Updated on September 18, 2025
Most of the time, dumpers don’t have to pretend they’re over you because, to them, the breakup already signals that they are. They ended the relationship with the intention to be free, focus on themselves, and prioritize their own happiness and well-being.
They left to stop worrying and thinking about you—and regain control of their own life. Freedom and control are their top priorities, so it makes no sense to pretend they’re doing okay. If they were to pretend, they’d waste their precious post-breakup energy and time on things that don’t matter anymore.
Besides, the breakup empowers them and triggers a ton of relief, making it impossible for them not to be happy. Only dumpers who are forced to leave or feel depressed cry over their ex and sometimes hide their feelings. They do it because they know they must appear resolute and not give their ex any false hope or strange ideas.
They initiated the breakup, so in their mind, there’s no going back. Not as long as they’re convinced the breakup needed to happen and benefited them immensely.
Dumpees, on the other hand, struggle to put on an act. They’re deeply heartbroken and can’t keep their feelings hidden forever. Despite wanting to appear strong and detached, they often make a (breakup) mistake and reveal their feelings and expectations.
They don’t have to say they’re still in love with their ex. Their actions do it for them as they continue to interact with their ex and say or do things that demand attention, bonding, and validation.
If you’ve been dumped and you’re wondering whether your ex’s actions are genuine, there are certain signs that can reveal if your ex is only pretending to be over you. They may just be indications, but when several of them line up, it becomes much clearer that your ex isn’t as over the breakup as he or she claims or appears to be.
Sometimes, exes pretend to be doing well on their own or even with someone new, just to avoid hearing, “I told you so.” They’d rather keep up appearances than let their ex feel superior or rub the breakup in their face. This act often reveals more about their pride and unresolved feelings than about genuine happiness and disconnection.
It’s not very common for dumpers to fake their detachment and secretly crave their ex’s approval. But when it does happen, they usually reveal it through subtle signs.
That’s what we’ll talk about today. This article is dedicated to dumpees looking for signs their ex is pretending to be happy and over them.
1)Your ex can’t stop looking at you
If you notice your ex repeatedly gazing at you and then quickly looking away, it’s a strong indication that your ex still has feelings for you.
Eye contact aversion is an important non-verbal romantic gesture that signals interest, attention, and most importantly—respect. It shows that your ex is trying to interact with you and obtain your validation.
The reason why this sign is so important is that when your ex is truly pretending to be over you, he or she becomes obsessed and self-conscious. Your ex feels pulled toward you but doesn’t want to show it. Because your ex doesn’t want you to know the truth, your ex focuses too much on pretending, which makes his or her body language exaggerated and his/her reactions more noticeable.
As a result of unwavering anxiety, your ex succumbs to the pressure and begins to pretend to be over you. In other words, your overly self-conscious ex starts having trouble remaining calm and in control, so he or she acts out of character.
People rarely notice how they act when they’re relaxed and simply being themselves. The same goes for those who lie. Once they feel pressured by their own deception, they slip and send out artificial signals.
Signals that reveal they’re not truly over you and that you still affect them emotionally.
So if you have trouble identifying your ex’s true feelings or intentions due to a lack of communication, look at your ex’s eyes. The saying “the eyes speak a thousand words” isn’t just a cliché. It often reveals exactly what your ex is thinking and feeling.
2)Your ex is trying to prove that he or she is over you
The second sign your ex is merely pretending to be over you is when your ex goes the extra mile to prove how detached and happy he or she is.
The more your ex feels the need to brag and defend himself or herself, especially when others tease your ex, the stronger the sign that your ex is not entirely over you. An ex who’s over you won’t go around telling people that he or she is ultra happy with the breakup. Instead, he or she will stay quiet and simply enjoy newfound peace and freedom.
If your ex isn’t over you, your ex will, therefore, try to make it seem that he or she is. Your ex will do this by appearing angry or stressed while telling you or others that he or she is finally happy.
Don’t confuse this with happy social media posts. Many dumpers (as well as dumpees) post their new relationships or happiness online. Unlike dumpees, who often do it to attract attention, dumpers do this because they feel relieved and excited to move on. For your ex to convincingly pretend he or she is over you, your ex has to act unhappy, scared, or confused. He or she needs to show uncertainty and give the impression that life isn’t going according to plan.
Sometimes, dumpers go out of their way to show how “unaffected” they are by the breakup. In doing so, they often act so irrationally or emotionally that their friends and family quickly notice their erratic, unnatural behavior. They see that something’s up and that he or she is still processing the breakup.
