Ahh, the sweet joy of karma. Nothing sounds more harmonizing, looks more appealing, and tastes sweeter than good friend Karma.
As soon as we get past the depression stage of a breakup and transition into the anger stage, boy do our feelings change.
Suddenly, our mentality switches from a desperate state to a more self-respectful one, giving us an opportunity to finally see our exes for the people they are.
That means we get to stand up for ourselves and take care of ourselves. We may still want our ex back, but now, we want justice for our exes’ dishonesty and treachery. We don’t just want our exes to go through what we did.
We want more.
We expect our exes to pay dearly for the pain they’ve caused so we can feel that we’re not suffering alone and that our exes can take responsibility. Responsibility for treating us worse than a stranger.
In the anger stage of a breakup, we’re so angry that we demand immediate punishment for those who humiliated us, abandoned us, and knocked us down to the ground. We think to ourselves “I have suffered for days and weeks because of you. Now it’s your turn to pay.”
Little do we know that our ex’s suffering won’t make fix what our ex has broken. It might put a bandage on our wounds, but it won’t heal them and help us develop ourselves into stronger, maturer, and more successful people.
But if you’re wondering, “Will karma get my ex for treating me badly,” rest assured that it will. The only problem is that it won’t happen when you want it to. It will likely happen when you’re already mainly or fully over your ex and don’t care about the things your ex said and did to hurt you.
This post is for people who want karma to hit their ex and validate their feelings.
I want karma to get my ex so badly
Dear reader, I understand exactly how you feel because I went through a painful rejection as well. If karma was tangible and I could have bought it, I would have sold all my belongings and run into the first shop to buy all the karma I could afford.
I honestly believed that as long as my ex-partner was having an amazing time without me, I would never be content on my own. I thought that my ex didn’t have the right to be happy when I was miserable, so I wanted to take matters of justice into my own hands.
As I yearned for revenge and justice for her bad post-breakup treatment, my heart raced and my mind became blurry. I came up with 100 different ways for my ex to get hit by karma and expected her to pay for her wrongdoings.
I am not ashamed to admit that I have visualized many bad things happening to my ex and would sometimes contemplate her running back to me to say she’d made a huge mistake.
But when I realized what my crazy obsession with revenge and karmic justice was doing to me, I reluctantly took a step back and asked myself. “Why would my ex’s unhappiness bring me joy? It would certainly make me feel better in the heat of the moment but not after I’ve calmed down. It would just make me into a vengeful person who hurts others to get a kick out of it.”
And that would make me no better than my ex. It’d make me impulsive and vengeful, so I chose not to take revenge. I knew that I shouldn’t be the person to punish my ex because there are plenty of people out there who would do the dirty job for me.
Those people would teach my ex lessons whereas I would just look petty and give my ex another reason to stay away from me.
Plotting revenge on your ex
Had I decided to take matters of karmic justice into my own hands and do something despicable, like post my ex’s pictures online, I would end up being the bad guy. My vengeful actions would show my ex that she’s gotten to me and that I lack control over my actions.
Not only would my ex tell her people what a bad person I am for doing something nasty but all my bad actions would sooner rather than later come flying back at me. My family and friends would find out what I’ve done, mutual friends would side with my ex, and I would feel horrible and blame myself even more.
That’s why if you’re plotting revenge on your ex, I strongly encourage you not to do it. It’s okay and normal to wish bad things to happen to your ex as this is something you’re doing to cope with your ex’s unfair actions.
But don’t act on those plans or you’re seriously going to regret it. Ask anyone who’s done something nasty. He or she will convince you that revenge is for the weak-minded and that stronger people walk away with dignity.
If you’ve already done something bad, though and your ex hasn’t blocked you yet, then at the very least apologize to your ex. Say that emotions got the best of you and that you’ll be focusing on yourself from now on.
Revenge is satisfying
Is revenge sweet? Yes, it is. It tastes like the sweetest candy this world has to offer.
But is it short-lived? You bet!
I’m sure you can think of many ways to bring your ex down to his or her knees and make him or her sorry for ever crossing paths with you. You can do that and get your justice today – probably this very moment from the comfort of your home.
