What He Thinks When You Don’t Contact Him Back?

What he thinks when you don’t contact him back depends on the status of your relationship with the guy. If you’re dating him, not responding likely gives him anxiety and makes him wonder where you’re at and what you’re doing. It makes him worry about you and causes him to be afraid of losing you.

If you’re friends, he probably gets hurt and then turns that pain into anger and annoyance. He thinks he’s better off without a friend who doesn’t contact him back.

And if he’s your ex, then he probably gets slightly annoyed, disappointed, or completely unaffected. A guy who broke up with you has no or very few expectations of you. He doesn’t care much about whether you respond or not. He can get over it quickly because he’s not in love with you and has no plans for you.

As for what he thinks when you don’t contact him back after he’s reached out, he thinks you’re either hurt or bitter. He assumes you’re not emotionally ready to talk and be friends yet because you’re still processing the breakup and need more time to respond to him.

Every guy acts slightly differently after the breakup. But generally, most guys reach out after some time to be friends, friends with benefits, or acquaintances. If you can’t figure out why your ex is reaching out to you, read this article. It will help you understand dumpers’ reasons for breadcrumbing.

Anyway, ignoring people usually hurts them. But how much it hurts them strongly depends on how close they are to you and what they expect out of their relationship with you. If they just want to make small talk once every few weeks, they don’t get very affected by your actions or inactions because the bond they have with you is weak. But if they talk to you every day and expect you to reply and show them respect, then not responding hurts them.

It tells them you don’t care about them and that they must protect themselves from your lack of care and the pain you’ve caused them.

Today’s article is for people who wonder what he thinks when you don’t contact him back. We’ll focus on guys in relationships and guys who have broken up with their partners or got broken up with by them.

What he thinks when you don’t contact him back as his romantic partner?

There is no quick answer to what a person thinks when you don’t contact him back after he’s reached out. As I’ve mentioned earlier, his thoughts depend on his connection and intentions with you. If he loves you and wants to communicate with you, he may think that something’s wrong or that you’re playing games with him.

If you’ve just met him, it’s probably the latter. He knows that people can be intentionally flaky and distant because they don’t want to show too much interest too soon. They’re insecure, so they play push-pull games that confuse people and make them feel insignificant.

If you recently started dating him and you don’t contact him back, your behavior likely makes him doubt his interest in you. The longer you go without responding, the more interest he loses in you and the higher the chances that he’ll find someone else to date.

So if you like this person and want to date him, don’t pretend to be busier than you are. This is completely unnecessary because you’ll be playing mind games with the person you like or love. You’ll essentially be causing him anxiety, making him think he deserves better, and forcing him to question his place in your heart.

And that’s just not good because he could then do the same to you. It’s better to communicate with him when you’re free and find hobbies and friends to spend time with when you’re not. That way, you’ll actually be busy and have fewer reasons to delay your responses.

It’s normal to feel a bit insecure and unsure of where the new relationship is going. But not responding or delaying responses with the intention to make the guy chase you or think about you more is unhealthy and a waste of time. It’s manipulation that could backfire later when the relationship gets more serious.

I suppose his thinking varies depending on how far into the relationship you are.

If you’ve been dating him for years and you’re wondering what he thinks when you don’t contact him back, the guy already knows you as a person, so he’s either worried or annoyed. He’s annoyed if he thinks you’re doing it on purpose and worried if this behavior is new to him.

But if he doesn’t know you that well, then he’s probably worried about you, himself, and the relationship and wants to know what’s going on. He needs explanations because explanations would reassure him that you’re on the same path.

What he thinks when you don’t contact him back as the dumpee?

If your ex dumped you and you don’t contact him after he’s reached out, he thinks you might be angry, hurt, and not ready to speak with him yet. The lack of response tells him you’re still processing the breakup and that you’re not ready to be friends.

You need to understand that when you ignore your ex, he doesn’t get hurt unless he badly wants to keep you around and continue to hang out. But even if he gets hurt a bit, he doesn’t stay hurt for long. That’s because he has no romantic expectations of you and doesn’t think about you day and night. That’s probably something you do.

As an emotionally detached dumper, your ex can handle not hearing back from you. He can handle seeing you with other people and moving on without him. The guy is finally free, after all, and is excited to finally do the things he’d been meaning to do.

You mustn’t try to stop him or you could see him react in anger. You could bring a bad reaction out of him that hurts you deeply.

So if you’re wondering what he thinks when you don’t contact him back as a dumpee, know that he doesn’t think much. He may occasionally wonder why you’re acting cold and distant, but he doesn’t worry about when or if you’ll ever get back to him.

