If you begged and pleaded with your ex after the breakup and pushed your ex away, try not to worry too much about that right now. What’s done is done. Worrying about it is not going to help make things better. It’s just going to make you overthink and cause you to make even more mistakes.
It’s important to note that most dumpees do a little bit of begging and pleading during or after the breakup. They do it because the pain of rejection overwhelms them and forces them to reason with their ex. Little do they know that reasoning with the dumper does the opposite for their ex as it smothers the dumper and makes him or her want to be alone even more.
I’m not telling you this so you can blame yourself for your mistakes. I want you to know that you’re not alone as dumpees all over the world tend to make at least some breakup mistakes.
Typical post-breakup mistakes include begging and pleading, writing letters, buying an expensive ring, showing up unannounced, sending gifts, talking to the dumper’s friends and family, texting paragraphs of texts, and threatening or taking revenge.
Yes, some dumpees are in so much pain that they take revenge. They hope to see their ex react strongly with the intention to see that they can still influence their ex. For some dumpees, revenge is the only method left for making their ex respond to them.
You probably didn’t make any mistakes like that because your intentions were good, but you did some begging and pleading. You wanted your ex to think about leaving you and then return. But if you want your ex to respect you, you have to stop making these mistakes.
You have to acknowledge that your ex is detached and try to let go of control. Learning to let go of your ex is the solution to most of your problems.
In this article, we’ll discuss what begging does to the dumper and whether you ruined things with your ex.
The victim mentality
Right after the breakup, dumpees often think to themselves, “If I give my ex more love and attention, my ex will also give me more of the same. If I can prove how serious I am about the relationship, my ex will also take me seriously.”
But because dumpers are emotionally depleted and done with the relationship, they don’t feel the urge to “give more.” They feel a ton of negative emotions instead and think that their ex doesn’t understand them and respect them.
As a result, they refuse to take responsibility for their actions and develop what we call the victim mentality. This mentality makes them blame their ex for the breakup and tells them to avoid their ex like the plague. Avoiding their ex helps them have fewer uncomfortable moments with their ex and encourages them to think only about themselves.
You see, when the breakup happens, dumpers don’t want to think about their ex’s problems and concerns. They wish to prioritize themselves and live life as free spirits. If their ex makes it hard for them to do that, they tend to feel smothered and unhappy and may even do something their ex doesn’t want them to do.
Sometimes they also feel guilty because they feel bad that their ex is in so much pain while they’ve already moved on. But that doesn’t mean they come back. You’d think that guilt is something your ex needs to return, but guilt is a very bad emotion. It can make dumpers feel responsible for helping their ex when all they want is to look after themselves.
This obligation to help can make them angry and cause them to keep their ex far away from them.
So if you begged and pleaded with your ex for another chance, keep in mind that begging tends to obstruct the dumper’s freedom and happiness. It forces the dumper to think about you even though he or she is trying to get some space and distance.
Because your ex is in a position of power (feels angry, smothered, or disrespected), your denial and persistence can bring an unwanted reaction out of your ex and wound you badly.
You need to be aware of this so you stop begging immediately. You’ll likely have days when you feel like you can’t go on without your ex, but as difficult as your post-breakup life is, you mustn’t make your ex think that you rely on him or her for happiness.
Your ex must think that you’re handling the breakup well so that your ex avoids feeling guilty and admires your strength and determination.
I begged and pleaded with my ex. How badly did I mess it up?
If you begged and pleaded with your ex after the breakup, it’s not the end of the world. You need to remind yourself that although begging wasn’t the best thing to do, you were merely fighting for what you strongly believed in.
You were trying to prove your love and commitment to your ex even though you went about it the wrong way. A much better approach would have been no contact as leaving your ex to his or her devices would have made your ex feel in control of his or her life and allowed your ex to process breakup emotions.
