Long-distance Relationship Breakups And Getting Back Together

If you got caught up in a long-distance relationship breakup and want to get back together with your ex, you need to know that long-distance relationship breakups aren’t much different from “ordinary” breakups.

By nature, they’re still breakups that require you to go no contact so that you can respect your ex’s need for space and preserve your worth. Just how other types of breakups require you to leave your ex alone, a long-distance breakup also demands that you get out of your ex’s life the moment it occurs.

It tells you that you must look after yourself and walk away with dignity or there’s a high risk that you’ll smother your ex and bring out the worst in him or her.

Dumpers (male or female) just don’t find desperate behavior attractive. They find it annoying and repulsive. So much so that they never look at their persisting dumpees in the same way again. It doesn’t matter how far away they are from the dumpee who annoys them.

If they don’t get the peace and quiet they want, they get irritated very quickly and develop resentments.

Sure, some people forgive and even forget, but you have to understand that dumpers are in very sensitive states after the breakup. They’re out of patience, so they’re much more likely to get angry than someone who has respect, love, and admiration for his or her partner.

Why are dumpers different, you ask?

It’s because dumpers waited weeks or months to break up with their ex. They delayed the breakup because they thought things would improve.

But they didn’t, so imagine how they must feel when their ex tries to interrupt their peace after they’ve been wanting to get peace for a very long time. I can tell you that they’re far from pleased about it. They’re so displeased that they push their negative emotions deep into their subconscious and associate them with their ex.

This means that if you annoy your ex after the breakup that your ex won’t necessarily remember specific things you said or did to annoy your ex. Your ex will remember those things in a form of association – a feeling he or she connected with you when you made him or her unhappy.

If you’ve ever been really angry, disgusted, or annoyed with someone, you know what I’m talking about. You know that you don’t always immediately remember the things that person did to you the moment you see him. You remember the way he or she made you feel.

This is called an association. It’s a deep-rooted feeling that prevents dumpers from getting over their past hurts and reuniting with their exes.

The topic for today is long-distance relationship breakups and getting back together. This post is dedicated to everyone who’s going through a long-distance breakup and wants to get back with an ex.

Long-distance relationship breakups and getting back together

The thing about long-distance relationship breakups and getting back together is that LDR breakups aren’t any harder or more complicated than other breakups. If anything, they are easier because you’re away from your ex and don’t have a choice but to give your ex the time he or she needs to process the breakup.

The more time you give to your ex and the less you embarrass yourself in the process, the higher the chances that your ex will enjoy life without you uninterruptedly and eventually get hurt. And when your ex gets hurt, that’s when you’ll probably hear from your ex and receive his or her breadcrumbs.

Whether you hear from your ex really depends on:

1. How much respect your ex still has for you.
2. And how much your ex can benefit from you.

Right now, the only way your ex can benefit from you is if you leave your ex alone. Don’t call or text your ex because the time after the breakup is the “no speak time.” It’s meant for you and your ex to get some emotional distance from each other and do the things you enjoy without each other.

It’s good that there is already some physical distance between you and your ex. Space will help both of you get used to living without each other. But now that you’ve broken up, you also need to detach emotionally so that you can reevaluate the relationship and figure out if getting back together is even the right thing to do.

Your heart probably says that it is, but your mind might not agree with it. This is due to the breakup shock. You want your long-distance ex back even though deep inside, you know that someone who dumps you doesn’t deserve you.

For now, try not to think about that.

Don’t worry about whether your ex will ever want to be in a long-distance relationship again. Don’t fear that he or she would rather be with someone more physically available than you. If your ex said that distance is the issue, then your ex doesn’t value long-distance relationships and prefers to be in physical relationships.

There’s nothing you can do about that because you can’t change your ex’s way of thinking.

But if your ex never said that the distance was an issue, then your ex broke up with you because your ex wasn’t happy with you or with his or her perception of you. In that case, you mustn’t try to prove your ex wrong by trying to force your ex to be happy with you.