But before you do that, know that your bad actions will definitely affect you and your good karma.
Provided you care about your image, you will without a doubt regret taking revenge and wish you’d just left your ex alone. Revenge isn’t just about teaching your ex a lesson – to be smarter in the next relationship. It’s personal as your goal is to destroy your ex’s life and force your ex to struggle emotionally.
You, therefore, need to control yourself even if your ex cheated on you and monkey-branched onto someone else.
It’s what your loved ones expect you to do and what you should do if you respect yourself.
By acting on impulse, you won’t prove that you’re a badass and in control. You’ll prove that you lack control and that you’re vengeful and a danger to yourself.
Your friends and family will probably find out what you did—and something tells me you’ll care about that once you’ve calmed down and collected your thoughts.
So instead of completely ruining your image of the person you are and wish to become in the future, don’t go down that path. There are many more suitable ways to vent your frustrations and remain a person of high value.
A great way to start detaching and transforming yourself is by commenting on this article or by joining the community on the Magnet of Success Discord channel.
There are a million things you can do to turn your attention away from unwanted thoughts and feel better as a result. I urge you to focus on improving yourself rather than destroying your ex.
When you cool off and recover, the work you’ve invested in yourself will decide whether you’ve grown, regressed, or remained the same.
Keep in mind that karma always strikes—whether it’s because you’ve done something terrible or because your ex treated you badly. The undeniable fact is that it hits people when they least expect it.
Yes, karma can be that sneaky.
Sometimes all that needs to happen is for enough time to pass for bad karma to build up. Once it’s built up, it strikes hard and unexpectedly. And that’s when people normally learn their lessons.
Well, at least those who reflect on their behavior.
How does karma work?
People who get hurt by the dumper they trusted demand immediate punishment. They want karma to hit their ex the very moment they get hurt.
If it were possible, dumpees would immediately pick up the phone and call the God of punishments to make misery rain down on their ex.
In doing so, they would get even and bask in their ability to manipulate their ex’s feelings. This is what dumpees want. They want to know that they can influence their ex. They especially want to see that they can take happiness away from their ex because doing so reassures them that they matter.
It’s the dumpees’ belief that by doing something mean, their exes would quickly regret their actions and express sorrow. But karma, unfortunately, doesn’t work that way. The dumpee isn’t the bringer of justice. He or she lost the ability to teach the dumper a lesson a long time ago.
The only thing who can teach the dumper a valuable lesson is life itself. Life can help your ex ignore the need to work on himself or herself and encourage your ex to get involved with someone who doesn’t tolerate the kind of behavior you did.
That’s when karma will punish your ex for thinking he or she can get away by refusing to grow.
I’ve spent countless hours looking for the best explanation of karma and learning how it works, and finally, I believe I came across the best explanation by Earl Nightingale.
In his book Lead the field, I have found the most reasonable and realistic definition of karma I could find.
Earl Nightingale describes karma as a boomerang. All actions—good or bad come back to us.
He says, “Every time a person does something dishonest, he is in effect tossing a boomerang. How far out it will travel, no one knows. How great or how small a circle it will traverse, only time will tell. But it will, eventually it must, finally come swift and unseen around behind that person and deliver its never-failing and painful blow to the back of his neck.”
If a person thinks positively and does positive things, he or she gets positive results. And if a person thinks negatively and does negative things, he or she yields negative results. That’s why you can be certain that karma will hit your ex. You can’t expect it not to.
Especially if your ex is severely undeveloped.
Hit and run
People don’t usually hurt someone and then never do it again. Sure, some convicts learn their lessons and become better people, but your ex is no convict. Your ex got away without paying a price for it and will, therefore, have to pay for it eventually.
So really, your ex is in a completely different category.
Your ex thinks of himself or herself as a victim, which means that your ex cannot and will not change at all.
If convicts take years of confinement to change their belief system (or don’t at all), don’t think that your ex can do it in a day.
It’s preposterous to think the dumper will sit down and try to grow from this experience. Your ex just wants to focus on self-distraction and moving on. He or she has no time and patience for personal development. Your ex is not ready for it. Not until karma strikes him or her hard.