Now that you begged, there’s no point in beating yourself up over it. You can’t change the past, but you can learn that begging doesn’t work and that the key to leaving a good impression on your ex is presenting yourself as an individual with confidence and high self-esteem.
Your ex’s respect for you is already at an all-time low, so you mustn’t decrease it to the point where your ex can walk all over you and get away with it. That won’t impress your ex. It will make your ex lose interest (more interest) and walk away without ever feeling nostalgic about the relationship.
Always remember that it was okay for you to make mistakes. You didn’t know better or lacked self-control at the time. But once you’ve made a mistake and learned that you shouldn’t have made it, you must work on yourself and do your best not to repeat it. A big part of life is to learn from missteps and improve your shortcomings.
The more things you work on, the fewer mistakes you’ll make in your relationships and after your relationships have ended. So take your errors lightly but also very seriously.
Forgive yourself for making them, but also figure out why you made them and how you can avoid making them in the future.
Begging your ex for another chance seldom works
Begging for another chance works when your ex is still committed to you. That’s when your ex will listen to most things you say and see that you care and want to make things work. But after the breakup, begging does the opposite for your ex as your ex no longer wants you to fight for the relationship.
Your ex wants you to give up because that’s exactly what your ex did. Your ex showed you the relationship has ended and that you mustn’t try to oppose your ex’s premeditated decision. Resisting it won’t make your ex feel special—just unheard.
Here’s what begging and pleading does to your ex.
Crying your eyes out and hoping your ex will pity you and want you back is not a very good ex-back strategy. That’s because reasoning with the dumpee in any way at all goes against the dumper’s wishes and triggers his or her repressed anger and/or contempt.
Your ex will respect you a lot more if you accept the breakup as quickly as possible and let your ex come to you. It won’t be easy to let go of your ex and embrace the unknown, but that’s the only way your ex will ever feel something positive for you again. Your ex might not come back because of it, but your ex will at the very least think more fondly of you.
Can begging and pleading change your ex’s perception of you?
Sadly, begging and pleading won’t change your ex’s perception of you for the better. It will worsen it because your ex will remember the last time he/she saw you/heard from you and want to avoid feeling the kind of emotions he or she felt when you begged.
Here’s how begging and pleading with the dumper changes your persona in the dumper’s eyes.
Whenever you feel the urge to turn into a beggar and beg your ex for another chance, remind yourself that begging and pleading will only push your ex away and cause a lot of long-term damage. And some of that damage will, unfortunately, be irreparable or extremely difficult to fix.
But the worst of all isn’t that your actions will change your ex’s perception of you.
The thing that you should be the most scared of is that you could unintentionally ruin your perception of yourself. If you allow yourself to plead with your ex for another chance, you could seriously damage your self-esteem and develop trust issues and mental health problems.
And that’s not what you want.
You don’t want to complicate your life because of your ex. You want to grow from this experience and trust people with your emotions.
Begging will make you want to beg more
If you’re begging your ex for love and attention and aren’t getting what you need, you’re going to want to beg even more. When you get rejected, you’ll get hurt and need your ex to come back and love you.
Continuous begging will keep you hooked on your ex and force your ex to reject you over and over again.
Here’s a picture of what a never-ending cycle of begging looks like.
Every time your ex rejects you, he or she hurts you deeper and causes more long-term suffering.
And the more you suffer, the more you’ll think that talking your ex into getting back with you is going to work. But in reality, evoking negative feelings never works.
Happiness, confidence, high self-esteem, lots of dating options, success in life, a fit body, a promising job, lots of friends, a happy family, and everything positive is what it takes to attract the right kind of individual.
That’s why crying to your ex accomplishes the opposite of what you’re trying to achieve. It gives your ex reasons not to love you and reduces the chances of your ex coming back now and in the future.
Keep in mind that your ex left because he or she was unhappy and that when you show unhappiness, you basically confirm that your ex made the right decision to leave you.