My psychological theory is this: the more you focus on what you don’t want, the more you reveal what you actually do want. If you spend your time proving you don’t like, miss, or love your ex, you prove exactly the opposite, which is that you’re not over your ex and need more time.
3)Non-verbal giveaways
Exes who pretend to be over their ex-partner often give off clear non-verbal signals that are hard to miss. Our bodies naturally respond to the world around us, silently revealing our thoughts, desires, fears, and insecurities.
Here are five clear non-verbal signs that your ex is pretending to be over you.
There are countless non-verbal ways to tell if your ex is pretending to be over you. If you have the chance to see your ex in person, the signs above are the most obvious ones to watch for. Just ask your ex some questions and observe how he or she responds non-verbally. Words your ex can control, but emotions and knee-jerk reactions he or she can not.
Hence, it’s essential to consider any non-natural reaction a sign that your ex is not over you.
Just don’t mistake your ex’s unease or contempt for a sign that your ex is pretending to be over you. If your ex refuses to look you in the eyes, this is a sign of guilt, shame, and a wish to escape confrontation.
Other body language signs are awkward hugs, minimal or no physical contact, keeping his or her distance, turning his/her back to you, and generally avoiding you.
4)Trying to make you jealous
Usually, dumpees are the ones who want to make their ex jealous. They want to see that their ex still cares about them and wants to be with them.
Sometimes, they go above and beyond to show how much fun they’re having with other people and post their post-breakup happiness all over their social media. By doing so, they deliberately set traps for dumpers to get caught in.
Unfortunately for them, dumpers seldom fall for the jealousy trap. They don’t reach out and complain because they’re over their ex. Instead of reacting negatively like dumpees expect them to, they see that their ex is in pain and that he or she isn’t having as much fun as he or she is pretending to have.
Most dumpers get annoyed by their ex’s provocations. They think their ex is posting too much too quickly and believe that their ex should take the time to invest in him/herself rather than someone else.
Dumpers use many different approaches to spark jealousy in dumpees. Most of them are indirect and subtle, designed to get a reaction without openly showing their intentions.
Dumpers try to bring a reaction out of their ex by:
- posting pictures with their new partner
- showing off their new friends
- pointing out how unbelievably happy they are
- comparing their new partner to their ex
- dressing in revealing or attention-grabbing outfits
5)Stalking profusely
If you notice your ex frequently checking up on you on social media—especially without realizing that you know, you have one of the best signs your ex is pretending to be over you.
Social media stalking indicates that your ex is still curious about you and isn’t entirely over you yet. Romantically, your ex may be done, but there are other unprocessed emotions your ex needs to work through. Emotions like curiosity, guilt, shame, anger, or jealousy.
An ex pretending to be over you is going to, as the phrase says, pretend to be over you. Your ex is going to try to hide his or her feelings for you so that you, your ex’s friends, family, and anyone related to your ex doesn’t find out.
Since your ex still cares about you, your ex will inevitably give away subtle signs that he or she is only pretending to be over you. Paying attention to who you spend time with, where you go in your free time, and how you’re coping after the breakup are just a few clues that reveal your ex is not really over you.
Whatever you do, don’t mistake an ex blocking you or ignoring you as one of the signs that your ex is pretending to be over you. A person who blocks you and ignores you does these things out of spite and self-protection, not because of love and desire to reconnect romantically. Romantic cravings urge exes to communicate, learn more about each other, and secure exclusivity.
6)Refusing to give you your stuff back
Another possible sign that your ex is just pretending to be over you is when your ex refuses to give you your stuff back. There are only 2 possible reasons why an ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend would do that:
- Due to fear of confrontation, anger, or bitterness.
- Because your ex is pretending to be over you and doesn’t want to move on.
And that’s it. There are no other explanations as to why an ex would withhold your belongings from you.
If you ask your ex for your stuff back and he or she refuses to do so without a reasonable explanation, your ex has an ulterior motive.
And since he or she won’t tell you what that motive is, you can consider it one of the signs your ex is pretending to be over you and is leaving the door open for a future reconciliation.
7)Holding on to memories
Dumpees hold onto memories more often than dumpers. That’s because they’re consumed by despair and regret making mistakes that led to the breakup. They blame themselves, whereas dumpers blame them for the end of the relationship.
