If your ex broke up with you and you’re wondering how to make him regret losing you, know that playing mind games and jealousy tricks won’t ever work.
It won’t work because manipulation tactics only hurt the person you’re trying to impress.
So technically, nasty tricks have the opposite of the desired effect.
They show your ex that you lack integrity and consequently, the strength to control your impulses.
In simpler terms, hurting your ex, lying about your new life, and showing your ex that you care about him more than you care about yourself is never going to make him regret losing you.
All it’s going to do is confirm that dumping you was a good decision and that he would do it sooner had you exhibited underhanded tactics throughout the relationship.
So if you’re eager to know how to make him regret losing you the right and the only way, this article will provide you with some authentic tips.
How to make him regret losing you?
Whether you’re the dumpee or the dumper, the best way to make your ex regret losing you is to find your own happiness in life.
Finding your happiness includes increasing your emotional and physical well-being, confidence, and self-esteem, enjoying life as much as you can, and finding your purpose.
These are the most attractive traits and strengths a person can have. They determine how happy you are—and consequently, how happy others are with you.
That’s because having your life figured out and enjoying it to your best capacity is what people secretly admire about you.
They may not tell you directly, but they definitely enjoy your presence and the positivity that you exude.
As for the people who don’t like you being happy or perhaps even resent you, they usually feel that way because they’re envious and jealous.
Their insecurities make them crave that which they don’t have, so they intentionally try to devalue you to appear better than you.
It goes without saying that such people will try their hardest to take your happiness away for their own selfish reasons.
So if your ex is one of those people who directly or indirectly feeds on your unhappiness, it may be in your best interest to take your ex’s power away by staying far away from him.
Stay in indefinite no contact so that your ex’s cold and ruthless behavior doesn’t bring you down.
By protecting yourself, you will be able to focus on your own success and perhaps even make your ex regret leaving you.
Here are a few tips you should follow to make a guy regret losing you.
Become a success
If there’s anything that dumpers hate, it’s when dumpees become a magnet for success (no pun intended).
When dumpees improve as people and progress in life, dumpers notice that they’d let go of someone successful.
They realize that their time with their ex-partner wasn’t that bad and that they are now missing out on the happiness that the dumpee has created for herself.
As a result of envy and jealousy—dumpers soon regret leaving their partner and wish that their life hadn’t taken a turn for the worse.
That’s when sentimentality gets the best of them, so they try to get a piece of the pie that dumpees had spent months or years working on.
To those dumpees, their ex crawling back is, therefore, a big slap to the face as it shows that their ex wants them for their happiness and the life they’d created for themselves.
This is something dumpees often realize, so they blatantly reject their dumpers and send them on their way.
So if you want to make your ex regret leaving you, memorize the following line. I believe it’s the best definition of what a successful person is.
A success is anyone who is realizing a worthy predetermined goal, because that’s what he or she decided to do … deliberately. But only one out of twenty does that.
Earl nightingale
You can’t always make your ex regret dumping you!
If you’re trying to learn how to make your ex regret leaving you, please note that depending on your ex’s maturity and self-awareness, you could make your ex respect you, like you, or hate you.
Nobody knows how your ex will feel and react when you get your life in order.
We do, however, know that if your ex is ever going to regret breaking up with you, it’s after you’ve fixed the issues that caused the breakup, improved your shortcomings, and spiced up your life.
So whether you want your ex back or move on without him, make sure you start working on becoming the best version of yourself right after the breakup.
In doing so, you will avoid making post-breakup mistakes and consequently, appear as desirable as you can be.
Here are 4 legit ways to make him regret losing you after he broke up with you.
1)Enjoy your job
You can make your ex regret losing you by boosting your happiness and finding purpose in the job that you get up for every morning.
It doesn’t matter if you’re an accountant, a teacher, a salesperson, or a doctor.
The only thing that matters is that you do your job with the utmost care, love, and passion.
It’s important for you to find joy at work or you could stay miserable for a very long time.
Possibly until the day that you retire.
So do it for yourself as it’s the least you deserve.
But if you can’t enjoy work because you don’t find your job rewarding, consider changing jobs or going back to school as it’s never too late to be happy.
Just do something/anything that gives your career meaning.
Please know that there are no unimportant jobs.
All jobs are important whether they earn a lot of money or barely enough for us to scrape through each month.
The main difference between various jobs is that some jobs complete us and give us purpose while others don’t satisfy our wants and make us bored.
Some jobs feel like a grind – and give us the impression that they will never end.
More compelling jobs, on the other hand, fascinate us and perhaps even entertain us. They make us feel as if time is moving at 30x the normal speed.