By begging and crying, you don’t show that you care. You show your ex that you lack what it takes to be happy with what you have and on your own. And your ex knows that a person who can’t be happy on his or her own won’t make him or her happy either.
That person will over-rely on him or her for happiness and success in life.
So if your ex is happy and you’re miserable, it’s highly unlikely that your ex will want to be with you. The happiness scale has to flip upside down (your ex must become unhappy) for your ex to consider you a viable dating option.
That’s because your ex needs to develop the desire to get something from you.
Begging will ruin your health
If you’re begging your ex to come back, you need to stop. You must realize that begging and pleading is not going to work and that you’ll ruin your health and well-being in the process.
Begging and pleading likely won’t kill you, but it will greatly affect your self-esteem and trust in people. So before you let it get that far, seek professional help if you need to and solve your internal conflicts.
You must understand that people beg exes because they’re hurt, not because their exes are the best human beings. If you understand that, you’ll focus on yourself rather than your ex and process the breakup quicker.
So keep in mind that begging your ex to be with you will have bad consequences on your body and mind.
Here’s an infographic explaining the effects of prolonged begging and pleading.
You’ll probably find it extremely challenging to stop begging and pull away from your ex at first, but try to gather your strength and do it anyway. You can start by following the infamous 30-day no contact rule and focus on yourself rather than your ex.
Focus on your recovery because that will help you detox and detach from your ex. No matter how hard no contact is. you need to convince yourself that reaching out first is meaningless and that it’s your ex’s turn to show interest and affection.
It can’t be the other way around anymore as it’s time to get your lost power back.
I begged with my ex back. Is it too late?
I can’t say whether you pushed your ex to the point of no return, but I can tell you that excessive begging and pleading tends not to end well.
That’s because exes have only so much patience before they get tired, irritated, and give up.
Your ex is currently in a very tired state. He or she can’t handle any obstructions and delays. Every time you exude desperation, you look more unattractive and make your ex want to run for the hills.
As a dumpee, your goal is to take care of your persona (the way your ex sees you). You have to keep it the way it was when you got dumped. Staying composed could help you achieve that goal as it could tell your ex you respect yourself and that you won’t beg anyone for attention.
Not even an ex who blindsided you.
A little bit of begging shouldn’t completely ruin your chances, but if you begged a lot, it may have annoyed your ex too much to respect you, become nostalgic, and crave the things you have to offer. For now, try not to worry about that. You need to focus on self-reflection and improving yourself.
Can I get my ex back after begging for months?
If you begged with your ex for months and showed no respect for yourself and your ex, things don’t look very good right now. Your ex would have to be an extremely understanding and emotionally mature person not to get offended by your actions.
He or she would have to understand breakups and respect you no matter what you say and do.
But most dumpers, unfortunately, aren’t like that. They get tired and annoyed very quickly—and tend to block their dumpee and move on to someone else.
The only thing that could bring your ex back after begging for months is your ex getting involved with a highly incompatible person and realizing that you were much better in comparison. That could trigger your ex’s anxiety and make him or her come running.
I strongly encourage you not to keep waiting for your ex that long. Try to detach rather than stay attached so you can get your happiness back regardless of whether your ex comes back or not.
Here’s a video with some tips you can follow whether you begged, blocked your ex, or made other post-breakup mistakes.
Did you beg and plead with your ex? How long did you beg for? Leave your comment below and ask us any questions you’d like.
And if you wish to discuss your begging on call or by email, sign up for a session here.
My name is Zan and I’m the founder of Magnet of Success. I enjoy writing realistic relationship and breakup articles and helping readers heal and grow. With more than 5 years of experience in the self-improvement, relationship, and breakup sphere, my goal is to provide advice that fosters positivity and success and avoids preventable mistakes and pain. Buy me a coffee, learn more about me, or get in touch today.