Nostalgia is a powerful emotion. Dumpees know just how bittersweet it feels to look at old photos, conversations, or anything that reminds them of their dumper ex. By reliving the past, they keep their hope for the relationship alive and stop themselves from going crazy.
Nostalgia gives them the strength they need to get through each day. It doesn’t help them long-term, but it does empower them in the moment and prevents them from letting go.
Hence, one of the signs your ex is pretending to be over you is when your ex keeps his or her reminders of you. Gifts, pictures, and things from the past often stir up powerful nostalgic emotions—even for dumpers. They show that your ex still thinks about you and that he or she may feel bad for hurting you.
You may notice that your ex is pretending to be over you when your ex:
- holds on to pictures of you and various relationship memories
- refuses to delete shared pictures from social media
- keeps personalized gifts such as love letters and jewelry
Of course, there are exceptions. Expensive, impersonal gifts like phones, computers, and cars don’t count, since they’re items your ex uses daily and doesn’t feel sentimental about.
8)Talking and asking about you
The more your ex talks about you in a neutral or positive manner, the more he or she respects you as a person. Your ex may not say it directly or be in direct contact with you, but an indifferent or angry person wouldn’t ask or talk about you in a nice manner.
Dumpees and dumpers often mention only bad things about each other. They do this to self-victimize, disconnect emotionally, and gain people’s support.
You need to know that a person who has no interest in you will probably not talk about you or ask your friends and family hundreds of questions about you. Your ex will likely avoid talking about you altogether, as doing so will give your ex the space he or she needs to enjoy life to the fullest.
Of course, asking a single question about you doesn’t mean your ex is pretending to be over you. But asking multiple questions every day could certainly be a sign. It could mean that your ex’s life isn’t going well and that he or she is thinking about getting back with you.
As a dumpee, you need to know how to distinguish romantic feelings from mere curiosity. Curiosity is normal and often drives dumpers to reach out. In breakup terms, it’s a breadcrumb. Conversely, an ex who still has feelings won’t just need to know what you’re up to, but also want you back due to anxiety and uncertainty.
So if your ex is a bit nosy, don’t immediately assume that your ex wants you back. Your ex probably feels a bit jealous. Especially if he or she asks people who know you things like:
- is he dating anyone?
- what is he doing now?
- who are his new friends?
- why is he not replying to me?
9)Constant communication
There is no better sign that your ex is pretending to be over you than when your ex can’t stop talking to you. When an ex is interested in you romantically, he or she will give you his or her undivided attention.
Your ex won’t stop talking to you because not talking to you will make him or her anxious and afraid of being forgotten and replaced.
If your ex makes you feel special and shows that he or she cares about you by giving you all of his or her attention, you can be certain that your ex still has feelings for you and wants to reconcile.
Your ex cares about you, otherwise, he or she wouldn’t be in constant contact with you.
10)Your ex gets jealous and envious
If your ex gets envious of your achievements or jealous of your new partner, it’s a sign your ex still possesses feelings for you. According to Psychology Today, jealousy is a complex emotion that arises when a person feels threatened.
A person’s threat can be real or imaginary, but it almost always portrays low self-esteem and a desire to connect with an object of desire (in this case, you).
If your ex gets jealous of you, he or she most likely covets what you have and, coincidentally, wants it for himself or herself. This means that your ex considers you valuable and respects you enough to want to be a part of your successful life.
Success is extremely attractive. If you want your ex to see you as worthy of attention and affection, you need to become successful. On top of that, your ex may need to experience a significant setback that hits his or her ego and self-esteem.
11)Hiding his/her new partner from you
This is another one of those ambiguous signs. If your ex hides his or her new relationship from you, it could mean many things. The most possible explanations are:
- your ex feels guilty and doesn’t want to hurt you and be seen as a player
- your ex wants to keep the doors open in case the new relationship doesn’t work out
Either way, you should wait for your ex to hit a snag and contact you first. Once he or she does, your ex might express regret and bring up getting back together. Before you take your ex back, though, you must figure out if your ex has come back for the right reasons and is ready to invest in you.
Don’t take your ex back if your ex merely needs help getting over his or her recent breakup.
Here’s a video of the 11 signs your ex is pretending to be over you.
This wraps up the article. If you can think of any other signs that your ex is pretending to be over you, share them in the comments below.
And if you’d like to talk to us about these signs, get in touch with a breakup coach here.