Your opportunity to do that was in the relationship, which is why the only thing you can do now is to let your ex experience life without you so that your ex sees if he or she has made the right choice.

If your ex doesn’t contact you and come back, this, of course, doesn’t mean that you’re not worth getting back with. It could just mean that your ex:

• focused on moving on rather than reflecting
• lost all respect for you before, during, or after the breakup
• couldn’t get over the past (let go of negative associations)
• didn’t get into trouble and suffer (didn’t find the incentive to miss you)
• disliked being in a long-distance relationship because he or she wanted something more physical

Whatever your ex’s reason for breaking up is, remember that your ex broke up with you and that you shouldn’t oppose your ex’s decision. Resisting your ex’s well-thought-out decision is only going to disrespect your ex, make you look weak, and prevent your ex from ever feeling something for you again.

So don’t think that you must do something special to impress your ex. You may be dealing with a long-distance relationship breakup that feels out of your control, but grand gestures such as giving your ex gifts, showing up at your ex’s front door, and sending your ex letters are going to get you in trouble.

If your ex doesn’t call the cops on you and get a restraining order, your ex will lose all respect for you and become completely unreceptive to you. And that’s when you’ll feel even more rejected than you already do and suffer badly.

Remember that getting back with your ex after a long-distance breakup is not about the things you do. It’s about your ex’s life which includes his or her understanding of who you were throughout the relationship, the things happening in your ex’s life, and your ex’s ability to process negative emotions.

So give up on trying to woo your ex and treat your breakup as any ordinary breakup. Treat it with self-respect and I promise you that your ex will think as fondly of you as he or she possibly can.

In the picture below, you will find some straightforward tips on how to handle a long-distance relationship breakup and get back together with your ex.

Long-distance relationship breakups aren’t easy. They constantly give you a lot of fear and anxiety and make you blame yourself for your mistakes. This is normal, but don’t take all the blame for the breakup. Remember that relationships consist of two people and that both are equally responsible for managing their emotions and maintaining the long-distance relationship.

If your ex got mad at you and associated unhealthy emotions with your persona, that’s not your fault. You may have caused your ex unhappiness, but you weren’t responsible for your ex’s loss of respect, love, and commitment.

Remember this on your bad days so that you don’t reach out to your ex and apologize for his or her negligence.

How to do no contact after an LDR breakup?

No contact after a long-distance relationship breakup is very simple. You don’t have to worry about running into your ex and seeing your ex have a blast with other men or women. That would hit you hard and make you even more obsessed with your ex and the people he or he hangs out with.

So consider your LDR breakup a blessing in disguise as you don’t have to worry about half the things no-distance dumpees deal with.

You’ll “only” have to worry about:

• retaining your value
• growing your self-esteem
• becoming the best version of yourself
• getting over your ex (yes, you must get over your ex even if you want your ex back)
• finding purpose in life
• and enjoying your life again

It seems like a lot of work, but if you’re hurting over the loss of your relationship, you should be able to grow from your breakup and reach high levels of personal growth with ease.

All you’ll have to do is take your focus off your ex and put it on yourself. The more you do that, the more you’ll learn and improve and the stronger you’ll become.

Take this part of no contact seriously.

You’ll have the best chance at having a successful relationship with your ex (or with anyone else) is if you develop a great relationship with yourself. You can’t control what your ex does in his or her spare time, but you can do your part and encourage your ex to do his or hers when your ex wants you back.

So if you want what’s best for you, don’t worry about how to reconcile with your ex, but what you and your ex need from each other to be happy.

You as a dumpee may think it’s your ex, but that’s not entirely true. Your ex can make you feel better, but your ex isn’t the solution to your problem. It’s detachment and growth.

Your dumper ex, on the other hand, needs you to respect his or her wish for separation and spend some time away from you. That’s the only way your ex can become nostalgic and wonder what you’re up to.