And that’s because we enjoy the work that we do. We constantly look forward to the next thing and before we know it, it’s time to go home.
This means that our passion, attitude, and care toward the job and others determines how happy we are at work.
And when we’re content and satisfied at work, chances are we’re going to be happy and relaxed at home too.
How is finding passion at work going to make your ex regret losing you?
It won’t directly make your ex regret losing you, but it will nonetheless set you up for something your ex will have a hard time matching himself or with anyone else.
When you do your job with heart and soul, you essentially dedicate a huge portion of your time to that job.
You work hard to contribute to someone else’s life, and you do it because you genuinely want to do it.
It’s the kind of selflessness that a mature human will respect, regardless of gender.
He or she will see that your job is not just about you and the money, but that it’s actually about serving others.
So when your ex realizes this, your ex will likely respect you for your contribution to the world and the happiness that you’d created for yourself.
And as you’ve probably heard before, happiness is contagious.
So how do you make your ex notice your passion at work?
You don’t necessarily have to do anything that shows your eagerness to enrichen the world.
All you need to do is be patient and continue helping others.
Your ex will likely hear about your renewed enthusiasm without you even knowing about it.
So just keep doing what you’re doing without any expectations of your ex.
2)Live life with purpose
If you’re still hoping to come across some magic trick on how to make your ex regret breaking up with you, you’re wasting your time.
There is no such thing as sending your ex a sneaky message or bragging to your friends about how great you’re doing.
Making your ex regret leaving you doesn’t work that way.
What does work, however, is focusing all of your attention on yourself and your new post-breakup life.
This implies that getting back together with your ex the right way has nothing to do with your ex.
It’s got everything to do with you.
That’s why you need to realize that your ex left you because you (excuse my crudeness) weren’t living up to his expectations.
For whatever reason, you weren’t meeting your ex’s needs, so you now need to show your ex that you can make him happy.
There’s no better way to do this than to indirectly show your ex that you’re capable of taking care of your own needs.
And that’s because looking after yourself is attractive.
It exudes confidence and high self-esteem.
So stay consistent and surround yourself with positivity. It could help a mature ex realize that you’re capable of taking care of his needs too.
Your ex just needs to become receptive first—and notice your positive changes.
You can’t lose by focusing on you
Your ex initially fell for you because you appeared happy and complete as a person.
You felt perfectly fine being on your own, so you were technically as attractive as you get.
This time though, you’re at a disadvantage.
Your ex likely views you in a negative way, so changing your ex’s perception of you could take a very long time.
Nobody knows how long (if ever) because every person is different.
But provided your ex understands his feelings, you may be able to once again influence your ex after he’s let go of the pain and the negative associations toward you.
You can slowly change your ex’s opinion of you by gradually—one day at a time work on pushing your ex’s old negative perception of you out of his head.
And as you do, replace it with the new and improved you and make your ex focus solely on the present.
But once again, you mustn’t try to jump the gun and focus on your ex right now. Not if you’re still in the early stages of no contact or if your ex is dating someone else.
You need to understand that your ex is not a part of your self-improvement post-breakup plan.
Your relationship went from 2 to 1, so act that way for now.
Go back out there and find something other than your ex to live for.
What are the hobbies that you do and who are the people that you enjoy spending time with?
Discover what you need to do for yourself and figure out how you’re going to do it.
Re-examine your life, your passion, your goals, and ambitions and do it with such enthusiasm that you will once again start enjoying life without your ex in it.
This is your time to shine.
3)Get over your ex
You won’t make your ex regret leaving you if you don’t get over your ex.
As long as you still pine over your ex and need him to feel content, you, unfortunately, don’t possess the power to influence your ex.
When your focus is still on the person who “completes you,” you inadvertently crave your ex’s attention and remain dependable.
You demand the attention from an ex who no longer loves you.
And that’s why you must now exhibit quite the opposite.
You must indirectly tell your ex that you’re okay with being single or with someone else and immediately start getting over your ex.
It could take you half a year or more to get over your ex completely, but don’t give up just because the process takes a long time.
Continue fighting one of the worst predicaments a person can go through and you will eventually detach from your ex.
Remember that all breakups are difficult. They are so ridiculously hard for people of all ages.
But only the dumpees who stay true to the indefinite no contact rule and self-prioritize can eventually reattract and reconnect with an ex.
Sometimes couples get back together after years and completely forget about each other’s negative traits and characteristics.
Such couples have the highest probability of staying together.
And the reason for that is that the time apart helps them turn into the people they needed to be years ago.