My name is Zan and I’m the founder of Magnet of Success. I enjoy writing realistic relationship and breakup articles and helping readers heal and grow. With more than 5 years of experience in the self-improvement, relationship, and breakup sphere, my goal is to provide advice that fosters positivity and success and avoids preventable mistakes and pain. Buy me a coffee, learn more about me, or get in touch today.
I am quite confused about my current situation. My ex and I had multiple break ups, every break up ends up with me begging him and he then coming back with a new condition, I am aware he used to do this things for control. But the last time…It was messy. I didn’t beg. Yes I cried at first and I felt a lot of emotions at once, even pannic attacks. But I didn’t beg. When we broke up, the first time I was nervious, so he told me if I needed someone he would always hear me, but when I got nervious and asked for help, he acted in a cold way, made me feel rejected. So I felt angry. So then we fighted. After a couple of days we had such a mature conversation, when he told me that he missed me, but he couldn’t take the relationship anymore, and that he was trying to date people only because he felt so alone. I told him that although I missed him, we needed to be alone to heal by ourselves. after that loving conversation I felt so peaceful… until he did a couple of things…. He, out of nowere, published a picture of our last trip together, a picture I took of him myself. EVERYONE warned me he was only doing it to get attention from me, that I shouldn’t talk to him. I was so stupid that even though I know it was true, I needed to know what he wanted from me… So I asked him. He first said that he was so surprised that I talked to him for the picture, then he said he undestands why I talked to him because he is used to do thing for attention ,but he just upploaded that picture because “he liked it”. He was SOOO defensive at first, like omg. Then he started asking how I was, playing the “I am soo happy getting to know new people and I will never go back” role, but whenever something about our relationship popped up, he would be SUPER irritated and angry, then tried to act happy and “chill” again, and things went back and fort. During the conversation I am proud to say that I remained objective and calmed, calling out bas behaviour but without emotional reactions. My question is, what is wrong with this guy? I feel like he wants at all cost for me to miss him, or to depend on him emotionally, and it’s so gross to me that someone would try to hurt someone like that. But I’d like to know, psychologically, what is going on? So I can finally stop thinking and move on once in for all.
This is toxic New Age nonsense. As someone who rejected a mutual love, even if it were healthy and encouraging and helpful, it is a wise decision. I’m still trying to move on ten years later but it’s worth to move on, one day at a time.
I need help with this ? Ok I was with my ex for 3 years , last 6 months he complained about me working Kong’s hours and accused me messing around. He could never handle me telling the truth . So he kicked me out1st time . Few weeks later begging me back so I did cause I loved him. Well once again accusing me , than he was constantly on phone and privately texting . I ask than he freaked out on me and kicked me out again. I through the towel in because I was tired of fighting not trusted and thrown out. Well it’s been 3 months apart . H begged to see me , of course after work I stopped over. Telling me he misses me and can he take me on a date but don’t get high explantation?? Really !! What should I think of that ?
Hi all me and my ex split up about 2months ago in about a week she got a new partner and we have a son together she’s been nasty to me but it’s recently she’s now texting me at of hours like 9:30 pm and she has recently said that she overthink a about us and wants things to go back to normal of a routine I’m abit confused because she says she’s happy with her new partner and I guess she’s now saying she’s not a good person or a good mother help please!
She’s saying that she doesn’t feel good enough for her new partner and she’s apparently not in a good headspace we’ve been saying for 2 years and she has my chain still around her neck what does that mean? She’s even said that she wants to unblock me from FB when she blocked me I’m really confused the whole relationship has been toxic she would on and off text guys sexual stuff and her excuse was I wasn’t loving her at the time I admit that but I was always there for her and I know she knows that we’ve argued alot throughout our relationship and we’ve broken up 8 times and gotten back together the last time we broke up for 3 months but what I did was obviously distract myself in another relationship she got jelous and all that and the relationship I had didn’t work out and I texted her that me and this girl broke up and she wanted to meet and saying things that she misses me and all that I really need help in this situation I know I have feeling and obviously by the sounds of it she does too but there’s no point getting back together thank you for reading
Personally I dont think she is getting the what she wants and is looking for out of life with u so hence has cheated and things but I think u probably give her security and comfort and routine and she hense keeps coming back because she does want that and yous have a child toghter but I don’t think she is treating u very good or nice but I do think she has feelings for u and is probably looking for yous to give it another go
What does it mean when an ex blatantly willing to tell you stories about their new partner I looked at it as a sign of rubbing it in and trying to make me feel bad what’s you’re take on This?
