Ahh, the sweet joy of karma. Nothing sounds more harmonizing, looks more appealing, and tastes sweeter than good friend Karma.
As soon as we get past the depression stage of a breakup and transition into the anger stage, boy do our feelings change.
Suddenly, our mentality switches from a desperate state to a more self-respectful one, giving us an opportunity to finally see our exes for the people they are.
That means we get to stand up for ourselves and take care of ourselves. We may still want our ex back, but now, we want justice for our exes’ dishonesty and treachery. We don’t just want our exes to go through what we did.
We want more.
We expect our exes to pay dearly for the pain they’ve caused so we can feel that we’re not suffering alone and that our exes can take responsibility. Responsibility for treating us worse than a stranger.
In the anger stage of a breakup, we’re so angry that we demand immediate punishment for those who humiliated us, abandoned us, and knocked us down to the ground. We think to ourselves “I have suffered for days and weeks because of you. Now it’s your turn to pay.”
Little do we know that our ex’s suffering won’t make fix what our ex has broken. It might put a bandage on our wounds, but it won’t heal them and help us develop ourselves into stronger, maturer, and more successful people.
But if you’re wondering, “Will karma get my ex for treating me badly,” rest assured that it will. The only problem is that it won’t happen when you want it to. It will likely happen when you’re already mainly or fully over your ex and don’t care about the things your ex said and did to hurt you.
This post is for people who want karma to hit their ex and validate their feelings.
I want karma to get my ex so badly
Dear reader, I understand exactly how you feel because I went through a painful rejection as well. If karma was tangible and I could have bought it, I would have sold all my belongings and run into the first shop to buy all the karma I could afford.
I honestly believed that as long as my ex-partner was having an amazing time without me, I would never be content on my own. I thought that my ex didn’t have the right to be happy when I was miserable, so I wanted to take matters of justice into my own hands.
As I yearned for revenge and justice for her bad post-breakup treatment, my heart raced and my mind became blurry. I came up with 100 different ways for my ex to get hit by karma and expected her to pay for her wrongdoings.
I am not ashamed to admit that I have visualized many bad things happening to my ex and would sometimes contemplate her running back to me to say she’d made a huge mistake.
But when I realized what my crazy obsession with revenge and karmic justice was doing to me, I reluctantly took a step back and asked myself. “Why would my ex’s unhappiness bring me joy? It would certainly make me feel better in the heat of the moment but not after I’ve calmed down. It would just make me into a vengeful person who hurts others to get a kick out of it.”
And that would make me no better than my ex. It’d make me impulsive and vengeful, so I chose not to take revenge. I knew that I shouldn’t be the person to punish my ex because there are plenty of people out there who would do the dirty job for me.
Those people would teach my ex lessons whereas I would just look petty and give my ex another reason to stay away from me.
Plotting revenge on your ex
Had I decided to take matters of karmic justice into my own hands and do something despicable, like post my ex’s pictures online, I would end up being the bad guy. My vengeful actions would show my ex that she’s gotten to me and that I lack control over my actions.
Not only would my ex tell her people what a bad person I am for doing something nasty but all my bad actions would sooner rather than later come flying back at me. My family and friends would find out what I’ve done, mutual friends would side with my ex, and I would feel horrible and blame myself even more.
That’s why if you’re plotting revenge on your ex, I strongly encourage you not to do it. It’s okay and normal to wish bad things to happen to your ex as this is something you’re doing to cope with your ex’s unfair actions.
But don’t act on those plans or you’re seriously going to regret it. Ask anyone who’s done something nasty. He or she will convince you that revenge is for the weak-minded and that stronger people walk away with dignity.
If you’ve already done something bad, though and your ex hasn’t blocked you yet, then at the very least apologize to your ex. Say that emotions got the best of you and that you’ll be focusing on yourself from now on.
Revenge is satisfying
Is revenge sweet? Yes, it is. It tastes like the sweetest candy this world has to offer.
But is it short-lived? You bet!
I’m sure you can think of many ways to bring your ex down to his or her knees and make him or her sorry for ever crossing paths with you. You can do that and get your justice today – probably this very moment from the comfort of your home.
But before you do that, know that your bad actions will definitely affect you and your good karma.
Provided you care about your image, you will without a doubt regret taking revenge and wish you’d just left your ex alone. Revenge isn’t just about teaching your ex a lesson – to be smarter in the next relationship. It’s personal as your goal is to destroy your ex’s life and force your ex to struggle emotionally.