You must, therefore, also make use of your time and get over your ex so that you can focus on that which really matters – you.
It’s an absolute must for you to fix your shortcomings during your time apart so that your relationship may get a second chance.
Although your ex could forget about some not so good parts of your personality months after the breakup when nostalgia kicks in, he likely won’t see you differently unless he notices that the new good outweighs the bad from the past by a ton.
So put your focus on you and indirectly show your ex that you no longer need him to live life contentedly.
Show him that you have the ability to be strong despite the unbelievable difficulties of the breakup and that you can find your own happiness without the help of your ex.
Strength and confidence are what you’re going for.
Forget about your ex
To make your ex regret leaving you, you must forget about your ex.
You must demonstrate that your life doesn’t revolve around him and that you can have as much if not more fun without him.
And you can do this only when you’re over your ex.
You don’t necessarily have to say anything to your ex to show him you’re over him.
All you have to do is leave him alone for long enough for him to come to the realization on his own.
When he does, he will realize you no longer have any expectations of him and might even feel slightly intrigued by your strength.
From that point on, his respect for you could start to grow—as well as his magnetic attraction toward you.
And when he feels pulled toward you, all he needs is something or someone to push him toward you once and for all.
This can be anything from a breakup, argument in a new relationship, difficulties with health, etc.
So make sure you appear as reliable as you possibly can so that your ex may want to be a part of the team again.
4)Become the best version of yourself
If there’s anything that could make your ex regret losing you, it’s when you become the person your ex always wanted you to be.
When you become a person of high value, you can without reasoning, crying, begging, and pleading show to your ex that you have the potential to be a reliable partner.
So start changing your post-breakup persona by identifying your shortcomings and contributing to a greater good.
If you’re lucky, you may be able to eventually make your ex realize that he missed out on someone noteworthy.
You’ll do so with the law of attraction.
Do you want to make him regret losing you? How do you plan to do that? Leave your comment below this post.
My name is Zan and I’m the founder of Magnet of Success. I enjoy writing realistic relationship and breakup articles and helping readers heal and grow. With more than 5 years of experience in the self-improvement, relationship, and breakup sphere, my goal is to provide advice that fosters positivity and success and avoids preventable mistakes and pain. Buy me a coffee, learn more about me, or get in touch today.
After being dumped and then accepting his offer of a “friendship” in a heartbroken fog and in hopes that he would eventually change his mind and realize he didn’t want the relationship to end. We remained in contact for months until he stopped initiating contact altogether (but reply only when I reached out) it felt like he began ghosting me indicating he had alot going on in his life and hence the silence. I went into no contact for 21 days now. Not even a Merry Christmas 🙁 Does he have the capacity to regret losing me at this point? Is all lost?
Hello, Zan.
My ex boyfriend broke up with me last year because I was going through a rough time (no job, away from family and friends) and had started complaining a lot, and acting negative and needy. I insisted we try it again and we did but because it was my idea and not in his heart, he broke it off and said he just wasn’t feeling it anymore. I moved to a different city this year and didn’t contact him during 4 months until he reached out again. But, I had started dating someone else and told him that I couldn’t communicate with him out of respect to my new partner. He respected my decision. Things didn’t work out with the other guy and, later on, I contacted my ex and let him know I was no longer dating. We rekindled our friendship and he sent me a message saying how he’d been missing me and been sad that things didn’t work out between him and I but that he knew he wasn’t the man that is supposed to marry me. I told him I was thinking about moving back to his city in a couple months and he told me that that’s okay but that there would be some ground rules set that we cannot talk about “us”. He said we can talk and hang out but that I need to understand that we will only be friends. He says he doesn’t want me to move back with hopes of getting back together and getting hurt because of my hopes and expectations. I (stupidly) accepted to not mention us anymore but my heart is aching on a daily basis. I want to know if he’s willing to give us another chance in the future. He started texting me and sending me pictures and videos of what he’s been up to but now he’s stopped and when I message him (not often) he reads my messages but doesn’t respond until hours/days later, if even. I don’t know what to do. Should I not initiate contact until he decides to reach out or should I tell him to only reach out if he decides he wants to be with me? I haven’t acted desperate but, deep down inside, I’m scared that I lost him forever.
Any advice?
Don’t initiate contact anymore. If he ever reaches out to you again, tell him that you’ve changed your mind, that being “just friends” doesn’t work for you and wish him the best. Don’t tell him to reach out if he decides he wants to be with you. Don’t give your power away. He knows how to reach you and if he wants you, he will. Good luck, Mia and stay strong.
Hi Mia.
I suggest that you don’t contact him anymore and focus on healing. You’re not over him, so as your ex suspects, you will expect him to invest in you.