Hi Frank.
It means she’s detached from you and has no respect for you as her former partner.
Best regards,
Zan
Questions regarding the signs the dumper is pretending to be over there ex. When the dumper displays these signs is there a particular stage of recovery that the dumper is in or does this happen in all 5 stages or 4 Gigs stages? Also does displaying such signs mean the dumper will come back sooner or about to reach out to their ex? When dumper is displaying theses signs what does that mean for the dumper?
“Conversely, please don’t mistake an act of getting blocked or ignored as one of the signs that your ex is pretending to be over you.
A person that blocks and ignores does so out of spite and self-protection and not because of love.”
This is a dangerous generalization. Some people MUST be blocked in order to get them out of your life. Abusive people, narcissists, psychopaths, sociopaths, anti-socials. If a person is unfortunate enough to become involved with these types of people either in person or on social media and they get access to your social media accounts – ANY of them – you will likely have to block them to deter them from contacting you. Unless they lose interest in you when they hook themselves into something juicier. If they know where you live – do NOT let them in.
I was briefly involved with a couple of abusive men. That was enough for me. One of them came back recently. I saw him through the mail slot. I said “I’m not letting you in and I don’t want to talk to you.” He drove away. That got rid of him. He has no other way of contacting me.
To get rid of toxicity in your life try two things: #1 – gray rock – it’s a technique where you make yourself as boring as possible. Don’t engage the vampire. Toxic people are emotional vampires. They suck the life out of you. So don’t give them anything – including your PRAISE or attention. Talk about the weather and say you’re busy. #2 – have VERY strong boundaries and do not let people cross them. Define abuse – don’t let anyone abuse you. What words hurt or offend you – don’t let anyone use those around you. Do not tolerate disrespect. Tell anyone you date what your boundaries are. If they cross them – end the relationship. Period.
I haven’t had a healthy relationship in years, but I know ALL about having unhealthy ones. That’s why I am single. I am going to STAY single unless I meet a person who is emotionally healthy.
I am not going to hold my breath.
I might die.
My ex broke up with me over a week ago.. We have been together for 9 years. We had a few big and deep conversations about our future together on and off and I admit, i used to be sensitive and emotional so nothing got really resolved because he didn’t want to hurt me. So he figured out some options to make it work and keep us happy. I never picked up on anything strange within our relationship or his behaviour so i thought everything was going fine.
2 weeks ago he was being affectionate and loving towards me as usual. Then last week he broke down and said he never meant the things he said about our future and never wanted it. He only said it just to keep me happy. He also said that he was feeling unhappy and starting to spiral down to a dark place. Said he didn’t love himself, didn’t know who he is anymore and is wanting to go through a journey to find himself again, but alone and without me in the picture. He ignored my social media messages and changed his profile picture and relationship status (but kept our photos).
Then the week after he texted me asking to talk. He tells me that he has come to the conclusion that he no longer loves me and it started 2yrs ago (our first conversation about our future). I begged him asking for a second chance and that i was willing to make changes then he got angry and defensive. He said that I was boring in our relationship, didn’t care much during the times when we spent time together and the past week without contact or seeing me he felt really happy. I even saw (online) that he was going out more often than usual with his new group of friends and doing things that he wouldn’t normally do. During our conversation he kept walking pacing around and wouldn’t let me touch him. He said he didn’t want me in his future plans anymore and said at one point he may have developed some feelings for someone else but didn’t act on it due to us being in a relationship during that time and said that should have been a red flag indicator. I kept telling him that I believe that he still loves me or there is atleast some love.. and he got mad at me for telling him how he felt.
Do you think he really meant that he didn’t love me anymore or was just saying that just to hurt me? Because loss of love for someone and holding out for 2yrs is a long time when he could have ended it back then. I also don’t understand how he could be loving then crying and then become angry…
Hi Dee –
I hope this message finds you managing your feelings well.
Unfortunately, you may not get an answer to you questions. I know how difficult that is to hear. The truth is, in life, the only thing we have control over is what we think, how we feel, and what we do. Other people – they control their thinking, feeling, and what they do.
How you respond to this situation will either leave you very upset or empowered. Questioning the time you were together – that will leave you upset. Looking at it as a loving experience and moving forward with your life with the wisdom you gained from it – that will leave you empowered.