You, therefore, need to control yourself even if your ex cheated on you and monkey-branched onto someone else.
It’s what your loved ones expect you to do and what you should do if you respect yourself.
By acting on impulse, you won’t prove that you’re a badass and in control. You’ll prove that you lack control and that you’re vengeful and a danger to yourself.
Your friends and family will probably find out what you did—and something tells me you’ll care about that once you’ve calmed down and collected your thoughts.
So instead of completely ruining your image of the person you are and wish to become in the future, don’t go down that path. There are many more suitable ways to vent your frustrations and remain a person of high value.
A great way to start detaching and transforming yourself is by commenting on this article or by joining the community on the Magnet of Success Discord channel.
There are a million things you can do to turn your attention away from unwanted thoughts and feel better as a result. I urge you to focus on improving yourself rather than destroying your ex.
When you cool off and recover, the work you’ve invested in yourself will decide whether you’ve grown, regressed, or remained the same.
Keep in mind that karma always strikes—whether it’s because you’ve done something terrible or because your ex treated you badly. The undeniable fact is that it hits people when they least expect it.
Yes, karma can be that sneaky.
Sometimes all that needs to happen is for enough time to pass for bad karma to build up. Once it’s built up, it strikes hard and unexpectedly. And that’s when people normally learn their lessons.
Well, at least those who reflect on their behavior.
How does karma work?
People who get hurt by the dumper they trusted demand immediate punishment. They want karma to hit their ex the very moment they get hurt.
If it were possible, dumpees would immediately pick up the phone and call the God of punishments to make misery rain down on their ex.
In doing so, they would get even and bask in their ability to manipulate their ex’s feelings. This is what dumpees want. They want to know that they can influence their ex. They especially want to see that they can take happiness away from their ex because doing so reassures them that they matter.
It’s the dumpees’ belief that by doing something mean, their exes would quickly regret their actions and express sorrow. But karma, unfortunately, doesn’t work that way. The dumpee isn’t the bringer of justice. He or she lost the ability to teach the dumper a lesson a long time ago.
The only thing who can teach the dumper a valuable lesson is life itself. Life can help your ex ignore the need to work on himself or herself and encourage your ex to get involved with someone who doesn’t tolerate the kind of behavior you did.
That’s when karma will punish your ex for thinking he or she can get away by refusing to grow.
I’ve spent countless hours looking for the best explanation of karma and learning how it works, and finally, I believe I came across the best explanation by Earl Nightingale.
In his book Lead the field, I have found the most reasonable and realistic definition of karma I could find.
Earl Nightingale describes karma as a boomerang. All actions—good or bad come back to us.
He says, “Every time a person does something dishonest, he is in effect tossing a boomerang. How far out it will travel, no one knows. How great or how small a circle it will traverse, only time will tell. But it will, eventually it must, finally come swift and unseen around behind that person and deliver its never-failing and painful blow to the back of his neck.”
If a person thinks positively and does positive things, he or she gets positive results. And if a person thinks negatively and does negative things, he or she yields negative results. That’s why you can be certain that karma will hit your ex. You can’t expect it not to.
Especially if your ex is severely undeveloped.
Hit and run
People don’t usually hurt someone and then never do it again. Sure, some convicts learn their lessons and become better people, but your ex is no convict. Your ex got away without paying a price for it and will, therefore, have to pay for it eventually.
So really, your ex is in a completely different category.
Your ex thinks of himself or herself as a victim, which means that your ex cannot and will not change at all.
If convicts take years of confinement to change their belief system (or don’t at all), don’t think that your ex can do it in a day.
It’s preposterous to think the dumper will sit down and try to grow from this experience. Your ex just wants to focus on self-distraction and moving on. He or she has no time and patience for personal development. Your ex is not ready for it. Not until karma strikes him or her hard.
Changing one’s belief system takes time—a lot of time. It takes appropriately 21 days of a conscious effort to develop or erase a bad habit.
Moreover, it takes three times that long to make it a permanent part of us without us. So theoretically, the amount of time it takes to correct bad karma depends on how much he or she has sinned.
I can’t say how long it will take your ex to correct his or her bad karma because I don’t know your ex. I don’t know what your ex has done and what he or she is doing to grow right now. But I can say that if your ex is focusing on enjoying himself or herself that your ex won’t improve karma at all.