That’s why you need to get over him first before you consider accepting his friendship.
Do it for your own safety as your ex isn’t coming back right now.
Best,
Zan
Oh I would love to have him regret dumping me. I feel “petty” for admitting it, but it’s the truth.
(I also will admit that the stage I’m at — 3 months post-dump, but only 73 days NC, and nowhere near ready to date anybody new — is that I still would be likely reunite with him if he had a change of heart, so… Hm. I am Definitely not out of the woods yet.)
But the strongest probability is that I will most likely never know if he has regrets. Maybe that’s as it should be?
We have no mutual friends, our paths are very unlikely ever to cross by coincidence, and he does not participate in social media of any kind.
If we can’t be together then I want him to have regrets, but I don’t want that as much as I want to be my Better Self again.
In a weird way, I am Grateful that I must do the exercise of forgetting him and being stronger/happy no matter what, with no “reward” of his regret. Does that make any sense?
Because It forces me to keep a pure motivation for improving myself as a goal In Itself, with little to no expectation of any knowledge as to his feelings.
As I have previously mentioned on your awesome site, Zan, I know first-hand what it’s like to have Dumper Ex’s come back and want to reunite — Years after the fact.
With prior heartbreaks, I had been stronger and went NC immediately/infinitely. And in the cases where they could see that I was doing well via their checking social media, talking with mutual friends etc., they circled back like boomerangs. Funny how that works..
However it never failed to astonish me that I:
1. turned down the reunions, and
2. took minimal satisfaction in seeing their regrets.
I really had loved them.
..But they had rejected me, cruelly and in one case very dishonestly, and Time had passed. Years of Time. I had not only accepted the breakups but as you have pointed out: no longer trusted them, had outgrown them, was in a new relationship, or reason x,y,z.
So, it’s funny to discover how Little it matters if an Ex waits long enough for you to heal and move on.
Then they finally show regret — the thing you thought you would Love to have at least as a consolation prize — and ultimately it doesn’t matter because you’ve moved on to a place of detachment!
Gotta admit, that’s a hard thing to imagine right now, with this current Heartbreak – my arrival at a future place of detachment?!. This is far and away the most difficult one ever. Makes the previous ones look like child’s play. All the more reason to be so glad I found your website.
(Also, given that there is a strong possibility that the most recent Ex either Doesn’t regret dumping me, or he’s such a stubborn old thing he would never admit it anyway… well, maybe it’s just as well I’m not waiting around hoping for the “reward” that never comes.)
A thousand Thanks, Always, for the great work you do for people. Much appreciation Zan. You do such a Great Service to those in pain who are seeking clear understanding and positive actions to take!
Hi Ava.
Detachment is a strong place to be in. The thing about it is that you will usually make good decisions when emotions aren’t getting in your way.
You will be able to reject your ex for knowing he isn’t your ideal partner. You also won’t seek revenge or validation. You’ll just do what’s best for you.
That’s why I encourage all dumpees to let go of their ex. Only when they’re over their broken relationship will they know whether reconciling is even worth it.
I know you’d made the right decision when you rejected your exes.
Kind regards,
Zan
That is so reassuring, thank you Zan.
I think many dumpees get accused of being fickle when their ex finally comes back and they have moved on. In one case I even had family members suggesting that I should take him back since I’m older now my prospects are dwindling.
This Ex even tried to throw in my face texts from two years prior when I told them how much I loved him and thought we were great together Etc.
This is a person who had told me he was divorced but in fact Wasn’t, a man who rejected me after 10 months to try to reconcile with his wife — who ultimately rejected him (yep. karma).
So, your reassurance is most welcome and I think it’s important to let dumpees know that there is nothing wrong, and everything right, with turning down reunions.
Furthermore, what a joke to be Guilt-tripped/accused of being disloyal by someone who had the nerve to lie to and dump a person in the first place?
It’s as if they expect us to be in suspended animation on the back shelf somewhere until they decide to pick us up again. Hilarious.
Your feedback that I was right not to reunite is Meaningful to me. Thanks yet again.
Hi again, Ava.
Your relationship with the ex who tried to reunite with his wife would never have worked. He’d come back for the wrong reasons and leave the moment his wife gave him more attention.
Or perhaps he’d meet someone else and leave you behind once more. Your ex would basically yearn the intimacy that he can’t get anymore and fail to bond with you.
This is the main reason why I’m very reluctant about reconciliations. I know that if a person leaves once, he or she can leave again. Only the second time, he or she can do it much easier.
Best,
Zan
OH wow. thank you Zan!