The issue about not loving you for two years – you can either accept or reject that statement. Each party in a relationship has their own point of view. Your point of view is your reality. There is no reason to question it – that gives away your power.
What is clear is this – for some reason, your ex felt he needed to end your relationship. He ended it in a very damaging, and hurtful way, rather than talking to you, dealing with his emotions, and being truthful as uncertainty was arising in his life. At this point, it is your choice to take his negative, confusing toxicity – and turn it into a release of positive empowerment for you.
I am sorry you are hurting.
I am sending love and peace to you for healing.
Be safe,
L
My ex broke up with me, saying that we weren’t compatible even though I knew what was really wrong. I was just a shitty person in general, had an inflated ego, very insecure and got jealous unreasonably, ignoring him during the relationship just because I’m bored of him, never asked him how he was doing, etc. He finally snapped and broke up with me because I hurt his pride (we had an argument where he thinks he’s not enough for me). He also said he doesn’t have the capacity to come and meet me, but if I want to meet him it’s okay since I know where he is anyway. After 5 days of no contact I reached out to him and ask him how his day was going, he was responsive but he replied very slowly, in the end I apologised to him sincerely, telling him how I want to be better & improve myself, and tell him not to feel pressured about it and just let go. What should I do now to get him back?
Hi. Thank you so much for your enlightment posts. I was in a relation with my ex for five years. We breaked up 3 years ago because i was not able to commit and thought that she deserved someone who could make her happy more than I did. She didn’t gave up and for two years she tried to get back together, we had lot of contact even physical during that time. Slowly i started to to think we should give another chance. When I reached that point she told me she met a new Guy and told me she was curious about him and decided to give a chance. We even had physical contact in the first times, but she said that was over me, even though she had feelings for me. I begged for a while, and I was passing a rough moment in my life (for other reasons) i looked insecure and depressed. I started no contac about a year ago. She contacted me once in a while but i was not in my best self i asked her to continue no contact. I feel in my gut she’s pretending to be over me, even though i thing she’s ok in her new rellation. I’m trying to get myself together and return to my best self but has been a very difficul challenge because I think she’s not really over me and she’s somehow in revenge mode and deceiving her self with her feelings about me. My brain says I’m wrong, but my heart continues to say I’m right.
My ex has blocked me from IG and snap except for messaging and FB. I’ve talked to him and addressed my input, and asked when he would like to exchange our belongings, the message I sent first he did not respond even though he said he was good and asked how I was. Then when I confronted him in person, we didn’t really come to a conclusion when we would meet. He told me that he hasn’t been able to process the break up bc he’s been stressed. Someone else told me that he’s been going through some family drama. It makes me think that he didn’t mean to break up, he was just taking his stress out on me. Because everything was good between us. We had just celebrated our one year. Help!
Hi Steph.
Give your ex space to figure out his issues.
He chose to deal with them alone, so distance yourself from him until you hear from him.
Best regards,
Zan
recently split up with my Girlfriend, we just couldn’t live together and we’re always arguing. She since moved out, I do miss our cuddles and how we used to be when we first met. I feel She doesn’t show any interest in us anymore. She is a definitely a party girl, and that’s what interested me to her. She fun, exciting and really good in bed. Shall I leave it be and try move on, or still continue to have feelings for her.
Hi JDC.
You should definitely move on and regain your happiness.
She’s not worth your one-sided love.
Best,
Zan
Hi, Zan
I have come on here today just for advice.
So I have an ex that I’ve dated 2years ago, and I have him on snapchat but we hardly speak. He watches my stories however I don’t pay attention to his. Him and my sister are very close, when I mean close I mean they literally speak on snapchat on a day to day basis. Whenever my sister posts a picture of me he compliments it and he posts quotes on snapchat like “he loves a girl” which is basically a description of me. He also talks about me to his friend & he makes videos of him in my area. I still love him and I wouldn’t mind rebuilding that relationship again but I keep having second thoughts because I don’t know if these signs mean anything.
Could you please get back to me.
Thank you.
Hi.
You have to let your ex be for now.
These signs aren’t good enough as most dumpees watch their dumpees’ social media.