Your ex will just carry certain behavioral patterns into the next relationship and act similarly as before.
As you sow, so shall you reap
What you give is what you get. It doesn’t get any simpler than that.
If your ex thinks, feels, speaks, acts, and reacts in a certain way, you can expect the same from this person in the future. You can expect your ex not to change these things because your ex lacks the will or need to change them.
He or she is focusing on moving instead.
One does not change his or her beliefs simply by moving on. As you know, people are creatures of habit. We are controlled by our thoughts and follow certain patterns. That’s what makes us us.
We can control negative thoughts and emotions if we choose to do so, but oftentimes we don’t. Not when we’ve developed ourselves in ways that we merely react to them.
Biologically, we are wired to think, talk and act in a way that makes it the easiest for us. And what makes it the easiest for us are the patterns we subconsciously form with our thoughts—and further reinforce with our emotions.
Once we’ve created a thought and empowered it with emotions, we make it into a permanent belief and later pattern.
So remember that your ex isn’t sitting at home crying and trying to improve his or her behaviors and patterns. Your ex is too busy doing the things he or she loves the most. This includes self-distraction and the enjoyment of relief.
You on the other hand, probably want to improve as you got hit by the breakup blues. You want to learn about the reasons behind the breakup and understand the breakup dynamics.
This sets you on the path to self-discovery.
Before your breakup, you didn’t care much about any of this breakup stuff. You probably didn’t even know it existed. You had your own hobbies and activities you enjoyed and didn’t think about what you’d do if you broke up.
The fact that you are reading this post means that you’re open-minded and ready to absorb information. You don’t need to memorize this post word by word to improve. All you have to do is take in the information you find valuable and you’ll slowly rewire your brain and improve in ways you need to.
The same goes for your ex, but your ex isn’t reading or learning anything. Your ex will probably become interested in self-improvement much later when your ex gets hit by karma and has no choice but to improve.
Will karma get my ex?
Karma will unquestionably hit your ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend. It’s only a matter of time before the roles reverse and your ex pays for his or her wrongs.
Continuous bad actions always catch up to you and smite you when you least expect them to. This normally happens when you’re in your most vulnerable state and don’t see karma coming.
Just to remind you, the most vulnerable state doesn’t always mean that you are depressed and out of luck. You usually become the most vulnerable when you are the happiest and don’t see karma coming.
So bear in mind that karma hits cheating ex-girlfriends, narcissists, liars, thieves, and anyone harming others.
It plays no favorites.
When you do a disservice to others and live a selfish life, bad results always come back around to you. It’s the law of attraction.
So if your ex treated you poorly and left you for someone else, he or she is will have to pay for it in one way or another. It might take time, but eventually, your ex will cross paths with the wrong person and feel his or her wrath.
And even if your ex hides in the basement and doesn’t interact with anyone, your ex will still get hit by karma. Just in other ways.
Drug dealers, criminals, and various dangerous people are aware of their improper behavior. They know they have completely destroyed their karma a long time ago, so they must now live in fear, worry guilt, shame, and self-doubt and hide.
Your ex might not get affected to that degree, but the same principles apply.
Your ex still:
- Commits karmic injustice
- Feels good for feeling empowered
- Realizes what he or she has done
- Feels guilty
- Temporarily ruins his or her karma
I say temporarily because people can redeem their karma. They just have to learn from their mistakes and swear an oath not to make the same mistakes in the future.
Although chances are small—especially right after the breakup, your ex must first get punished for what he or she has done. People don’t really learn the nice way, and neither will your ex.
Not for as long as he or she is happy and doesn’t regret anything.
Always remember that your ex could one day get hit by karma and you won’t even know about it. Your ex could just check up on you to see how you’re doing and then disappear again.
My ex hurt me badly
I understand that your ex has hurt you severely once or multiple times and shattered your world. He or she likely acted coldly toward you during and after the breakup and refused to give you closure. Your ex probably even destroyed your self-esteem and coincidentally, ruined your dreams with his or her selfish actions.
Because your ex has hurt you horribly, you now want him or her to experience hell. I get that. You think that if you could just punish your ex that your ex would understand how much the relationship meant to you and how hurt you are.
It’s truly unfortunate that your ex doesn’t care much about how much he or she has hurt you right now, but you shouldn’t worry about that too much. Dumpers are in a completely different world after the breakup. They’re focusing on things they want to do, and as a result, forget about their ex.