Hi, we broke up on september I begged and plea for 2 months, we broke up because I dont wanna to get Marry right away and she does have kids. We been togheter for 5 years. The best relation ship that she never add. She tell me is over, I went to No contact for 3 week and she reach me and talk to me, but I was too emotional and we was suppose to meet she agree with that. The beginning of october she block me. I show up at her place 2 weeks after, with out her consent, and she agree to talk to me in the car for 2 hours when she had someting plan, i was suprise. She told me to not contact her for 2 months. 4 days after she decide to call me and she say she want to be back with me, I was being to emotionnal….again.Wr was supposed to meet again, but being to emotionnal she cancel and say she dont want to do anything with me. Begining of november the 12, I text her to see her and the kids she reply its over between us, and i say can we talk, she say yes for sure, we talk for 1 hours and she told me i can come see her and the kids. She was starring at me the whole night, she dont want to kiss me a first, she avoid me many times, but at the end at seduce her and we end it up kissing each other…Since then that day, im in no contact zone. She told me that day she gonna write me when she gonna be heal, and she need time and space to think about it, what do your thing….. thank you
Wondering what you think about my situation. My ex and I dated for a year. after 3 months of dating I found out he was still engaging in processing his last relationships with his ex. She cheated on him and they were set to be engaged. As you can imagine I was crushed. This whole time presuming he was all about me and while there is no indication he cheated, he was still reaching out to her to inquire “why” she left him. “why did you do this to me?”. It was quite sad honestly to realize how much pain he was still in from that breakup…. I asked him in this moment if we could take time so he could heal. He insisted we work this out. So as one who is blind does, sticks around and ignores the red flags.
We dated for 8 months follwing this 3 month betrayal and of course I felt paranoid frequently, untrusting often, and just on edge. To make matters worse he is a cop, he is very quiet and often doesn’t share what is on his mind. I found myself constantly battling to get him to share what was going on. I grew impatient and became more and more combative.
White lies persisted and he would say it was becasue he was scared I would be upset. I’d bring up breaking up often as I couldn’t trust his words as they often didn’t match his actions. We were just in such toxic territory after a while. We had a huge blow out where I just asked him to leave and we haven’t spoken.
I reached out several times for my things, to inquire why things got so bad and of course to determine if this was fixable.
He will often say things like, look right now it was so toxic, right now I don’t think it will work as nothing has changed but I could see it working in the future.
I will contact him every 5 – 6 days to rehash (why? because I am clearly confused). This has been happening for about a month and a week. We saw eachother two weeks ago and he gave me my things and didn’t seem so upset. But as soon as I reached out outside of that moment he was back to being frustrated and upset with me. I asked how he could be so cold, he said “I don’t express myself like you or think about my emotions, I work, come home, go to the bar and repeat” – he essnetilaly has no desire to keep rehashing or discussing the breakup.
How pathetic do i Seem in his eyes?j Why do I even feel pathetic when in all honesty together it was sub par.
CONTINUED
I have asked several times if we could continue working on it together. He recently ended our last convo with saying he was annoyed he kept having to explain himself. He is tired of having to explain that he has a lot of self work to do, we were toxic, and right now is not the right time. He is tired of me reaching out.
He doesn’t want to block me and doesn’t want to say we won’t ever work gain because he says thats not true. I will say is it becasue you just don’t feel the same about me, and he is like of course I have feelings for you. Of course I loved you when we were together, I don’t hate you, but we just exploded at the end and the break up is what needed to be done.
Hi Samantha.
You have to leave your ex alone. He wasn’t honest about his feelings for his ex, so he needs more time to process them. While he’s away, you mustn’t appear needy and make him despise you. Instead, cut him off completely and focus on yourself. If he ever changes his mind about you, it will be after he’s healed and realized he was the one who caused the breakup.
