What Does It Mean When An Ex Wants To Catch Up

When an ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend wants to catch up with you, it means exactly what you think it means. Your ex wants to chat with you about non-relationship matters so that he or she can learn more about your new life.

We could say that your ex is inquiring about you and wants to satisfy his or her curiosity. Doing so would allow your ex to deal with any unprocessed breakup thoughts and emotions such as guilt and encourage your ex to move on with a clear conscience and an understanding of what you’re doing and going through.

Surprisingly, lots of dumpers want to catch up with their dumpees. They want to talk about all sorts of things such as how their ex is doing, what their ex is doing, and the place their ex moved into.

Some dumpers even ask if their ex is dating anyone new yet and if their ex is happy. Such dumpers don’t ask these questions because they want to get back together but because they’re curious and want to know how their ex has been coping with the breakup.

So when an ex wants to catch up, don’t immediately assume that your ex wants anything other than a friendly conversation. Your ex just wants to catch up, which means that your ex wants to talk for a little while before he or she goes back to focusing on himself or herself again.

An ex could want to catch up on lots of things.

But the things you can expect your ex to inquire about the most are:

• your health and happiness
• your loved ones’ health
• your pets
• your academic performance or work
• the place you’re staying at
• the people you hang out with
• your hobbies
• and anything that happened since the breakup

As long as you know that exes ask questions because they respect you and want to know more about you rather than because they still love you, you should be able to keep your hope for reconciliation low and avoid inviting your ex out.

If you take the liberty to invite your ex for a cup of coffee in hopes that your ex will fall back in love with you, you’ll create an opportunity for your ex to reject you and hurt you.

That will in turn make it extremely difficult for you to rebuild your self-esteem and rely on yourself for healing.

So once again, don’t think that catching up means getting back together. Catching up literally means catching up and then going separate ways.

Most dumpees inquire about their ex’s life when their ex leaves them alone and appears happy.

They get so curious about their ex that they contact their ex and ask all kinds of hope-giving questions that delay their ex’s healing.

In this post, we discuss what it means when an ex wants to catch up.

What does it mean when an ex wants to catch up

When your ex wants to catch up, it means that your ex has certain things he or she wants to talk about. Your ex could want to talk about your new life, kids, shared finances, mortgage, the way you feel, or simply to get rid of boredom or appease guilt.

You likely won’t know what your ex wants from you right away (or at all) because your ex will not tell you. He or she will talk about other things before finally asking you the things he or she wanted to ask all along.

That’s why you must figure out what your ex wants before you get your hopes up, start talking to your ex, and plan your way back into the relationship with your ex. You have to ask your ex why he or she reached out and determine if your ex’s reasons for reaching out are even about you.

You may think that they are because your ex is talking a lot, showing interest in your life, and asking questions about your health and well-being, but many times, inquisitive questions have a secret agenda.

They intend to obtain information that shows how you’re coping with the breakup.

By learning how you’re doing emotionally, your ex can forgive himself or herself for hurting you and/or treating you poorly.

You see, dumpers can be very sneaky after the breakup. They can give the impression that they genuinely care about your health and feelings when in reality, they just want to see that you don’t despise them and that it’s morally acceptable for them to move on and date someone else.

So keep in mind that not every dumper wants to catch up for reasons that concern you. From what I’ve seen, most dumpers reach out for selfish reasons that have nothing to do with you. It only seems that they’re reaching out for you because they suddenly appear receptive and interested in your life.

Don’t confuse that for love, though. They may care about your health, but they likely also get something out of it. Something they can only get from you.

Here’s what it means when an ex wants to catch up with you all of a sudden.

What to do when an ex wants to catch up?

The moment you learn that your ex wants to catch up, you need to convince yourself that your ex wants to catch up merely as friends. Your ex isn’t interested in romance or in talking to you to see if it’s possible to redevelop feelings and become a couple.

Dumpees tend not to understand this because they think their ex will slowly realize what he or she is missing out on. But the truth about reconciliations is that most of them happen instantly before dumpees even hear from their ex.

Dumpers redevelop feelings before they contact their ex and ask to get back together. That’s because they encounter painful eye-opening life lessons that make them need (not just want) their ex back. They need love and they need it immediately.