It’s hard to understand how someone you love or loved can hurt you so much, but breakups can get very ugly. They bring out the worst in people and hurt both dumpees and dumpers in different ways.
You’re likely asking yourself, “Why doesn’t my ex-boyfriend/ex-girlfriend care? Why am I the only one hurting?
The truth is that your ex was in pain before the breakup. It wasn’t the kind of pain you’re going through now, but it was some kind of discontent nonetheless. For that reason, your ex is now tired of the relationship and needs some alone time.
Here’s a question from me to you. Do you know what the most difficult part of the breakup is?
It’s not just losing a person you care about. It’s seeing that your former boyfriend or girlfriend doesn’t care about you. The most awful feeling is when you know that your ex left you behind and moved on – possibly with someone else.
That’s a devastating punch to the gut.
Can you wish bad karma on someone?
As Earl Nightingale says, give karma enough time to get your ex and deliver the never-failing and painful blow. Your ex will get hit by karma. I can guarantee you that.
Unfortunately or fortunately, depending on your preferences, you will not care about it when it happens.
Karma does not care, nor does it listen to anyone. The more you want something bad to happen to someone you know, the more negativity you will attract into your own life.
Wishing karma on your ex is dangerous because you can become obsessed with seeking justice. And when you become dependent on your ex’s misfortune for your happiness, life gets really, really sad and miserable.
You stop worrying about yourself and try to bring your ex down just to feel better.
That’s not a productive way to live. You should focus on making your life better rather than your ex’s worse.
I want my ex to suffer
If you’re hoping your ex gets hit by karma, you’re putting your own good karma at risk. You’re deliberately stooping to your ex’s level and expecting the laws of the universe to deliver the punishing blow.
Wanting your ex to suffer the way you did, however, will not bring you justice, nor will it make you feel better forever.
The most you will get out of it is a quick adrenaline rush and an evil grin on your face. And that’s it.
So trust me when I say that if something really, really bad happens to your ex that you’ll realize you don’t want your ex to suffer at all. Not even if your ex slept with your best friend and betrayed you more than anyone before.
This is true even if your ex absolutely diminished your worth and scarred you deeply. You just won’t find joy in seeing your ex suffer once he or she finally gets hit by karma.
Wishing bad karma on your ex is, therefore, very bad for your own conscience and your healing process.
It holds you back from moving on and leaving the past where it belongs – in the past. You don’t need more negativity in your life, do you? I reckon that the breakup was traumatic enough and that you’d rather attract good things into your life.
Things that actually matter.
Seeing your ex suffer as a result of bad karma would only add more weight to your already-sinking boat. At the moment, your boat has holes in it so you need to fix it.
Dear reader, you don’t need to wish bad karma on your ex. If your ex hurt you badly, karma is already on its way to your ex. It might have a few other stops to make first but it will eventually come knocking on your ex’s doors.
The scary part about karma is that it doesn’t always knock. It comes barging through the doors, hitting people in the face.
No signs, no warning, only payback.
Forgive an ex that’s hurt you
To forgive means to forget and to forget means to forgive. One cannot occur without the other. It takes great strength and courage to forgive those who hurt you, but you need to do what’s right, not what feels right.
You must go against your nature (if it’s telling you to punish your ex) and let go of vengeful thoughts.
Forgiving an ex that’s hurt you badly won’t be easy and it will take little time. But rest assured that the reward will be worth the effort.
Always forgive your enemies—nothing annoys them so much.
Oscar Wilde
Keep in mind that it doesn’t make you a bad person for wanting karma to get your ex. You’re obviously hurt and need reassurance. But it does, however, make you a great person for forgiving your ex for hurting you.
Are you hoping that karma will hit your ex? Let me know whether you want your ex to suffer for dumping you and hurting you in the comments section below the article.
And if you’re looking for someone to knock some sense into you so you don’t act on instinct and regret it later, get in touch with us here.
My name is Zan and I’m the founder of Magnet of Success. I enjoy writing realistic relationship and breakup articles and helping readers heal and grow. With more than 5 years of experience in the self-improvement, relationship, and breakup sphere, my goal is to provide advice that fosters positivity and success and avoids preventable mistakes and pain. Buy me a coffee, learn more about me, or get in touch today.
