If your boyfriend kicked you out and left you with nowhere to go, your boyfriend probably felt victimized and hurt. He was resentful and either wanted to hurt you or didn’t care about hurting you. Either way, he showed you how he perceived you and felt about you as an ex-partner.
A person who kicks you out even though you don’t have a place to stay is convinced that it’s okay to do so. His morals and reasoning let him get rid of you in a quick, yet ugly fashion.
If you were loyal and didn’t do anything to deserve such treatment, you’re the victim in this. You weren’t perfect, but you remained committed, emotionally invested, and had hopes for the relationship.
But if you cheated or did something equally damaging that broke his trust, then you were aware of what could happen. You were okay with it because you prioritized your emotional needs over your partner and the security he provided you with.
I’m not saying it’s okay to kick out someone who betrays you, but you have to understand how serious betrayal is. It makes a person feel deceived and taken for granted after doing his or her best to invest in the relationship and make you happy.
Morally speaking, your partner shouldn’t have thrown you out and left you on the side of the road. You’re a human being who didn’t have a place to stay and who depended on your boyfriend for a place to sleep. You had an agreement about staying with him and being equal partners.
Of course, that agreement ended when he left, but the guy still had a moral responsibility to shelter you. It was the least he could do after leaving you and breaking your heart. Agreements need to be respected and arrangements needed to be made about where you could sleep and how you would interact with each other.
There was no need to kick you to the curb. Not only was it dangerous for you to be out alone with all your stuff, but it also made you feel discarded and miserable. It was shocking and hurtful that someone you love would do that to you.
It said a lot about his feelings and anger toward you.
So if your boyfriend kicked you out and you have nowhere to go, bear in mind that he can’t justify his actions unless you cheated on him, hurt him physically, endangered his family, or for some reason, left him with no choice but to terminate the agreement then and there.
Lying, nagging, hiding things, communicating poorly, getting angry, and hanging out with friends instead of him doesn’t justify what he did. Your behavior makes him unhappy, that’s for sure, but his inconsiderate actions still make him fully responsible.
They show he lacks respect, patience, and care, and that he doesn’t value the agreement he made when you moved in.
He thinks that as an owner, he has all the power and that he can do what he wants when he wants. This is, of course, not true. Whether you lived together for a week or a year, the verbal contract guaranteed you long-term housing security in exchange for commitment.
If you broke that commitment by ending the relationship or emotionally and/or physically cheating on him, you, of course, lost the right to live at his place. You stopped valuing the relationship and knew things would get ugly when he found out what you did.
In that case, he had every right to break up with you and kick you out. You didn’t care about his feelings, love, and commitment, so he had the right not to care about you either. He was kind enough to let you stay at his place and expected nothing but loyalty in return.
He probably wanted you to take care of his place, but he wouldn’t have kicked you out if you didn’t do that. The only condition for staying at his place was love and commitment.
If you didn’t break those conditions and still got kicked out (especially right after the breakup), the guy didn’t honor the agreement and care about the fact that you had nowhere to go. He didn’t care if you slept on the street, crashed at a friend’s place, or booked a hotel.
He was okay with anything because he wanted you gone immediately. A guy like that has no sympathy for you. He probably thinks he’s a victim and that he has the right to do anything he wants – even if it hurts you.
On the other hand, if he broke up with you a while ago and gave you enough time to find a place or move back to your parents, then you probably should have saved up/gotten a job and looked for a new place to stay.
You should have taken the breakup more seriously rather than expecting him to change his mind and/or let you stay with him. The guy probably wanted to move on but couldn’t because he kept getting reminded of you and felt pressured.
If you really couldn’t find a new place, he probably could or should have given you more time. But if you didn’t even bother to look for a place, then perhaps he felt you weren’t going to move out by choice and that he needed to kick you out by force.
In this case, you should express gratitude to your ex for letting you stay longer than he was comfortable with and find a new place to stay.
Today, we discuss why your boyfriend kicked you out with nowhere to go and what your options are.
My boyfriend kicked me out and I have nowhere to go
There’s a difference between a dumpee and a dumper kicking his ex out.
A dumpee feels brokenhearted and wants his ex to give him another chance. He thinks he needs to impress the dumper and try to get back together to feel secure.
If he gets kicked out of the house and has no place to go, he loses reconciliation hope and suffers immensely.
On the other hand, a dumpee kicking out a dumper is bad but not that bad. The dumper doesn’t get his heart crushed and isn’t forced to ruminate about the breakup for months. Since he’s detached, he can just focus on himself and start a new relationship with someone else if he wants to.
The dumper’s self-esteem is fine, which is why all he has to worry about is finding a new place to stay.
A dumpee should still give the dumper some time to move. A few weeks should probably suffice. If they don’t, the dumpee should talk about it with the dumper or kick the dumper out.
