Ex-boyfriend’s New Girlfriend Is Jealous Of Me

If your ex-boyfriend’s new girlfriend is jealous or suspicious of you, know that this is very common as lots of people have trust issues because of something that’s happened to them during or after their previous relationships.

They just don’t want others to know about them because they fear others will use their vulnerabilities against them.

With your ex’s girlfriend though, it’s the opposite. Instead of hiding her insecurities, she’s putting them out there because she doesn’t like the idea that her boyfriend still talks to you, mentions you, or does something that reminds her you’re still around.

She feels threatened by you because she:

• lacks knowledge and relationship experience
• experienced betrayal in the past and doesn’t want to relive it
• or knows that ex-boyfriends and ex-girlfriends sometimes get back together and is afraid of the worst

She’s basically insecure and badly wants her boyfriend to do something to relieve her fears and worries—and make her feel respected.

When the guy finally does that, she’ll be able to trust him completely and work on her issues as well as other aspects of the relationship. But until then, jealousy issues are not going anywhere.

They’ll remain because both your ex and his girlfriend need to make some personal adjustments.

Of course, his girlfriend can suck it up and do all the work by herself, but that will likely create an imbalance in the relationship, breed resentment, or even worse, cause vindictive thoughts that could inflict punishment at a later date.

So if you’re wondering why your ex-boyfriend’s new girlfriend is jealous of you, try to understand that jealousy is a fear of what has happened, what is happening, or what could happen in the future.

But this fear isn’t necessarily entirely self-created.

It’s possible that your ex-boyfriend is doing something to make his girlfriend anxious—or conversely, not doing enough to reduce his girlfriend’s suspicion.

For example, instead of listening to his girlfriend and reassuring her, he could be telling her he’s never had such a jealous girlfriend before and that she needs to pull herself together if she wants to be with him.

This would make any insecure person even more insecure as a dismissive guy would disapprove of her fears in a forthright manner and tell her to deal with her issues on her own.

So even though this girl or woman has a lot of internal work to do, bear in mind that she’ll have a very hard time working on her issues if her partner is not being supportive and is doing the opposite of what she needs to feel secure.

She’ll do much better if he apologizes and makes amends by treating her fairly.

That’s how she’ll be able to relax and grow her self-esteem.

In this post, we’ll talk about what to do when your ex-boyfriend’s new girlfriend is jealous of you.

Why is my ex-boyfriend’s new girlfriend jealous of me?

Without talking to your ex, it’ll be difficult to pinpoint the exact reason why your ex’s new girlfriend is jealous of you. But you can still make an accurate guess if you identify your good qualities (those that you display to the world).

Think about what you have that stands out and compare it to what your ex’s new girlfriend doesn’t have or is trying to have. That would be a good way to start because maybe she’s jealous of the things you can provide but she can’t.

After that, move on to your behavior – actions and inactions. It’s possible that you’re doing something that’s indirectly hurting this person.

Are you close to your ex? Closer than you should be? Is your ex helping you out a lot with various things and his girlfriend doesn’t like that you’re friends or best friends?

If you can’t figure out how you’re overstepping the girl’s boundaries, here are 5 common reasons why your ex’s new girlfriend is jealous of you.

Perhaps your ex’s girlfriend isn’t jealous of anything in particular. Maybe she just doesn’t like that you’re still communicating with your ex.

You used to be intimate with her boyfriend, after all, so she probably doesn’t like that you’re so close with someone she loves and wants all to herself.

What to do when your ex-boyfriend’s new girlfriend is jealous of you?

The most valuable piece of knowledge people lack when it comes to understanding others (or themselves) is that jealousy, envy, anger, and other strong negative emotions are a sign of pain and an overwhelming desire to grab control of that pain.

They aren’t the healthiest emotions people can express when they feel hurt, but oftentimes, expressing these emotions is the only way people can respond when they’re in pain. They don’t know how to control their emotions better because frankly, they never learned how to control them.