Changing one’s belief system takes time—a lot of time. It takes appropriately 21 days of a conscious effort to develop or erase a bad habit.
Moreover, it takes three times that long to make it a permanent part of us without us. So theoretically, the amount of time it takes to correct bad karma depends on how much he or she has sinned.
I can’t say how long it will take your ex to correct his or her bad karma because I don’t know your ex. I don’t know what your ex has done and what he or she is doing to grow right now. But I can say that if your ex is focusing on enjoying himself or herself that your ex won’t improve karma at all.
Your ex will just carry certain behavioral patterns into the next relationship and act similarly as before.
As you sow, so shall you reap
What you give is what you get. It doesn’t get any simpler than that.
If your ex thinks, feels, speaks, acts, and reacts in a certain way, you can expect the same from this person in the future. You can expect your ex not to change these things because your ex lacks the will or need to change them.
He or she is focusing on moving instead.
One does not change his or her beliefs simply by moving on. As you know, people are creatures of habit. We are controlled by our thoughts and follow certain patterns. That’s what makes us us.
We can control negative thoughts and emotions if we choose to do so, but oftentimes we don’t. Not when we’ve developed ourselves in ways that we merely react to them.
Biologically, we are wired to think, talk and act in a way that makes it the easiest for us. And what makes it the easiest for us are the patterns we subconsciously form with our thoughts—and further reinforce with our emotions.
Once we’ve created a thought and empowered it with emotions, we make it into a permanent belief and later pattern.
So remember that your ex isn’t sitting at home crying and trying to improve his or her behaviors and patterns. Your ex is too busy doing the things he or she loves the most. This includes self-distraction and the enjoyment of relief.
You on the other hand, probably want to improve as you got hit by the breakup blues. You want to learn about the reasons behind the breakup and understand the breakup dynamics.
This sets you on the path to self-discovery.
Before your breakup, you didn’t care much about any of this breakup stuff. You probably didn’t even know it existed. You had your own hobbies and activities you enjoyed and didn’t think about what you’d do if you broke up.
The fact that you are reading this post means that you’re open-minded and ready to absorb information. You don’t need to memorize this post word by word to improve. All you have to do is take in the information you find valuable and you’ll slowly rewire your brain and improve in ways you need to.
The same goes for your ex, but your ex isn’t reading or learning anything. Your ex will probably become interested in self-improvement much later when your ex gets hit by karma and has no choice but to improve.
Will karma get my ex?
Karma will unquestionably hit your ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend. It’s only a matter of time before the roles reverse and your ex pays for his or her wrongs.
Continuous bad actions always catch up to you and smite you when you least expect them to. This normally happens when you’re in your most vulnerable state and don’t see karma coming.
Just to remind you, the most vulnerable state doesn’t always mean that you are depressed and out of luck. You usually become the most vulnerable when you are the happiest and don’t see karma coming.
So bear in mind that karma hits cheating ex-girlfriends, narcissists, liars, thieves, and anyone harming others.
It plays no favorites.
When you do a disservice to others and live a selfish life, bad results always come back around to you. It’s the law of attraction.
So if your ex treated you poorly and left you for someone else, he or she is will have to pay for it in one way or another. It might take time, but eventually, your ex will cross paths with the wrong person and feel his or her wrath.
And even if your ex hides in the basement and doesn’t interact with anyone, your ex will still get hit by karma. Just in other ways.
Drug dealers, criminals, and various dangerous people are aware of their improper behavior. They know they have completely destroyed their karma a long time ago, so they must now live in fear, worry guilt, shame, and self-doubt and hide.
Your ex might not get affected to that degree, but the same principles apply.
Your ex still:
- Commits karmic injustice
- Feels good for feeling empowered
- Realizes what he or she has done
- Feels guilty
- Temporarily ruins his or her karma
I say temporarily because people can redeem their karma. They just have to learn from their mistakes and swear an oath not to make the same mistakes in the future.
Although chances are small—especially right after the breakup, your ex must first get punished for what he or she has done. People don’t really learn the nice way, and neither will your ex.