Exes shouldn’t keep living together after the breakup. They should do everything in their power to separate physically and emotionally. By getting space from each other, they can detach, regain their identity, and move forward.
If they’re forced to live together, dumpees feel anxious and make dumpers feel pressured. Due to different post-breakup expectations, they want different things from each other and make each other’s lives more difficult.
Therefore, moving out is a must. Dumpees and dumpers must collect their belongings and move out as quickly and smoothly as possible. Space lets them start processing the breakup and shows them they can be happy on their own.
Sadly, many people kick their partner or ex-partner out of their place simply because they can. They overlook the fact that their ex has no place to go and that he or she will struggle to find a roof over his or her head.
They don’t care much about the struggles their ex will face because they feel overwhelmed with negative emotions and want the pain to end.
Such people justify their behavior by accusing their ex of hurting them. They think they’re only standing up for themselves and being fair after everything their ex has put them through. In reality, they’re self-victimizing and taking things to the extreme.
Kicking an ex out of the house shouldn’t be the first option. It should be done only if your ex betrayed you or doesn’t want to move out despite giving him enough time to do so.
Your ex should know how much time he has to move out and what will happen if he doesn’t.
You shouldn’t threaten him; just let him know that the relationship has ended and that you must stay away from each other.
If your boyfriend kicked you out with nowhere to go, he thought he had no other option. He felt frustrated with the relationship and made an impulsive decision to get rid of you before you could cause him harm.
I don’t know how your behavior or presence caused him to suffer, but perhaps it suffocated him and made him want to focus on himself and someone else. In his mind, the relationship ended, and there was no regret or desire to fix things anymore.
There was nothing else to fix because your boyfriend was set on leaving and prioritizing his happiness and well-being.
Dumpers tend not to worry about their ex very much. Only the most self-aware and understanding dumpers leave properly.
Properly means that they choose an appropriate date and time and empathetically express their post-breakup feelings and expectations. They communicate in such a way that they avoid hurting their ex more than necessary.
Sadly, many dumpers feel victimized and annoyed and blame their ex for their problems and emotions. They don’t see that they made mistakes too and that relationships take two to tango.
That’s why they say and do mean things after the breakup.
They:
- ignore or block their ex
- get cold or angry with their ex
- spread rumors and try to ruin their ex’s reputation
- attack their ex’s character
- refuse to return their ex’s money and belongings
- sue their ex
- date their ex’s friend
- avoid their ex like the plague
- and kick their ex out of their home
Every person feels and reacts differently to breakup emotions. But those who lack empathy, self-control, and understanding of emotions tend to do hurtful things. They make their ex’s life difficult by convincing themselves they were victimized and that they have every right to get rid of their ex in the quickest way possible.
They don’t understand that their actions will affect their ex and make them no better than their ex.
With that said, here’s why your boyfriend kicked you out when you have nowhere to go.
What to do if you have nowhere to go?
If you have nowhere to go and your ex-boyfriend doesn’t care about it, you shouldn’t beg him to change his mind. If he understood your situation and had sympathy for you, he would have let you stay (a while longer).
He would have talked about how long you can stay and how he can help you move.
Now that he wants you to leave, you’ll have to find another place to stay. This can be a paid accommodation such as a hotel or Airbnb or you can try Couchsurfing. If that doesn’t work, consider contacting a friend or a family member for help. They might have extra space for you or wire you some money.
In the worst-case scenario, you can contact a shelter or church and explain your situation. Someone will probably help you out and give you a place to stay until you get your head together and find a job or a place to stay.
If you moved cities or countries for your ex, you should go back home and seek help from people who care about you. Don’t stay alone in a place that makes you feel alone, nostalgic, and miserable.
Don’t do it even if you’re hoping your ex will change his mind. He probably won’t have an epiphany anytime soon. An ex who dumps you and kicks you out has a very negative opinion of you and doesn’t care what happens to you.
All he cares about is getting space from you and focusing on things or people that make him feel good.
You’ll have to rely on yourself from now on. It will take some time, but make sure to improve your finances and find an affordable place to stay. Don’t idle and stay financially dependent on your ex.
This is the time to work on yourself and avoid getting into a similar situation in the future. You should save up some money for emergencies to avoid being displaced if your partner chooses to leave.
So take the breakup seriously and work on things that need improving. Self-love and self-improvement will help you navigate this situation and prevent you from relying too much on others.
Did your boyfriend kick you out and leave you with nowhere to go? Where are you thinking of staying? Share your story in the comments section below.
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My name is Zan and I’m the founder of Magnet of Success. I enjoy writing realistic relationship and breakup articles and helping readers heal and grow. With more than 5 years of experience in the self-improvement, relationship, and breakup sphere, my goal is to provide advice that fosters positivity and success and avoids preventable mistakes and pain. Learn more about me or get in touch today.