Best regards,
Zan
Hello! I have been dating my boyfriend for two years and we have been friends for three years since the start of college. When we were in the relationship, he told me breaking up was a silly idea when I mentioned it (mistakenly) after an argument once. Things were good until we started arguing over silly things more often. He later broke up with me and said he has been thinking about it for a couple of months when I had no idea and was shocked. Since then, I have begged and pleaded the past two months to which he responded to for awhile and has now stopped, blocking me and unblocking me. I also showed up at his door at the end of the first month to try to talk but he refused. We also got in a drunken fight the first time we saw each other again post break up. Are my chances of reconciliation absolutely ruined? We used to love each other so much and I honestly still love him.
Hi Margo.
I can’t answer whether you’ve ruined the possibility of getting back together with your ex, but now that you’ve made some mistakes, you’ve got to go no contact. Don’t converse with your ex and focus on healing and getting over him. I know you don’t want to do that because you’re attached to him, but you need to if you want him to respect you. You need to do it if you want to respect yourself.
Kind regards,
Zan
Me and my ex were together for 3 years. We were love at first sight, spent every waking moment together. SO incredibly in love. He told me he was going to marry me everyday and we told each other nothing will ever come between us. I was incredibly close with his family and friends and we were basically inseparable. I was very young when I met him and he was quite a bit toxic.It ended up making me quite immature about a year into the relationship. We lived together and still planned an amazing future together. While I woke up at 5 am packed him lunch and breakfast for work and wrote him love notes etc, I resented him for things he did in the past.I never fully healed and realized I was self sabotaging. We broke up do to needing to work on ourselves and fix the immaturity and resentment. We agreed we wanted to be together again after some time apart. Heres the problem. Ever since the day we broke up for 2 months straight we texted each other we loved each other more than anything. Then one day he told me he needed me and missed me. I went kind of crazy and started being psycho because I just wanted to see him. I didn’t respect his boundaries and wait till he was ready. I just was so upset that he said he needed me yet he couldn’t see me. I ruined it. Its been 2 weeks since he said he loved me and he said he’s sorry but he’s done. His friends said he is not dating but talking to another girl now. Yet he texted me and asked if I deleted all our pics on instagram? I actually love him more than anything in the world. Do you think I will have another chance with him? I feel as if he needs to know hoe sorry I am. I never want to be immature or neglect to listen to him again. It took me 2 months to long, but I truly do realize it now. I want the chance at an adult happy healthy relationship. I know we can be happy its just getting him to give me another chance. Please help. I physically am dying inside and genuinely love him more than anything else. He is my person.
Hi Jay.
You not listening to his needs isn’t the biggest issue here. It’s that your ex needed space from you and thought that breaking up was the right thing to do. If you loved each other, you should have stayed together and learned to work together. There was no need to go separate ways.
Now that things unfolded this way, you must stay in indefinite no contact. Work on yourself, start getting over him, and wait for your ex to make the first move.
Sincerely,
Zan
I ruined my chances with him… He left me and said there was no chance he could ever love me again. When I asked for answers as to why it happened a week later, he said I’d been a drain on him and he was always picking up after me… I did my share of housework, always tried to be supportive and caring, he meant the world to me. He always told me things I bought for our flat were bad, or I didn’t put things away right… I didn’t seem to do anything to his approval, but I still tried to meet his needs. He kept being tired and stressed and overworked, in my opinion, but when I suggested he get help from a doctor, as he had been on anti depressants in the past and we’d just had a dinner date for him to come home and complain of hurting and being tired, he got offended and then dumped me… Him saying I made him feel like a carer and did nothing… It really broke me. I saw my future with him. I would have done anything to make him happy. We parted ways with me apologising for having made him unhappy, and then said I needed space. On his birthday not long after he thanked me for the gifts I told him to keep, asked how I was… I told him I was still really hurt and he ignored me. Skip to a couple more weeks, he messages to say that he’s had some mail redelivered to me… I told him to not message for something trivial, and blew up at him because I’m still really struggling and he could have told me something better than I’d been a drain on him and stuff. I told him I was getting referrals to suicide helplines because since coming home I’ve been a burden on my family… I told him I knew he was better off without me so leave me alone if you don’t love me anymore… despite him saying he hoped to stay friends… He eventually just blocked me and said he’s leaving for my own good. But I miss him so much it hurts. I don’t want to even try to love anymore, I’m not good enough… He initially love bombed me, getting me gifts, declaring his love for me on date 2 (we’d met online a couple months before and facetimed), I took a bit longer but I fell so in love with him. Once we moved to our joint flat it was always “why did you get that”, “that shouldn’t go there”, “I love you, but…”, “You’re smart but…”, I brushed it all aside… I just feel so unloveable, and like I can’t love anyone else
Hi Beth.