To worry about it, the guy would need to be nostalgic, sad, depressed, or regretful. He would need to respect you a lot, have a good connection with you, and want you in his life as his friend. Needless to say, you shouldn’t settle for friendship. If he’s sending you pointless texts, he should know he’s not welcome in your life as less than a romantic partner and that you’ve got better things and people to think about.

Some guys initially wonder why their ex won’t respond to them and even get upset with their ex. Sometimes (although rarely) they even play jealousy games. But such guys tend not to understand breakups and what their ex is going through. They think they’re entitled to a response from their ex, so it’s not surprising that they get offended and do something vengeful.

You don’t need to worry about the dumper’s interpretation of the lack of response too much because he knew what breaking up with you entailed. If he didn’t know and thought you would be friends, that’s his problem. He needs to learn a thing or two about breakups and understand that he can’t get the best of both worlds.

That said, if you still want your ex back, you should probably respond and tell your ex not to reach out. That will make you look mature (capable of dealing with difficult situations) and put you in a situation of power.

What he thinks when you don’t contact him back as the dumper?

If you left your ex and he reached out within months of the breakup, ignoring him has hurt your ex deeply. It most likely made him take the ignoring personally and hit his self-esteem. You need to be careful now that your ex is brokenhearted so that you don’t hurt your ex more than you already have by leaving him.

You need to understand that you don’t need to baby your ex. But you shouldn’t make things worse for him just because you don’t feel like responding and doing what your ex wants you to do. As the dumper, you should keep in mind that your ex is likely reaching out to you because he’s hurt. And what do people do when they’re hurt? They look for affection and validation from the person who has hurt them and can help them.

Your ex wants to know that you care about him and respect him. If you don’t respond, you’ll tell him that you don’t care about him even as a person and that you won’t respond no matter how much he’d like you to.

This could make him feel worthless and perhaps even cause him to experience suicidal thoughts. Maybe he’ll show up at your front door and try to win you back. There’s no telling what he’ll feel, say, and do if you don’t contact him back as the dumper.

But I can tell you that he’ll be very hurt and wonder if he deserved this kind of treatment from you. He’ll wonder if he ever even knew you and obsess about whether you’re dating someone else already.

If many months have gone by since the breakup, however, then he likely won’t get that hurt. He’ll probably just think you’re rude and incapable of communicating properly.

Again, if you don’t wish to communicate with your ex, you don’t need to. But you should at least tell your ex to reach out only in case of an emergency so that your ex doesn’t come to unhealthy and self-destructive conclusions.

Sometimes dumpers ask me, “Why should I care about what my ex thinks and feels anymore? I’m finally free.” The best thing I can ask such dumpees is why should they care about anyone at all. Why not just stop caring about people’s feelings altogether and start hurting them instead?

It’s the every man for himself mentality that hurts dumpees the most after the breakup and forces them to develop trust issues. Of course, dumpees have their own coping mechanisms and should tend to their own needs, but not everyone is strong enough to handle rejections and unhealthy behavior with ease.

We need to be mindful of the people we’ve hurt because we don’t know how they’re coping. Respect is the least they deserve from us.

The best thing to do is to respond and express what you want

If you respond to your ex when he reaches out to you, you won’t ignore your ex and later feel guilty about it. Deep inside, you’ll know that you did the right thing and that your ex will leave you alone because you’ve asked him to.

I know that telling your ex not to contact you can be difficult, but that doesn’t mean you should ignore your ex instead. Sometimes life needs us to make decisions that aren’t aligned with what our emotions tell us to do. Such situations require maturity, empathy, moral values, and the willpower to do the right thing.

If you have these things, you will respond to your ex when your ex contacts you. It doesn’t mean that you’ll keep talking to your ex for ages, but that you’ll take the time to see what your ex wants from you and then respond appropriately.

I encourage you to find out what your ex wants from you. He might urgently need to tell you something that concerns you, which means that ignoring your ex could be bad for both of you. You won’t know what your ex wants if you don’t respond, so consider responding when your ex contacts you.

Are you still wondering what he thinks when you don’t contact him back? What would you think and feel if your ex ignored you? Post your comment below the post.

However, if you’re looking for relationship or breakup coaching, check out our services here.

Zan

My name is Zan and I’m the founder of Magnet of Success. I enjoy writing realistic relationship and breakup articles and helping readers heal and grow. With more than 5 years of experience in the self-improvement, relationship, and breakup sphere, my goal is to provide advice that fosters positivity and success and avoids preventable mistakes and pain. Buy me a coffee, learn more about me, or get in touch today.