My girlfriend of 1.5 years left me a month ago yesterday for her ex-boyfriend (who she told me did awful things to her and that they had a severely toxic relationship). This will be their 5th time getting back together. She talked to him a month before leaving me. She gave our dog away to her mom and moved in with him a WEEK after leaving me. She destroyed my whole entire world, moved 30 mins away from her friends and family and work with no car, and now lives in a 2b/1ba with 3-4 people at the house always. It sucks, and my heart is broken, but I genuinely believe karma will get her once their honeymoon phase is over. I pray for it sometimes. She’s cheated in every relationship she has been in, so we will see. I hope that this article is right, that when the other shoe drops for her I won’t care.
I Have a Deep Rooted Hatred for my EX-Wife it’s ben years Sense the Divorce and when I Think about her all the lies Betrayal enrages me I Just don’t talk to her or See Her at all for any reason I Can’t believe it still hurts this Bad
I met this girl back in February before all this nonsense started. At first, since i met her, I always told her that I will always be there for her and watch her back. She would get picked on alot at work, and I always defended her. Couple of months later, she decided to quit, and take her business experience elsewhere, but we kept in contact with each other. We started messing around and dating. We really grew into each other, she would tell me she loved me and I would say it back. We would talk about out future like traveling, a house, a life together and maybe possibly having kids. She went on a 2 week trip to Mexico, and her mentality suddenly changed. She would be super cold with me, wouldn’t talk to me in the same way ahe used to… Sunday June 28, she decided to end things with me.. She never gave me a legitimate answer or at least some closure to have a peace of mind… I was always there for here, I loved her in every way possible. She just lead me on.. It hurt so bad that day I lost my head. I couldn’t concentrate. Later I find out she did it because shes been talking to her ex. I immediately felt rage, anger, betrayed, humiliated. Like someone just stomped on my heart… I gave her my all and she just used me. I just wish she could feel what I’m going through right now..
Hey Zan,
Do you think that when karma strikes your dumper ex, they remember you and start to think of all the bad things they’ve done to you? Or do memories come back to them later, if at all?
Appreciate the content, keep it up!
Best,
Sal
I am 24 years old and going through a bad phase of my life. My bf broke up with me after 2 years. Our families knew about our relationship and my family was quite happy. But his father was not convinced with our marriage when he got to know that I follow a spiritual sect that was against their religion. They are against following any other sect. He tried to convince his father 2–3 times but failed. Now He has given up on me and blocked me from everywhere., but we still love each other. But he says he can’t go against his family wish. We had physical relations and it is very difficult for me to get over him. We were too close. It’s 2 months now. Flashbacks haunt me. He made promises and got physical with me in the name of marriage. At last, he failed to stand on his words. He didn’t bother to look back even once. I wish he gets someone like him one day.
🙁
Hi Navya.
I’m sorry to hear that your ex wasn’t prepared to fight for you and gave up. Perhaps it’s best that you find someone whose family accepts you and loves you for your beliefs.
Stay strong, Navya!
Zan
To all the people who are still in pain and seeking revenge, just wait. Justice will prevail.
My ex was a terrible human being. The process of healing after the breakup was too hard. I had to see him everyday being happy, checking out other girls and enjoying life while I was on antidepressants. He never stood up for me, even when I supported him always.
I never wanted revenge. I was just wanted the pain to be over. But nature had something else planned for him. After several months I got to hear that he is going through depression. And he is all alone now because of the lockdown. I hope he learnt his lesson and quickly come out of it.
Thank you for sharing your breakup story with us, Satvi. Karma always strikes when we least expect it.
Best,
Zan
My ex burned my life to the ground. She lied. She cheated. She jumped into another relationship during Covid and left me high and dry. After 2 years she dumped me via a sticky note. That was 7 weeks ago. She has not contacted since except to shove her new love in my face with cruelty. I pray daily she gets everything in life she has ever wanted to relieve my anger. I could destroy her life with one email. I wont send it. This is the hardest time I have ever had in my life.
I feel your pain. I left a comment below earlier with a similar story. I’d love revenge right now. The thought of it consumes me. It’s been 7 weeks for me too and it isn’t getting any easier.
Hi Ready.
I know your ex betrayed you, but do your best not to take revenge on her. She’s not worth it. Take it on the chin and let her deal with what she’d done once she gets out of the love phase and reality sinks in.