It looks like problems started when you moved in together. That’s when you got comfortable around each other and showed each other how you handle disagreements. This is why the breakup is a great opportunity for you to learn more about yourself. Improve your flaws and make sure to gain control over your emotions. You’ve got a lot to work on.
The breakup will take some time to fully process, but try to be patient with yourself. Understand that it takes time to detach and that you’ll make a full recovery. And when you do, you might even realize that you’ve put too much hope in your ex and not enough in yourself.
Hang in there, Beth!
Zan
Hmmm! I have begged my ex for so long such that it has become a vicious cycle. I feel bad after begging such that I beg him again for begging him before.
We lived together and I moved out last October 2020 even though he had been showing signs b4 then.
I have been dating this guy since 2013. We were classmates in college and he was my first boyfriend. I got pregnant in April 2020 and everything changed. I had to get my own place while I was 7months pregnant because he said he needed peace of mind. I had no family in the town so I was basically on my own.
My daughter is 7months old now and I still beg him. I just turned 31 and I’m really scared and lonely.
I pray he comes back cos I truly love him and I hope today is the last time I beg him.
Hi Jay.
I know you’re afraid, but you mustn’t beg your ex anymore. Begging is not only making reconciliation difficult but also hurting you. Every time you beg, you get hurt and become more attached to your ex. So find your strength and do your best to break this begging cycle. It has to stop so that you can recover and focus on people who matter.
Kind regards,
Zan
We dated for three years and engaged for nearly a year. When it was time to move things forward he came up with a story that his parents don’t consent to our marriage because his ex wife is from my maternal home. It broke me into pieces. I tried to understand but I couldn’t because I have no direct connection with the woman. I love this guy so deeply I already got addicted to having him in my life and coming through for me in countless ways. So initially I was taking it lightly until one day I became very angry wondering why he choose his parents opinions over what we shared. So I ended up writing him long hateful messages of how less of a man he is for not fighting for us, and how much a liar and cheat he was. I was so hard on him that I got blocked, I couldn’t take it. I started pleading and begging on emails. Then he unblocked me. I thanked him and since then I never said a word again to him and he hasn’t said any to me. But I’m owing him a large chunk of money. I feel guilty though he is not asking me yet. But the money is still somewhere I can’t just pull out right now to pay him back. I don’t know if that’s the reason he unblocked me. But am waiting for him to make the first contact. I love him so much and I can do anything to make things right. I feel so miserable right now.
Can anyone understand me?!.
Hi Sancho
I understand what you’re going through. Your ex didn’t want to fight for the relationship, so he either made an excuse or just let his parents have it their way. Whatever the case may be, he lost interest in the relationship and needs to be left alone.
Don’t call him, stalk him, or do anything crazy anymore. You need to focus on yourself and detach from him.
Only time will tell if he really wants to be with you.
Best regards,
Zan
I split with my ex about 3 months ago… over grief and depression.. between us both. I have begged and pleaded. For weeks. Gave him some space. Last week I was told something that he had done with another woman and reacted very badly to it. I love him So deeply. He now won’t talk.. and i dont think he can get passed it all . .. have I blown all my chances of us getting back together .
Hi Rosie.
