What Does It Mean If Your Ex Agrees To Meet You?

If your ex agrees to meet you, it means that your ex has thought through the breakup. Your ex has processed the worst breakup emotions and now thinks that meeting up with you is safe and okay to do.

This is because the willingness to meet up with you indicates that something has changed with your ex’s thoughts and perceptions and that your ex is interested in conversing/hanging out again.

Before you get hopeful about seeing your ex in person though, you need to know that the act of meeting up with an ex is usually a good sign only if the dumper is the one who invites the dumpee out.

If the dumper doesn’t put in any effort and merely agrees to meet up, it’s highly likely that the dumper won’t express the desire to reconcile.

He or she could meet up with the dumpee just to:

• be on good terms with the dumpee
• become friends
• and pass the time

Preferably, a friend zone is something you don’t want to get stuck in with your ex. You want to steer away from your ex and guarantee the quickest and safest route to recovery.

You can do that by following the rules of no contact and investing in parts of your life that need the most self-care.

So if you’re wondering what it means if your ex agrees to meet you, know that the meaning usually depends on whether you invited your ex or your ex invited you.

If your ex invited you out, your ex could be missing the good memories he or she had created with you and wants you back as a friend or a partner.

But if your ex agrees to meet you after you’ve done all the work, your ex probably wants to see if it’s possible to be on friendly terms with you.

In this post, we’ll talk about what it means if your ex agrees to meet you in person.

What does it mean if your ex agrees to meet you?

Many dumpers are over their exes and don’t want their exes back.

But just because they’re over their exes and feel happy doesn’t mean that they never want to speak to their exes again.

Sometimes, they still want to keep their exes in their lives in some capacity, become their friends, and get the most out of them. I know this sounds selfish (and it probably is), but most dumpers want the cake and eat it too.

They want to talk to their exes and enjoy the conversations, but they don’t want to commit and reciprocate their exes’ effort.

The moment they see their exes invest more time and energy than them, they realize they got too close to their exes and raise their defenses. They protect themselves from smothering emotions and run away from a situation too heavy for them to control.

So before you meet up with your ex, know that your ex hasn’t put the work in to be with you. Your ex probably just agreed to meet you because it’s been a while since he or she saw you and talked to you.

While it’s true that sometimes dumpers agree to meet up and get back together with their exes, it’s also true that such spontaneous dumpers oftentimes leave again. They don’t think about their wants and needs and their exes’ worth, so they take their exes for granted again and fall out of love again.

For your ex to appreciate you and love you for who you are, your ex must discern your worth and regret breaking up with you. He or she must undergo a process of self-reflection and identify you as a person of equal or higher value.

By inviting your ex to meet you before he or she does, you won’t let your ex realize your worth. You’ll just do your ex’s work and make it extremely easy for your ex to talk to you, meet up with you, or get back with you.

You have to understand that your ex doesn’t want it “easy.” Your ex secretly wants to work hard so that your ex can pour a lot of blood sweat, and tears into you and emotionally invest in you again.

Your job as a dumpee isn’t to encourage your ex to invest by asking, demanding, or manipulating your ex. Your job is to wait for your ex to find the motivation or the desperation to invest on his or her own.

With that said, here are 5 different reasons why your ex wants to meet you.

I invited my ex out and he/she agreed to meet me

If you’ve invited your ex out and your ex agreed, you can only “hope” that your ex has made the necessary emotional progress to process the breakup and disassociate pre-breakup associations from you.

You can hope that your ex has improved his or her relationship mentality, acknowledged your significance, and fallen back in love with you.

I say that you must hope because you don’t have any proof that your ex wants to meet you for the right reasons (to get back with you). It’s highly likely that your ex wants to meet you only because you came up with the idea to meet up.

Your ex could have thought that you’re over him or her and that you’re ready to be friends.

So be careful about meeting up with your ex on your terms the first time after the breakup. If your ex rejects you, tells you about seeing someone else, or sleeps with you for old times’ sake, you’ll probably feel used and abandoned.

You’ll feel that your ex is playing games with you—even though your ex had made it clear that you’re no longer a couple.

What to do if your ex agrees to meet you?

If you went to the trouble to invite your ex out, I suggest that you meet up with your ex. Choose a place that is populated with people and make sure not to overstay your welcome.

It’s important that you keep your expectations low at all times and avoid asking questions that you’re not ready to hear answers to.

Don’t ask things like:

• are you dating anyone?
• did you sleep with anyone?
• do you still love me?
• do you want to get back together?

Don’t compliment your ex for no reason either because your ex hasn’t done anything to earn the compliments. As far as you know, your ex is still the same person inside and hasn’t gained your trust back.