Best regards,
Zan
I had a breakup recently. Earlier he said that he broke up with me because of his family. He ignored me so badly after that and he also got in contact with a new girl. I have been cheated. He lost interest in me with time. After some days he started to give mixed signals. Sometimes he said he wanted to come back, sometimes not. It felt like he used me and the breakup was so so bad. I suffered a lot. It’s been 1.5 months to breakup and the last time we talked was 5 days ago.
Hi Karishma.
My advice to you is to ask him not to contact you anymore. You need 100% commitment from him and not some indecisive behavior.
Kind regards,
Zan
It’s been exactly 78 days since my ex officially broke up with me. We had a small fight because I caught him lying to me (which was like breaking his promise 3x). I said some harsh things out of anger and radio-silenced him for 3 days because I was bad hurt. When I was finally ready to talk, I apologized and asked to sort things out but he didn’t want to talk to me anymore. He refused to see me. It went on for 2 weeks until he finally said he is not coming back to me anymore because he was convinced that I do not accept him for who he is. He was literally blaming me for all of it, until his last message when he told me he found someone else and that he didn’t tell me immediately before because he thought it was enough that I “left him”. For the record, I never left him. It was just a 3-day me-time to calm myself down and think things through. All the while, he thought I called it quits which made him jump at once to another relationship. That crushed me. I became so dispensable in an instant. He sure did make me feel like worthless piece of trash. And after all these days, I now feel angry at him for making me feel that it was all my fault. And this urge to message him and lash out all of these angry feelings I have for him came today. But I know I have to control myself and consider the consequences. Then I found your article. Thank you. Because this made me decide not to pursue my plan. I will turn out to be bitter, desperate, and simply pathetic if I did. Your article made me realize this.
Your story sounds way to similar to mine Bernadette. I caught my girlfriend of 3 years in a big lie and shut her out for a day. When it was time to talk about it the next day she didn’t come home. She then came home with attitude and strung me along for a week then ended it over a text message. She blocked me and my family on everything and disappeared from my life just like that. This happened about a month ago and I cannot get out of bed. I’m devastated and somedays cannot function at all. I have panic attacks and just want the pain to end. I really hope I can get to the stage where I’m angry with her instead of sad all the time. I don’t know how much more I can take of this feeling.
Trevor, I’m 4 months down the line from the same situation as you.
He left, blamed me for my behaviour and mistrust. Turns out he had someone at work.
I thought I would die. I’ve never experienced trauma to this degree before.
I’ve had maybe 2 contacts from him.
He loved and adored me and vice versa.
I promise it will get better, some days I think I’ve cracked it then an hour later I’m back to hell.
I can have emotional changes hourly it’s very very hard on you.
It will slowly get better. Listen to podcasts, read things like this. Get outside, exercise, meet with friends even for half an hour at a time.
Let it out, cry, feel angry it’s all a process.
I’m growing and learning about myself and things I’d never have had time to do, I now do and I’m staring to feel really good.
I still have the undercurrent of pain but the roles are reversing.
Listen to podcasts about attachment Alan Robage on you tube has really helped me.
You will get there even if you don’t want to right now and anyone else reading this.
Is a slow but necessary process for us that have been hurt. We will evolve and rise, they will remain seeking and jumping place to place to find happiness.
They look like they’re winning at life right now but just focus on you and wait to see what happens. It’ll be worth it in promise 😊
Thanks for this article. My ex was manipulative, controlling and cruel. Firstly, he had a girlfriend, but he convinced me that we had taken a break or were friends, like my friend said, my relationship with my ex was always on his terms, so I couldn’t even accuse him of cheating. Then before he was going to come see my family and I he wanted me to meet some other guy, apparently because he claimed he was doing me a favor, and my cousins wanted me to marry that guy right away and I even told my cousins about my ex. Then my ex decided to tell me that his mother can’t speak English or Hindi, only Telegu, our astrological charts didn’t match (which I was not comfortable about), he misses his ex girlfriend, and she was the only one who could make him happy even after marriage. He then said many mean things like, “I would never marry a girl like you!” And off course he got married to a girl from his community and went off in the sunset, just leaving me to die and explain things to my family. He has no soul or remorse. The ironic thing is even with his ex, he claimed he couldn’t marry her because she was gujurati and he was Telegu. Off course, I was hoping that with me, he could marry me.