So don’t think that you need to catch up with your ex, keep talking to your ex, and wait for your ex to rediscover your worth to get back together with your ex. That likely won’t happen while you’re staying in touch unless your ex is dating someone else already and having a turbulent relationship with him or her.

Even if your ex is dating and the relationship isn’t going well, you don’t need to stick around your ex for him or her to encounter issues and break up.

You can safely stay in no contact and continue to detach and move on while letting your ex enjoy his or her space and privacy.

Rest assured that your ex will message or call you when he or she realizes your worth and decides to come back. You can be certain about that because your ex will be in pain, afraid of losing you, and feel extremely regretful and nostalgic.

That’s why it’s so important that you adhere to the rules of no contact and let your ex come to you. You need to do that regardless of what your ex’s gender is and how much you love your ex. If your ex isn’t apologizing and asking to be with you, you shouldn’t be communicating with your ex, period.

You should be improving yourself and learning how to get the most out of your breakup.

Your only job, therefore, is to heal and feel better. And you can do that by staying away from your ex and minding your own business. If you keep talking to your ex, chances are you’ll overwhelm your ex with expectations and demands and risk getting ignored, blocked, mistreated, or rejected.

So be prudent and avoid catching up with your ex for no reason. Nothing good will come of it. Nothing but problems and pain, which is the opposite of what you need.

What if my ex insists on catching up?

Whether your ex wants to catch up in person or over the phone, you need to put your health first and avoid speaking with your ex. You need to find a way to end the conversation quickly because every time your ex reaches out and talks to you about something, your ex risks resetting your emotional progress and making you obsessed with your ex.

That’s why you should tell your ex that you need more time to process things and that you’d appreciate it if he or she didn’t reach out anymore. By doing so, you’ll avoid breadcrumbs from your ex and continue to recover at the fastest rate possible.

Your ex might beg you to be friends or get angry with you for trying to push him or her away, but you mustn’t cave in to pressure. Befriending your ex is one of the worst mistakes you can make as it will get you stuck in the friend zone with your ex and prevent you from improving your self-esteem and regaining your self-respect.

So don’t worry about what your ex thinks, says, and does when you say you’re not interested in catching up. The only thing that matters is that you put yourself first and avoid saying something to directly hurt your ex.

Your ex will be able to get over it rather quickly because your ex is the dumper. Dumpees are the ones who usually consider “no” a rejection and get hurt by it.

The only time you should consider catching up with your ex is when you’re over your ex and can handle seeing your ex with someone else. That’s because you might discover all kinds of things while talking with your ex. And some of those things could wound you and destroy your emotional progress.

Now that you’re healing, you need to keep healing and wait for your ex to make the first move.

What if the person I left wants to catch up?

If your dumpee ex wants to catch up, you should first get to the bottom of your ex’s reasons for reaching out. Understanding your ex’s motives for communicating with you will help you make the right decision, which is to catch up with your ex or stay away from your ex and let your ex get over the breakup.

To know what your ex wants, determine whether your ex still has feelings and romantic expectations of you. Your ex might be reaching out to “catch up” when in reality, your ex wants to get back with you and feel loved by you. That will make it difficult if not impossible for you to be friends.

So try to figure out how your ex feels about you. Feelings will tell you whether you can agree to catch up with the person you left or if it’s better to keep your distance.

A good way to know if your ex is still in love with you is to observe how your ex speaks with you. If your ex expresses love-like emotions, eagerly asks you to meet up, and says you’re awesome for no apparent reason, your ex likely wants you to do the same so that your ex can feel validated by you.

In that case, you should refuse to catch up with your ex by saying you’d like the two of you to focus on yourselves rather than on each other. Your ex won’t like it, but it needs to be said so that your ex doesn’t get false hope and keep getting closer to you.

What do you think it means when an ex wants to catch up? Share your thoughts below the article.

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Zan

My name is Zan and I’m the founder of Magnet of Success. I enjoy writing realistic relationship and breakup articles and helping readers heal and grow. With more than 5 years of experience in the self-improvement, relationship, and breakup sphere, my goal is to provide advice that fosters positivity and success and avoids preventable mistakes and pain. Buy me a coffee, learn more about me, or get in touch today.