You can compliment your ex for his or her achievements, of course, but don’t sugar coat it or you’ll appear pretentious.

The meetup should be pressure-free, polite, and fun. There’s no room for pretentiousness, negativity, arguments, and unhealthy reminders of the past.

If your ex wants to reminisce about the past, that’s fine. You can talk about the good times and express your emotions. But don’t go down memory lane and say you haven’t been happy since the breakup.

That would tell your ex that you’re meeting up with him or her because you’re miserable.

If you want to leave a good impression on your ex, mention only the positive things you’re working on. Don’t brag about them. Just remain calm and let your personal improvements speak for themselves.

Oftentimes people ask me, “How will my ex know I’ve changed if I don’t directly tell my ex I’ve changed?” I always tell such dumpees that they don’t need to prove they’ve changed.

If they truly changed, dumpers will be able to detect acceptance, self-love, and a much different vibe coming from dumpees a mile away. They will see that something has changed and become curious about it.

That’s when they’ll ask about it.

Remember that during the meetup, your job isn’t to prove change. Your job is to stay strong and in control of your emotions. Everything else will fall in place on its own.

Including the reconciliation if your ex is ready for it.

How do I know my ex wants me back?

This is another super important topic that we must cover.

How can you know if your ex wants you back during the meetup? Will your ex give you signs that he/she wants you back or wait for you to make the first move?

When you meet up with your ex (on your terms), your ex most likely won’t ask you to get back together. If your ex didn’t ask you to get back together prior to the meetup, your ex likely won’t ask you in person either.

Your ex won’t need to because your ex won’t have any romantic feelings for you.

That’s why you don’t need to look out for signs that your ex loves you and wants you back. You just have to be on your best behavior and mind your own business until the moment your ex admits that he or she has made a mistake.

That’s when you should take action and take control of the reconciliation.

I know that waiting for your ex to make a move may seem manipulative at first, but you have to understand that you’re not playing a game with your ex. All you’re doing is protecting your feelings from getting hurt and at the same time, portraying yourself as the person that you are or want to be.

There’s nothing wrong with that.

If at any point during the meetup, your ex says that he or she wants you back though, then your ex will tell you what you want to hear. Your ex will own up to his or her mistakes and act how a person who’d made bad decisions in the past should behave.

A great way to tell that your ex will want you back during the meetup is if your ex appears extremely nervous and looks at you with puppy eyes. This is how you can tell that your ex is afraid of rejection and that he or she is mustering up the courage to ask you out.

Before your ex asks for another chance, your ex could ask you lots of direct and indirect questions related to your relationship status and interest in your ex. You can expect your ex to ask you, “Are you seeing anyone, what are your plans for tomorrow, do you want to come to my place” and see your ex staring at you, trying to read your thoughts and feelings.

It’s important that you answer all questions honestly and wait for your ex to ask for commitment.

That’s when you should start taking your power back and ask what’s changed since the breakup. Ask your ex why he or she wants you back all of a sudden and tell your ex that you’re curious to see if he or she is capable of growing and that you’re not going to jump headfirst into something uncertain.

This should convey that you respect yourself and that you want your ex to respect you as well.

The most important thing you’re looking for in an ex who wants you back is commitment. You want your ex to show you or tell you that he or she was able to grow from the breakup and that your ex is going to keep working on himself or herself if you get back together.

What does it mean if your ex meets you but doesn’t want you back?

When your ex meets up with you but doesn’t express the wish or the need to get back together, you need to understand that your ex didn’t meet up with you to work on the relationship.

Your ex met up with you out of boredom, sentimentality, or guilt and wanted to see if it’s possible to be cordial with you.

The best thing you can do in this situation is to stop meeting up with your ex. No more calling, texting, and stalking your ex and setting yourself back. You need to acknowledge your ex as a person who’s lost feelings for you and avoid false hope as if your life depends on it.

You’ve probably already noticed that your emotional well-being is extremely dependent on what your ex says and does. So don’t put your health into your ex’s hands and focus on healing and detachment.

It’s possible that your ex will want you back in the future (possibly after your ex has been with others), but the future is uncertain. It’s much more productive to focus on yourself and invest in people who want to be with you.

Did you learn what it means if your ex agrees to meet you in person? Have you met up with your ex before? How did it go for you? Publish your comment below.

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Zan

My name is Zan and I’m the founder of Magnet of Success. I enjoy writing realistic relationship and breakup articles and helping readers heal and grow. With more than 5 years of experience in the self-improvement, relationship, and breakup sphere, my goal is to provide advice that fosters positivity and success and avoids preventable mistakes and pain. Buy me a coffee, learn more about me, or get in touch today.