I know it’s hard, but keep in mind that your ex needs space and won’t respect you if you don’t respect yourself. So start investing in yourself and stay busy as much as you can. Grab your friends and do something, anything that keeps you distracted.
It will take some time, but eventually, you’ll detach to the point where you can function without him.
Stay strong, Rosie!
Best regards,
Zan
thank you. 🙂 It has been 30 days and I have not contacted him. I will continue on this path. This time of no contact has made me realize that if he were to come back, it would only be with the agreement that it’s what’s best for us and with some renewed commitment to be better for one another. If he never comes back, then I will just have to accept it and give myself time so that I am ready to handle a relationship in the future. To anyone going through this, my heart is with you.
Hi Maria.
Rest assured that if your ex wants you back that he’ll message you and make plans with you. He’ll do everything in his power to give you love and receive it. That’s why you must stay in no contact and let him decide what’s best for him. You should take control of the situation only once he’s back and ready to work on the relationship.
Best,
Zan
My wife and I have been together for over 25 years. In February of this year, she asked me to leave because I would not get help for my depression and anger issues. She asked me multiple times, I lied to her and told I was seeing someone, but it caught up with me. I was trying to fix this issue on my own. So for a while I left her alone, then we started to text each other. I was an emotional mess. We met for dinner, it went well, and we talked. But then I talked about coming back .
Well the next day I receive the worse email and phone message of my life, basically never to call me!. I attempted to find out what was up, so finally I told her ok, you have your space. Within a week she called me back and we began to talk again.
So this went on for a while, her brother and sister-in-law live in our downstairs condo and we live up. Well they are not happy with her that we were talking, so the next thing I get a no contact order again.
Well that lasted a few weeks when they left on vacation. Our conversation were going ok. I told her I was getting better, and that not this angry person you think I am. So I tried to discuss couples counseling and she agreed, but not yet. She was still working through some issues. Yep weeks ago we went away for the night to a nice hotel in Santa Monica, spent the night, and talked about a lot of issues. Next morning she left for our house on the beach to meet with her brother and sister-in-law to go to church. Well she told the that we were together for the weekend and that we are talking about reconciliation at some point. Well both of them exploded on her. Apparently, I am no longer welcome in my on home according to the both of them. So, Robin told me it was very icy between them the rest of the day and brother got in his RV and left.
Well, my wife’s sister-in-law talked and it seemed better she said. The rest of the week was fine until last Monday night. We were ordering beach wear for the grandkids vacation this week at our place. Robin told that her sister-in-law left to meet her brother in Texas. I asked if I could then come out Sunday a see the boys then because initially see wanted to but since the blow up she told me no. She again told me no, that she was afraid they would find out. I Gould her ok not a problem, I’m disappointed but I understand.
We the next morning I get a phone message from her telling me not to ever contact her and to leave her alone because I’m sick. We I attempted to call but she blocked my phone. I saw a text from Her to leave her brother alone and all of them alone! I emailed her want was going on. The she finally sends me and email about how she loves me and always will that my illness she can no longer handle and that our differences are just to far apart to rectify and she was filing for divorce.
Not one time have we ever done any counseling or attempted to fix our marriage. I have been attempting to get her since day one to go, but her brother has stopped her. So, we have been together 25 years and we are going to throw it all away for some difference of opinion, depression and anger issues I had with my self, but she still in love with me!
Hi Kevin.
There’s a lot of water under the bridge, so give your wife some time to process everything. While you’re separated, make sure to work on yourself, Kevin. Get your depression and anger issues under control and wait for her to message you. If she still likes you, she’ll be afraid, but she might want to give you another chance. But if not, then you’ll have to detach from her. 25 years is a long time, but when she blocks you and refuses to speak to you, you don’t have a choice but to give her the space she’s asked for.
Hang in there, Kevin!