Not for as long as he or she is happy and doesn’t regret anything.
Always remember that your ex could one day get hit by karma and you won’t even know about it. Your ex could just check up on you to see how you’re doing and then disappear again.
My ex hurt me badly
I understand that your ex has hurt you severely once or multiple times and shattered your world. He or she likely acted coldly toward you during and after the breakup and refused to give you closure. Your ex probably even destroyed your self-esteem and coincidentally, ruined your dreams with his or her selfish actions.
Because your ex has hurt you horribly, you now want him or her to experience hell. I get that. You think that if you could just punish your ex that your ex would understand how much the relationship meant to you and how hurt you are.
It’s truly unfortunate that your ex doesn’t care much about how much he or she has hurt you right now, but you shouldn’t worry about that too much. Dumpers are in a completely different world after the breakup. They’re focusing on things they want to do, and as a result, forget about their ex.
It’s hard to understand how someone you love or loved can hurt you so much, but breakups can get very ugly. They bring out the worst in people and hurt both dumpees and dumpers in different ways.
You’re likely asking yourself, “Why doesn’t my ex-boyfriend/ex-girlfriend care? Why am I the only one hurting?
The truth is that your ex was in pain before the breakup. It wasn’t the kind of pain you’re going through now, but it was some kind of discontent nonetheless. For that reason, your ex is now tired of the relationship and needs some alone time.
Here’s a question from me to you. Do you know what the most difficult part of the breakup is?
It’s not just losing a person you care about. It’s seeing that your former boyfriend or girlfriend doesn’t care about you. The most awful feeling is when you know that your ex left you behind and moved on – possibly with someone else.
That’s a devastating punch to the gut.
Can you wish bad karma on someone?
As Earl Nightingale says, give karma enough time to get your ex and deliver the never-failing and painful blow. Your ex will get hit by karma. I can guarantee you that.
Unfortunately or fortunately, depending on your preferences, you will not care about it when it happens.
Karma does not care, nor does it listen to anyone. The more you want something bad to happen to someone you know, the more negativity you will attract into your own life.
Wishing karma on your ex is dangerous because you can become obsessed with seeking justice. And when you become dependent on your ex’s misfortune for your happiness, life gets really, really sad and miserable.
You stop worrying about yourself and try to bring your ex down just to feel better.
That’s not a productive way to live. You should focus on making your life better rather than your ex’s worse.
I want my ex to suffer
If you’re hoping your ex gets hit by karma, you’re putting your own good karma at risk. You’re deliberately stooping to your ex’s level and expecting the laws of the universe to deliver the punishing blow.
Wanting your ex to suffer the way you did, however, will not bring you justice, nor will it make you feel better forever.
The most you will get out of it is a quick adrenaline rush and an evil grin on your face. And that’s it.
So trust me when I say that if something really, really bad happens to your ex that you’ll realize you don’t want your ex to suffer at all. Not even if your ex slept with your best friend and betrayed you more than anyone before.
This is true even if your ex absolutely diminished your worth and scarred you deeply. You just won’t find joy in seeing your ex suffer once he or she finally gets hit by karma.
Wishing bad karma on your ex is, therefore, very bad for your own conscience and your healing process.
It holds you back from moving on and leaving the past where it belongs – in the past. You don’t need more negativity in your life, do you? I reckon that the breakup was traumatic enough and that you’d rather attract good things into your life.
Things that actually matter.
Seeing your ex suffer as a result of bad karma would only add more weight to your already-sinking boat. At the moment, your boat has holes in it so you need to fix it.
Dear reader, you don’t need to wish bad karma on your ex. If your ex hurt you badly, karma is already on its way to your ex. It might have a few other stops to make first but it will eventually come knocking on your ex’s doors.
The scary part about karma is that it doesn’t always knock. It comes barging through the doors, hitting people in the face.
No signs, no warning, only payback.
Forgive an ex that’s hurt you
To forgive means to forget and to forget means to forgive. One cannot occur without the other. It takes great strength and courage to forgive those who hurt you, but you need to do what’s right, not what feels right.
You must go against your nature (if it’s telling you to punish your ex) and let go of vengeful thoughts.