They always just ignored them, neglected the importance of personal growth, and merely reacted to negativity. So that’s what they do even today. They allow themselves to be controlled by their emotions rather than taking charge of their emotions.

The reason why people don’t change, therefore, is very straightforward. 1)They aren’t aware that they have personal issues to overcome. 2)Or if they are aware, they aren’t prepared to put months or years of hard work into it.

Yes, becoming fully aware and in control of emotions takes years of self-discipline. It requires determination, willpower, consistency, drive, trial and error, but most of all, a strong desire to change.

Without a desire, improving shortcomings and controlling negative emotions can’t come to fruition. A person can mature with age, but if he doesn’t practice self-awareness, he can’t improve a whole lot.

This is why only the most mindful people realize that when someone is jealous that he or she is hurting for a reason and that he or she needs help, not criticism.

How a person reacts to jealousy, injustice, negativity, grief, perils, and similar emotions depends on many things, including self-esteem, self-control, self-awareness, and personal values.

But unless these positive, self-protective traits are perfect (they never are), a person might still get affected by external stressors – by things that his or her partner does or doesn’t do.

This means that your ex’s girlfriend feels jealous because:

1. She hasn’t done the work on herself prior to getting in a relationship.
2. Or because her boyfriend, you, or both aren’t doing everything in your power to give her what she needs to feel secure.

People are quick to judge others when they display unattractive traits. Very rarely do they understand what those people have been through and consider the fact that they’re acting emotionally because they’re hurting and want their pain to stop.

I’m not saying it’s okay for them to project their unease at others because that will hurt others and force most people to project their unease back.

All I’m saying is that becoming aware of people’s pain and acknowledging it can make things a million times better. In fact, it can stop the pain from entering their system and allow them to heal at the speed that their body and mind let them.

This is because most anxious people aren’t looking for trouble (even though they appear that way). What they’re actually looking for is someone who’ll understand them and tell them they’re worthy of care and recognition.

Put it into practice sometimes. You’ll see how quickly you can placate an angry person or soothe a jealous partner if you say something like, “I know you’re hurting and I’m sorry I made you feel that way. How can I make you feel better?”

Remember these magic words when you hurt your partner. They could save your relationship/marriage.

Just don’t say them to your ex’s girlfriend. Especially not if she isn’t talking to you because in that case, she probably doesn’t want to hear from you. She wants her boyfriend to tell her those magic words.

That’s why it’s probably for the best that their relationship perplexities stay between your ex and his girlfrend and that you give their relationship space to breathe.

If you don’t know how to give them space, here are a few things you can try:

• delete romantic pictures of your ex (if you haven’t already)
• stop liking and commenting on your ex’s statuses and pictures
• stop meeting up with your ex and talking to him (unless you need to because you have kids together or some unfinished business)
• stop going to where your ex is going
• before you give your ex space, talk to him and devise a plan on how you can make things better. Honestly, your ex should be the one doing this, but if he isn’t because he lacks relationship skills and maturity, you need to be the one who does something about it.

I know it feels strange to stop being your ex’s friend all of a sudden, but you need to keep in mind that you’re no longer your ex’s girlfriend whom your ex needs to prioritize.

Now, it’s about your ex and his girlfriend—and their relationship is on the line.

So distance yourself from your ex for a while and let them figure out how to deal with jealousy issues on their own.

When they overcome this obstacle, your ex’s girlfriend might grow and become okay with your ex talking to you again. But until then, know your limits, and as difficult as it may be, keep your sentiments to yourself.

It’s the morally righteous thing to do.

Is your ex-boyfriend’s new girlfriend jealous of you? Are you saying or doing anything that triggers her insecurities and makes her jealousy worse? Write your comment below.

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Zan

My name is Zan and I’m the founder of Magnet of Success. I enjoy writing realistic relationship and breakup articles and helping readers heal and grow. With more than 5 years of experience in the self-improvement, relationship, and breakup sphere, my goal is to provide advice that fosters positivity and success and avoids preventable mistakes and pain. Learn more about me or get in touch today.