I dated a non-commital type for 3 years. On and off. He was emotionally abusive one day, sweet the next. He would always say he didn’t want to be in an official relationship but then do relationship things. I moved 1000 miles away. I got a great job and had a new life, but never met anyone in my new city. Surprisingly the same guy moved to my city, and I thought this is a sign we would finally be in a real relationship. He even bought a house about 15 minutes away from my apartment. For about 10 months everything was great. He was super sweet and supportive. For the most part. I make good money and happily paid for us to go to dinners, nights out at bars, cruises, jet skiing, etc. He didn’t EVER contribute financially. But it’s a real soulmate connection. One I wish we still had together.
Anyway I found out about another women he was seeing while he went back home. I confronted him about it. When he got back we were on the verge of reconciliation, or so I thought. I asked him ONE question about her, and his demeanor changed. And he just said he had to leave, but he promised he’d come back to discuss. 3 days later I get a bullshit message from him. Saying we need space. I begged him to talk but with no avail. I was devastated and it started to show in my work life. So I decided to move back home. I moved back home and got an even better job at a better hospital, with a sweet sensitive doctor boyfriend too. I’m a nurse. I decided to politely warn the woman he cheated with about 2 months later. She told me they never were intimate, and was also very polite. I felt so dumb but didn’t believe her. I tried to apologize to my ex but he ignored me. For months. I was hurt for months, but eventually got lost in work and love. And the pain went away.
I heard from friends that the woman he cheated with me with WAS in fact sleeping with him and he ran back to her. He even lived with her for months. She got tired of him real quick. Apparently he was entertaining a few women besides her. She kicked him out. He returned to his house but couldn’t afford it, and lost the home. He also has very little money to his name. So he turned to his side pieces and eventually one of them let him stay with her. She is a miserable nag I hear. He is miserable with her, but can’t leave. Cause he’s broke, and his income stream was cut off because Of a quarantine Coronavirus situation. I also heard he broke his leg. Ha, oh well.
I like that last bit of info, I’m smiling 😊
Now go live your life and flourish x
Hye, my former boyfriend which is now my ex, left me for someone else. It has been almost a month now and I still miss him. We’ve been on LDR for about 2 months before he broke up with me. Sure, it was my fault for not understanding him and also for doubting him. He said he can’t handle me like this and he went to seek comforts from his girl friend whom he denied having keep in contact for.
I went straight on the indefinite no contact cause I don’t think begging him will do me any goods because he already had someone else. He love her which doesn’t make sense at all if his claim of keeping no contact with her is true.
I tried to accept the fact that his love has change it course. But what I can’t accept is the fact that he lied to me. He lied about having someone else aside from me. He lied when he said he doesn’t have someone else in his mind when I told him myself that it is okay if he tells me he doesn’t want me anymore but please don’t lie, that’s all. Our relationship is toxic anyway but I stay believing that he will change for the better someday. I stay because he was a good person whom I first met. I refuse to leave him even though he hurt me for too many times. I want to be there for him but he blame me for my lack of understanding. Our relationship last for 3 years. I really thought we have something. But boy I’m wrong.
I can accept if he doesn’t want me anymore but the fact that he lied is unbearable. The person who I trust the most have the decency to lie to me.
nope sorry, sometime we can only heal when we see our exes suffer.that sadly is hard to do when they are not in our lives ..its unrealistic to expect people to heal without revenge….that does not mean murder or anything awful of course but exes need to suffer if they left us badly.all this love and kindness is unrealistic…they must suffer…of course get on with your life but sometimes feelings don’t go away.,specially when it seems that they are getting the good things in life and you are not and it is not because they are good people or deserve it.No violence or any stupid actions which put one in prison are advisable or actions that cause harm to others they are with, but I do not wish certain people well and would frankly be delighted to see them in trouble.Perhaps I am a horrible person.Ok I can live with that.Even if its years ago I want them to suffer.
I Absolutely agree with this a hundred percent why should they continue repeat offending to you and others and do well…Years later can be too long to wait and they are still there half the time giving you a hard time… that’s what I’ve found…nothing happening and your still coping there abuse… and literally living with it.. yes you can move on but sometimes they are still there giving hell…
I completely agree with you Cat Else! 100%. I’ve been lied to and strung along for so many years only to find out he was with this other girl and got her pregnant! I’ve never felt so miserable in my entire life simply because I already have trust issues and don’t let anyone into my life easily. He tried so hard and manipulated me because he knew I was emotionally vulnerable. Only to find out he was just using me. I haven’t spoken to him since the corona hit but I see in his social media he is gloating with his life acting as if he is innocent and did nothing wrong. Karma needs to act now. It’s not fair he gets to be happy while I’m hurting.