Forgiving an ex that’s hurt you badly won’t be easy and it will take little time. But rest assured that the reward will be worth the effort.
Always forgive your enemies—nothing annoys them so much.
Oscar Wilde
Keep in mind that it doesn’t make you a bad person for wanting karma to get your ex. You’re obviously hurt and need reassurance. But it does, however, make you a great person for forgiving your ex for hurting you.
Are you hoping that karma will hit your ex? Let me know whether you want your ex to suffer for dumping you and hurting you in the comments section below the article.
And if you’re looking for someone to knock some sense into you so you don’t act on instinct and regret it later, get in touch with us here.
My name is Zan and I’m the founder of Magnet of Success. I enjoy writing realistic relationship and breakup articles and helping readers heal and grow. With more than 5 years of experience in the self-improvement, relationship, and breakup sphere, my goal is to provide advice that fosters positivity and success and avoids preventable mistakes and pain. Buy me a coffee, learn more about me, or get in touch today.
Hi Diana.
I’m sorry you’re going through this. You invested heavily into this person and expected honesty and commitment in return. Sadly, the guy didn’t live up to his promises. He detached rather quickly and left you when you got emotionally hooked. The fact that he was his first didn’t make a difference. He just didn’t feel a connection anymore. I don’t know why that happened, but it’s probably got something to do with his emotional availability or relationship mentality.
You will get through this, Diana. It will take a while, but you’ll recover and see him for who he is.
Hang in there!
Zan
What do you consider actions taken (possible examples: email, letter via solicitor, newspaper ad, court) to be paid back money owed by an ex?
Hi Andrea.
If things ended well, you can reach out yourself. But if the reach out makes you anxious (which it probably does), you should consider asking your or your ex’s friends and family for help. You want to avoid getting hurt.
Kind regards,
Zan
Hi Zan,
Such a great post. I saved this so I can look back and read it when I need to. I’m inspired by all your posts they are so true and so good!
So my ex fiancé and I were about to get married in 2 months. My ex was not listening to my feelings didn’t want to spend any alone time with me and constantly argued with me on the topic of my needs. We lived with his parents and we had to reside in his bedroom together. That’s not what was not what was promised to me prior to moving in but I got stuck with it and was just doing my best to live like that. All I was asking for was some space for ourselves just the two of us on weekends and some evenings my ex didn’t want to and would punish me through silent treatment, anger etc. I was hurt and upset venting to my mom via text. Behind my back when I went out to get a coffee and take a breather I realized I forgot my Apple Watch behind. When I got back he had gotten into my watch and read through my conversations with my mom took pics of them and showed and read them to his family who was residing with. He screamed in my face swore and kicked me out. He kicked me out homeless, cleaned our joint bank account out, left me with only 100$ to my name. And was extremely mean. Got his entire family against me and decided to cancel the whole wedding the same day.
The conversations I had were
Private between my mother and I. It was just me venting to her about how I felt, how he made me feel and how his parents would make me feel sometimes which was not always kind.
The context of the conversations were just my hurt feelings and anger in the moment. I felt he invaded my privacy and was looking for an out. He tried to say that was the cherry on top- meaning other things were making him want to leave.
Irregardless I’ve never been left in such a cruel, mean way. I never even got a proper 30-60 day eviction notice, and we were paying rent. I also was left with barely any money to survive off of and he got to justify it all and be cold and never speak to me again.
I really hope karma is real and I really hope that while I’m now working on myself, one day the boomerang effect comes to him.
Hi Rachel.
Thanks for reading and saving the article.
Karma will get your ex, be assured of that. A person who behaves like this is going to anger the wrong person one day. The guy didn’t sympathize with your pain. Instead, he took it personally and got mad at you for sharing relationship “secrets” with your family. He basically got his ego bruised and retaliated by hurting you.
Some day, you’ll see that he wasn’t the right guy for you. What he did to you during and especially after the relationship was downright cruel. By kicking you out, he broke the law and revealed his true personality. Look closely at what he did so you don’t overfocus on the good memories.
Hang in there, Rachel.