What to do when your long-distance ex reaches out?

When your ex breaks no contact, the first thing you should do is figure out why your ex contacted you. If it’s to check up on you, ask for a favor, or simply out of boredom, you shouldn’t entertain your ex. You should end the conversation quickly and politely and let your ex know that you’re not interested in meaningless conversations.

Not unless your ex decides to commit.

You must always remember that your ex had lost respect for you and that communicating with your ex after the breakup won’t bring your ex back. It will, however, tell your ex that you’re still available and that you could be useful to him or her for non-romantic purposes.

In other words, your ex will see that you can make a decent friend and breadcrumb you whenever he or she doesn’t know what to do with himself or herself.

If you have any respect for yourself, don’t let your ex friend zone you. Don’t become his or her go-to person for boredom and convenience. You’ll have a much better chance at reattracting your ex if you exude self-esteem and refuse to stay in touch.

That’s because your ex will see that you’re not going to bow to anyone’s will and that you’re self-sufficient enough to move on with your life.

Walking away from a broken relationship will basically make your ex respect you whereas turning into an errand boy will cause your ex to abuse your services and string you along.

To handle your ex’s reach out well, you don’t have to explain to your ex why you won’t communicate. You can just say something simple like, “I need more time to process everything. I don’t have anything against you, but I’d appreciate it if you didn’t reach out anymore. I’ll let you know when I’m ready.”

That’s it. This is enough to prove that becoming friends with your ex is not on your to-do list and that you’ve got enough friends and better things planned.

How to deal with a long-distance breakup?

When you’re dealing with a long-distance relationship breakup, you need to unfollow your ex on social media as well as any mutual friends who hang out with your ex. Doing so will stop your anxious mind from overthinking and allow you to focus on yourself.

No contact is hard when you do nothing to make yourself feel better. It’s especially hard when you follow only some of its rules. You’re supposed to take it seriously and stay in it until you’ve recovered because that’s when you can decide if you want to be friends with your ex.

So if you want to feel better, don’t stay inside the house and check your phone all day, every day. You have to focus on regaining your strength rather than obsessing over your ex.

Do that by grabbing some friends and pushing yourself out of your comfort zone. Feel free to also get therapy. It will help you deal with grief quicker and enable you to enjoy your life.

The more successful you are distracting yourself and the more you force yourself to do the things you like, the quicker you’ll recover and the better equipped you’ll be to handle your ex’s breadcrumbs once your ex gets back in touch with you.

Do LDR breakup couples get back together?

Breakup couples get back together. But as I mentioned earlier, it doesn’t happen when dumpees want it to happen. It happens when something influential (painful) happens to dumpers because that’s when they reflect and wonder if dumping their ex was the right thing to do.

If you want to get back with your ex-girlfriend or ex-boyfriend after a long-distance breakup, it has to be your ex who brings up reconciliation. He or she has to be the one to do it because right now, your ex has all the power.

Your ex controls the flow of this “relationship,” so to speak, and decides almost everything. So to have your ex respect you and get back with you, keep in mind that your ex must give you your power back first.

Your ex must get hurt because when he/she does, your ex’s self-esteem will take a toll and yours will thrive. This is when your value will rise and your ex’s fall.

Whether you’re trying to get your ex back after a long-distance or a regular breakup, focus fully on rebuilding yourself and increasing your worth. You may not be able to change the past, but you can improve yourself so that your ex can see all the changes you’ve made about yourself once he or she gets hurt.

Are you going through a long-distance relationship breakup and want to get back together with your ex? Comment below the article.

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Zan

My name is Zan and I’m the founder of Magnet of Success. I enjoy writing realistic relationship and breakup articles and helping readers heal and grow. With more than 5 years of experience in the self-improvement, relationship, and breakup sphere, my goal is to provide advice that fosters positivity and success and avoids preventable mistakes and pain. Buy me a coffee, learn more about me, or get in touch today.