Stay strong,
Zan
i want to be over my ex but sometimes i find myself worried abt her. ever since we e broken up she’s been going out every off day. i miss her smile and laugh. i miss her whining. we broke up four months ago, was together for a year and 7 months .. the first month of us being broken up she ignored me and got drunk w new friends every chance she got (she’s in the navy and just got to her new base around our break up) .. she was very controlling with me and my friends. i use to tell her to make friends while she can. but she use to have the mindset that just because she’s in the military friends would be pointless because they come and go which made it hard for me to have my friends our whole relationship. good thing my friends held nothing over me but uhm the moment we broke up she said to me that she was happy to not be with me because she could finally have friends which was like huh that’s what i’ve always wanted for u and us. uhm she started sleeping with a guy at work a little after the first month and it kind of hurt because in away she was still making it seem like we had a chance. but i expected it because i studied her before our relationship. she’s the type that always have to have somebody… then out the blue we got back cool and would hang out at least once or twice a week and i had to fall back twice from her because the first time i was falling back for her and then recently well i had to realize that we wouldn’t be getting back together and we never have anything to talk abt when we would hang. she makes the energy weird. see i can play my feelings cool around her but her on the other hand. it’s as if she lost touch of who i am so when we hang she’ll act like we’re just meeting. almost all the time she’ll initiate sex which i gave in only once but had to realize she’s still messing with someone. and we always watch shows that we’ve watch while being together idk i had to cut that off. it just felt too weird for me. but i still think of her and it’s almost even weirder because whenever i do think of her obsessively she somehow always seems to text me. since our break up i’ve never contacted her first. i just let things be. it’s always been her but she says she want nothing to do with me. that we’ll never get back together. i just wish i had a sign on this situation. i can’t ever not respond back to her. i always get anxious but will she ever leave me alone fr?
Hi Zan,
We dated for 2 years and broke up 2 months ago, I have a 2 year old daughter with him. We broke up bc we we’re both stressing each other out and especially being a parent was a challenged for us. So we both thought being friends was a better choice and we still live together for our daughter and still supporting each other. A month ago… we decided to be friends with benefits… but every time we do the benefits the reason why we broke up he’s actions would appear again..which was him being toxic. And one time I snapped and just told him I only wanted to be friends and told him horrible things which I regretted. But I was so done with him bc all I wanted was a positive environment for my daughter. And after that day he was hot and cold towards me. He was so distant… after a couple of days, I went and talked to him and apologized and wanted to work things out still because I didn’t want my daughter growing up without her parents being together. But he told me he just wants to be friends.. and when I finally got over that.. I finally started hanging out with my guy friend again. And when he found out .. he would tease me all the time about me getting pregnant or something or me having a new boyfriend… what does that mean… why does he always tease me about having new boyfriends? but I would always tell him he’s just my friend and to stop telling me that. Then He would say “you never know”.
Is he just pretending to be over me?
Or is he really over me?
Hi Sammy.
He could be pretending to be over you or he’s just incredibly insecure and anxious.
It’s possible that he’s both.
If you want a healthy piece of advice, work on bettering your self-awareness and self-control. Developing better awareness will help you tremendously in your romantic relationship.
Best,
Zan
My ex and I were engaged and were in a relationship for two years. Our first big fight started a week after she got her wedding dress. She said we had a bunch of little issues in our relationship but never said anything about them and stated we weren’t as intimate as we used to be. She broke off the relationship two weeks later and engagement and wouldn’t work on the relationship. She stated she was really scared and something just wasn’t right. She went back and forth with trying to work on us and less than a month after breaking it off she was dating someone else. Now she is Constantly posting all over social media about every little thing they do, throwing it in my face and claims how happy she is and even uses the same captions and wording from our old posts in her new ones. Her social media is so over the top and is everyday
Hi Thomas.
People’s old behavioral patterns from past relationships often remain the same in the new ones. They continue doing the same things with new partners and unintentionally offend their old partners.
I strongly suggest that you unfollow her and stop stalking her.
Do it for your self-esteem.
Kind regards,
Zan
When I was with my ex husband he got pissed off if I said ANYTHING on social media about him, even though I never aired our dirty laundry I would occasionally post something about wishing he was home early, looking forward to spending some qt with him, or thanking him for doing some little thing for me. He would pick a fight with me about anything I posted about him or not. There were a lot of other issues in our marriage and we are much better off as divorced. My new husband? I post whatever the hell I want, when we do things, how I’m feeling, send him a song, etc. I see people who claim that posting on social media is a big no no or something else negative and to those people I say pfffttttt. It’s MY facebook, I’m VERY happy in my life, so yeah, I “brag” about it. I hate to say it but her posts, just like mine, may have very little or nothing to do with you and she could truly just be that happy in her new relationship.
hey,
my ex broke up with me nearly 3 months ago, we didn’t talk for the first month, but then had a fun night, we didn’t talk after that and still haven’t spoken, but he became super nasty towards me, and had his friend make fun of me, he would try and get my attention and make me jealous, and blocked me on social media after he unblocked me on that night. i noticed though he would ask people about me and how i was, and he always posts the same things on other platforms that he posts on snapchat as he knows that i can’t see his snapchat, he looks at me but tries to not make it obvious, people have said that he likes me again but i just don’t know whats happening!