Sincerely,
Zan
Rachel,
Zed, here. I just wanted to add to Zane’s sound advice. Karma can take its time to happen (it accumulated over 40 years in my case. See my post below for the larger story), so don’t dwell on that aspect too much. It can become a distraction in itself if you are not careful. More importantly, you have to understand that you have gotten an enormous gift and dodged a long life of misery. The price paid is very small compared to the price you would have paid if you had actually gotten married. Count your blessing and move on.
Focus on this latter point and use the lesson to grow into a stronger and more self-assured person. Focus on your positives, rather than your former fiancées negatives.
Best of luck to you!
Sincerely,
Zed
A slightly different situation here. My ex changed the locks on our apartment 4 decades ago and dumped all my belongings on our porch. When I returned home from work late that night, I found myself locked out of my home without warning. Her plane was to replace me as her husband and she already had someone lined up for the position. Months later, we happened to meet in a bar one evening, and she begged me to return home, saying that she had made a ‘terrible mistake’ and realized she lost her best friend when she locked me out. I refused to return to our home, but agreed to some trial dates to see how it played out. Each time we met (there were no physical relations at all, as I refused to return to our old home during this trial period) she pleaded with me to come home immediately. During our first weekend ‘date’ together, she informed me that she changed her mind and wasn’t sure she wanted to end her affair yet.
So I did. After that weekend, I realized I would be a fool to continue this charade. So I called her up and told her it was over and to finish filing the divorce papers. This was the second smartest thing I ever did. The first was marrying the wonderful woman I met three years later. My life has been so much better in this latter relationship I all but forget my ex.
Here we come to the crux: Things did not go so well for my ex. I only recently learned this, but she married the other guy and he turned out to be a mess. The court records show a laundry list of creditor court actions, mortgage foreclosures, even losing an home to a Sheriff’s auction, etc., etc. the list has to be seen to be believed. They are now separated and she is reportedly buried in debt. More recently, her son was jailed for some terrible crimes. So, the karmic thing has already taken place, completely without my involvement or knowledge. Thing only thing that has changed is that now I know these things have happened to her. She has kept all this history hidden from friends and family.
All I want to do is to let her know that I know all this history. That’s it. Nothing more.
What are your thoughts on this?
Hi Zed.
Looks like karma has hit your ex hard. She didn’t just pay for leaving you, but for not doing anything to improve and change. This woman monkey-branched, thinking it would solve all her problems. Instead, it made it worse and triggered regret. Since the guy didn’t want her to leave, he probably asked her for another chance and eventually married her. That allowed him to make his issues hers as well.
There’s no need to tell her you know everything. Leave her alone and life your life.
Kind regards,
Zan
Thank you, Zan. Letting ‘the sleeping dog lie’ is almost always the wisest course. It really is a serious temptation to send her a short missive letting her know what I know, and it will take a serious bit of willpower not to do so. Hopefully, my better angels will prevail.
Thanks again for confirming my better instincts.
Hi Zed.
You’ve got to be strong and resist temptations. Don’t break NC just to tell her what you know. Talk to other people about the things that bother you.
Best,
Zan
Please do reply. My girl cheated on me and left me for the guy she cheated on me with. She promised me marriage and she used to say that “she can’t live without me”. She even told me that she wants to marry me in radhe-krishna temple in mathura (ancient hindu temple of lord krishna). She even asked me to gift her radhe-krishna idol saying that “it will be good for marrying you love”. She knew that after dad’s death I’m suffering a lot and that my relatives are trying to kick me and my mom out of the house. She knew i was struggling and am working hard for our future together. Yet she cheated on me and left me despite knowing all those sufferings of mine. I even took a stand for her in my family and in front of her mother as well. She treated me very badly in front of her mother as well and said to leave. I went into depression and taking treatment for it. Please tell me. Will karma make her pay for all that she did to me? I really need your honest answer ma’am.
Hi Anurag Pal.
Karma will get her when the time is right. It might take a while, but if she keeps treating people this way and doesn’t improve, it’s only a matter of time before she betrays and angers the wrong person.
Hang in there!