Zan
I didn’t do what he wanted me to do and he got really annoyed and said he didn’t want to see me anymore. I blew up his phone begging for him to not let me go. I called him about 6 times and I am sure I left a long, sad message. I tried to just apology the next day by sending a text explaining how reprehensible my behavior was and that I was gong to respect his space but I am sure I got blocked. I have not contacted him since and am embarrassed, humiliated, and deeply sad since I wish he had at least picked up the phone once. I am leaving him alone but wish he valued me enough to fight for us as readily as I was willing to fight for us. I am so sad but trying to stay busy and remind myself of how little effort he gave to us and that maybe it was never a healthy relationship to begin with.
Hi Maria.
Your ex can’t fight for you now that the relationship has ended. He fought while he was still with you. Keep in mind that his mentality and perceptions of you have changed since then and that you have to give him the space he’s asked for. I know it’s hard, but you have to respect yourself as well as him.
Best regards,
Zan
Thank you for taking out time to write to us. Your article is a blessing to me. Glad I found it. I hope to make do with the advises .
I’m happy to help, Olatunde! Best of luck!
Zan
I moved out after a couple weeks. We tried to be friends but of course that’s not what i wanted. I pushed her away and then sent multiple texts all in one day. That was about 6 weeks past the fight night. Now I’m trying to start no contact. It’s been about 4 days of no contact at all. But she often needs favors. Do i do them?
3 months of begging and pleading
He left but then he contacted every daz, saying he hoped for a sign I could change. Then I did not answer to some calls, because he dated other women to try to move on. He told me he dated 3 girls, but they were not like me. When I did not answered, he got angry saying: ok, I will leave you alone.
Then I started to want him back, texting and writing long e mails. Because he dated a new one, I wrote very bad e mail about his morality etc. Around 4-6 email per day or every other day, maybe 7-10 days.
Ugly stuff .))
I know these e mails made him become more convinced that his decision was right.
My last e mail was 2 daya ago. I won t write anything anymore, that was all I had to say.
But I know he found a new girl which seems right for him. He told me she was everything he could dream. Very strange to be so harsh on me and tell me that, knowing I was suffering.
Now I will se if he ever contacts me again :))
If no, it was not love.
I recently broke up with my ex, bout 3 weeks ago, we lived together, had pets, and I was considering asking if she wanted to start a family together. While I am fully aware of my flaws now in our relationship, I did beg for a couple times, and I’m worried that might have ruined my chances to be with her again. Also the 30 day no contact rule is really difficult to keep to when living together, I’m currently stopping at my moms house now, but having to text sometimes to sort logistics of my things is tough when trying to stick to 30 day contact rule, what is something I can do right now to help this situation please?
I was the one who moved out, I wasn’t too loving , and pulled away , because I have ED, was afraid to move forward with her and let her down, and their was alot of drama going on around us, issues with her son, so I moved because she was sleeping g on couch and and dressing in the bathroom, saying I made her feel unwanted, so I finally moved , within 6 months I wanted to try and make things work, found out she was seeing someone, , then I started to beg and plead, I made a breakthrough on my own situation, and wanted to show all my love to her, she doesn’t believe , and now she’s in a relationship now, can I still get her back, after 2 and a half months of pleading, trying to let her know I really do love her and want to show it more?!?!
I begged for my ex back for 3 weeks after I was the one who told him to leave but changed my mind. The worst part is I’m 5 months pregnant and still have to deal with him.
I begged for a second chance by texting him non stop and sending long long messages. What shall I do now to recover from this situation??
We lived together and when he broke up with me I begged the whole week post break-up that I was still living with him. I also spoke to him over the phone twice when I moved back home and begged and pleaded then also, and then once over a text conversation which is when he blocked me off his phone. Then I sent him a couple messages on Snapchat when I found out he was talking to a new girl. I regret my behavior but my emotions definitely took over. I hope this didn’t completely ruin my chances at ever getting him back. He had already given up on me and the relationship when he left me and he was VERY set in his decision and he seems to be happy without me. 🙁