Great article helped me put things in perspective thanks one of the best i have read so far.
Thank you, Jamie.
Hang in there!
Zan
My husband leaft me after 17 years together nearly married for 3. His feelings change after I fell pregnant with our 3rd child. He leaft me last year and I found out the other month his new girlfriend is my best friend of 20 years she had been ghosting me and now I know why. I ended up in hospital with broken heart syndrome. The worst of it all is he doesn’t think he has done anything wrong doesn’t think anything is his fault and expects everyone to accept. He expects our children too my 10 year old is finding it hard as she loves her like a aunty and still does but wants to be loyal to me and he doesn’t understand just tells my child well she has been nice to you and you ask to see her. But my daughter has known her all her life and doesn’t know what to do. I’m finding it really hard getting out of I want karma now mindset I’m trying to forgive but really don’t know how to. It hurts so much especially when he takes the kids out with her and his family all them has pushed me to the side as well not even asked how I am 😢
Does no contact mean not wishing on birthdays as well??
Do not wish your ex a happy birthday! they will notice your absence
no, you just don’t say anything, your ex doesn’t need your wish at all! they just don’t appreciate and again you will get hurt and humiliated by your ex
Great article like your others I fortunately found and read- I didn’t want karma or revenge but I did go through wanting him to hurt like he hurt me- he didn’t do anything too horrible in the breakup except very much trying to leave the door open and a month later when I messaged to see if things (all the stress and other reasons he gave for needed to step back as he called it) we’re going well for him I got hit with a list of my wrong doings – they felt like trumped up charges – I didn’t try to defend myself at that point – I simply said I was sorry for anything I might have done and was sorry it had not worked out and that I would miss the fun we had and wished him well- he read that message and never responded – that was a month ago so it’s been two months since he first backed up. I was of course devastated more after the month mark and getting his cold distant disinterested message the list of reasons why it was over. I felt embarrassed for even reaching out but since he left it the way he did I was confused and hurt. I am working on myself and taking one day at a time- I tell myself when someone doesn’t want you the reasons don’t really matter. I hope one day very soon I actually believe that- thanks for the whole advice given on your site. They are helping bring clarity to a lot of thoughts I have pondered- C
Hi it’s really lovely, i really did want karma to hit my ex, he told me to wait 5 years for him, ive been waiting over 4years, and use to come to see me, and I found out he is in a relationship, when I mentioned it to him he block me, i felt really hurt, but after reading this I’m going to move on
Much love to you 🌹 this was a great article!
Thank you, Amanda.
I’m glad you liked it.
Best regards,
Zan
Man , I must tell u my story shortly . i recently turned 48 years old . 1 year and one month ago my wife , with whom we ‘d been together some 25 years , dumped me . She monkey branched on me and a few weeks after I left home she was having sex with a 25 year old dude ( the age of our older son)….I cannot describe my feelings of pain , low self steem and obsession. A month after I discovered this , I was diagnosed with colon cancer . She tried to come to me as a friend when she knew this but I rejected her on the basis that if she respected , cared for me and loved me so little as to be getting on the sack with a youngster inmediatly upon separating after so many years together, she was somebody i don’t need close in such a moment of tibulation. I keep no contact as much as i can considering that we have a younger 12 year son as well . Anyway , don’t want to go on for too long , just tell you that after this whole mess started I began to devour websites and articles on : recovering fm break ups, getting ex back, feelings etc., etc., and just yesterday dicovered yours . it’s the one i most have felt identified with . Your articles touch a lot of the issues that keep me obssessed . i know i have a long way to go before getting better ( my illness seems to be under check now and i hope it won’t be an obstacle on my way to healing and self improvement ) I know that I still feel a lot on resentment (after all I was reading an article on vengeance ) I still feel that desire for retribution or vengeance or justice or the 3 of ’em….Thanks 4 yr articles they are interesting and very real!!
Personally, I wouldn’t necessarily call it “ Karma” since the term pertains to Buddhism and reincarnation. I personally prefer what Christ said…” Love your neighbour as yourself “ and of course…” Do unto others”. Jesus spoke truth. If people would keep these principles in their hearts during relationships, there would be no need to hope for “ Karma” since we would truly love and be loved by our spouses!