That has not occurred to me (that if he left once, he would be more likely to leave again. I don’t know why i haven’t considered that, but it does make sense I guess)!
Have you seen this happen?
I am Still NC, and the pain is duller now.
And your website is still here!
All will be well.
Thanks. So much.
Sincerely.
Hi Ava.
I’ve seen way too many couples break up quickly after reconciliation. Dumpers often don’t develop love and respect for their dumpee again.
Thank you for reading!
Zan
This has been an awesome exchange you two ♥ I’ll read it again and again.
It was very difficult to get through my thick skull all that you mentioned here for a long time – and yet part of me longs for her return as unlikely as that may be.
I see now there is a bigger picture here han the pocket size one in my head.
Beautiful pearls of wisdom – thank you!
Hi Ava,
I feel like we are both in the same place right now.
It does make sense about your gratefulness for having to improve yourself regardless of his actions/thoughts. It does make us stronger and better, it refines us.
Having been through similar situations before, my brain knows it should get better. I’ve made progress and I have times where I think he did me a favor by dumping me but my heart resists like hell some days. It’s difficult to picture reaching detachment like all the others in the past. He wasn’t even that good to me. In fact, on paper, he sounds like a crap partner. Oh how I look forward to the day of complete detachment!
Hey Carly,
Thanks so much for your comment and for sure it is meaningful to know someone else who is in that same place: sticking to NC, being strong and working toward detachment .. But still, the Heart is not quite on board. Yep.
There’s a quote that I remember from a novel by Bryce Courtenay, “Power of One.” A boxing coach tells a fighter: “First with the Head and then with the Heart..” This is difficult for us to accept because Love is , well , about our Heart!
But, we have to use our heads too, and so, here we are.
Glad you chimed in.
Stay strong, and Thank you.
Sincerely,
Ava
How does one know that they’ve overcome their shortcomings? My ex complained about my angry outbursts and I’ve read and listened to many books on anger management and empathy as well as good communication. I’ve identified that due to my less than desirable childhood I have insecurities and the root of anger is fear and insecurity. I’m developing a lot of skills and I’ve noticed my negative self-talk is much less. I’ve definitely replayed all the regretful memories in my head thousands of times and I know you say that alone will rewire things. Without being in a relationship at the moment it’s hard to know how I’ll deal with triggering events in the future. I do practice as much as I can when I’m in traffic etc. Do you think after six months there could be a lot of permanent change?
My most recent book was “No More Mr. Nice Guy” and I fit the profile closely but not completely. Part of the Mr Nice Guy personality is doing “nice” things manipulatively to receive something in return without your partner being aware of it, and stems from a feeling of not having intrinsic value. This can lead to resentment and explosive anger which is definitely something I’m prone to. I’m like nice most of the time and then I’d erupt and then go back to my baseline. I’m going to make a conscious effort to be direct about what I want and setting boundaries and stop seeking female approval and validation by doing so much for female partners. I’ve also joined a men’s masculinity group as the book pointed out that guys like me seek female validation due to our childhoods which is definitely true of me. Instead he recommends connecting with men so that’s what I’m doing.
I’m finally feeling back to normal. I still think about her every day, but there isn’t much emotion attached to it anymore and the thought of her with another guy doesn’t elicit much emotion either. Intellectually I accept that she didn’t want me so there’s no point wasting energy thinking about getting her back. If she does reach out I’ll definitely be open to meeting up and seeing where it goes. I agree with you that more time apart is better. I’m currently at 7 months since the breakup and 4 months since she moved out.
So what do you think my prospects are for long term change? I hope I’ve changed a lot of negative behaviours but it’ll be hard to know until I get back into a relationship.
Thanks for your blog Zan. It’s been very helpful to me.
Read the book atomic attraction
I’m not interested in Christopher Canwell. Don’t really care for him as a “coach”
I just picked up The Rational Male. That’s the next book on my list.
Thank you for the recommendations guys.
Hi Trevor.
You probably won’t know you’re any different until you give your shortcomings from the past another go. When you enter another relationship and put your skills to the test after the honeymoon stage, you’ll know exactly how far you’ve come. You’ll identify your triggers and hopefully think about them before you act on impulse.
But even if you’ve improved a lot months or years later, don’t stop working on yourself. Continue making improvements for the rest of your life and you’ll truly stand out from the rest.
Kind regards,
Zan
Trevor, I’ve got the same problem. I burst a lot and I know that I didnt communicate my needs nor I set strong boundaries and he Walked all over me. Could you recommend those books that helped you overcome your Anger, I know behind minę there is fear, anxiety and sadness.