Zan
I knew someone who was quite haughty about himself and I noticed at a bar that he would pick on this guy who had some real human issues. I asked him, “Why do you pick on him – aren’t you afraid of karma?” He said, “I don’t believe in karma” to which I replied, “That’s okay, because karma believes in you.”
Hi JP.
People don’t need to believe in Karma to get hit by it. If you’re nasty to others, eventually someone will be nasty to you. That’s the law.
Zan
Hi my name is Tanya been my relationship for eight years and thing he did to me was uncalled for he move on faster then I thought and the part that hurts the most was when he rub in the front of face when I was crying my heart out he said he would ever hurt me but did threw all my stuff way in the dumpster and him his new girlfriend started talking about me behind my back that what hurt the worst and guess everybody tell me move on how can I what him his new girlfriend did both them deserve Karma she don’t know me she going by his word
Hi Tanya.
She’s taking his side. I know it’s hard not to get affected by it, but they’re saying bad things about you because that’s who they are. It’s got nothing to do with you. Karma will get them when the time is right. You probably won’t care when that happens.
For now, stay far away from them and work on rebuilding your self-esteem. Have faith that everything will work out one way or another!
Kind regards,
Zan
I will not lie to say that I was pondering some dark thoughts.
I was but no longer am! When I found out the person I met was not quite what she seemed I was stunned however for a time before that I was in some tumult, anger and pain.
Had I found out some of this shit when I was in that phase, who knows how I would have played it.
Hi Paddy.
It’s normal to have dark thoughts and feel angry. Acting on those thoughts and feelings, on the other hand, is not normal or okay. You have to be better than your ex because if you handle it poorly, you’ll develop yourself in such a way that you poorly react to stressors and people who hurt you.
Sincerely,
Zan
Zan,
Some very awful people lead great lives, just saying. Putin won’t leave Ukrainians alone, the American courts won’t let women control their bodies, and so on. The common denominator between these? Putin has power and wealth and so do American judges. These judges and dictators lead great lives DESPITE the suffering they inflict yes? So where is Karma? Please explain this concept in more detail. My understanding is people think Karma exists, because it’s an idea they use to console themselves. It comforts them that there is justice out there waiting. So people invented the idea of Karma as a way to console themselves, and as a belief system to enforce good conduct—please educate me if I am mistaken.
Hi Rinca.
Dictators may get away without punishment, but they have to watch their backs all their lives and trust only their most loyal servants. Because of their actions, they live in fear and isolation. Their karma is that they’re forced to live a life an ordinary person wouldn’t have to. So don’t think of karma merely as punishment. Think about the quality of life or the way that person has to live for the rest of his/her life.
Kind regards,
Zan
Bullsh*t. Karma doesn’t exist. If something bad happens to an ex after a month, a year or 10, it has nothing to do with you or how they treated you. You’re either going to strike when the steel is still hot or move on by ignoring forever the one that hurt you. Good things happen to bad people, bad things happen to good people.
John, I think you’re looking at it the wrong way. It’s not like there’s some divine force that brings misfortune upon them – though some would claim there is. It’s more that people who screw over partners badly, cruelly, tend to have issues that will lead them blindly into situations where they will get screwed over themselves. Their own bad choices create the ‘karma’.
Hi JohnD.
Bad things happen to good and bad people. But they tend to happen to bad people more because they aren’t mindful of their actions. I agree with Doug.
Sincerely,
Zan
So Karma will get him, right? And we aren’t supposed to wish that because then we mess up our own karma. Ok got it. But what the heck happened to have me go through this in the first place? Karma? Boomerang? I never hurt a soul and now it’s been ten years and I’m still struggling. Sometimes it’s like victim shaming “just get over it. Forgive him. Move on. Blah blah. He will get his karma cuz he did wrong” well great. No he does the crime and I do the time. Why did I get hit with that karma to begin with?!?
You’re not supposed to wish bad karma on others. You just have to know that people get struck by karma when they do bad things. That’s because people who do bad things tend to make the same mistakes until they cross paths with the wrong person.
You shouldn’t think of your breakup as your karma. Breakups happen because someone isn’t ready for a relationship.
Sincerely,
Zan