Regards
Emma
Hi Emma.
As long as he’s doing mean things, he doesn’t like you. He’s being vengeful and immature, so stay away from him and protect yourself.
Best,
Zan
Hi. A month ago me and my ex broke up even after having an amazing relationship. He said that he didn’t want to be cages and would love to be free bird but want to be only friends with me. A day after this, he blocked me from all social media platforms and made fun of me with his group of friends who left me for him. We sorted stuff out and became friends again, but he has started to talk very loudly about his new crushes despite me being right behind him. He gives me occasional glances and actively stalks on social media also. He also gives me a hot and cold behaviour most of the times. And he constantly asks my best friend if I have moved on. He tries to avoid conversations about me but doesn’t hesitate to ask if I’ve moved on. We had been in love for four years and I don’t think he has moved on right away. What does his behaviour mean?
Hi. My ex broke up with me about a month ago. The last thing he said was that I am an amazing person and he hopes that I find someone better. He then blocked me on every platform possible. But he told my sister that he just wants to be single and will probably not change his mind. What does this mean? We’ve had an amazing relationship for years. His parents told me that he doesn’t look happy and spends his time at the gym and drinking with his friends. But the week we broke up he told his Mother that he wants to propose to me in the future. Help!
Hi Cara.
His proposal was an attempt to increase his feelings for you.
Stay in no contact and recover from the breakup anxiety.
Your only option is to wait if he ever changes his mind.
Best,
Zan
My ex broke up with me just a month ago.. because I was cash apping girls and thinking of cheating but I didn’t go through with it. They broke up with me… but just after two weeks of telling her I would work on myself and her saying she needs time.. she is dating her five and a half year relationship ex.. who I feel she was never over if shes with him already. She posted him all over her snapchat.. and I mean it hurts.. but yeah. I don’t think shes the one for me but im just so hurt and I don’t understand this behavior especially when we last talked she said she had still love me. Makes me think that she had been talking to him.
Hi Dan.
I think she had no choice but to move on after you emotionally cheated on her.
This is your opportunity to find out why you resorted to such deeds and correct your behavioral patterns if necessary.
Best regards,
Zan
Hi Zan,
I guess that makes sense, but what I don’t understand is that if she truly loved me, wouldn’t she try and work things out with me? Instead of going to her ex? like what kind of shit is that? I get that I messed up but shes messed up even worse in the past before we got together and were just talking. I don’t know. I mean I don’t get why she would do that especially just after two weeks.
Hi Dan.
You’re right about that. She wouldn’t have run to her ex if she truly loved you.
She thought your relationship was over so she did what she wanted.
Best,
Zan
Well I broke up with my ex a month ago or you could say probably 7 days back cause before this I was pleading and begging her to stay we were having an amazjng time until I moved out over seas and it was a long distance and she said she lost feelings and it wouldn’t have worked anyway cause her parents were not agreeing for me but she is having fun with my friends talking to end number of guys I don’t understand before 2 weeks she was all about me and how she wanted me to be successful and now she’s totally brutal drinking and crying over me but doesn’t wanna talk to me or want me in her life that’s what she said to mutual friends of our
Hi Hussain.
Your ex is overwhelmed with guilt. It doesn’t mean that she loves you and wants you.
She’s merely regretful of her selfish actions.
Stay strong,
Zan
Why does my ex boyfriend call me names like hore and other names Everytime he sees me
Hi Rose.
Because he’s nasty and immature—and is better off not dating anyone.
Stay strong,
Zan
When they come in and out of contact with you, the hot and cold behaviour in that process which is clearly them riddled with self doubts and doubts you can provide a future yet they’re deep down wanting it to work!
Hi Eliot.
When an ex is hot and cold, he or she usually wants to stay friends but can’t because of a lack of space. As a result of that, an ex then turns cold and appears disinterested.
Kind regards,
Zan