life away.

The feelings I felt for my ex resided deep inside my chest area (and sometimes in my head) and were difficult to explain to someone who wasn’t going through the same thing as me. But if I had to describe them with one word, I’d say that they felt reassuring.

They gave me the “feeling” that my ex was missing me or at the very least, thinking about me and everything I did for her.

I don’t know exactly how long these feelings lasted, but I’m certain that they occurred about a week or two after the breakup and lasted at least a few days.

When they first occurred, I felt 100% certain that I could feel my ex thinking about me because I saw my ex online late at night. She was never on at night, so I immediately assumed that she was checking up on me because she was missing me.

“I can feel my ex thinking about me and missing me,” I thought to myself. “I can feel her coming back to her senses“

I felt extremely hopeful about reconciliation and felt better than ever. It was my happiest day since the breakup.

That’s why I even dreamed about my ex that night and felt my ex’s’ love again.

You’d think I woke up as happy as a clam after a happy ex-dream, but, unfortunately, breakups don’t work that way. Hope doesn’t heal broken hearts. It temporarily covers them with bandaids and waits until reality rips them off.

In my case, reality hit me hard when I woke up because the second I opened my eyes, I wished that I didn’t.

In a matter of seconds, my heart rate increased tenfold and anxiety returned.

But because I was stubborn and lacked self-esteem, I didn’t throw in the towel just yet. Instead, I thought that my ex must be thinking about me, so I started looking for explanations.

“There had to be some kind of secret meaning to my ex-dreams,” I thought to myself. “A message from my ex or some kind of a sign from the universe that my ex will come back?“

Wrong.

My ex wasn’t the kind of person who missed me or thought about me. She didn’t even feel guilty. This person was young and immature, so all she thought about was enjoying her new life.

I had to learn this the hard way by stalking her online.

I wish I could be the only person who ever experienced these “I can feel my ex thinking about me” feelings, but the truth is that I’m not the only one. Many dumpees go through them at least once in their lives.

Especially those dumpees who get hurt by their ex and refuse to concentrate on themselves.

Such dumpees subconsciously look for hope to cling on, so they often convince themselves that their ex is responsible for their post-breakup thoughts and feelings.

Perhaps this is the reason why hope gives us strength. It makes us believe that something bad will go away and that things will return to the way they were.

Although having hope and reasonable expectations can be a good thing, the truth is that there’s a huge difference between realistic hope and false hope.

Realistic hope is when you’re working toward something which is in your power to control, and false hope is when you’re looking for deceptive/unrealistic news to av0id accepting reality and putting in the work.

Here’s where gut feelings come from.

What about the people who think about their ex and receive a message from their ex?

Prior to writing this chapter, I went on Youtube and searched for “LOA to get your ex back.” There I found many hopeful dumpees who were feeling connected to their ex and hoped that their ex would call.

Some of those people received a text or a call from their ex while listening to the Youtube videos for hours a day, but the majority of them didn’t. Most of them were just hoping they’d receive a call, so they left comments, saying, “I can feel my ex thinking about me, coming back to me, falling in love with me,” etc.

Unfortunately, most people listening to hope-giving Youtube videos didn’t hear from their ex on that same day. They heard from their ex days, weeks, or months later.

As for those who did receive a message while listening to the videos, I found that a great majority of them were talking to their exes and were friends with them.

They weren’t in no contact.

So trust me that I’ve done my research on this matter and that dumpers don’t send love dumpees’ way the way dumpers do. I hate being the bearer of bad news, but most of them don’t because when dumpers leave, they require space.

And space, unfortunately, doesn’t make them think about their exes. It forces them to focus on themselves more.

Don’t reach out when you feel your ex thinking about you

If you feel your ex thinking about you or missing you, whatever you do, don’t take it as a sign that your ex is vulnerable and that you must reach out.

This kind of thinking won’t help you get your ex back nor will it make you feel any better. It will just smother your ex and show your ex that you’re dependent on him or her for self-love.

So instead of getting rejected again, leave your ex alone and focus on yourself. You’ll soon realize that your unprovable feelings are self-created and that they don’t last very long.

They may not go away overnight, but once you stop thinking about them and giving them the importance they don’t deserve, they’ll gradually disappear.

You just have to stay mentally and emotionally healthy and steer clear of your ex.

When exes are gone, so is the connection

Some dumpees believe that their thoughts and feelings are interconnected with the person they love. But if that were true, wouldn’t they feel more connected with someone who loves them back?

With someone who doesn’t feel relieved and elated that the relationship is over?

If you ask me, it would make a lot more sense to feel a connection with someone who’s into you and not with someone who’s not.

That’s why I don’t think that dumpees feel connected with their ex. I believe it’s exactly the opposite. They don’t feel connected, so they yearn to once again feel loved and respected.

They miss the connection they used to have, so they reminisce about that connection and miss it.

This doesn’t, however mean that they’re emotionally or spiritually conencted.

So next time you think to yourself, “I feel my ex thinking about me,” ask yourself if you truly feel your ex thinking about you or if it’s just your fears, anxiety, unhappiness, or insecurities making you think that you do.

My ex messaged me when I wasn’t thinking about her

Many dumpees believe they need to think about their ex to hear from their ex. But the truth is that most dumpees receive a message when they’re not thinking about their ex.

They receive a message because they stay away from their ex and give their ex enough time to process the breakup.

This happened to me too.

My ex sent me a breadcrumb when I was finally happy and mostly over her. The breadcrumb was about my new Facebook account – about something I, nor she couldn’t care less about.

The point I’m trying to make is that my ex messaged me when I needed her the least.

I wasn’t thinking about her, dreaming about her, or hoping that she’ll come back. I was just being my old happy self, and I liked it.

This is how it is for a lot of dumpees.

Just when they take their focus off their ex and put it on themselves, they hear from their ex and start thinking about their ex again.

When this happens to you, don’t think that your ex wants you back. Instead, think of your ex’s message as a meaningless breadcrumb and keep moving on.

If your ex regrets dumping you and wants you back, your ex will try much, much harder to win your love back. He or she will show a lot of interest and won’t let you go.

Keep that in mind.

Are you still thinking to yourself, “I can feel my ex thinking about me?” How would you describe these feelings? Share your thoughts, feelings, and experiences below this post. ?

Zan

My name is Zan and I’m the founder of Magnet of Success. I enjoy writing realistic relationship and breakup articles and helping readers heal and grow. With more than 5 years of experience in the self-improvement, relationship, and breakup sphere, my goal is to provide advice that fosters positivity and success and avoids preventable mistakes and pain. Learn more about me or get in touch today.